Ultimia Ultimite

[MatterSplatterMan]

Intended for ORPG
Name: Ultimia Halushifikla Ultimite CXLVII
Title: Not Your Average Hero
Race: Half-Dragon
Gender: Female
Age: 182.39 Dragon Turns (20 Earth Years ...and a half)
Appearance: White Dragon, pretty much looking like Feral Chaos, except white, much smaller, and not as scaly.
Attire: Black Cloak, black pants, blue balaclava.
Armor: Doesn't wear any, chooses not to (can't afford)
Personality: Incredibly sarcastic, happy-go-lucky, slightly gullible, but can be incredibly serious, and when she is, she means it, even threatening to KILL anyone who gets in her way.
Strength: Arm strength is comparable to a rhesus monkey (not that great), but can kick a metal wall down in one blow. Despite this, she chooses not to use physical strength.
(numerical values for clarification)
Arm Damage: 27
Leg Damage: 439
Vitality: Can survive a decent amount of damage, but nothing too spectacular.

Will continue later, posting this before retiring for the night.

 

[The Welsh Paddy]

There doesn't seem to be any active RP mods 'round here nowadays, so I'm gonna go ahead and give some feedback. To welcome people into the fold, as it were.

I understand that this bio is yet to be finished, but I would like to make a few suggestions.

1. Section everything out and bold/underline the different headings. For example;

Name: Ultimia Halushifikla Ultimite CXLVII
Title: Not Your Average Hero

Race: Half-Dragon
Gender: Female
Age: 182.39 Dragon Turns (20 Earth Years ...and a half)

Appearance: White Dragon, pretty much looking like Feral Chaos, except white, much smaller, and not as scaly.

and so forth. It makes everything a lot easier to read.

2. Describing appearance. Before doing a search on Google, I didn't even know who Feral Chaos was, and I'm sure there are others in the same boat. I personally prefer sticking to words, but if you feel a character reference from another game, tv show, film, etc. would help you put the message across, then an image would help. You can simply apply the image URL inbetween the

tags. If it is a large image, I would also suggest using the tags. That way the image will be tucked away nicely in a little tab, which can be clicked open should the user wish to look at the image.

3. Statistics. I don't see how numbered statistics would come into play in an ORPG unless it is running along the lines of something like Dungeons and Dragons, or World of Darkness. If that is the case, then by all means keep them. If not, are they really necessary unless you wish to use the character for some type of RPB?

4. In General. This is probably a bit irrelevant coming from me right now as you have stated this bio is incomplete. However, I would like to say a few things. Detail can be very important, but you need to discover which details are relevant and which details aren't. One example is the section you wrote down for armour, stating that she doesn't wear any. I personally would have just left that section out and only left what was described under 'Attire'. When signing up for an ORPG, most people (I'm only speaking for those I have RP'd with in the past.) only look through what is relevant, and don't often have the time to go over every little detail. I mean, that sort of thing can easilly be ellaborate on in an ORPG.

Although, there are some areas were more detail would be welcome. Like her attire, her personality and her vitality. Further detail on her strength wouldn't go amiss either. It's all well and good being able to kick down a metal wall, but what sort of metal? And how thick?

Having said all this, I would like to say I'm interested to see the rest of this bio. Especially her history. And also...

Welcome to Final Fantasy Forums!

 

[Ness]

I'd just like to provide a bit of guidance in regards to this point:

3. Statistics. I don't see how numbered statistics would come into play in an ORPG unless it is running along the lines of something like Dungeons and Dragons, or World of Darkness. If that is the case, then by all means keep them. If not, are they really necessary unless you wish to use the character for some type of RPB?

When describing strength, speed, magic power, etc.; we normally like for there to be some frame of reference. It's normally insufficient to just say "so-and-so is very strong" or "so-and-so is fast" because those terms are relative and difficult to interpret in an RPB setting. The key is to compare strength/speed/endurance to something tangible. Your effort to quantify strength is actually okay, but the numbers are difficult to quantify since there is no maximum. Is Arm Damage 27/100? 27/1000? You notice how those are completely different? You are free to determine your own "maximum", but just make sure you provide enough information so that others reading your bio have no questions about the limitations of your character.

Hope that helps.