Fan Fiction FFVII True
- Thread starter Kain
- Start date
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~continuing now~
So, we all continued to laugh at Rufus....'cause we can.
Rufus: I HATE YOU!!!!
I like cheese, too, Rufus. I like cheese too.....
Me: CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY!!? How ironic....I'm talkin' to myself.
Yes. I'm good like that. Anyways, Rufus finally decided to introduce himself.
Rufus: I am the presidents son, and now that my father died, this company is mine!! MUAHAHA--
Sephiroth: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PUPPY!!!?
Rufus: T_T I slept with the puppy.
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........!!!!!!!!
Rufus: YES!!!!
Nanaki: You're sick. Thinks about thoughts of homicide.
Barret: I'm gone kill you, |3|7(|-|!!!
Cloud: Negro, please.
Nanaki: Gasp!
Tifa: Gasp!
Audience: Gasp!
Sephiroth: Gasp.
Barret: F00, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY!!!?
Cloud: Negro.....I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY!!!! *starts to whimper*
Barret: WELL IT'S NOT, |3i+C|-|!!! I DON'T EVA WANNA HEAR YOU SAY THAT AGAIN!!! UNDERSTAND, WHITE BOY!!!?
Cloud: YES!!! *cries*
Barret: GOOD!! Now, whose gone fight this muthaf*cka?
Cloud: *stops crying instantly* ME!!!
Rufus: Really? Just how do you think you'll defeat me!!?
Cloud: Everyone, get OUTTA HERE!!!
And so, the team leaves Rufus and Cloud be, while they fight. Right now, we will go in while the team forms the party, and decide whose leader.
Tifa: Okay! Who wants to be leader?
Sephiroth: Please. I'm leaving, woman.
And so, Sephiroth leaves.
Tifa: Okaaaaaay.....anyways, I'm staying here.
The Team: WHAAAAA!!!?
Barret: But why!!?
Tifa: Because, Barret, I love Cloud! And with Aeris out of the way, I may have a chance!!
Barret: *sigh*
Barret's Thoughts: Why don't she love me!!? I'm gone kill that white boy Cloud!!
Nanaki: Okay! I--
Me {in demonic voice}: I'M LEADING THE PARTY!!! *fire comes behind me*
Nanaki: O_O Okay.
Me (in sweet voice): Okey dokey then!! (in serious tone) Team! Let's go!!
And so, we leave, leaving Tifa behind, and with me leading the seperate party. So, we will go back with Rufus and Cloud fighting.
*cool FFVII boss battle music*
Rufus: So, we're alone at last!!
Cloud: That's right.
Rufus: So, you still haven't told me how you plan to beat me....
Cloud: Easy. *takes out banana*
Rufus: O_O A.....A.........
Cloud: That's right!! No monkey can resist the temptation of the ultimate, sinister, scourge, evil, DEATH BANANA!!!!
Rufus: damn YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: *throws banana off the building*
Rufus: O_O *jumps after banana*
Then, a helicopter came to pick up Rufus, with him holding the ultimate, sinister, scourge, evil, death banana.
Rufus: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I WIIIIIN!!!!
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--now I'm hungry. T_T
Well, that was certainly fast.
Some Stupid Smart Dude: Yeah, it sucked. In fact, this whole story sucks. I mean, Cloud just beat Rufus with a banana, and Sephiroth killed Aeris a lot earlier than he should--
(I got lazy)
Some Stupid Smart Dude: --have, and the banana was called the ultimate, sinister, scourge, evil, death banana. I mean, why not just call it banana? This story is the worst thing I ever heard, and the creator--that's right, narrarator, you--should die a horrible, painful-- *gets shot in the head with a shot gun*
Audience: O_O
That wasn't me. But, it certainly shut him up. Anyways....onto me and the team.....we were all traveling down the stairs, because we can.
Barret: Do...*pant*....these....*pant*.....stairs.....*pant*......ever end.......? *pant*
Me: MEEKAWAKKABOB!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *hits Barret with a club*
Barret: WHAT THE |=u(|
Nanaki: It just means she's bored.
Barret: I hate my life.....
Soon, we were downstairs, waiting for the others. Down there, we found.....A CAR!!! Yes, my friends, a car.
TK: What does a car have to do with anything?
Because I like monkies. Anyways, back to Tifa....Cloud finally got out to see her.
Cloud: Tifa!! What are you doing here?
Tifa: I was worried.
Cloud:
I'M NOT A WUSS!!!
Tifa: .....Yes you are Cloud. But that doesn't matter....
Cloud: Tifa. Next time, save yourself. Okay?
Tifa: But....
Cloud: Now, Tifa, I need you to go down without me.
Tifa: But....
Cloud: I need to find out who did this!
Tifa: But we already know Sephiroth did it.
Cloud: Yeah....but I still like chickens.
Tifa: Th-.......THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!
Cloud: Neither does that metal pole, Tifa. Now GO!!!
So, the confused and rejected Tifa went down to see us, where she found that we had a car.
Tifa: A CAR!!!
Me: The car says your momma's ugly. T_T
Barret: Wha-.....WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
Tifa: But, what about Cloud!?
