Christmas Jokes (2017)

[Dionysos]

Final Fantasy Forums – Christmas Jokes!​

Many a joke has been told during the Christmas period. Some are good; most are bad. Anyone familiar with Christmas crackers shall know of jokes so cringe-inducing that they become entertaining.

Here is your chance to create your very own Final Fantasy themed Christmas joke!


Please consider:
1. You can freely choose the structure and style of your joke.
2. They must be Final Fantasy themed.
3. They do not need to be Christmas themed – but it would be nice to have some Christmas themed jokes too.

See last year's entries here.

You can post your jokes in this thread, and you can post as many jokes as you want in the thread. The more the merrier!


Each participant will gain 1 CT for entering the contest. Any additional joke will not grant the same participant any further CT but may increase the chances of a good joke being told and winning the competition.

If we receive a lot of entries then the jokes which receive the most Forum ‘likes’ and appear to be the most popular may be selected for a final round of voting to determine the ultimate cracker of a joke.


The winner will receive a 'Christmas Ball', 5 CT and GP.


You can start telling your jokes now!


Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

 

[sly]

Just to get us started. (I stole all of these, and yes I know they don't qualify.)



Q: Why did the snow man have a smile on his face?
A: Because the snow blower was coming down the block.

Q: Why doesn't Santa have any kids of his own?
A: Because he only comes once a year and it's down the chimney.

Q: Why does Santa land on the roof?
A: Because he likes it on top.

Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney?
A: Because Mrs. Clause told him he'd never get in the back door.

Q: Why was Santa upset that he got a sweater for Xmas?
A: Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

Q: What do female reindeer do for fun?
A: They go into town and blow a few bucks.

 

[Dionysos]

What does Bartz wrap his Christmas presents with?

With a chocobow.

 

[Linnaete]

"This way, Mr Trump, and erm, I would also appreciate it if you don't grab me by the derriere again," sighed Quistis in an audibly exasperated tone as she led Balamb Garden's newest headmaster through the umpteenth pristine hallway towards the Training Centre.

Strutting proudly behind her was Headmaster Trump (how exactly he managed to obtain this position of great authority despite his lack of qualifications is beyond me, but this wouldn't be the first time anyone has ever raised this question), whose mind was currently preoccupied with the most tremendously salient of matters: how many gold ingots would need to be melted down to turn this entire establishment into an extension of Trump Tower?

"This is the Training Centre, Headmaster. This is where our students can be tested to their martial limits against real monsters. I would warn you not to enter-"

"There is no one more leveled up than I am. Believe me!" cried Headmaster Trump, as he proceeded to haughtily waltz in.


......


Fifteen minutes later, Dr Kadowaki hurriedly reported to the scene along with a small contingency of elite SeeD candidate students. "What happened? Instructor Trepe reported that the Headmaster had a particularly dramatic encounter with a T-Rexaur!"

"Indeed. I was just very startled and frightened by the sight of that big scary head and those tiny little flailing hands..."

















...said the T-Rexaur.

 

[Dionysos]

What does Yuna decorate for Christmas?
Her Treedus.

 

[Dionysos]

There is still time to enter!


Remember, there is no limit to the number of jokes which you submit. You can post as many as you like whenever you can think of them.

They do not need to be good either!

 

[sly]

Q: Why did Cindy ask Santa for a purse for Christmas?

A: Because she gave up trying to spell personality.


Q: What did Santa say to Cindy?

A: Ho, Ho, Ho...

 

[Linnaete]

It was Christmas Day on Cocoon. The Fal'Cie Shiva had already blanketed the world in a generous layer of snow and the children of Cocoon were regaled with the tale of the Fal'Cie Santa Claus and all those helper elves whose Focus was to deliver presents to all the well behaved children of the world. If the elves don't succeed in delivering all the presents and fail their Focus, they turn to zombies forever.

"Mom is tough, but unfortunately she's been too busy and hasn't been able to buy you a gift this year, sweetie," said Nora Estheim regrettably, as she tucked her son Hope into bed that night, "but don't worry. Your father said he may be able to take time off work tomorrow and come visit. We'll make up for it tomorrow and give you a wonderful present then. Tell me, what do you wish for?"

"To have been born into another family," said Hope curtly, behaving like any bratty teenage kid.

The following day came and Hope was served a copy of his adoption certificate.

 

[Mitsuki]

What did The Grinch give little Cindy Lou for Christmas?

Why, a toolbox kit.