Depression / Suicide

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Tristis Miles

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Amidst the mass of events occurring in the world, it's not difficult to fall under a heavy load of stress. At times, the pressure builds to a point that's not only negative, but dangerous.

The things you do affect not only yourself, but those around you as well. But to pull them close, or push them away?

When life seems just too much, some turn toward an exit. They need an escape and so take the measures necessary to rid themselves of the pain they're going through.

This is what I wonder. Do you have, or know someone who has depression? Reflect upon why you or they have it if you care to. What are your thoughts on depression and suicide? What would you do if you knew someone who was about to take their own life? Anything you'd like to say to those struggling under the weight of world's demands? And finally, anything you have that relates to these two states.

Remember, be considerate. This is quite the touchy subject, and deep down, especially for those who do have depression and/or suicidal thoughts.
 
I've been depressed in the past before. It's like a long slump though I'm sure it's not as bad as others. During those times, I've also thought about suicide and how it might just relieve everything but I firmly decided that suicide is not the way I want to go. I'd rather crash, roll and burn lol.

But while I was in a state of depression, there were a few things that I noticed. You seek attention and affection from other people. As you are, your already under a heavy load and don't want to do anything. Also, when your depressed, you seem to be living for yourself. Kinda like "me, me me" thing but more unconsciously. When I noticed this, I was astonished and surprised.

I dunno how I got out of depression but it took a very long time. 3 years I say.

For those that are depressed, find your own road even if you have to seclude yourself from the outside world for a bit. Do some soul searching and/or self-analysis. Determine who you are and where you want to go.

Though the world may seem ugly, it does have hidden places that are beautiful.
 
Interesting subject, but I agree very touchy.

I don't think I'd want to post my experiences here for everybody to read, lol.

Kudos to those that share though.
 
In the great words of Vash the Stampede "I highly dissaprove of suicide more than anything." I would have to agree with that quote. Depression is stupid, I have been there done that, and this is what I can say about depression. It is a waste of time, It only hurts you and the people you are close to. It can ruin friendships and bring you to wish you were dead, thus sucide. Depression and Suicide go hand in hand, you never want to balance those two together. Depression gets you nowhere in life, if anything, it just holds you back. Ok, I'm done.
 
Um, I know of someone...my aunt. She was really depressed because my uncle hits her and use verbal abuse. Well, about two years ago, my cousin found her in her room...with a gun. She was lying down on the bed at the time. I don't know if the gun was pointed on her head or stomach...but from what I heard, my cousin started freaking out and told her to drop the gun.

My aunt told her to go away and was crying...and then things happened so quickly...from what my cousin said, she started to lower the gun and...she shot herself. The tricky part though is, no one knows if she actually pulled the trigger or if it was an accident. She was shot on her stomach. My cousin said her finger was already on the trigger...but maybe while she was lowering the gun, she accidentally pulled it?

Because I know my aunt wouldn't dare commit suicide in front of her daughter...

So yeah, that was a very tragic event for all of us. Depression is not a cool thing. I advice that if someone is depressed, they should get help immediately.
 
Hmmm ... tricky, tricky subject ...

I've never been depressed in my life. I've known others who have claimed to have been depressed, but haven't really.

There is major difference between psychological depression and chemical depression. There isn't much you can do for chemical depression: it may be caused by the overuse of certain drugs, or something that is genetically instrinsic.

Psychological depression is an entirely different kettle of fish. It can be cured, quite easily. After all, psychology is merely one aspect of the mind and the mind is entirely malleable. Change the way the mind behaves and you change the nature of your psychosis.

So many concentrate a lot of their attention on their bodies, or their overall looks, or their image according to other people, or their reputation or many other small, insignificant things. Few concentrate on developing healthy minds. Many, like myself, can avoid depression by developing a healthy mind and outlook on life.
 
I always thought that suicide was weak, self harm was weak, and it was all weak, when I mean weak, I mean a weak mentality. However, some matters do make me extremely depressed, I mean really. I can look forward and predict how my life will be based on how it is so far, I'm 18, in college, and everyday tends to be the same trash again and again. When I graduate from college I'll start work and the cycle continues, and it will go on and on, until maybe I get fired or until I die. Not only that but I can never do anything right, my family is in financial trouble, I never meet anyones expectations, and I cant even protect my love for that special person because I allow myself to think these things, with a lot of stuff happening the future always looks so bleak to me. However there is one thing that I wont allow and thats self harm. I won't allow it now but I fear one day it may become uncontrollable. Even though I understand that there are people in far worse situations than I, its a mental state. My point of this is that sometimes suicide becomes uncontrollable, no matter if people around the world are like 5000x as poor or 5000x as rich, depression is there, and its like its own little conscience, and it can take control easily if you succumb to it. I believe that even though suicide is totally against a persons beliefs and what he may stand for, it can become their fate easily.

