Agree to disagree

Catnip

Catnip

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I'm just going to start with an example and write off that.

Abortion
I'm pro-choice, but I respect those who are pro-life.

Now, what I don't understand is why people feel the absolute need to argue about it in a disrespectful and immature manner. I assume it's in hopes of changing the other person's mind on the subject, but it's one thing to discuss and another to disagree -as already said- disrespectfully and immaturely. However, in my opinion, there are exceptions to fight for what you believe in. -Gay marriage would be an excellent example.

I'm not saying it's wrong to disagree, I just think people should respect other people's opinions.

How do you feel when someone feels the need to speak up against someone else's opinion on something such as Abortion etc. ?
 
This is really petty compared to a subject such an abortion but the FFVII remake topic for example. I recently posted that I'd rather not see an FFVII remake and got attacked by a couple of people because I didn't agree with them. Now, hey I agree to disagree that they're huge fans and might want to see a remake but I on the other hand don't. So truthfully, I don't understand why people like to attack or argue with others that don't agree with them. Maybe it makes them feel like they're somebody or they just simply love to argue and debate. Who knows? I don't like it, I don't enjoy it. When I post my opinion, it's just simply that. My opinion. I accept that others have a different opinion than me, and I'm certainly not going to attack them for it either. How does it make me feel when people feel the need to argue with me because I don't agree with them? It makes me bloody irritated, but I typically just walk away from it and don't look back.
 
I agree with you Keely, it's really hard to have a civil debate sometimes. These days, those 2 words don't even belong in the same sentence. Basically the debates that make for the most negativity are the ones that really have a split opinion about them. Things like abortion, politics, health care, etc are pretty much always 50/50 splits in the big picture. This prompts those that support 1 side to fight it to death to get others to agree with them to sway that 50/50 into their favor.

I admit that I myself can get very passionate about a topic and almost make a point to "force" my opinion on people. But the sad reality of it all is, no matter how much you try to convince someone that your opinion is the prefered way to go, you'll never change their mind on the matter. If you read the abortion debate on this forum, you'll see that people will press very hard to make the people that disagree with them to see and understand their point-of-view. When the day is all said and done, did any of those people change from pro-choice to pro-life or vice versa? During election time, do the constant advertisements, campaigns and conventions sway voters? Very few people will change, but realistically not enough to make a difference (lol, and they spend a lot of money campaigning).

I do enjoy debating, and post in these debate threads a lot. But debates will always get out of hand, especially with some people. I prefer to keep a debate civil, but it's awfully difficult to get your point across without someone blowing up at you because your view is different. When a debate tends to get out of hand, I refuse to post further because it isn't worth my time to upset others and myself over something that ultimately won't change anyones thoughts.
 
My usual acts in an argument are to "agree to disagree". I'm not one for arguments, and I know I can't change people's opinions, and nor do I want to. I like to voice mine. I'm sure everyone does. However, I will always say it's my opinion beforehand, simply because, as I said, I dislike arguing. :P

I will, however, give full hearing to the other person's opinion and depending on how I agree with it, mine may change... I'm not a very stubborn person. xDD
 
blakstang98 said:
I agree with you Keely, it's really hard to have a civil debate sometimes. These days, those 2 words don't even belong in the same sentence. Basically the debates that make for the most negativity are the ones that really have a split opinion about them. Things like abortion, politics, health care, etc are pretty much always 50/50 splits in the big picture. This prompts those that support 1 side to fight it to death to get others to agree with them to sway that 50/50 into their favor.

I admit that I myself can get very passionate about a topic and almost make a point to "force" my opinion on people. But the sad reality of it all is, no matter how much you try to convince someone that your opinion is the prefered way to go, you'll never change their mind on the matter. If you read the abortion debate on this forum, you'll see that people will press very hard to make the people that disagree with them to see and understand their point-of-view. When the day is all said and done, did any of those people change from pro-choice to pro-life or vice versa? During election time, do the constant advertisements, campaigns and conventions sway voters? Very few people will change, but realistically not enough to make a difference (lol, and they spend a lot of money campaigning).

I do enjoy debating, and post in these debate threads a lot. But debates will always get out of hand, especially with some people. I prefer to keep a debate civil, but it's awfully difficult to get your point across without someone blowing up at you because your view is different. When a debate tends to get out of hand, I refuse to post further because it isn't worth my time to upset others and myself over something that ultimately won't change anyones thoughts.
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Well said.
Another thing is when people's opinions are simply bashing another. Those are the ones who don't bother to get their point across or even put in the effort.

I stopped arguing over certain things where opinions should be respected. Just the other day a friend of mine was telling me how abortion is wrong etc., and I just nodded my head to acknowledge that I was listening. She asked me if I felt the same and I simply said, 'no, actually I disagree with you. But that was your opinion and I respect that'. After that? We moved on and played Game Cube.
 
Well the respect thing is sort of thrown out the window down here in Mississippi. Personally if you have an opinion you are supposed to be a stubborn unwavering cod. Which quite frankely pisses me off.

I don't even talk politics, actually I'm so apathetic about politics because of trying to defend one side or another for so long, when I realized how retarded both parties were in the first place.

