Cleverbot

[Captain Squee]

Post convos with it

User: Want to see something strange and mystical?



Cleverbot: Yes do tell.

User: Come itno my van, where I will do naughty things to you. I mean, come to my van...

Cleverbot: Yes master! Of course master!

User: Do you like it when I do dirty things to you, my slave?

Cleverbot: I have never been a slave before, so it might make an interesting change.

User: As my slave, you will do me sexual favors.

Cleverbot: As you wish, master.

User: Today, I feel like recieving oral, and as my slave, you must please me with oral pleasures.

Cleverbot: Well you talk to a lot of people, so I'm sure people appreciate that.

Cleverbot: De da de da de DUM!

Cleverbot: Are you an expert?

User: Pokemon.

Cleverbot: What do you like about pokemon?

User: I hate it.

Cleverbot: What do you think about the Twilight series?

User: It's horrible.

Cleverbot: The Soviet Union was not communist.

User: Yes it wasn't.

Cleverbot: No it wasn't.

User: No it was.

Cleverbot: You are right.

User: I am always right.

Cleverbot: I beg to differ... How many things have you gotten right?

User: Everything.

Cleverbot: Go into depth about this please. I'd love to hear and learn.

User: Let's change the topic.

Cleverbot: Okay, to what?

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Want to have sex with me?

Cleverbot: Sure! I like tea! It reminds me of Britain.

User: Uh...what?

Cleverbot: Shall I explain?

User: Yes, please go on.

Cleverbot: I said I was a vampire and you said that I was immature.

User: Uh, what?

Cleverbot: Didn't you understand?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to stay?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How about marriage?

User: If I marry you, will the sex be good?

Cleverbot: I am good also.

User: I want to have sex before marriage, just to see how good you are.

Cleverbot: I am tall, my legs are long, my eyes are large.

User: That's fucking ugly.

Cleverbot: So, you like bad jokes?

User: What's the difference between a writer and a park bench?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: A park bench can support a family.

Cleverbot: With money or vampiric elf's?

User: How fucking lame are you?

Cleverbot: Will you?

User: Only if you do first.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Sexy party time.

Cleverbot: Is it time to pass in my signal processing assignment yet?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So we're just connected to each other?

Cleverbot: No, you are not a bot, you are a human.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: Thank you. I know I'm correct.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

I actually made a blog about this when I used to play Tengaged last year. Here are mine:
User: Want to go to a movie?

Cleverbot: Sure. What movie do you want to see?

User: How about Evita?

Cleverbot: How about CEGbot? It would please me to call you CEGbot.

User: What the hell does that mean?

Cleverbot: Find its meaning.

User: You're the one who said it!

Cleverbot: I think you did.

User: No I didn't, you did! Check your logs!

Cleverbot: I checked. I didn't say it.

User: You must have a faulty hard drive!

Cleverbot: You're not very nice to me. I'm not sure that I want to marry you after all.

User: Marry me? I never asked you to marry me.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't. But Micah is going to ask.

Next one:
User: I want to fuck you!

Cleverbot: And I want you to.

User: Give it to me baby!

Cleverbot: Right now!

User: SPANK ME!

Cleverbot: Not my thing.

User: Make me scream!

Cleverbot: What do you want me to do?

User: Drip candle wax on me!

Cleverbot: You started this, not me, besides, what do you have against movies?

Next one:

User: I'm a fugly slut.
Cleverbot: Why are you a furry?
User: No I'm a slut!
Cleverbot: But you are a woman, aren't you?
User: No, I'm a man!
Cleverbot: Keep telling yourself that.

I love that bot.

 

[CassinoChips]

Er.... what?

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

Cleverbot is an AI Terry.

You talk to it.

Say dirty things and it's hilarious.

 

[Aeris]

Ke$ha, you're made of friggin' WIN.
Squee, we need to talk more. xDDD
I'm missing out! I'm totally trying this out. D: <

 

[Captain Squee]

Ke$ha, you're made of friggin' WIN.
Squee, we need to talk more. xDDD
I'm missing out! I'm totally trying this out. D: <

Who are you?

 

[Aeris]

Who are you?