The one thing that we always do though is that we dread on all the negatives around us and we never focus on the positive. We understand this and try to be more optimistic but the pessimistic views always are there, hiding, in the darkness of your mind. We always tend to dig through a box of diamonds to find a speck of dirt..
 
Like Kether, I have never been depressed or ever thought about it. My life is fast moving and i just try to have fun with it. I never figured how cutting yourself and hurting yourself could help you if your depressed though.
 
Kether said:
Hmmm ... tricky, tricky subject ...

I've never been depressed in my life. I've known others who have claimed to have been depressed, but haven't really.

There is major difference between psychological depression and chemical depression. There isn't much you can do for chemical depression: it may be caused by the overuse of certain drugs, or something that is genetically instrinsic.

Psychological depression is an entirely different kettle of fish. It can be cured, quite easily. After all, psychology is merely one aspect of the mind and the mind is entirely malleable. Change the way the mind behaves and you change the nature of your psychosis.

So many concentrate a lot of their attention on their bodies, or their overall looks, or their image according to other people, or their reputation or many other small, insignificant things. Few concentrate on developing healthy minds. Many, like myself, can avoid depression by developing a healthy mind and outlook on life.
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Excellent post Kethar. You are right about the two different types of depression. When it comes to the chemical depression, it doesn't necessarily mean drugs is the cause. There is something called a "chemical imbalance" that stimulates the brain causing one to suffer from the disease called "Manic Depressive" There is also another type that women, who have had children such as myself, go through. It's called the "Post-Partum Depression" and is also known as the "Baby Blues"

I suffered through this for the first year of my son's life. It's very much like a chemical imbalance. It puts you in the same state as depression would, but it also prevents you from caring about anything. I didn't care about taking care of my son, I didn't care about keeping the house cleaned and I got to the point where I didn't really care about living anymore. I wasn't suicidal, there's a difference. I was just at that point where I didn't care if I lived or died, but never once had any thoughts of killing myself either. That's another type of depression that unfortunately women could end up struggling through that have had children. I do not want to go into details about what all I did, but I had no control what-so-ever on what was happening to me during my Post Partum Depression. It didn't come down to what I looked like or how my body felt, that had nothing to do with it. It all came down to the chemical imbalance I was struggling with.

My husband is another prime example. He suffers from this disease (Manic Depressive) and has for a prolonged period of time. While certain anti-depressant medications do the trick, they also sometimes do not always work either. The chemical imbalance can't always be thoroughly cured but it can be helped. We've gone through a lot, but there are days that are good and days that are bad. I just always try and be there for him to keep him on top of everything so he doesn't fall back down in that downward spiral. As I said before, it doesn't come down to what he looks like or how his body feels, it all comes down to the chemical imbalance that he is struggling with.

As for suicide, some people look at suicide as the only way out. Another prime example that I will share with you all is my best friend, Erin. We were best friends since kindegarten. Erin grew up in a very abusive and I do mean ABUSIVE home. Her mother and father were both severe alcoholics, they mentally, physically and verbally abused Erin to the point of where she felt like she wasn't worth being alive in this world anymore. If her body wasn't covered in bruises, her lip wasn't bleeding or her nose wasn't at some point then her heart and her mind were by those two. Her self esteem was brought down to -0. When my family moved away from home to a completely different state, Erin lost the one thing that was actually keeping her going and that was me. I always there to help her, cheer her on and keep her spirits going. She would come and stay with me at my parents house for weeks at a time when her parents were at their worst. 2 weeks after I moved, I recieved a phone call from her absolutely hysterical. She told me she couldn't continue going on, she told me she didn't want to live anymore. She was all alone now that I had gone. I begged and pleaded with her not to do anything and I told her I would see what I could do to bring her here to stay with me. We ended up in agrument on the phone that day and hung up without ever clearing it. Late that night I recieved a phone call telling me that Erin had committed suicide in the bathroom in her home. I never once got to tell her I was sorry for arguing with her and I wonder if she even knew how much she meant to me. It's been 7 years since that night and I will never forget it for as long as I live. Erin took her own life because she felt she had no other way out. That's just what happens to some people and I don't feel Erin was being selfish in a situation such as this.

Now, as for others who cut for attention and claim they're going to take their life, that makes me sick. It disgusts me to no end and I feel they are nothing but attention whores and selfish little wretches. That is my opinion on this entire matter and I mean that as no offense to anyone.
 
