Emotionless
ShinRa Guard
Choking back tears, I slammed the empty glass down on the counter, golden brown liquid dripping from my mouth. With a shaky arm I wiped away the scotch from my cheeks, throat on fire. I rested my head on my arm, which was resting on the counter and coughed a few times, sniffling.
"Hey kid. Mind if I sit down?" a voice came from behind. I lifted my head and through bleary eyes saw a middle aged man with goggles standing behind me.
"Yeah... Whatever..." I murmured, lifting the bottle to fill my glass. As I tipped the glass over, a hiccup rocked my body and scotch spilled all over the counter. Cid grabbed the bottle from my shaky hands and filled my glass for me, then filled his own glass.
"I was in love once too, y'know. Fine bitch, she was... I take that back; fine woman... She deserves more respect than I'm givin'," Cid started, knocking back his glass of scotch. I gave Cid a glance out of the corner of my eyes, indicating that I was willing to listen.
"Eyes as green as the grass in Summer, skin as soft as satin... She was a real beaut, that one was... She died. She was a pilot, jes' like me. Wanted to fly all the way across the god dammed world she did, and by God she did," Cid muttered, pounding his fist on the counter. I set down my glass and turned my full attention to him; I felt compelled to give him my full attention.
"We went to pilot school together; were partners for flight training and all. Had a few late nights, did some things that were important to the two of us. We graduated, she a little higher up on the list than me. I was the better flyer, no doubt but she had more smarts that I ever did. Said she wanted to build her own plane for this world trip; I told her I'd help. That was twenty five years ago; you were probably only a year or so old. Odd to think about, eh?" Cid gave a small laugh and slammed another glass of scotch, wiping his face with his hand.
"Shit took a turn for the worst after that. We finished the plane in little over a year; we had almost no money so supplies took a long time to buy... Called it the Tiny Bronco; got most o' the parts from Shinra, back when they used to just be a weapons manufacturer. I wanted to paint it red; she wanted to paint it white. So we decided to compromise and painted the damn thing pink. Don't ask me why; probably had something to do with those tits she had... Anyways..." Cid took another drink, his arms shaking this time. His eyes glazed over for a moment, then started to glisten a little as moisture pooled up at the rims. I lifted my arm and hesitantly rested my hand on his shoulder.
"You don't have to keep going, Cid..." I started, but he motioned my hand away and shook his head.
"You don't get it, Cloud. I gotta keep going; I haven't even gotten to the damn moral yet, so sit your ass down and listen!"
"As I was sayin', we painted it pink and called it the Tiny Bronco. After some fine tuning, we both agreed that it was safe for her to fly on such a long trip. That was the start of the bad luck... We were both still fairly young and inexperienced; there were a ton o' things wrong with it that we overlooked since we didn't know any better..." Cid took another long drink.
"The day came for her to leave for her trip. We said our farewells, and we made a promise to get married and settle down after she got back. Was the happiest day of my life kid, don't you doubt that. About three days after she left, one of the villagers came busting into my house screaming about some accident... Turned out that she got about as far as Nibelheim and needed to turn back, that something was wrong... Shenever made it. She crashed out there in Mt. Nibel. I searched and searched for her, but there was no sign of her, or the Tiny Bronco..." Cid wiped at his face again as tears started to stream down his face, and at that moment he looked very, very old.
"Cid..." I said, resting my hand on his shoulder again.
"God dammit Cloud, she made it around the world and back, and she's still flying around I tell you. In her own airplane, in that Lifestream that's saved our asses twice now. I seen her face in it when it destroyed Meteor, and I seen her face in it when it cured the Geostigma. What I'm trying to say, kid, is that no matter how much you might have loved someone, they're never truly gone. And even if you find love in someone else, you're not betraying them. I know you got feelings for Tifa; good thing to, god damn she's a beaut... Don't feel ashamed by them! Don't be a prick and hide behind a wall, like I been doing for poor Shera!" Cid shouted, slamming down another drink.
I stared at Cid for a few moments longer, taking in the image of this gruff, seemingly stone solid man crying his eyes out and realized that he was completely right. I stood up and stood next to him, staring him right in the eyes.
"Thank you, Cid." I shook his hand, and left, leaving him to his scotch and his memories. Shutting the door, I heard a few more muffled sobs, some banging, and a lot of swearing.
