Do actions speak louder than words for you?

[Gaige]

Basically a few years ago I was a big softy and very gullible. I would always take things at face value, give people third, fourth, fifth chances without a second thought, and most of all, I would look at peoples's words as the absolute truth. I didn't think they would lie to me or just use words to get me out of their face in my incredible naivete, and needless to say, I wasn't long in learning otherwise.

Recently in particular, words have meant very little to me when someone has wronged me. I can generally tell when they're being sincere, but I still don't welcome them back with open arms when they've screwed up half a dozen times. This might sound cold but I'm a little less...warm to them, I suppose? I believe that they might have the capacity to change but I want to see the change. I want their actions and efforts to speak for them over their words, which I see as pretty mindless and ephemeral.

While words obviously have power in arguments, love, friendship etc, and while their meaning is variable, and can make a difference in such a situation, in the kind of scenario in which someone has let you down or fucked you over, do they really hold any power? For me, they haven't held any of late.

I suppose what I'm wondering here is how you take the words of others and whether you think actions speak louder than words. Are there certain people you would make exceptions for? Are there any words that can make you break this thought pattern? Etc etc.

 

[Abstract Debauchery]

For me, it depends on the person. Some people can get off easier than others. Others won't get the time of day. For example, a close friend can sit there and call me an "outrageous asshat" and say all sorts of horrible things and I'll understand that he/she is pissed and doesn't want to talk. If someone I don't know all that well does this, I'll typically never give them the time of day. However, I guess actions do speak louder by default. It's nice when someone says something nice to you, but when they do something nice for you, it tends to stick with you more. My manager today said I was a hard worker and he was glad I worked there. Sure, that was nice and I was happy for the complement, but then he bought me a coke.

I needed that coke. So naturally, it stuck with me more.

 

[Kandy-Sugar]

Actions definitely speak louder than words.

It's one thing to say something, but it takes a hell of a lot more effort to actually do something meaningful and go out of your way for someone.

It annoyed me when one of my friends used to always bludge rides off me and say thanks but that was it. It would be nice if she returned the favour by taking me out to dinner or something, so I didn't feel so used and abused.

Then when I gained another friend I mentioned how much I disliked it and felt like I was getting used. My new friend was all like, "I can't believe she did that and I would never do that." etc etc.
Of course she did the same and it felt like I was the only decent person in all my friendships. Lately though she has been doing a lot for me and it definitely speaks louder than a few thank you's and "You're so generous." comments.

It's easy for people to bullshit and pretend they care. It's harder to actually do something and show that they care.
I wouldn't have whinged or mined half as much about driving my friends around if they returned the favour in some sort of way instead of just saying 'thanks' and 'see ya'.

I'm not a complete pushover. There have been other people that I wouldn't consider proper friends that I helped out but they never did the same for me, so I just stopped speaking to them and ignoring their requests for help etc.
I don't need people like that wasting my time. <_<

 

[Lirael]

It depends on the person and the situation really. Sometimes, words are enough. People don't have to follow through with actions all of the time; however, if people never act, their words seem very hollow. My ex, for example, would choose to make promises then go against them and said 'I love you' all the time, but never really did anything that was paricularly loving. Instead, he took me for granted.

Actions do speak louder than words when people make 'mistakes,' apologise, repeat the mistake, apologise, repeat. Having said that, it depends on the mistake and the relationship to you - and the circumstances in which that person lives. Sometimes, people break promises time and time again because of external factors which they can't always help. One could argue that they should not make promises or agree to do things, but sometimes those people are just trying to do their best.

I have always been rather too forgiving for my own good.

 

[Squid]

I think actions speak louder than words for sure.
It's so easy to say things to make someone happy or to get them off your back but if they're not acting in an appropriate manner to what they're saying then it's easy to tell they're being a fake.
Like if someone tells you they love you or something but then act distant and are never around then it's kind of obvious that they don't mean it.

So yeah, words are important too but if theres no actions backing up what they're saying then the words mean nothing to me.

 

[Ed Elric]

Broken Promises might as well be a lie.

You can't simply say something and not follow through with it. If you don't follow through with what you said, how am I supposeta believe you? Words are just words there's no real meaning behind it unless you prove yourself worthy.

Once you prove your words, then we can start getting places.