My game ideas

Blue Link

Blue Link

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i'm bored, so i decided to post my ideas for an rpg i plan to make someday. heres a summary:

This story takes place in a world similar to ours. Buildings scrape the skies and technology is advanced. Though the people happily live their lives, they are unaware of an even powerful source, more powerful than anyone can comprehend...

Mana...


So this is what I have so far. Not much...but how is it so far?
 
no offence or anything, but that is nothing.
there's no characters or plot
it needs those things if its to be called a summary
 
that was just a summary. Here's the opening scene I thought of:

The city bustles with activity as the Fesival of Life begins. The people are having fun, playing games and enjoying the festivities. Elsewhere...

On the rooftops of the business district, a mysterious portal opens. Out of the portal steps a man wearing a mask. At the snap of a finger, two dark figures rise from the darkness. "Find her...", he says, and the figures jump off the building and run towards the festival.
 
*moved to Books and Literature*

Seems more like a WIP of a story to me, so I'm gonna place it here.

to be honest so far, it kind of sounds like a farce of the Tales series and Kingdom Hearts, with the dark figures with the snapping of the fingers, and mana.

But I really think you should start writing quite a bit more before asking any opinions on it, or everyone is going to notice every single thing you get inspiration from along the way of writing it, and call it a rip-off. Of course, all of it will seem like a ripoff at first, but that's what revamping is for. If you rewrite something enough times and change the flow and how things work, it will eventually work itself into something that can be seen as your own work.

You've got a ways to go, keep at it.
 
"Llayn! Llayn!? Where are you!?" A young woman cries, searching for her boyfriend. At last her search ends.
"Llayn! There you are!" Llayn, a young who doesn't seem interested in the girl, was standing at a game attraction. He manages to win a stuffed bear. "Wow! You won me a bear!?""Yeah, I guess...", Llayn answers. The girl takes the bear and grabs Llayn's arm.
They walk away from the attraction, but then hear screams coming from the crowd.
"Stay here." Llayn says to the girl, running toward the screams.

I wasn't really finished. I'm using my PSP, so I can't post a long posts. So...sometimes you'll post while I'm trying to double post. Screwed up huh? Anyway, I'll just continue posting until I'm done. Now, I'll explain my motives for my story.

The dark figures are not like heartless, but more like demons. The man in the mask made a pact with the Devil (so to speak) and was given the command of his legion (at a price).

I'll continue the opening...


But after only taking a few steps, a scream is heard.
"Aaahhh! Llayn!", the girl yells as she is carried away by a demon. Llayn runs after the demon.

*at this point in the "game", you take control over Llayn and chase the demon*

Llayn manages to catch up to the demon. The man in the mask is holding a passed out girl.
"Let go of her!" Llayn yells.
"I cannot..." the man replies. "She is most dear to me...my Cilia..."
"What are you talking about!?"
The man opens a portal and begins to walk in.
"Hey, stop!

Llayn runs toward the man, but gets blocked by a demon.
"Take care of this..." the man said to the demon. "Don't keep me waiting." He steps through the portal.

*boss fight with demon*

Exhausted, Llayn drops to the ground as the portal closes. The demon retreats to the portal. Determined to save the girl, Llayn manages to get up and run to the portal and with the last of his energy, he says her name..."Alfea..."
 
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S said:
This story takes place in a world similar to ours. Buildings scrape the skies and technology is advanced. Though the people happily live their lives, they are unaware of an even powerful source, more powerful than anyone can comprehend...

Mana...
Click to expand...

That's really cliche, dude. haha

But hey, it's worked in the past, so stick with it.
 
I saw that someone replied to this and I said 'oh shit' :D

the idea of a source of power that gives life always resonated with me. Sure, it's cliche, but so is using a compilation of myths for a story. and you might have guessed but this is a love story. I have another idea for a game but I'll post it another time.

oh, and is Llayn a stupid name? someone told me it was
 
Just my input on this:

Whenever you are planning a story, it's much more important to have characters in mind, rather than scenes.

If you come up against a block or an issue, it's much easier to work around if you just use a "what if?" scenario with your well developed character.

If you are using a movie format, and that happens, then you end up with a bunch of filler between your next big "scene" which just ruins the whole experience.

My advice would be forget about overblown plots etc at this point. It's characters that engage people, not mana or portals :)

(Well, unless steam make the game :D)
 
nice to get helpful critism (VoN and Decado) I have another idea I think might flow better. I ask you not to post until I finish(explaination why in post #5):

~Plot~

This game takes place two years after the war between the Kingdoms of Lenore and Velisz. The princess Lenore and the Prince Velisz have been staged to marry to ensure lasting peace between the two Kingdoms.

Aleshia, the desert capitol of Lenore, lies in the heart of the Kingdom. The citizens happily go about their lives in peace.


Among the many citizens is a young man named Llayn, who works with his father, Doren at a sand glider repair shop. One day Doren sends Llayn out to the desert to retrieve spare parts. Llayn manages to retrieve the parts but as he enters the city, his sachel is pickpocketed by a child. He chases the child down to find him in the sewers only to discover that there is a monster there. Llayn tries to protect the child when a mysterious woman appears to fight the monster off.

The child manages to flee while Llayn and the woman fight the monster. With little effort, they manage to slay the monster. The woman tells Llayn that her name is Alfea but tells no more except that she was leaving town. They part ways and Llayn returns to the shop.

(I feel as if I'm rambling, so I'll skip to all the characters.)

As the game progresses, the woman is revealed to be the princess, Alfea DeLaren Lenore.


On your journey you will recruit Claude Dylson, Alfea's royal guard, and Deane Erricks, a thief locked away in the castle prison of Aleshia. More characters to come, but I originally only wanted four characters.

The battles will use a system that allows multiple combos to be executed. Combos are gained as the character becomes more skilled at certain weapons (swords, knives, etc.)

Mini games will include sandglider races and a fighting genre type game(no name yet). More mini-games to come.

~finished~
 
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sounds a lot like XII with the whole princess thing.

decado is right though, characters with a lot of depth are infinitley better than those without, also its much easier to write if you already have their personalities sorted out, it means characters can interact better and makes writing the plot and the filler easier.
 
S said:
that was just a summary. Here's the opening scene I thought of:

The city bustles with activity as the Fesival of Life begins. The people are having fun, playing games and enjoying the festivities. Elsewhere...

On the rooftops of the business district, a mysterious portal opens. Out of the portal steps a man wearing a mask. At the snap of a finger, two dark figures rise from the darkness. "Find her...", he says, and the figures jump off the building and run towards the festival.
Click to expand...
FFIX, much?

Reading through it all it looks to me like you're just taking bits of several stories and games and putting them together with a little bit of originality.
 
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