I'd have to disagree with those who say suicide or self harm is weak. Why? Well, making the move to cause harm to your own self is quite a gutsy thing: most people wouldn't be able to go through with such a thing, let alone "all the way."

I'm not, however, praising suicide either. I wish the whole aspect was thrown out and never proposed as an answer. It makes one sad inside, to know that such pressures amount to the extreme where someone takes their life.

I can see why some resort to such measures. Life, after all, is like running the mile in P.E. class. Some can run it just fine, while others have a hard time but choose to keep going despite the cramp in their side and aches in their body. Finally there are those who just can't run anymore.

Some view self-harm and suicide as a very selfish thing. But if their life is so full of suffering, and they feel they can bear it no longer, wouldn't the selfish thing be to force this person to continue going through such hell?

Lady Aerith, I somewhat agree with you when you speak of the 'attention-seekers.' Suicide is indeed a very serious matter and not to be taken lightly. Through your experience too, this level of sincerity is perhaps more real to you than it may be to some others. However though, the fact that they cut in the first place means there is something wrong in their life that needs to be tended to; something they're not receiving from society that you are. For that I give them some 'slack' so to speak.

And to what Mitsuki said in the end there about getting help immediately: I know this taps against pride, but if you have depression and are struggling, it is okay to get help. It does not mean you're weak, on any level. Life is one hell of a tough cookie, and we all need help and rely on each other at some point. Don't be afraid to accept it.
 
In my experience self harm and suicide are worlds apart. My ex was a self harmer and never once did she express that she wanted to kill herself. I blamed myself for her self harm and she tried constantly to tell me that there was a difference. In the end I decided that I could not continue my life with her (only so many times you can take guilty looks in casualty).

I saw her last year and she seems to be doing very well. As for suicide, well its a bit shit isn't it? You just have to think of the poor buggers who love you and work out whether you are willing to live for them or sentence them to a life of pain and remorse.

Last word on suicide, yep I have contemplated it but here is the key. Its not rock bottom that makes people kill themselves, its the journey down. When you are rock bottom you cannot even be arsed to kill yourself. Watch out for your friends and your lovers. Watch them when they fall and lift them when they hit the lowest, going up is so much easier.
 
anybody who tries to commit suicide is a coward in my opnion who doesnt have the nerves to handle depression or tension
 
People who commit suicide, I don't think of them as cowards. I agree with Tristis Miles. It is a rather gutsy thing to kill yourself, or for that matter, to even hurt yourself.

As for myself, I have been depressed. It was first noticed a few years ago, around 7th grade. I was always that kid who sat in the corner, never talking, and always reading. I could stay quiet and not talk for weeks or months at a time. I was usually teased about how I said things, how I dressed. At other times, people would completely ignore me. I eventually ended up having to go to a psychologist, and was prescribed a medicine to help balance me out. I've gotten over that, though I do find myself slipping back into depression every once and awhile.

I have noticed one thing. For the people who are even moderatly wealthy to rich, and for the people who have really good grades or work: People can't seem to believe that these people have any problems. My family is doing pretty well, we're not rich, but we have a good sized house and an okay lot of stuff. I also make better grades then most of my classmates. I want everybody to know it's not as easy as it looks, despite what alot (Even some of my best friends) of people think, it's hard. There are high expections for A+ work, all the time. It's expected for you to carry on and keep the family wealthy. Your teased or jealous of because people hate that their poorer. I ended up being ignored for that more than once, and have found myself even being screamed at because I was 'more fortunate'.
 
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Your perspective of life can make you want to commit suicide. Everyone has a different perspective of life that we're all entitled to, but there is no such thing as the right perspective, and we are helpless to it anyways. Certain people cannot help seeing the things they see, and that may as well be what leads them to suicide. People can disagree with it because they have a different perspective, and live a different life, and fail to see how or why certain people desire suicide.

Well actually, it should be said that people don't commit suicide because they want to; people commit suicide because they believe they have no other choice. This is, again, a consequence of their perspective. It's not anything you or I can do about it.
 
For my full story that I am in the mood to actually post, see my post under the thread of betrayal which can be found here: http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/ye-olde-deep-sea-research-center/betrayal-1990-page4.html


While this is a topic that greatly intrigues me, and one that I could talk non-stop for days on end about, I unfortunately just don't have it in me to create such a post tonight. Perhaps another night.

Thank You Tristis Miles for the thread!
 
The Best said:
anybody who tries to commit suicide is a coward in my opnion who doesnt have the nerves to handle depression or tension
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In my personal experience, those who try or do commit suicide, have done so because they cant cope with the depression any more, or because they cant see a way forward.

