Love and Being IN Love.

[Davey Gaga]

Indeed, it's another soppy thread.

Recent events have led me to question with my friends; is there a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone?

The "loving someone" I'm referring to is the kind that comes long after the crush you have on someone. You say "I love you" to people all of the time, even to the people you like, but you can say that without suggesting it's the "binding" kind of love - the one where it's the first time you've said it to each other; the one that leads to marriage and whatnot.

Do you think there's a difference between loving and being in love with someone? I'm excluding family from this, as that brings unconditional love as a factor into the question and I'd rather not detract away from the main point.

If there is a difference, what do you call that stage?

 

[Gabranth]

Yeah i think there is a diffrence. I would call it, the personality change. You try to change your personality to suit who you love. And vice-versa.

 

[Lirael]

I've thought there was a difference for some time now.

Love is used loosely. "I love you" is simply used to show some kind of affection, be it to a boyfriend/girlfriend, friend or family member. We can say this to anyone, without it meaning we even care for them. I've seen people say "I love you!" simply because someone has given them a chocolate bar. Haha.

Being in love implies something far more. I feel being in love is more like true love. A love that's exclusively between two people who find ultimate happiness together. A love that goes beyond the boundaries of a normal teenage relationship and reaches something deeper and purer.

It's possible to love someone after only knowing them for a short time, but I don't think it's possible to be in love with someone. To be in love you have to build on a relationship, to learn about the deepest and darkest parts of a person's personality, and to see past their flaws. It's not about loving one part of a person and detesting the other. It's about accepting them as a whole, as they are and for who they are, not what they appear to be or what they could be.

Sadly, I don't think many people find someone they're in love with. People marry for love, security, friendship... People marry because they share similar interests or feel happy together and can imagine feeling content. However, that's not what being in love is about. Sure, being in love includes all of that, but it is so much more. I've never been in love so I can't say exactly what, just that it's more than what the average person seeks in life.

 

[Miaku Kitty]

It was funny, because 3 years ago I would have told you I knew what being in love was, because the feeling that I had was the closest feeling to love I had ever felt. At that time I did love my boyfriend, but after we broke up and I got together with "Tim" I knew that I never knew what being in love was before that. It's a really hard feeling to explain.... It's not just the whole butterflies and wanting to see them all the time, because you get that in the initial attraction. It's that plus so much more. You will never know it, till you have felt it, and I think that everyone will eventually feel it in their lifetime. Being in love makes you crazy. You do things that you would never do in a realationship with most anyone else. You find yourself almost being ridiculous and silly. And sometimes you do things that you don't necessaily want to do. That's all I can really say it is.

 

[Rasputin]

Being "in love" is usually referring to romantic love, "love" is referring to general compassion. If your friend has been asking for gum for the past 5 hours and you finally decide to give her a piece, then if she says "Thank god, I love you!", it can usually pass off as a compliment. If she says, "Wow, I think I'm in love with you!", it's a little bit creepy.

 

[Koloth]

Being "in love" would be considered a passion. It could lead to the person not seeing certain things about the other that could be bad or wrong for them. I have seen people do very stupid things because they are "in love". In many cases it is one sided.

Loving somebody could mean that you care about the person. It does not have to be romantic. Usually a good marriage is based on a good friendship verses being in love with one another. Love based on passion usually does not work out. Of course, you are usually in love as well. But you are also great friends. You know the other's faults and accept them knowing your faults.

 

[Drakur]

It is, of course, a matter of semantics really. In other languages, there are many forms of love. For example, I love my wife. I love my best friend Steve. Different meanings of the word. My wife is a romantic love whereas my friend Steve is a friend's love. In love is a term many people use to distinguish romantic love from the rest. In reality, being in love is merely the state of loving someone.

 

[Bambi]

Yeah theres defo a difference, I know I loved my ex but I was not IN love with him.....I think it became a platonic love. Both feel different. When you're in love you just want to live and breath the other person, you never want to be apart. Someone that I love is someone I care very deeply for like someone I may have been with for a long time or a very good friend I guess...

 

[Fusilli]

Do you think there's a difference between loving and being in love with someone?