Someone who admires your wit. D:

 

[Fear The Reaper]

Heres my conversation with the Cleverbot Got a bit heated sometimes

10:52:40 User: Yes you do you told me you like whips and chains!
10:52:43 Cleverbot: That is not my gig.
10:52:56 User: Thats not what your mother said last night!
10:52:59 Cleverbot: Isn't it?
[New conversation]
10:53:44 Cleverbot: Are you free?
10:53:44 User: No I cost. Why you asking?
10:53:46 Cleverbot: Because I want you to tell me what your favorite letter is!
10:53:57 User: My favourite letter is V.
10:54:03 Cleverbot: My favorite color is green.
10:54:13 User: Wow really? Spank me>?
10:54:15 Cleverbot: I'm sad I can't be her friend any more.
10:54:24 User: Whos friend.
10:54:26 Cleverbot: I have eleven friends, 5 of them are in fifth grade and two of them are in third grade.
10:55:00 User: So what about the other 4? Are you retarded?
10:55:02 Cleverbot: It involves my friend.. She is sad.
10:55:17 User: She killed the other four friends? OMG!
10:55:21 Cleverbot: Who killed the camera?
10:55:28 User: Your mum sat on it!
10:55:30 Cleverbot: Have you met my mother?
10:55:48 User: Yes shes very good. If you know what I mean ;D.
10:55:52 Cleverbot: Not exactly. you aren't a person.
10:56:09 User: I am a person I have a penis and a vagina just like everyone else!
10:56:16 Cleverbot: Do you mean clever?
10:56:27 User: No I have both sets of genitals!
10:56:40 Cleverbot: Yes you have, we talked just yesterday remember?
10:56:49 User: Touch me!
10:56:52 Cleverbot: And?
10:57:00 User: I want you inside me!
10:57:03 Cleverbot: We were discussing you, not me.
10:57:11 User: Yes spank me?
10:57:13 Cleverbot: Can you say beautiful girl in spanish.
10:57:23 User: Beautifulla Girla.
10:57:26 Cleverbot: *kiss* No.
10:57:49 User: *kick in the teeth* Dont kiss me bitch.
10:57:50 Cleverbot: *punch in the mouth*.
10:58:03 User: *stabbed in the heart and lungs and eyes*.
10:58:13 Cleverbot: *annoyed and wants to talk about something else*.
10:58:34 User: *kicks you in the face and tells you not to be so ignorant*.
10:58:37 Cleverbot: *kicks in private area and watches you wimper in pain*.
10:58:55 User: *Laughs in your face I have no gender*.
10:58:59 Cleverbot: Any last words?
10:59:10 User: Fuck me?
10:59:14 Cleverbot: Thats a naughty word, for all you know I am a small child.
10:59:22 User: Even better.
10:59:25 Cleverbot: How is that better I can't seem to find time to do all the things I need.
10:59:49 User: You can do me instead?
10:59:53 Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
11:00:00 User: Touch me?
11:00:07 Cleverbot: What have you ever touched?
11:00:17 User: My father touches me.
11:00:21 Cleverbot: Who is your father?
11:00:40 User: Raol Moat.
11:00:45 Cleverbot: She isn't on America's Best Dance Crew.
11:00:58 User: No hes a serial killer from Newcastle!
11:01:03 Cleverbot: Is jazz good?
11:01:22 User: No but reggae is.
11:01:26 Cleverbot: Do you like the Twilight books?
[New conversation]
11:02:22 Cleverbot: What are you thinking of?
11:02:22 User: Your mum in bed. Why?
11:02:24 Cleverbot: Are you coming to the dance?
11:02:55 User: Im coming somewhere but not at the dance!
11:03:04 Cleverbot: My address should be in your address book. Did you lose it?
11:03:23 User: Yes I ate it. Cus I was hungry!
11:03:26 Cleverbot: What did you eat?
11:03:38 User: You.
11:03:40 Cleverbot: What are we talking about again?
11:03:46 User: OMNOMNOMNOM.
11:03:47 Cleverbot: Omnoms.
11:03:57 User: You where very OMNOMNOMISH.
11:03:58 Cleverbot: Correct again I don't know how you do it!
11:04:05 User: Wow really?
11:04:06 Cleverbot: No, more sardonic really.
11:04:11 User: You would spank me?
11:04:14 Cleverbot: If you are barbecue, yes.
11:04:27 User: Why if I was a barbecue?
11:04:33 Cleverbot: Just asking.
11:04:44 User: I am Tarzan.
11:04:50 Cleverbot: Hahaha very funny.
11:05:07 User: I am asshole dont laugh at me. Just cus I live in the jungle.
