Shiroi Kiyoshi - The white silent kid.

EternalChaos

EternalChaos

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Joined
Nov 15, 2008
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Age
34
Location
Umm me? On my bed?
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Name - Shiroi Kiyoshi - The white silent kid

Race - Human

Gender - Male

Appearance - He has 175 cm of height and 68 kilograms of weight. He is usually wearing an armor, black and red armor, which has 5 bags and 1 sword-bag on his back. He has shoulder pads on both of his shoulder too, used to protect his shoulder of course. And yet, he wears a crimson wol scarf around his neck. He has titanium shoes and a sharp edges attached on it. It helps him running like wild-mad-crazy person. So, he is a speed type character. He has white hair, and yes. It equals his name. Shiroi (White). His eyes are red-coloured.

Attire -

Personality - White personality. As you can see, white represent many different colours: me,ji,ku,hi,bi,ni,u. And, as you can see, colours represent personality. Yes, He has different optional personality. There is time for him to mad, to sad, serious and many more. In fact of his personalities, he is friendly, to almost ALL people in his hometown. But, when he go mad, super mad.. There is a chance for him to change his personality into bloodthirsty who likes to kill.

Equipment -

Weaponry (optional) - Karite Spinalcut

Armour (optional) - Karite Riryoku Armour

Fighting Style - He uses sword combo to the enemy.

Abilities -
* Quick Hit
--> Using his scythe shaped sword, Shiroi attack his enemy. This is not an ordinary slash. He could attack his enemy twice with this ability.
* Delay Buster
--> Makes the enemy unable to attack for 1 turn.

Magic -
* Wht Magic
--> Haste
----> Doubles your agility / speed.
--> Slow
----> Reduce your opponents` speed by half.

History - [lateer...]
 
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I'm not a moderator or anything but if i had to give you a few pointers that might help you when it comes to Blair checking out your profile... for one you are missing alot of the criteria and without everything that is nessecary then chances are you won't be accepted... You personality doesn't make alot of sense except i can understand the relation between color and emotions and if you want to be technical white is the absense of all colors therefor maybe you character should be absent of emotions hense have no emotions...

You should probly put more detail into your appearance as well like not only describing color and what the article is made out of but use originallity and describe the details of it

I hope i helped and once Tony gets back from his absence im sure if you have followed my advice he will probly except you ><
 
Wow chill guy... No need to go OOC when we arn't even in character and correct my spelling >< I didn't see the subtitle so i didn't know the it was NOT finished, all i did was try and give you help, and it seems your getting a little offense...

But seems how i can't really tell tone over a post then idk for sure if you were so... I will give you commentary when your finished. Your Welcome :D
 
Lol your funny you know that... Well for starters i would say a description of what your armor and weapons do and look like would be a good thing and also haste and slow arn't white magic they are red magic... Just to let you know >< I'l stop with my commentary because i don't want to aggrivate you in any sort of way :p
 
Yo, Bastion no need to do my job for me -__- lol

First of all: Could you please put a description with your weaponry and armour, not many of us would know what those are so a description of what they look like would be needed.

Secondly: Could you please make your fighting style more detailed, tell us how you would react to certain attacks, air combat etc.

And last of all: Your magic. It it highly looked down upon to use magic taken from games like final fantasy, we prefer our RPers to be more creative with their magic rather than ripping off Final Fantasy X . Also that goes for your abilities as well. :)

Finish up the rest of it and send up a PM and I'll give it another check :D
 
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