If there is a difference, what do you call that stage?

I'm guessing it's to do with hormones.
Like, you can love someone the way that I love you santa but I'm not IN love with you (sorry to disappoint ;D) because there are no hormones etc.
And then there is the kind of love that makes you want to scream it out and tell everyone, but I don't think that's love, just hormones making you go all crazy and obsessed.

I think there's only one type of love, when you truly would do anything for a person and trust them fully like I do with my friends, and then you can get love + hormones which is what most people call being IN love with someone..

If taht makes any sense?

 

[OmniscientOnus]

Not to sound like an asshole or anything, but...

Something is strange about the original question at hand. First you explain what the difference is (in your own opinion) between "loving someone" and being "IN love with someone" and then go on to ask if we believe there is a difference. What exactly are you asking here? Of course, by your own definitions, there is a difference, so why ask?

Unless of course you are referring to the grammatical differences... but I just don't see you as the kind of guy to post a thread like this and be implying that grammar is the issue at hand.

EDIT: Perhaps I should explain a little further...

A debate is started by presenting an issue, and then by defining the exact issue at hand as to remove any sort of misinterpretation of the original idea and to maximize on topic discussion. Therefore, when you defined the differences between being "IN love" and "loving someone", you were in fact just defining the premise of the debate in order to make everyone understand the core of the idea at hand. Then you finalized the issue by asking the specific question: Do YOU think there's a difference, with obvious emphasis on YOU (or else you are simply asking people if theres a difference between apples and oranges based on the definitions provided by Websters Dictionary).

Ultimately, you haven't really asked a viable question.

...I guess what I'm saying is: "Did you mean to write: 'How would you define the difference between "loving someone" and being "IN love with someone".'?".

 

[AngofWolf]

I feel love has more then one level.

You have the level of deep love and compassion. Love that you would throw your life away to protect someone even though they bear no blood of your own and they are not the one you sleep with at night. This kind of love is much like unconditional love for family, but more intense and given for reasons that sometimes we do not understand. It is this love that you, in theory, should have for those closest to you (your wife or maybe friends that are so close they are like your brother or sister.)

Of course there are other levels of love. One is where you simply always find yourself smiling, always happy to see that one someone. Generally I find this seems to be the kind of love you have for some really close friend(s). With this as the definition I cacn confidently say I love my friends, all which are males like me.

When people say they are in love with someone is seems more immature then both of these. It seems to be on the level of a high school crush really. But keep in mind I don't say I love someone, even to my family, if I do not feel the love at the moment I need to decide if I should say it.

Im sure there are more types of love, but it is such a hard thing to sort out I am still struggling with it. At the moment I seem to love a girl, my girlfriend in fact. I find myself confident in marrying her one day and I am always happy to see her, sad when away from her. I find myself doing things to see her and protect her that I do not normally do and I don't know why. Yet doubt seems to creep into my mind and heart. This is the love I am trying to decipher now. Perhaps there is not anything to decipher though, perhaps my doubt is just my mind thinking too much.

Sorry went a bit off topic there, but I am going to leave it mainly because it illistrates that even if someone is in love, they can still doubt it.

 

[Das Ende]

Falling in love, I believe, is a biological reaction produced by the brain which generates the tools known as emotion to motivate the procreation of our race.

We perceive it as something, usually the general and popular definition of love itself as we know it, but it serves one purpose only. As most emotions do, they make you feel one thing, but the reason for this is to accomplish something necessary to our survival, which we are not aware of at all. Anger destroys fear. Shame create lies and delusions, a justification of the self. Falling in love works in the same way.
Ever notice how relationships often seem to have more trouble and negative aspects then they should? Divorces, or folks living together in the name of love but for the sake of convenience. Truth is, most relationships never work out too long, and certainly not in the fantastical allure our definition gives them.

As we live in ''packs'' so to speak, loving a family member or friend is done out of familiarity-a sort of bond forging one another together. Think of the many reasons why people have friends and family, then think what would happen if you were always alone.

I strongly believe that we are a part of the animal kingdom, and so work in much the same ways, so to speak.