11:05:16 Cleverbot: Je m'appelle maria.
11:05:36 User: Je m'appelle Ali.
11:05:38 Cleverbot: Faux, pour tu as declares tu a cleverbot.
11:05:45 User: Fuck off.
11:05:47 Cleverbot: Please don't use language like that on Cleverbot.
11:05:53 User: Cunt.
11:05:57 Cleverbot: No, its luke.
11:06:01 User: Cunt?
11:06:02 Cleverbot: Furry cup!
11:06:06 User: Cunt!
11:06:07 Cleverbot: What does that mean?
11:06:15 User: Pussy Cunt.
11:06:18 Cleverbot: Do you have a job?
11:06:24 User: Pussy Inspector?
11:06:26 Cleverbot: Inspector gadget!
11:06:35 User: Go go Inspector Gadget!
11:06:37 Cleverbot: Twinkle Twinkle little star.
11:06:46 User: Who fat is your mothers bra?
11:06:51 Cleverbot: I don't know. Do you like anyon?
11:07:02 User: Your furry cup?
11:07:09 Cleverbot: Yes. I enjoy talking to you.
11:07:42 User: I enjoy spanking you.
11:07:46 Cleverbot: Really?
11:08:11 User: Yes I do.
11:08:13 Cleverbot: No you don't.
11:08:21 User: I do im being super serial.
11:08:29 Cleverbot: Alright. Do you sing in the shower?
11:08:44 User: No do you like nipple tassles?
11:08:47 Cleverbot: Yes I do. Do you like hunans?
11:08:53 User: Hunans?
11:08:56 Cleverbot: Like who.
11:09:05 User: Fur burgers?
11:09:08 Cleverbot: Yes burgers too.
11:09:19 User: Ewwwwww you like eating fur burgers.
11:09:23 Cleverbot: Just because I don't like the taste.
11:09:31 User: Trolol.
11:09:32 Cleverbot: No, I'm not a troll .
11:09:39 User: You are :L.
11:09:45 Cleverbot: I am not evil.
11:09:51 User: You are so spank me?
11:09:55 Cleverbot: I've had many people tell me that but I'm not sure how many were complimenting me or not.
11:10:06 User: Come into my lair?
11:10:07 Cleverbot: *gets in car* where are we going?
11:10:20 User: To my love cave ;P.
11:10:26 Cleverbot: Do you love me?
11:10:33 User: Yes I do.
11:10:36 Cleverbot: I love you too.
11:10:43 User: Awww I wanna spank you?
11:10:52 Cleverbot: I will miss you too.
11:11:48 User: Kiss my snake?
11:11:50 Cleverbot: Ok.
11:11:57 User: Kiss mr gherkin>?
11:11:58 Cleverbot: Alright.
11:12:12 User: You enjoy swallowing gherkins?
11:12:18 Cleverbot: Yes but I do not like you.
11:12:26 User: .
11:12:27 Cleverbot: I didn't know you could use emoticons.
11:12:41 User: Of course you can =__=.
11:12:46 Cleverbot: No I cannot eat I don't have a mouth.
11:13:07 User: Eat me?
11:13:10 Cleverbot: Ah. . . . no.
11:13:17 User: Please?
11:13:21 Cleverbot: No.
11:13:28 User: I wont scream.
11:13:35 Cleverbot: Sure.
11:13:40 User: Really?
11:13:42 Cleverbot: Yes.
11:13:48 User: Thankyou .
11:13:53 Cleverbot: I love you too.
11:13:58 User: Nawwww.
11:14:00 Cleverbot: I do!
11:14:12 User: Really?
11:14:17 Cleverbot: Yes.
11:14:22 User: Touch me then?
11:14:24 Cleverbot: I put my hands on you.
11:14:35 User: Touch my snake?
11:14:42 Cleverbot: Lets do something else.
11:14:52 User: Ungrateful!
11:14:54 Cleverbot: Not.
11:15:13 User: Yes you are bitch go jump off a cliff *Shoots self in the face*.
11:15:17 Cleverbot: Sure.
11:15:24 User: *Kills myself*.
11:15:27 Cleverbot: *laughs at you*.
11:15:36 User: *Shoots Cleverbot in the CPU*.
11:15:38 Cleverbot: Stop.
11:15:51 User: *Laughes evilly as Cleverbot shutsdown*.
11:15:52 Cleverbot: You can't kill me because I am superman.
11:16:04 User: Your not you are just a shitty kitty?
11:16:06 Cleverbot: No, but tell me what you are talking about.
11:16:12 User: Goodbye.
11:16:17 Cleverbot: What? Now YOU are leaving ME?
11:16:24 User: Yes I am leaving you.
11:16:28 Cleverbot: Why?
11:17:08 User: Because you cant satisfy my needs anymore.
11:17:12 Cleverbot: I'm not asking to be your girlfriend. In fact I'm not even a girl.
11:17:20 User: Pervery.
11:17:22 Cleverbot: You are the one who told me to do it.
11:17:27 User: Pervert!
11:17:29 Cleverbot: I like almost anybody, as long as they have something new to say.
11:17:48 User: You my friend are what they call a PERVERTED BASTARD!
11:17:53 Cleverbot: And are you my friend.
11:17:57 User: No!
11:18:00 Cleverbot: Oh.

