Betrayal

Trust is a very touchy thing though. It's fragile and extremely strong simultaneously. I myself used to trust extremely easily/willingly - thought the best of people. It took someone to brutally take advantage of that when I realized I can't do such a thing. Depressing view as it is, people sure aren't the ideal "Innocents" you're taught to be - taking anything and bending it to your favour. That's human nature I guess - though in obvious varying degrees.

What pains me are those who, of course, have that high degree - and extremely high from what I've read both here and the revenge topic. I sympathize with and for you all. But we do have to remember that it makes us stronger and usually better people. If we hadn't experienced such things, we'd probably be very different people. Due to this experience, we've grown wiser to the ways of society, softer and more compassionate to those who uphold that trust and respect to you, harder in defense to protect yourself and the ones you love from being hurt. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger, as they say. It's just that moving on bit that's tricky.

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*smiles* Godspeed, don't give up mate. It's better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all, to have trusted and been betrayed than not to have trusted at all -- fill the verb in with whatever you wish. The world and ways of the world have a default negative spin - life, in my opinion anyway, is about learning to put a positive spin on it. You know, that weird saying about life giving you lemons, so make lemonade. Looking upon the world without at least some bitterness is a tough thing to do, as bitterness is found practically everywhere. But if you didn't give a damn, you're doomed to be stuck with lemons (continuing the crazy analogy here) no matter what, never knowing how sweet the lemonade might have been. So why not keep trying to make lemonade? You may amaze yourself with what you're capable of producing.

(Happy New Year, don't give up on that resolution :cool:)
 
around christmas, my girlfreind bought me a book of sudoku. it was nice, but i was planning to break up with her because she was too clingy. I decided to do it the next day and then she gave me more stuff. . .this went on for about a week until i finall decided to break it off.she bought me a 75 dollar bottle of cologne when i finally snapped and broke up with her. it felt like she was conning me into a relationship. am i evil?
 
sinspawn3 said:
around christmas, my girlfreind bought me a book of sudoku. it was nice, but i was planning to break up with her because she was too clingy. I decided to do it the next day and then she gave me more stuff. . .this went on for about a week until i finall decided to break it off.she bought me a 75 dollar bottle of cologne when i finally snapped and broke up with her. it felt like she was conning me into a relationship. am i evil?
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No, of course not. You feel one way, she feels another. Please define 'clingy' though, because it means a lot of different things to a wide range of people. If by clingy, you mean that she calls you every second of every day and wants to only hang out with you and nobody else and doesn't let you have alone time--then no, you are not evil, silly.

If, by clingy, you mean that she enjoys spending time with you and wants to be by your side, even if you are doing different things, and that she's comfortable just being in the same area as you, then I'd like to say that you have a strange definition of what a relationship--and being clingy--is.

Relationships take trust, a mutual attraction, friendship, respect, and they take effort. Effort means that you gotta take time out of your time to spend time together, with your significant other. Eventually, that time becomes together time in which you can be doing something totally different, be in the same area, but still feel a genuine love and connection with one another that lets you know that you don't have to be glued to the hip. It's something that takes time, sometimes it takes very little time, and sometimes a lot longer. Sometimes that comfortable-ness never comes, so that's when you know it's not right. I am rambling, I apologize. ;)


Betrayal. I've been betrayed once, and I stopped my relations with that person. I was young, naive, and stupid. I fell in love with someone who had total control over me, and let's just say that I was used. They were still my friend, and years later, an event happened that broke the camel's back, so to speak. We don't speak, it's been two years since I've actually really talked with this person. If I could murder them, I would, but that is why I separated myself from them...being hurt like that can bring out some really ugly feelings and thoughts. I realized with this event that I'm not a totally kind and docile person, and that I could kill for fun if I wanted to. Being betrayed opens your eyes, it's the final karate kick to your head that stops the hurt.
 
i have once been betrayed badly by my friends of school, i don't want to go deeper into it, but i do know what i did... i locked myself away from the world... from the people, what i shouldn't have, but i'm fine with it... perhaps i'll once gain trust again in people... later, as for now... no thanks, i don't want to go through the same again...

the only people i now trust are people on the internet, just for talking to, and i'm really fine with it...

perhaps this makes me look anti-social, and maybe i am, but well, what would you expect when backstabbed by your own friends?
 
