Inconsiderate things people say

[Rydia]

What are some things you have heard people say to you or to others that have made your jaw drop, or atleast frown and how inconsiderate, rude, or nasty it was.

When my cousin was pregnant, this is what her mother said to her.

"I think you are having a girl because when you have a girl, you are typically not as pretty."

Just wow. My cousin was nearly in tears.

Said to my sister after she adopted.

"Who were her real parents?" This may not seem like a big deal, but it is very hurtful to adoptve parents because they are certaintly the child's real parents. it is espeically hurtful when the adoptive parents were never able to concieve. A better way to phrase it would be "biological parents"

These were said to my fiance's cousin's wife who was experiencing infertility. They spent thousands of dollars on treatments, and when they finally concieved, she miscarried and was told that her utereus could not carry a baby to full term.

"I wish I had that(infertility) problem"

"Oh my husband just has to look at me and I get pregnant."

"God probably has other plans for you."

Said around Christmas time when she did not want to go to the family party where there would be tons of kids and a few pregnant couples. She had miscarried in november and had just called it a day for having kids. This raised a huge uproar which I do not think she deserved.

"You need to get over it and spend time with the family."

"You're being childish."

"You probably weren't supposed to have children anyway."

Said to someone who was paraplegic and in a wheelchair.

"Does "everything" (meaning man parts) work?" (A bit too personal?)

"How do you have sex?"

And the winner:

Said to a mother of an autistic child.

"God is punishing you with this child."

Um... no, she loves her child for who he is! And since when is an autistic child a bad thing?

Her response was win though. It was "No, God has gifted me with this child because he knows that I am capable of handing his needs! And he is the smartest and sweetest six year old I have ever met!"

 

[StrungOut]

There are two things that comes to my mind. First, my cousin died 6 months ago. He had a huge physical and mental handicap. He was placed in a specialized center for handicap people at the age of 7. When he died, my aunt didn't called my mom. My mom only knew recently he passed away and my aunt told my mom on the phone:

"I wanted to be in mourning alone. Anyway you didn't gave a shit about him since you almost never visited him."

It may not sound rude but my mom was really affected by it and she was crying afterward. I mean my cousin was still a family member and those words came from my mother's sister.WTF? Funerals are more to support the ones that affected by the death than seeing a dead body.

The second thing I have heard that really affected me is one of my uncle saying to my dad:

"maybe your son would be better in a asylum. He would be with people like him."

WTF does he know about my actual mental state. I don't need comments from ignorants people like that who doesn't know anything about what I have. I don't really want to go into another post about it but considering my past situation I found that really rude and hurful. Enough said.

 

[Channizard]

Working at McDonalds, you deal with a lot of abuse. I mean. A LOT.

Long story short cause I don't wanna try get into it, but this lady and her daughter were haggling with me to try and get free food. When I wouldn't give them free food, the daughter mutters something and then the mother says "Yeah yeah, lay off the burgers honey!" And then they sped off with their non-free food. It actually took a minute for it to sink in and realize what just happened. All my co-workers who saw it happened stood astonished, in disbelief that this woman could have been that big of a bitch. Yeah I struggle with weight issues, yeah I did moreso back then but I did NOT eat McDonalds food. I'm fat on my own merits because I had surgery tyvm.

Anyway that's the only thing that comes to mind right now.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

I wouldn't technically call this "inconsiderate" since the guy didn't know, but at the same time it's not something that should really be joked about to begin with. My ex's mum has been premature twice, the first time the baby passed away sadly and the second time was not so long ago though he's quite healthy now, thank God. But I was sat in the pub with her two weeks before we broke up from uni for xmas and there was about 10 of us and this guy just wouldn't shut up cracking out dead baby jokes and I think pretty everyone noticed that my ex was getting uncomfortable about because of what happened with her mum BUT the guy who was saying them. Eventually I just told him to fuck off with the jokes since it was sickening rather than funny.. :dave:

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

Omg the other night at my engagement party my two cousins came along (both girls and are sisters) and one of them has a child and is a single mother. The other has a boyfriend.

He was nice at first until he said to the cousin with the baby: "You'd win the award for the most illegitimate child."