"Oh for fuck... Where the hell are my god damn cigarettes?!"
I couldn't help but laugh.
--- Tell me what you think please!
"Hey kid. Mind if I sit down?" a voice came from behind. I lifted my head and through bleary eyes saw a middle aged man with goggles standing behind me.
"Yeah... Whatever..." I murmured, lifting the bottle to fill my glass. As I tipped the glass over, a hiccup rocked my body and scotch spilled all over the counter. Cid grabbed the bottle from my shaky hands and filled my glass for me, then filled his own glass.
"I was in love once too, y'know. Fine bitch, she was... I take that back; fine woman... She deserves more respect than I'm givin'," Cid started, knocking back his glass of scotch. I gave Cid a glance out of the corner of my eyes, indicating that I was willing to listen.
"Eyes as green as the grass in Summer, skin as soft as satin... She was a real beaut, that one was... She died. She was a pilot, jes' like me. Wanted to fly all the way across the god dammed world she did, and by God she did," Cid muttered, pounding his fist on the counter. I set down my glass and turned my full attention to him; I felt compelled to give him my full attention.
"We went to pilot school together; were partners for flight training and all. Had a few late nights, did some things that were important to the two of us. We graduated, she a little higher up on the list than me. I was the better flyer, no doubt but she had more smarts that I ever did. Said she wanted to build her own plane for this world trip; I told her I'd help. That was twenty five years ago; you were probably only a year or so old. Odd to think about, eh?" Cid gave a small laugh and slammed another glass of scotch, wiping his face with his hand.
"Shit took a turn for the worst after that. We finished the plane in little over a year; we had almost no money so supplies took a long time to buy... Called it the Tiny Bronco; got most o' the parts from Shinra, back when they used to just be a weapons manufacturer. I wanted to paint it red; she wanted to paint it white. So we decided to compromise and painted the damn thing pink. Don't ask me why; probably had something to do with those tits she had... Anyways..." Cid took another drink, his arms shaking this time. His eyes glazed over for a moment, then started to glisten a little as moisture pooled up at the rims. I lifted my arm and hesitantly rested my hand on his shoulder.
"You don't have to keep going, Cid..." I started, but he motioned my hand away and shook his head.
"You don't get it, Cloud. I gotta keep going; I haven't even gotten to the damn moral yet, so sit your ass down and listen!"
"As I was sayin', we painted it pink and called it the Tiny Bronco. After some fine tuning, we both agreed that it was safe for her to fly on such a long trip. That was the start of the bad luck... We were both still fairly young and inexperienced; there were a ton o' things wrong with it that we overlooked since we didn't know any better..." Cid took another long drink.
"The day came for her to leave for her trip. We said our farewells, and we made a promise to get married and settle down after she got back. Was the happiest day of my life kid, don't you doubt that. About three days after she left, one of the villagers came busting into my house screaming about some accident... Turned out that she got about as far as Nibelheim and needed to turn back, that something was wrong... Shenever made it. She crashed out there in Mt. Nibel. I searched and searched for her, but there was no sign of her, or the Tiny Bronco..." Cid wiped at his face again as tears started to stream down his face, and at that moment he looked very, very old.
"Cid..." I said, resting my hand on his shoulder again.
"God dammit Cloud, she made it around the world and back, and she's still flying around I tell you. In her own airplane, in that Lifestream that's saved our asses twice now. I seen her face in it when it destroyed Meteor, and I seen her face in it when it cured the Geostigma. What I'm trying to say, kid, is that no matter how much you might have loved someone, they're never truly gone. And even if you find love in someone else, you're not betraying them. I know you got feelings for Tifa; good thing to, god damn she's a beaut... Don't feel ashamed by them! Don't be a prick and hide behind a wall, like I been doing for poor Shera!" Cid shouted, slamming down another drink.
I stared at Cid for a few moments longer, taking in the image of this gruff, seemingly stone solid man crying his eyes out and realized that he was completely right. I stood up and stood next to him, staring him right in the eyes.
"Thank you, Cid." I shook his hand, and left, leaving him to his scotch and his memories. Shutting the door, I heard a few more muffled sobs, some banging, and a lot of swearing.
"Oh for fuck... Where the hell are my god damn cigarettes?!"
I couldn't help but laugh.
--- Tell me what you think please!
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