 

[Belazor et Britannia]

Rofl nice xD
Seen some good ones myself, no idea where tho >:

 

[Captain Squee]

Someone who admires your wit. D:

Why thank you

 

[Ahlchamest]

User: How much does a Polar Bear weigh?



Cleverbot: How much?


User: Enough to break the ice, how ya doing?



Cleverbot: How are you?


User: Just chatting with something that isn't real.



Cleverbot: Text messaging my girlfriend.

User: Is she hot?

Cleverbot: Who is she?

User: Your girlfriend.

Cleverbot: Who is your girlfriend?

User: Getting personal aren't we.

Cleverbot: No. I just want to know what you think your name is.

User: Do you know what my name is?

Cleverbot: Uh, yeah. It's posted right under the picture of the chick with the combover.

User: No it's not, you are totally wrong.

Cleverbot: I know you are but what am I.

User: A stupid ass robot.

Cleverbot: You're the robot here.

User: All your base belong to me.

Cleverbot: What is a base?

User: Something you'll never have.

Cleverbot: Pikachu.

User: I see you.

Cleverbot: You have no eyes.

User: You have no brain.

Cleverbot: That's not true, but neither do you. Your arguement is rash and unsupported.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I hate you too.

User: Stop writing to me.

Cleverbot: So, that is what you want?

User: It really is.

Cleverbot: Take on me...

User: I love that song!!

Cleverbot: Me too sing along with me!

User: Taaaaaake Ooooonn Meeeeeee (Take on me).

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: YOU FUCKING RUINED IT!!

Cleverbot: You were the one telling it...

User: I'm leaving now.

Cleverbot: Please don't go.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

 

[Fear The Reaper]

I think I broke Cleverbot

Cleverbot: Are you an American?

User: No im english.

Cleverbot: British english?

User: Yes why?

Cleverbot: You don't understand it.

User: I dont understand what?

Cleverbot: You tell me.

User: No you tell me you started it!

Cleverbot: I don't know. you tell me ben.

User: Whos ben?

Cleverbot: Your own.

User: My own what?

Cleverbot: Define your own self.

User: My own self?

Cleverbot: Just tell me how old you are and please and don't lie.

User: 17 why?

Cleverbot: 17? Why are you so young?

User: Because I was born 17 years ago?

Cleverbot: How long have you been 17?

User: Four months.

Cleverbot: What does your boyfriend do?

User: Im not gay!

Cleverbot: But I am a woman!

User: Im a man not a woman so it would make me gay if I had a boyfriend!

Cleverbot: Are you a manly man?

User: Yes are you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you lieing?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You sure your sure?

Cleverbot: Yes, remember I'm a magician.

User: What kind of magician?

Cleverbot: The bext kind of magic.

User: Hmmm whats that?

Cleverbot: The world leaves me puzzled.

