Telemarketers

der Astronom

der Astronom

Is a bigot for agreeing with Jim
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So we all know and hate it when they call and have something to sell you or ask you of that you neither care for nor want. So, how do you deal with them? Do you hang up on them, say some nasty things to them, pretend to be interested and then flatly decline them or what?

I've recently experimented on them by speaking to them in foreign languages.

It usually starts like this:

Me: Hallo.
Telemarketer: Hello, [insert typical introductory nonsense about some product or survey].
Me: Was? Wir ist das?
Telemarketer: I'm sorry?
Me: Ich verstande nicht.
Telemarketer: what?
Me: Ich verstande nicht. Im Deutsche sprachen bitte.
Telemarketer: Oh, okay. Have a good day. (they hang up)

Sometimes, they might ask if there's someone in the house who speaks English, or repeat what they say and finally get that you don't speak English. I once had a guy say he wasn't trying to sell me something after he didn't get what I said, but it turned out he was. And another time, this lady repeated the "Deutsche" part because she didn't know what I was saying, and so I repeated "Deutsche", and she asked if I spoke English, so I said "Was ist Englische?" And then at that point, she simply said good-bye and hung up. I admit I had a good laugh. Of course, if someone there happens to speak German, I could always switch to Latin or Chinese, particularly the former, considering the only people that speak in Latin now would be those in the Vatican.

Your stories?

(Feel free to correct my German grammar. I doubt they would have known the difference anyways.)
 
This almost gives me incentive to bother studying a foreign language, but not quite. I've always wanted to be an obnoxious cunt insulting people to their face and leaving them clueless as to what I'm saying.

I usually just lead the telemarketers on. It's satisfying to make them feel like they're actually going to get a customer, and then just hang up on them or tell them I don't want their crap and crush their hopes. Although sometimes I like to pretend I'm retarded and talk like I have down syndrome.
 
Ahh.... telemarketers.

There's nothing like strumming the guitar like crazy with the distortion on your amp and volume being cranked up to a significant measure and being blasted into your ears over a phone. I swear, it's the best way to piss anyone off over the phone. :wacky:

This tactic is not only used for telemarketers, but for people who won't stop calling me as well. :neomon:
 
The head office of Virgin Media is just outside the town I live and are now the biggest employer in the town so a good amount of my friends work there (or Vodaphone, another nearby call centre). I hear alot of story's about how customers treat them on the phone....so naturally I take notes for the next time some stupid foreign prick rings up asking if I want so and so even though we told the company hundreds of times NO.

Personal favorite is the whistle. They'll hang up before you do and hopefully in pain.

Or if its a woman, say she has a really pretty voice and then start making it seem like your wanking over the phone. Not only does it freak them out but depending on how well they 'deal with the situation' they may get good marks in their next assessment so its not all bad for them.
 
ahhh, I love telemarketers and their Indian accents :wacky:

hmmm, I have many good memories of these dear old people, like, once I got to give me their Mobile phone number, and another one I convinced him that I lived in a fridge :elmo:

but, if I'm in a right pissy mood, I'll usually insult them and be as rude as possible.

but, for some reason, they've stopped calling me, maybe they no like me anymore :wacky:
 
Darkstar said:
ahhh, I love telemarketers and their Indian accents :wacky:
Click to expand...

Are you sure you're not talking about technical support? I've never gotten a call from a telemarketer that was an indian tbqh. :wacky:
 
L said:
Are you sure you're not talking about technical support? I've never gotten a call from a telemarketer that was an indian tbqh. :wacky:
Click to expand...

Every call we ever received from telemarketers was from an Indian person, my Dad would start mocking them before hanging up >< We blocked 0800 numbers or something, because now we never receive any telemarketing calls.

I just hang up when they phone, they're so damn annoying that I really can't be chewed with them.
 