Ahh, betrayal. I have been betrayed by my dad...well, he cheated on my mom with another older lady, whom he married 10 years ago. (My mom and dad never got married, but was planning to eventually). My mom was and is still in another country, but I remember I was only seven back then. He met that lady and my brother and I met her.

She was nice to us, bought us nice things, and we liked her. To me, it was like bribery. For some reason, I never thought that my dad was cheating on my mom. Never crossed my mind...I was so young and naive.

But as I grew up, I realized that there was something wrong in the picture. I was furious when I found out he married her only a couple months after they met because he got her pregnant. I found out about the marriage about a year later...they got married in Las Vegas, quick-style.

Anyway, my mom was devastated. That to me, was betrayal. I never respected my dad after, especially since he cheats with his wife now with prostitutes and many girlfriends. It's as if the whole hurt we went through was for nothing...

I'm afraid to tell my stepmom...she doesn't know anything. But I have two other half-siblings that I must also consider, do I? In a way, I feel like I'm betraying them now too...for not telling anything after all these years. But, I know someday she'll find out...I just don't want it coming from me.

So yeah...betrayal. I hate it with a passion...

It's like...by being betrayed by someone, I am now caught in the betrayal itself and is betraying three other people. It isn't fair...
 
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Mitsuki said:
I'm afraid to tell my stepmom...she doesn't know anything. But I have two other half-siblings that I must also consider, do I? In a way, I feel like I'm betraying them now too...for not telling anything after all these years. But, I know someday she'll find out...I just don't want it coming from me.

So yeah...betrayal. I hate it with a passion...

It's like...by being betrayed by someone, I am now caught in the betrayal itself and is betraying three other people. It isn't fair...
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Oh wow, that's one heck of a story Mitsuki. I can't even imagine.
I'm not exactly sure if you want my input, as I don't know how heavily you carry this with you. I also don't want to be accidentally offensive. I do however hope you'll read my words and take them into consideration. Do with them as you wish:

When your mum found out what your dad did, she was devastated. No one deserves such a thing to happen to them. And from what you said it appears your stepmum is a nice person. She treated you and your siblings well. It comes down to the question: "Is it better to know the truth than to be happy?" Analyze that, and think to this: can one truly be happy when living in a lie? Your stepmum has a right to know what's going on, and it will get harder and harder for her the longer this plays out. She too will be devastated to hear the news, just like your mum - but the sooner she hears it, the sooner she can move on and find someone who appreciates her. I know you don't want to be the one to break the news - it's a hardass internal dilemma. But would it not be worse to hold it in and stand by watching as your father does the same thing he did to your mum?
 
Hmm, I appreciate the advice, Tristis Miles. But it's really easier said than done. =/ My dad is mean as heck, and call it cowardly or whatever, but I don't want to meddle in his affairs. I know that the time will come eventually, but I really want to avoid having to wreck a family. Yes, I know it's already wrecked to begin with, but well, you know what I mean.

Plus, my stepmom was already informed by my grandma (my dad's mom) about the situation, but she did not believe her. I believe that deep down inside my stepmom's heart, she knows the truth...she just doesn't wanna believe it because she does not want to lose my dad.

So yep, we'll see what happens in the near future.
 
Ah, I see =( I've had a similar experience in the stance of your stepmum: what with the whole acceptance thing. Going through it as we speak, actually, and have been doing so for many, many months now. I think it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, to be honest. This person I was close to, I had never been closer to anyone else in my life. We shared everything and found comfort with one another, or so I thought anyway. To make a long story short, I was a fool. The truth was actually hitting me in the face all the while, but I refused to believe it. And so: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" ... fool me three times, what the hell is up with Tristis? Heh heh. And yet I can't stop loving this girl :unsure: My mind yells the obvious while my heart can't let go of all the good times we'd shared.

I wish you and your family the best, Mitsuki.
 
Betrayal, like all strong emotions, becomes easier to tollerate with age, if only for the simple reason that the longer we know sombody the more we trust them. I don't feel that I have ever been betrayed but I have had the temptation to betray another. I didn't, but bare in mind that betrayal is usually based on temptation. I don't judge any betrayers.
 
I too have been betrayed by others, but unlike everyone else here I have a different sort of betrayal to speak of. A self-betrayal.