What really gets me in when people are know-it-alls. It gets right under my skin when I talk about something that I am attached too, and have something tell me my opinion is wrong or unethical or.. something along those lines. I think it's funny when people compare me to my paps too, and say.. "well he would have said different... that's kind of funny" - Hate to tell these people that I don't live in shadows, I live in front of my eyes.

I mean lets take sex for example, I can be extremely open with it with people I know, guys and girls alike. I don't get perverted.. I don't lead people astray I just state what I know. It makes me giggle to know people are so... "hush hush" about it.

Sports.. well I have to stand on one side of the fence rather than another, because it's just too hard to be a fan of everyone. It shows no competitiveness otherwise. I am not in your face, and disrespect your team.. but I will show some healthy trash talking.

Religion, I just don't talk about.
 
Coup de Grace said:
I stopped arguing over certain things where opinions should be respected. Just the other day a friend of mine was telling me how abortion is wrong etc., and I just nodded my head to acknowledge that I was listening. She asked me if I felt the same and I simply said, 'no, actually I disagree with you. But that was your opinion and I respect that'. After that? We moved on and played Game Cube.
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And because abortion is such a heated topic, mainly because it involves the life or lack thereof, this debate gets out of hand very quickly. People are always allowed to have opinions and are free to voice them. I'm the same as you, if I can sense it's a topic that will become heating, I make little effort to argue it and just let it flow by, as you did with your friends. No sense in getting yourself or someone else pissed off about opinion, best to take the high road. :ryan:

I'll say that I'm look Shu in the regards of never debating religion. It's something that can very much get people angry, and I'm just not for getting people angry.

Debating sports is fun, though when you live in New England, there is always bad blood somewhere (like Red Sox vs. Yankees). I stay civil about sports debates for the most part, but other fans can be very tough to deal with sometimes. What I generally come back with if a fan gets agitated about a debate is "it's only entertainment". It has no real impact in our lives other than personal enjoyment from spectating, so there isn't a reason to fight over it, it's not worth it.
 
I find that I run into these people a lot in my day.

Mostly people at work

All I have to say is something as simple as, "I like the Sushi that the Oriental joint make."

Then one girl in particular will go on and on about another Sushi place that is way better, and how stupid it is that I could like anything other than what she likes. 0_o

Some people just won't take other people's opinions on things into consideration.

I'm not one to argue either.

I just shrug it off and try not to let it bother me. The majority of these kinds of people will only see things how they want to, and just can't seem to process that someone else's opinions on something is different from their's. =/
 
Politics is the one that gets me - So many people are absolute wack jobs about it.

You're not a politician, you're not going to change anyone's mind with your sheepish rhetoric, and when it all boils down all you can do it vote and do what you think is right.

So just pour yourself a nice, tall glass of STFU and move on about your day.
 
What else is there to do but agree to disagree, anyway? Or so one might figure...

No matter how right one believes themselves to be, they won't change the other person's mind. Discussion is fine, but some of the more subtle psychological aspects of such matters always play a significant part in arguing.
It may be projection, the need to emotionally release something that which one is affected by...or just a lust for power. To be right, no matter what the subject is.

That nothing ever gets fixed and that people begin to dislike an individual for an opposite view tells me that the latter is where all my money's going. Generalization centers the people, not the cause.

Such occurrences may be observed by further analysis, like someone speaking out against abortion...it's pretty easy to tell someone that they're unholy and immoral when they're not the one to have to conceive a baby, and then take care of it.
Plenty of insubstantial business gets in the way when discussing and or arguing such iffy subjects, so much so that, half of the time, it pretty much deviates away from the subject and turns into a "my penis is bigger than yours" scheme.

For example, what bothers me about abortion is not whether one keeps the baby or not, but how other people in the environment see it fit to attempt and decide for the woman in question and her partner. They'll never have anything to do with the potential family or lack thereof, so why must they strive to condemn and disapprove?
Why are their feelings more important than the person contemplating abortion? Or the other way around...parents or grandparents disapproving of an incoming birth because they don't like the boyfriend or husband? What matters is that the woman loves him...uh, right?
To form an illusion that they're fixing their shitty pasts, to smooth over their regrets? Because God is the only thing which saves them from sucking off a handgun's barrel?
You can tell that a pro life individual is fulla shit when they wail and scream about murder, yet find the act of public breast feeding as bad as Hitler. The kinda people who require that a homeless man say please when begging for change, but always telling them to fuck off when they do say please.

The other side of the fence is just as bad. Pro choice folks going on about choices, freedom and all...it's funny how so many liberals are for abortion, but against the death penalty? Deciding upon themselves when life begins and when it should end, and whether or not consciousness and awareness has anything to do with it...like vegetarians eating eggs. That's chicken abortion, man.

It's pretty easy to be tolerant when you don't actually have to prove it beyond said claim.

Arguing and conflict is human nature though, and as such, we maintain ourselves emotionally through illusions, conviction and projection...that's why I think a lot of people can't agree to disagree unless they perceive to be losing the argument, since essentially, I doubt most people present any genuine concern or ideas for that which they champion-it's mostly about oneself, really.

Arguing is pretty complex. Like the sex thing in your signature; if we are able, as humans, to argue, it's probably because somewhere, somehow, there's a need for it.
 
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