I don't bother answering the phone if it's a telemarketer. Sure, it would be fun to mess with them but I'm generally not good with phones and whatever I did would most likely backfire and it would end up them messing with me. >_>
 
Oh I sooo wishI could speak a foreign language

I always get the people I bought my tv off ringing me, at the time I bought it I had a different mobile number and it used to irritate the hell out of me then they would call and ask me if I wanted a loan for whatever reason

When I eventually changed my number they stopped harrassing me for a while, but ythey had my mums house number for some reason so they silly cow gave them my new mobile number. She got some abuse :stare:

My landline is ex directory, so luckily I do't get them for that. That woud really piss me off and Im too polite to actually tell them to piss off......*sigh*
 
Hahaha.
That'd be hilarious to try. However, we rarely ever get any telemarketing calls. Ex-directory.
Some do slip through, and I act retarded, or scary or something. :neomon:
Prank calling is good for a few kicks as well.

Also, I picked up pretty much all of the German you typed.

E.g. "Ich verstande nicht"= I don't understand.

"Im Deutsche sprachen bitte"= Speak in German please.
 
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I'm generally quite obnoxious [surprise, right?] to telemarketers, though only if they're pushy despite you having said you're not in need of anything they're offering. Usually entails raised voices, aggressive wording and a "stop calling me" at the end. No interesting stories about these encounters though.

But Angelus... I laughed. xD
 
Darkstar said:
and another one I convinced him that I lived in a fridge :elmo:
Click to expand...

Truly epic :neomon:

L said:
Are you sure you're not talking about technical support? I've never gotten a call from a telemarketer that was an indian tbqh. :wacky:
Click to expand...

Serious? Practically all the telemarketers that call my house are Indian or Mexican, so either way you can't understand them. I think next time a Mexican one calls I'll just say "te quiero puta" in the phone with a deep, breathy voice.
 
Prince Vegeta said:
Serious? Practically all the telemarketers that call my house are Indian or Mexican, so either way you can't understand them. I think next time a Mexican one calls I'll just say "te quiero puta" in the phone with a deep, breathy voice.
Click to expand...

for serious.

All the telemarketers we've ever gotten were american. The only time I've ever talked to indians over the phone was tech support for shit. which, y'know, they suck ass at helping you with. They're basically payed their less than minimum wage to sound like funny bastards that know nothing.:wacky:

but I've never once gotten an indian telemarketer tbqh. -__-

also, lul@that last bit.
 
Maybe your state is just lucky and isn't infested with them, then :neomon:

Sadly, it's gonna be a wait till we get a call from a telemarketer...they don't call here too much, it sucks. Maybe they got tired of being messed with. Now it's just my mom's annoying friends who call during dinner -__-
 
I don't really say anything to them when they call. I breathe extremely heavily into the phone...as if I'm completely out of breath.

That usually gets them to shut up pretty fast. After asking if you're okay, they usually hang up.

Poor guys. They're just doin' their jobs. Being pestered isn't fun, though...
 
Ah, telemarketers. I actually look forward to them calling!! I'm so evil to them *grins evilly*

One thing that makes it VERY awkward for them is if you keep adding "According to the prophecy" to everything you say. It kinda goes like this:

Tele: Are you tired of your old blender constantly bogging down?
Me: According to the prophecy... no.

or

Tele: What state do you live in?
Me: According to the prophecy... Michigan.

Yeah. It gets kinda wierd after a while. The first time I did it, it went on for almost 10 minutes then the guy just didn't say anything after I answered and he hung up.

But the best one EVER is to pretend your mafia. Oh yeah. My brother did this one. This is how it went.

Tele: hello--
Bro (in thick Italian accent): This is Giovanni. Do you have ze package?
Tele:.......*click*

The guy actually hung up!! HE HUNG UP!!! He decided, Nope! not gonna get involved in that one! And all you have to do is imitate an Italian accent and not laugh your ass off.

It was very amusing.

There's more, but I'll post it later. ;D
 
^ I've got those! Your phone will ring, and suddenly start giving this automated message, sometimes not even at the beginning!

Most of the time we just ignore them, because whenever they ring, the number comes up as International on our phones, and we don't bother picking the phone up!
 
Darkstar said:
actually, 90% of telemarketers down here in Aussie are Indian:neomon:
Click to expand...

Yeah.

I always hang up. My mum always orders these phones and signs up for all these compertitions and stuff so annoying >_<. I say Hello then as soon as i hear that voice i'm just like...*hang up*.
 
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