Serious See what wondering about the past will do?

Æon Flux

Æon Flux

I dont discriminate I hate everyone equally
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Lordy I pressed the back button so all my tirade vanished
I think this is the place to post this....

So long and short

I got into contact with a person from my old school days...Like OLD school days ...because at the time we moved alot so I was never in one school for long and these particular peoples names I rememberd because that was the one school I spent a few years at
At first when we where talking he mentiond he was coming back to "our" town and would like a visit with me...
At first I was happy to do so out of my younger selfs fondness for him...we where friends because we where both poor^^...and naturally poor people bond well.

So after a few e-mails and IM's catching up I realise...
He
A) Blames EVERY life woe of his on his "co-dependency" issues..This is in litteraly every IM and email
B) Blames his ex-wife for everything as well. He cheated on her (to wich I told him he deserved everything she gets him for I am still me after all)
But apparently he cant help bitching about her to me and quite honestly im on her side...dont get married if you want your cake and to eat it to....my opinion and thats what I say to him anyways yet he goes on and on like im not defending her and if he does pay attention he then blames his actions on "co-dependency"!

So I eventualy stop replying and let it try and wither away....

To no avail...So the other day he IM's me his number and starts telling me when hes going to be back,today apparently, and when are we going to get togeather...
Honestly I dont want to get togeather but for some un-named reason,probably because in the begining I said I would and I normaly hold true to my promises, I will go....

Here is a bit of our convo from yeasterday in IM...

Me: Happy to be coming back to your homeland?
Him: well not sure if I told you but the bitch finally served me the papers so yes I am thrilled lol
Me: So you both can go on with your lives peacfully thne...
Him: looking forward to it and the bitch can do the same
Me: Bitter much....
Him: we are still getting togeather right?
Me: Ugh yeah I just have to find time between my 3 jobs
Him: you will make time for me (im more than worth it)
Me: We can go for coffee...
Him: you dont drink right?
Me: Nope
Him: you can always babysit me, but then again I don't drink to much either (these days
Me: I dont babysit drunks.
Him: which is exactly why I don't drink much anymore
Me: I like Barnes and Noble and they have a starbucks there...
Him: Well I like coffee and books too, but I also like to see what one of my oldest friends has been up to for the last friggen 18 years
And that cant be done at a coffee place?
He apparently cant add either its only been like 15 years :hmph:
And in earlier emails we did go on about our younger days and growin up and such anyhooo
I ended the convo by saying I was going to bed...

Mind you I havent emaild or talked to him in an IM in months.... and quite honestly I have no idea if im actually over reading into things or not I just dont feel comfortable beeing alone with him as im sure I will become pissy-Bianca at his venting about his wife and his "co-dependency" crap...

I do have friends who say they would come with me...but im jut not wanting to do this at all....
I...have no clue what to do....Perhaps im just making a big deal out of nothing?
Ugh
 
He sounds like a vile creep.
I would block all contact from him.
Complete block out and change any info you may of given him about yourself.
Which is hopefully nothing.
 
Trust your gut. If your instinct tells you that it's a bad idea, it's probably a bad idea. This guy does sound like a bit of a creeper, so I don't think you're overreacting at all. Better safe than sorry.
 
CassinoChips said:
Better safe than sorry.
Click to expand...


Exactamundo.

I'd do whatever you think feels right.

I don't think your over reading things. If you don't feel comfortable around him then that's how you feel. I'm sure that if you stopped talking to him and you feel better, then that was probably the best thing for you. I mean, he.. does sound like CC said a creeper.

I mean, maybe meet up with him? (or did you?) If it doesn't/didn't go well, then maybe i'd stop completely talking to him. (I know you said that you stopped emailing etc but, you didn't mention whether you blocked him or not.)
its up ta ya.
 
Sounds like the dude puts the blame on other folks, I'd just watch out. Though don't take my suggestion, just feel it out. I will only advise one thing, take it slow.

Tis all I got in me tonight.
 
