Dear Person who programmed the chocobo catcher bit...

C

captain_awesome

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Dear person who programmed/designed the chocobo catcher minigame....
Fuck you.
You are a terrible person. You have condemned hundreds of people to your stupid little battle of patience that depends far too much on random chance. You deserve to be shot. If this minigame wasnt in a Final Fantasy game, you would most likely be unemployable for the rest of your career. God damn you and your good fortune that the rest of the game overshadows the rest of this abortion of a minigame. I would rather tear my own face off than beat 0.0 seconds, you unreasonable cock. The reward for success in this task should be a blowjob dispenser or something, not a measley sun sigil. I hate you.

You know whats fun? Getting 7 balloons in a row, only to be hit by two undodgeable seagulls from directly above you, thus ruining the only chance you had of spending the next hour and a half doing anything other than trying to beat this shambolic excuse for a minigame. OH WAIT NO, THAT FUCKING SUCKS. Please kill yourself.

Oh look at that. I had 12 balloons and zero bird hits. So then two unavoidable birds came along and ruined my run. Now I have to wait 20 minutes before I get another run that starts with balloons on the right hand side. I AM HAVING LOTS OF FUN AND NOT AT ALL WISHING THAT THIS PART OF THE GAME WAS REMOVED IN FAVOUR OF A LESBIAN MAKE OUT SCENE OR SOMETHING. FUCK.

You know what else makes perfect sense and isnt at all retarded and stupid? The fact that for the balloons, you have to pass slap through the middle of them, but with the birds, you only need to faintly brush the edge of their wings for them to totally ruin you. That was a great piece of design there and not at all an irritating blemish on an otherwise incredible game.

Oh, and might I add, giving you an epileptic chocobo with ADD and down's syndrome was a stroke of genius. The way the camera jerks around haphazardly, the way the chocobo steadfastly refuses to turn in a specific direction at times, it all adds to the perfect symphony of videogaming harmony in a minigame sent by the gods. Oh wait no, it sucks balls.
 
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There, there. You really don't have to kill yourself trying to win this race. I didn't bother until I'd played the rest of the game several times over.

But yeah, it's evil. Don't most games have a few hidden sidequest challenges that are well-nigh impossible, for the truly masochistic gamers in the world? I ran into one in Tomb Raider Anniversary just the other day...
 
The fact that there is no quick way to restart? The fact that the birds home in on you and can appear from nothingness? The fact that 75% of the time it is impossible to get more than 2 or 3 balloons in the starting stretch before the homing seagulls of death come into play? GENIUS! Sheer, unadulterated genius.

Unfortunately for me, I have played the game several times over and am not a masochistic psycho. I need the celestial weapon to beat one-eye, so i can get a triple ap weapon for tidus/auron/wakka etc so i can fight don tonberry and get heaps o' ap. But no, I'm stuck in this test of patience for hours on end because no one has found a way to program a video game without the mandatory waste-of-your-life section.
 
I beat everything in the game without Tidus' celestial weapon, including One-Eye. I think I just customized a weapon that did the job. (Possibly double AP instead of triple AP). If the chocobo catcher is driving you mad, perhaps there is some other way to accomplish the same thing without tearing your hair out?

I know what you mean about waste-of-your-life section.
There are portions of X-2 that I enjoy: the Crimson Squad backstory. Unfortunately huge chunks of that game's backstory/side story are only accessible via annoying minigames.
 
Hallelujah, after 3 long and painful hours I finally succeeded in getting 0.0 seconds. A word of advice: don't drink and drive chocobos. Its difficult.
 
Hahahaha you just made me feel a whole lot better about my failed attempts at Chocobo racing the other day xD

I got the time after a couple of hours, then I got ambused and killed by a marlboro before I had chance to save.....one was most definately NOT amused. I sat and did it all over again and could I get that fuckign time again?! Could I bollocks, I was about ready to eat my PS2. I too, managed it about 3 bastard hours later

I feel your pain

Also, please don't doublepost, use the edit button :wacky:
The fact that there is no quick way to restart? The fact that the birds home in on you and can appear from nothingness?
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That REALLY fuckign winds me up ¬_¬
 
hahahah that was a funny rant. But aye the game was annopying, especially like you say when a bird comes along at last minute and ruins everything
 
That happened to me repeatedly, always when i KNEW i was going to get the time aswel, I'd get fucked over just as I was running over the line. and i swear to god, that chocobo trainer bitch has a head start too, she has like a chocobos foot length whole start so the bitch nearly always gets infront of you and thats when I wish there was a restart option -__-

Also, when you get hit by a bird and before you have chance to recover, another one smacks you in the face
 
captain_awesome said:
Hallelujah, after 3 long and painful hours I finally succeeded in getting 0.0 seconds. A word of advice: don't drink and drive chocobos. Its difficult.
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Congrats. I played FFX for years before I got that. It was literally the last thing I ever beat in the game. I don't understand why people hate the lightning dodger game so much -- that is EASY PEASY compared to chocobo hell.