Barret: We ain't got the time to wait for that--
Right at that moment, Cloud jumped through one of the windows, with a cool motorcycle.
Really Annoying Girl: Lemme guess....you're gonna, like, make fun of him again, like, oh my God?
Can't. Cloud looked awesome in this scene. I mean, he has a motorcycle....
Cloud: Take the car, and drive!!
So, we all got in the car, me on the roof, just because I can. So, we all were on a wild chase. The ShinRa people were after us, so we had a ton of fights.....but I had my shotgun. Pricks. >
After we were done, we parked near an unfinished bridge, where a huge robotic thing attacked us!!
Huge Robotic Thing: I AM....YO MOMMA!!!
Me: What is WITH people in saying that? I....I'm outta here, man!!
Cloud: Wait!! NARRARATOR!!!
And so, I left. What? I was getting pissed off at the story!
Nanaki: But it's your story!!
Exactly.
Tifa: But....but.....
Cloud: Tifa! You can't fight this!!
Tifa: WHY NOT!!!?
Cloud: Because I have crabs!!
Everyone: O_O
Dude. That's just sick.
Nanaki: Is slightly disgusted.
Cloud: Well, I guess it's just you and me, Nanaki...
?: Not for long.
Nanaki: Sees stranger.
Cloud: It's....IT'S....
~yet to be continued~
So, we all continued to laugh at Rufus....'cause we can.
Rufus: I HATE YOU!!!!
I like cheese, too, Rufus. I like cheese too.....
Me: CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY!!? How ironic....I'm talkin' to myself.
Yes. I'm good like that. Anyways, Rufus finally decided to introduce himself.
Rufus: I am the presidents son, and now that my father died, this company is mine!! MUAHAHA--
Sephiroth: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PUPPY!!!?
Rufus: T_T I slept with the puppy.
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........!!!!!!!!
Rufus: YES!!!!
Nanaki: You're sick. Thinks about thoughts of homicide.
Barret: I'm gone kill you, |3|7(|-|!!!
Cloud: Negro, please.
Nanaki: Gasp!
Tifa: Gasp!
Audience: Gasp!
Sephiroth: Gasp.
Barret: F00, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY!!!?
Cloud: Negro.....I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY!!!! *starts to whimper*
Barret: WELL IT'S NOT, |3i+C|-|!!! I DON'T EVA WANNA HEAR YOU SAY THAT AGAIN!!! UNDERSTAND, WHITE BOY!!!?
Cloud: YES!!! *cries*
Barret: GOOD!! Now, whose gone fight this muthaf*cka?
Cloud: *stops crying instantly* ME!!!
Rufus: Really? Just how do you think you'll defeat me!!?
Cloud: Everyone, get OUTTA HERE!!!
And so, the team leaves Rufus and Cloud be, while they fight. Right now, we will go in while the team forms the party, and decide whose leader.
Tifa: Okay! Who wants to be leader?
Sephiroth: Please. I'm leaving, woman.
And so, Sephiroth leaves.
Tifa: Okaaaaaay.....anyways, I'm staying here.
The Team: WHAAAAA!!!?
Barret: But why!!?
Tifa: Because, Barret, I love Cloud! And with Aeris out of the way, I may have a chance!!
Barret: *sigh*
Barret's Thoughts: Why don't she love me!!? I'm gone kill that white boy Cloud!!
Nanaki: Okay! I--
Me {in demonic voice}: I'M LEADING THE PARTY!!! *fire comes behind me*
Nanaki: O_O Okay.
Me (in sweet voice): Okey dokey then!! (in serious tone) Team! Let's go!!
And so, we leave, leaving Tifa behind, and with me leading the seperate party. So, we will go back with Rufus and Cloud fighting.
*cool FFVII boss battle music*
Rufus: So, we're alone at last!!
Cloud: That's right.
Rufus: So, you still haven't told me how you plan to beat me....
Cloud: Easy. *takes out banana*
Rufus: O_O A.....A.........
Cloud: That's right!! No monkey can resist the temptation of the ultimate, sinister, scourge, evil, DEATH BANANA!!!!
Rufus: damn YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: *throws banana off the building*
Rufus: O_O *jumps after banana*
Then, a helicopter came to pick up Rufus, with him holding the ultimate, sinister, scourge, evil, death banana.
Rufus: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I WIIIIIN!!!!
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--now I'm hungry. T_T
Well, that was certainly fast.
Some Stupid Smart Dude: Yeah, it sucked. In fact, this whole story sucks. I mean, Cloud just beat Rufus with a banana, and Sephiroth killed Aeris a lot earlier than he should--
(I got lazy)
Some Stupid Smart Dude: --have, and the banana was called the ultimate, sinister, scourge, evil, death banana. I mean, why not just call it banana? This story is the worst thing I ever heard, and the creator--that's right, narrarator, you--should die a horrible, painful-- *gets shot in the head with a shot gun*
Audience: O_O
That wasn't me. But, it certainly shut him up. Anyways....onto me and the team.....we were all traveling down the stairs, because we can.