I think he thought he was being funny but he said it in front of the child and all of her family as well and made my cousin look a bit upset at the comment.

I couldn't believe the arrogance of him and the fact that my other cousin could even go out with such a douche. It wasn't my other cousins fault she is a single mum. Her partner left her!

 

[Noize]

Omg the other night at my engagement party my two cousins came along (both girls and are sisters) and one of them has a child and is a single mother. The other has a boyfriend.

He was nice at first until he said to the cousin with the baby: "You'd win the award for the most illegitimate child."

I think he thought he was being funny but he said it in front of the child and all of her family as well and made my cousin look a bit upset at the comment.

I couldn't believe the arrogance of him and the fact that my other cousin could even go out with such a douche. It wasn't my other cousins fault she is a single mum. Her partner left her!

Id totally punch that guy out! that was uncalled for on so many levels .

Rydia....Wtf!? I read your post and was completely dumbfounded. I never realised people could be that much of an ass... I've never really had that problem so i dont what it's like to be in that position or to have been around people in that position.... damn.....

 

[Valvalis]

Whenever someone asks an overweight girl if she's pregnant >.> It's never happened to me, but I think it's pretty rude I mean seriously, is it that important to find out if she's pregnant or not right that second? When she's ready to tell you she'll tell you. And if it's none of your business then it should stay that way, I should think. But don't go around asking people that, that's just rude. Not to mention the person you're asking could have fertility problems, and it could hurt their feelings to have to say "no" and then be thinking about it for a while afterwards.

Also, pretty much anything where you're referring to a serious condition in a joking way, in front of someone who actually suffers from that condition >.> Like, whenever I hear someone saying "OMG I have OCD," and then their example is something trivial that lots of people do who don't actually have OCD. However, I have a serious case of it, where it affects pretty much everything in my life; and those people who say that are usually completely ignorant of what it actually means, and it irritates me that they would say that just to try to get attention

 

[Noize]

Whenever someone asks an overweight girl if she's pregnant >.> It's never happened to me, but I think it's pretty rude I mean seriously, is it that important to find out if she's pregnant or not right that second? When she's ready to tell you she'll tell you. And if it's none of your business then it should stay that way, I should think. But don't go around asking people that, that's just rude. Not to mention the person you're asking could have fertility problems, and it could hurt their feelings to have to say "no" and then be thinking about it for a while afterwards.

Also, pretty much anything where you're referring to a serious condition in a joking way, in front of someone who actually suffers from that condition >.> Like, whenever I hear someone saying "OMG I have OCD," and then their example is something trivial that lots of people do who don't actually have OCD. However, I have a serious case of it, where it affects pretty much everything in my life; and those people who say that are usually completely ignorant of what it actually means, and it irritates me that they would say that just to try to get attention

That reminds me of Turrets. I few of my friends have a habit of swearing out top of their lungs for the hell of it, and when they get in trouble or caught by the police ect they turn around and blame it on Turrets and say "they'll never do it again" but end up doing it straight after anyways.

The people that actually suffer from turrets must be insulted by their behaviour now that i think about it, i sure would have.

 

[LadyHermes]

I think the most direspectful thing I heard was when someone came to be around 2 weeks after I lost my child saying

''It's not like you would have looked after the child anyway considering you can't even look after youself half the time''

 

[Aeris]

When I was going through high school, I lost a lot of weight and almost ended up in hospital from it due to depression over how I looked to others. I know it seems stupid but I had no friends growing up, bullied something terrible and my family never took much interest in my existance. So a boost for confidence was really hard to find for me. More and more people around me said that if I took care of my appearance then others wouldn't judge or treat me as harshly. Anyway when I was 15, my gran and her boyfriend (Andy) came to visit from Cyprus and the first thing that came out of his mouth was how I was fat. This made me burst into tears. Of course, my gran is a door mat so did nothing. My mum was pissed and went round to my aunts house (they were staying there while visiting) and tore into the git with her own words. I almost died from the experiance and have a LOT of health issues now because of it. My gran, this year, when she visited also said I was fat. I'm... really distraught over it. I've tried really hard eating right and dieting... I exercise when I'm not ill but... : /