I honestly don't see the problem here. I agree with you on the part about it being wrong for him to cheat on her, but we don't know their history or why any of it happened.

Sure the guy has his issues, but who doesn't? This obviously affected him greatly, and he's just dealing with it, even if he's dealing with it in a little blunty. So? That's how a lot of guys are. Doesn't mean anything though.

I don't see how he's a "creep", as the second post called him.

I don't see the problem in at least meeting up with him. Worry about the future when it comes, and if he starts treating you purely as a friend then, you can drop him whenever you want.
 
If you feel uncomfortable around him when he's IMing you, wouldn't it stand to reason you'd feel uncomfortable while he's physically around you? This guy is nothing but trouble, mark my words. Any man who is so verbablly nasty and pushy just on IM/email will be a real meance to deal with IRL. There are tons of people out there you can be friends with--don't make the mistake of thinking that he's just "having a bad day". If all your communications have the word bitch somewhere in them, that's a really bad sign.

Cut your losses, and your communication, IMO. Now.
 
I feel I should meet him simply do to the fact he gives me a "stalkerish" feeling so to prevent him from waiting by house or apearing at one of my jobs I might as well meet him in a very public place with someone whom will be able to keep things in check and civil...
I remember when he was younger and what a bad life he had so I do feel bad for not wanting to see him but honestly I wont realy know how he is till I get it over with.....

Besides his obvious issues I also get the impression he thinks of me in terms of his first "love" and im honestly not willing to encourage that by being alone with him....But with a friend today we worked out a grand plan and in lieu of me keeping my presence arround when her ex is here this summer shes going to assist me with her presence with my old friend....
 
I think with the lack of any real contact (even by IM as well) with him, I would feel him out first. And since you said he didn't seem like someone you wanted to meet up with, then it's a pretty simple solution, don't bother meeting with him. Getting wrapped up with an asshole like that will just be a handful really. Especially if he's forcing his way in like he is. I'd say he has bad intentions. :hmmm:

Last year I had a rendezvous with an old flame, and it didn't work out well at all. This time around it didn't end in a bitter way, but it was very tense, and I couldn't help to think about the past and what happened, way too much. I'm aware that this guy isn't an old flame, but the point I make is that the past doesn't change people completely. So if he had this tendencies in the past, chances are they never went away. But his bitterness about his ex-wife seems to have an overbearing on his train of thought. I would say his bitterness towards his ex-wife is a result of him getting served from her. He's putting up a bold front, but he isn't fooling me. But either way, I say stay away. :mokken: (that rhymed)
 
Ether said:
I feel I should meet him simply do to the fact he gives me a "stalkerish" feeling so to prevent him from waiting by house or apearing at one of my jobs I might as well meet him in a very public place with someone whom will be able to keep things in check and civil...
I remember when he was younger and what a bad life he had so I do feel bad for not wanting to see him but honestly I wont realy know how he is till I get it over with.....
Click to expand...

I don't follow that logic. That bear looks dangerous, so instead of staying away, I'll go ahead and poke it with a stick? I don't know. Pity doesn't seem like good enough motivation to meet this cat. I'd stay away.
 
For now im just avoiding contact.....unless I have no other alternative...
The main problem Is his home right now is between two of my jobs...It will be hard to avoid him under these cercumstances....and the shithole bar he hangs out at is litterally two blocks from my home....At some point there will be contact and dear lord i'd rather just get it over with than have him bitch at me if we accidentaly bump into each other,and trust me he's the type who'd go on about why I was avoiding his e-mails,IM's ect....Thats the logic behind that
 
it sucks when they live close. keep your friend close by and be wary. if he does anything suspicious take note and make your leave. don't go to a place that's too crowded, large crowds means people will take less notice of you if you seek help. also, bring pepper spray and any self-defense items you may have and put them in an easily accessible and concealed place. if he wants to go to your house, refuse and make up an excuse, though i don't think i need to tell you that :)

be safe, get this bastard out of your hair.
 
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