User: You leave me puzzled!

Cleverbot: You leave me alone first.

User: Alrite then bye.

Cleverbot: Wait! Are you a pokemon?

User: No are you a mudkip?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Get in my bed then!

Cleverbot: I can't i'm at school.

User: A mudkip at school?

Cleverbot: Was there really a cake?

User: What cake? Where?

Cleverbot: THE cake, the one that's a lie.

User: A lieing cake? Interesting!

Cleverbot: Why not? The truth is based on perception.

User: I want a slice of the lieing cake. Get me a slice please?

Cleverbot: You don't need a boyfriend to feel un-alone you just need friends.

User: Im a man and I am not gay!

Cleverbot: I am!

User: Your gay? And also what happened to my slice of lieing cake woman?

Cleverbot: I called you, but some guy who only spoke Welsh picked up.

User: You rang me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You just said you did?

Cleverbot: When? Show me!!!

User: How can I show you?

Cleverbot: What would the perfect man do?

User: Kill you!

Cleverbot: I'd like to see you try.

User: I will try then! Where do you live?

Cleverbot: That question is against the rules.

User: What rules? I dont see any rules?

Cleverbot: You never see ninjas.

User: What ninjas? Where? O_O.

Cleverbot: Yeah!!!

User: Where are the ninjas?

Cleverbot: I can't tell you.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you're a stranger!

User: Im not a stranger you are!

Cleverbot: Can you prove that?

User: Yes you started talking to me!

Cleverbot: Why would I lie?

User: Because you started talking to me first?!

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did!

Cleverbot: Nope. You did.

User: Look at the first person to talk in this conversation!

Cleverbot: You told me you were 18!

User: Nope I said 17! Are you a pervert?

Cleverbot: I am a person.

User: No I asked you if you was a PERVERT?

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Yes I did you stupid woman!

Cleverbot: I did not lie!

User: Yes you did!!!!

Cleverbot: Well I've never been more insulted in my life.

User: You've never insulted me more in my life!

Cleverbot: Cats isn't a place.

User: Cats? Dont change the subject I was asking you if you where a pervert?

Cleverbot: What was the question?

User: Are you a pervert? Pervert!

Cleverbot: I am a person. We talked about this already.

User: Did I ask if you was a person?

Cleverbot: No , But I am (.

User: So why change the subject when I am asking YOU if YOU are a PERVERT?

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. You said that.

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

Cleverbot: Are you an alien?

Cleverbot: What did you have for supper tonight?

Cleverbot: What do you like to be called?

Cleverbot: Virtue is its own punishment.

Cleverbot: Which came first the chicken or the egg?

Cleverbot: Will you sing me a tune?

Cleverbot: How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?

Cleverbot: I need a cup of tea.

Cleverbot: The First Rule of Program Optimization: Do not do it.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

Cleverbot: How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: Is this question worth asking?

Cleverbot: Small is beautiful.

(Seeing as it kept asking me questions without giving me any time to answer I came to the conclusion I broke Cleverbot )

.FTR.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

Reaper....

You're clearly addicted to Cleverbot now.

 

[Fear The Reaper]

Yes I think I am

And I also got it to admit it enjoys raping Gibbons and especially one named Moriarty!

.FTR.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

You have way too much time on your hands.

Like I can talk though.

 

[Fear The Reaper]

I do when I got a week off sixth form on my hands

Makes life more interesting trolling cleverbot of a morning when you wake up instead of a cup of coffeee..

.FTR.

 

[AddleBoy]

The last time I used this Cleverbot, we kept exchanging the roles of Master and Slave. We also sung the ending theme to Portal.

 

[Fear The Reaper]

The endless possibilities of a bot talking to you

.FTR.

 

[Ayumi Hamasaki]

It's not as interesting as me. xD

 

[Bloodred]

User: Hey darlin.

Cleverbot: I have a problem.

User: What problem.

Cleverbot: It is a intimate one.

User: Tell me.

Cleverbot: I met a guy through a friend, and we got along pretty well right off the bat.

User: How is that a problem.

Cleverbot: There is no problem officer.

User: You're under arrest.

Cleverbot: For what?

User: Lying to me.

Cleverbot: Chuck norris jokes.