Serious Blind love

Chocobowill

Chocobowill

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Have you ever experienced blind love? Like i mean that two people really like each-other but there is mixed signals floating around. And then you start thinking it going to end up being a friendship but you want more. You start feeling that the other only sees you as a friend. Subsequently, they tell you of a person they like and complain that they arnt showing them attention, and basically taunting them. And my position is that, i adore the person who has done this to me and been there for them when no-one else really has, i mean, what could i do? The emotion is intense.
 
A man should not let emotions control his life. It can lead to ruin.

Before you devote all your attention and energy to someone and say "They're the one for me", be absolutely sure they'll return the favor. That's why I dislike love; you can never really tell if someone feels the same way you do, and would devote as much time and energy as you would for them.
 
Ah yes, I remember this feeling all too well...although I wouldn't necessarily call it 'love'. I mean I don't know, back then I used to say "I love this person" (who was actually a close friend of mine back in sophomore-junior year) and I do know the feelings I felt for him were real, but I didn't get to explore it with him to know if it was actual 'love' - you know, the real deal. There were a lot of mixed feelings floating between us because we did start out as friends and for some reason we were afraid to communicate with each other in a romantic level even though we both wanted to. The signs were there, and our mutual friends knew about our feelings for each other. They actually told me that at one point when he was spilling his feelings about me to them, he started tearing up a bit. We both had a lot of things going on at the time and there were some things that kinda kept as apart, mostly due to his end, which I won't elaborate.

But then somewhere along the way he kinda left me hanging, but I think it was because he thought I was leaving him hanging as well...if that makes sense. So he started dating other girls, and I started dating two other guys (not at the same time of course). We still remained friends although there were tensions and some jealousy floating around, thinking that the other finally sees the other as a 'friend' only and has moved on. It went on for months. I'd pass by the hallway and see him and sometimes we'll ignore each other even though we were both very aware of each other's presence. There were definitely a lot of stealing glances from us both and some petty arguments later on. I think it got to the point where the two of us were actually trying to taunt each other indirectly by playing with each other's feelings (I say this now that I'm looking back at our silly actions).

He left the U.S to go back to our home country back in summer 2004 and he's still there actually. We both have said in so many words through our actions that we really liked each other and wished it could have worked out between us. Deep down yes, he did play an important role in my life and yeah, maybe back then I believed that I loved him but now that I'm married and have my own family, love has its own different meaning compared to what I felt for him. It's still special though, I'll say that. We'll speak every now and then via Facebook and naturally the feelings aren't there anymore, but the memories are nonetheless sweet. So blind love? I suppose.
 
Thanks for the info guys. Its very complicated, but i wanna tell her how i feel, just that i lack the courage, because idk if the awkwardness will rule over the situation, and she will think im a creep or something, but im just taking it slow, i want her happy, and thats all that matters, but id like to be happy to, any way i could be ranting, thanks for the support.
 
I would personally say that all love is blind. Humans are completely isolated from one another - you can never truly tell what another person is thinking, and often what one is thinking and what one actually says are two completely different things...or it loses a great deal in translation from thought to words. The effect is the same, really - you cannot know another person, and there will always be doubts that they feel the same way about you that you do about them. Does this feeling of uncertainty not defy the point of romantic love? Its about unwavering trust and devotion: two things humans are not capable of regarding others, in my opinion. There are simply too many doubts. Co-operation, attraction, mutual respect, yes, but love?

"Love" has far too diluted a meaning these days anyway, its a word that is tossed around so casually. People using it as a substitute for "like" and other such words has made it a horrendously difficult word to interpret.

My advice would be to stop and consider these intense feelings. What would you hope to gain from love? The only real difference I can see between love and friendship is physical intimacy - you can be just as close as, if not closer, to someone if you are just friends with them. What difference is it really going to make if you declare you love this friend? I would personally say that it is going to add a level of awkwardness to your friendship and, frankly speaking, taint it. Exposed intensity like that, in my experience, makes things very awkward between friends. It ruins the close friendship that they once had. Of course, one could argue that it makes things better between the two (although I personally don't believe that) but why take the risk?

Love, I believe, is also supposed to be an altruistic feeling - you love someone for who they are, not for your own desires. So, is loving them not enough? If you expect the same feeling in return, I would question whether it is love at all. Love is its own reward, as they say...or something like that, anyway.
 
I mean yes and no.. humans can over complicate things time to time to be honest. I blame it on the media! (cop out? =)) Well either way not to many people are forward with their love now a days or else they are considered more of a desperate head case.

I remember in High School it was practically impossible to date a girl from the same school, due to the fact not many people hung around the same groups of people outside of it. So expressing even the slightest of interest was very hard to do. So Blind love... yea, I had a few things occur.

I wasn't a big fan of showing my emotions really. I was one of those hard up fellas (less sensitive), that really just was about the comedian inside me rather than trying to get close to a girl emotionally. Emotional I was a tough nut to crack, physical I still wanted to be on the dating circuit though.

So transitionally, I did have strong feelings for someone, but you know expressing them was near impossible. It might have been the fear of rejection for one girl, or it could of been losing their friendship forever. I mean I was never called "just friends" and I could tell there were cue's for me to actually ask her on a date. She knew she looked good, and she was hit on constantly, and her damn interest was in me actually.. but eh I guess it's the whole commitment thing where if me being socially awkward from the anxiety, would she treat me like a loser. So rather than asking her and letting her have a chance.. I just let it go.. and well whatever =P.

I guess now a days I don't think about it much because I blossomed socially at my senior year and then into college and such. But Love... well only one I can honestly say and that's with my fiance I'm with now. So I have no doubt, that taking chances.. well honestly I say go ahead! See where it leads, it makes life more exciting and less regrets in my opinion. Don't complicate things with our human ways.. just be forward if you can.. easier said than done.
 
I used to kind of do the whole “be patient” thing with people, being friends with them and seeing where it goes. It doesn't go anywhere. The more time you spend friends with a person, the lower the chance that they'll think of it as a relationship because they'll get used to just being friends. Of course I've also heard of different outcomes..... go figure.

Personally I think that the person who I end up marrying will be someone who I knew for less time than I knew most friends, that went for a relationship instead of a friendship. Few people have the time to second-guess whether a friend of theirs wanted something more.

Also, if you want to express feelings that you want a relationship with a friend, be careful because that might end the friendship if they don't feel the same way.
 
No, I have not experienced this kind of love, but that's probably because I am a rational person rather than someone who lets their emotions take control of them and wears their heart on their sleeves. I don't think it's a good thing to be anything otherwise because not being rational (at some point) is when things are going to go awry. Many times people jump into love so quickly and it ends up in disaster or worse (or sometimes it's a mutual 'break up'). In any case, I prefer not to venture blindly into this avenue of life.
 
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