Although the butterfly game comes in a close second.

With both of them, the trick is memorizing the route to take. Except that the #@$!$@ chocobo game has several different routes, and if you don't get the one with a row of balloons at the beginning, you're just about screwed.
 
It is frustrating, but when you see that 0.0 seconds... it feels as if it was all worth it. (OK, maybe not.)

Bambi said:
Also, when you get hit by a bird and before you have chance to recover, another one smacks you in the face
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YES, that killed me! Just piling on the insults...
 
lol I was in the same boat for ages finally restarted a new game got it fairly easily but then got fecked trying to do the damn butterfly game! think it gets you one way or another really! bloody annoying mini games to get powerful weapons!
 
I'm curious to know how many people actually accomplished this. I played it for days and days until I gave up and used the cheat, convinced that it was going to send me mad before I ever got anywhere near 0.0.0.

(Just FYI - I'm sure everyone already knows, but in the Japanese version there was a glitch that allowed you to become sort of.. "transparent" during this minigame. The seagulls and the chocobo trainer would just go straight through you if they touched you without stunning you or deducting any time from your total, so winning is just a matter of collecting enough balloons. They fixed it before they released the game in English however, so it's only available on old copies of the Japanese release of FFX.)
 
How I wish we had that glitch, I'm sure I'm prematurely aging because of this game and it's sigils.

And no, I've never heard of said glitch myself :gonk:
 
Lol captain, I'm impressed you managed to get a rant out of this. Everytime I even think of that damn minigame, all I can muster up is "fwteryehntggerrhijt" or something, with a swear word mixed in ^_^

Auronlu said:
Congrats. I played FFX for years before I got that. It was literally the last thing I ever beat in the game. I don't understand why people hate the lightning dodger game so much -- that is EASY PEASY compared to chocobo hell.

Although the butterfly game comes in a close second.

With both of them, the trick is memorizing the route to take. Except that the #@$!$@ chocobo game has several different routes, and if you don't get the one with a row of balloons at the beginning, you're just about screwed.
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I agree 100% I got the second course done on my third try, which is supposed to be the hardest one but it took me hours to conquer the last one. The second course had two butterflies really close together and an awful camera angle, I still don't know which way to get around them *shrug* But the first one, I was never fast enough even when I avoided them all o_0

I remember when I first did the second, longer course I accidentally kept running into the next area (I swear, the analog stick got stuck) and I had to do it again. By the time I did manage to do the first one, I didn't get the item. I'm sure there's some sort of time limit for completing both of them, if you take too long to do the other you have to do the other again. I dunno.

The lightning game wasn't too bad for me. Turning the lights off helps, and I usually stopped/paused it after about 20 or so for a break. Takes a while but it's worth it ^_^
 
Marill said:
The lightning game wasn't too bad for me. Turning the lights off helps, and I usually stopped/paused it after about 20 or so for a break. Takes a while but it's worth it ^_^
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That was exactly my strategy, too. My best friend mocked me when I said I was on to the lightning minigame, but it didn't actually take too many attempts before I got it.

Actually, the one thing I can't seem to bring myself to do is play Blitzball. :( I'm sure I enjoyed it the first time the game came out, but I just can't seem to DO it any more!

(Though, had I not been playing in Japanese, I bet I wouldn't have got the celestial mirror, either.)
 
I hated Blitzball on my first playthrough, I just didn't get it. I watched my friend play it on his save, he was a master at it. I decided to try and get Wakka's weapon/sigil etc on my second playthrough after watching him, played it quite a bit and got pretty much hooked on it ^_^

I'll probably play it again on my third playthrough, but I will not get Tidus' weapon again, he spends most of the later part of the game with my custom catcher weapon (Double AP added :/ ) or another custom weapon equipped *shrug* Each playthrough (twice) my friend had to beat the Chocobo trainer, my best time was 9 seconds ¬_¬
 
i hate the minigames -.-

ive spent over 4 hours trying to get the sun sigil and closet time was 3.00 seconds.
Thunder one is annoying. its really boring and it pisses me off when im up to 50 and then my sister walks into the TV and passes through -.-

Rikku's CW was the easiest to get by far. Then its Auron, then Yuna's, then Lulu's then Kimahri and then Tidus.
 
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