I am a reforming self harmer, and I still suffer with depression. Ive had depression since I was 19, and I'm 27 now.

Its not easy, having depression. You have good days, and you have bad. When you have the good days, people (in my experience) automatically assume that your faking the bad days. Me, I have more bad days than good, especially in the past 3 years since My aunt died. The only thing that has ever gotten me through the darkest days, has been the support of my online friends (I dont make friends easily in the real world, ive been crapped on once too often), and Final Fantasy.
 
LadyCazzeh,

I will not go into a full on psychological interpretation, and therefore diagnosis, or your situation based solely on what I learned here, for two reasons: 1)What you chose to post is up to you, I will not try and bring more of your personal life/diagnosis into a public forum without your permission, and 2)Because frankly, whatever I could say would just be a broad generalization, or a generalization about broads... (scientifically speaking there is a higher tendency for depression in females, but I just said it because it was funny and... well... yes.)


On the other hand, I can at least, if nothing else say that your statement about self harming (be it mental, physical or what not) is a common thread we share. While I no longer self mutilate, I do know what you are going through, including the daily relapsing. If for any reason you wish to talk to someone about your issues that you have not already (sometimes it's easier to unload your burdens on a stranger) I am always here for you. This goes for anyone in this thread, forum or otherwise as well.

Also, because the topics of depression, suicide, and self mutilation interest me so (as a former member of all three groups, with my own relapses) I would love to talk to you about it anyways. I would appreciate it if you were to contact me privately (through AIM or e-mail) so we can discuss this matter more in depth. It doesn't even have to be about your specific case, just the facts at hand about the general topic.

I would say we can just as easily talk about it here, but if at any time you were to decide that you wanted to talk about your own experiences and what not, but did not want them spread publicly, posting here would become an issue. That, and well, this is a public forum and not a personal phone line or something.

Anyways, here is my contact list should you decide to say hello:

AIM - DisAlienMud
Email - Omniscient Onus @ gmail . com (without the spaces... sigh, automatic spammers! :mad:)

You are all welcome to contact me here for the reasons of talking about depression or suicide (be it a general talk or specifically about me or yourself) or just to give a friendly "hello".

I hope this isn't somehow against the forum rules... I never really did read them. :huh:

EDIT: Oh Yeah, you can talk to me about final fantasy too! Maybe we can start with that in the forums though. :P
 
As for suicide, some people look at suicide as the only way out. Another prime example that I will share with you all is my best friend, Erin.

:( so sorry Aerith. Well here goes my story and this one is still hard for me and i'm 30 years old now....

When i was 9 years old my father killed himself while i was in the house with my brother. Me and my brother where downstairs and me Mom was upstairs. He had planned to kill us as well and called for us to come upstairs to see him. My mother screamed for us to run. I was the older brother and grabbed my younger brother by the arm dragged him to the front door and open then slammed the door. I then shoved myself and my bother in a closet downstairs ...( whew this is harder than i thought )... and we heard a loud bang. Shortly after my mother came running down the stairs and threw up all over the floor. After that happened it was me, my brother, and my mom alone for years. I've lived in houses on floors kicking rats off me to try to sleep. I've worked since i was 12 so we could survive. In the end now a days my familys great and everyones o.k. I always hated my dad for leaving me till a couple years ago i forgave him and made peace with myself. I get depressed sometimes..alot when i was younger but ever since my daughter was born i swore i would never leave her and ended up raising her myself till 5-6 years ago when i got married. I'll never forget the power of depression and what it can do. BUT I DO HATE SOMEONE WHO CLAIMS TO WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES FOR ATTENTION. Especially when they have children. This post is very true and please do not pick at it or me for it. Thanks
 
ladycazzeh said:
Its not easy, having depression. You have good days, and you have bad. When you have the good days, people (in my experience) automatically assume that your faking the bad days.
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So true. I've had people tell me things like, 'Pheh, you can't possibly be so depressed. Here you are happy and jumping around playing.' That happened alot to me, especially in the past year or so. I started trying to be happier and more into life, and whenever I had an off day, people would just roll there eyes and say I wanted attention.

That also seems to happen alot to me in school. I have juevenile arthritis, and I really do try not to complain, even though it can have it's painful days. It seems that people try to tell you to do your best and try to be happy, yet you can come to them in times of saddness/pain. Whenever I'm in pain or I'm depressed and have to take it slow, nobody tries to help. Instead of helping, I usually get a response like, 'Why should they help you, why should you get an easier why out and have them take it easy on you? WHY ARE YOU SO SPECIAL?'

I can't describe how much I hate it when people do that.
 
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