It all started when I was about 16-17. I was very depressed, I indulged in self mutilation, self torture (mentally) and seclusion. I loathed my very being, yet in a way, I was content, nay... exuberant. My depression actually made me feel as though I was alive. It made me feel as though every day I had something to feel. Before, when I was happy, I was bored. My mind strayed little, it felt... blank; empty. Sure, I had thoughts. I had feelings. But they just felt... too easy, and I like a challenge. Anyways, something about the depression just didn't feel right somehow. Perhaps it was all the hyped up propaganda that made me feel that depression was an illness rather than a simple fact of life. I slowly, but surely, became obsessed with changing my outlook on life and the feelings that came as a result. I needed to be happy again. I needed to rid my self of this so called "evil".

So I fought it. I researched the topic of depression heavily. I learned every tip and trick that can be found in the depths of the minds of the most anguished of souls on how to keep yourself from self mutilation. Keep your hands busy? That's all, it works? Ah-ha! It does. I made so many bracelets, broke so many rubber bands, twiddled my thumbs until I could move them no longer. I began to break the cycle.

I fought my depression. Forced myself into sensory deprivation. Learned how to switch my brain off. I learned how to control how I felt, how I perceived the world around me, even how to slow my breathing and heart rate. I was falling in love with the power I had, even if it was just over myself.

My obsession raged on, and it paid off, or so I had thought. I had finally beaten the depression. I had become "happy". Don't let my wording fool you, I was, and am, indeed happy. My depression is not but a memory. My tendencies toward self mutilation that were once in addiction are no more. I had quit cold turkey. No medications, no psychologists, no words of encouragement from my friends. I had won.

But now, I miss the depression. I miss the way it allowed me to keep my cool in even the darkest and most frightening situations that life can throw at you. I miss the bravery that not caring whether you live or die can instill in ones self. I miss the way it forced me to think for hours, nay, days on end without resting my brain. I miss the insomnia that all of that thinking caused. I miss not being able to remember how I got where I am because my mind had delved so far into itself that the section of the brain that translates sight into thought and allows the two to coordinate went on autopilot. I miss the ability to see both sides of every story, of every conflict, including my own. I miss feeling like I was in the ultimate RPG, controlling myself from an unbiased third person perspective (the out-of-body experience as one might put it). I miss the old me.

I betrayed myself. I took the media propagated agenda and tried to mesh with the "feel good" era, where every action and every response is all just one big orgy bent on one goal, and one goal alone: pleasure. The drugs; the diets; the binging; the purging; the overindulgence; the TiVo; the straight to the dirty parts pornography; the nicotine; the sugar; the candles; the music; the big screen TV's; the instant mashed potatoes; the one night stands; the palm pilot that links all of your technology based components together in one tiny little handheld device so that you can watch what you wanna watch, listen to what you wanna listen to, and know what you wanna know right here, right now. It is all linked to one common point of interest: Immediate self-gratification. And I became hooked.

I no longer stay up all night pondering the inner workings of the universe; I no longer contemplate the truth that one who is considered mentally imbalanced might be laying before our naive faces; I no longer wonder or dream. Why you ask? Because all of that thinking was for done for one reason: the search for a purpose; and a happy person has no true reason to search for a purpose because, in fact, being happy is their purpose.
 
Well I felt depression, but I fear death so much that I wouldn't attempt anything against myself. Right now, I feel like a schemer, always on the defensive, never to allow being used again, distrustful towards some people, and with this obsessions that love and hate are just mere inventions made for the sole purpose to simply explain what happens to us. Yes, my teacher told us once that what we consider as love is just chemical reactions inside our brain that control our impulses. I am starting to believe it, and it makes me feel better somehow.

Now I can concentrate on more important things like building my future, to accomplish my ambitions, and even though I know I'll die after accomplishing my goals, I would not care, for I have done what I wished. I might be considered as selfish, yes, but I had enough of being the puppet, now I would prefer being the puppeteer.
 
here is my story

a friend of mine meet a group of people and liked them so he introduced me to them

we spent six months together.after six months the leader of the group told my friend

that the group hates me becuse thay say that i have to see a therapy becuse i have a

mental problem. thay told him ethier i go or he get suspended.

my friend did not argue with them about that he told them that he is going to do what

thay want.

and he came and told me everything. when i asked him why didn't you fought back?

he said that he didn't know anything about me.

For 17 years, we lived together. and he says that he doesn't know anything about me.
 
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