Barret: Do...*pant*....these....*pant*.....stairs.....*pant*......ever end.......? *pant*
Me: MEEKAWAKKABOB!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *hits Barret with a club*
Barret: WHAT THE |=u(|
Nanaki: It just means she's bored.
Barret: I hate my life.....
Soon, we were downstairs, waiting for the others. Down there, we found.....A CAR!!! Yes, my friends, a car.
TK: What does a car have to do with anything?
Because I like monkies. Anyways, back to Tifa....Cloud finally got out to see her.
Cloud: Tifa!! What are you doing here?
Tifa: I was worried.
Cloud:
I'M NOT A WUSS!!!Tifa: .....Yes you are Cloud. But that doesn't matter....
Cloud: Tifa. Next time, save yourself. Okay?
Tifa: But....
Cloud: Now, Tifa, I need you to go down without me.
Tifa: But....
Cloud: I need to find out who did this!
Tifa: But we already know Sephiroth did it.
Cloud: Yeah....but I still like chickens.
Tifa: Th-.......THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!
Cloud: Neither does that metal pole, Tifa. Now GO!!!
So, the confused and rejected Tifa went down to see us, where she found that we had a car.
Tifa: A CAR!!!
Me: The car says your momma's ugly. T_T
Barret: Wha-.....WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
Tifa: But, what about Cloud!?
Barret: We ain't got the time to wait for that--
Right at that moment, Cloud jumped through one of the windows, with a cool motorcycle.
Really Annoying Girl: Lemme guess....you're gonna, like, make fun of him again, like, oh my God?
Can't. Cloud looked awesome in this scene. I mean, he has a motorcycle....
Cloud: Take the car, and drive!!
So, we all got in the car, me on the roof, just because I can. So, we all were on a wild chase. The ShinRa people were after us, so we had a ton of fights.....but I had my shotgun. Pricks. >
After we were done, we parked near an unfinished bridge, where a huge robotic thing attacked us!!
Huge Robotic Thing: I AM....YO MOMMA!!!
Me: What is WITH people in saying that? I....I'm outta here, man!!
Cloud: Wait!! NARRARATOR!!!
And so, I left. What? I was getting pissed off at the story!
Nanaki: But it's your story!!
Exactly.
Tifa: But....but.....
Cloud: Tifa! You can't fight this!!
Tifa: WHY NOT!!!?
Cloud: Because I have crabs!!
Everyone: O_O
Dude. That's just sick.
Nanaki: Is slightly disgusted.
Cloud: Well, I guess it's just you and me, Nanaki...
?: Not for long.
Nanaki: Sees stranger.
Cloud: It's....IT'S....
~yet to be continued~
Last edited:
lmao this is so funny who the guys i really wanna know!!!
Madison Strife
Ultimate Cetra
lol more pleasse!!
~continuing now~
Cloud: It's...it's....LIGHT TIFA!!
Nanaki: Wow. A lighter version of Tifa.....and cooler.
Light Tifa: HAHA!! I AM THE BEST!! So good....that I can get rid of Cloud's crabs! But I refuse to!
Cloud: YAY!!
Tifa: But....isn't that the same as me figh--
Nanaki: Shut up, bitch!
Tifa: O_O
Cloud: Gasp!
Audience: Gasp!
Meep.
Cloud: .....M-....meep!?
What, you wanna go white boy?
Cloud: Wh-..I just...
Bring it bitch, come on.
Some Guy In Audience
H MY GOD!! AAAAAAAA!!! *runs away* MY EYES!!! MY EEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEESSSSS!!!!!!
O_O Uh.....okay......
Huge Robotic Thing: And now I shall attack!! *stands still for a second* *explodes*
Light Tifa: O_O Well, guess I didn't have to do anything....
Nanaki: You're still awesome.
Later, the team went to the outskirts of Midgar, to sit and think. All that they heard....they knew they had to stop Seph-.....WAIT A SECOND!!
Cloud: WE HAVE TO STOP SEPHIROTH!!!
Light Tifa: Why exactly? I mean, he just wanted to save the puppy....
Nanaki: Yea--wait a second.....you weren't there with us Light Tifa! Starts to get suspicious of Light Tifa....
Light Tifa: I....um....it.......YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!! *runs away to an unknown town*
Cloud: HEEEY!!! WAAAAIT LIGHT TIFA!!!
Barret: Yo, I think we chould call her LT....
Nanaki: Nods in agreement.
And so the whole team went after LT, which was Nibelheim, Cloud's hometown. W-wait...
LT: Cloud, wasn't your hometown destroyed?
Cloud: How do you know?
LT: ........AAAAAAAA!!! *runs inside the Inn*
Tifa: So Cloud--
Cloud: LT!! *runs after LT*
Tifa: ......I hate you lighter version of myself.... *walks in slowly*
So the rest of the team went inside while enjoyed...RAMEN!!
Everyone except me: WHAAAA!!?
*slurp* Mmmm....
Cloud: Now I'm hungry.
Barret: No one cares.
Tifa: I do--
No one cares.
LT: So, Cloud, what happened between you and Seph?
Cloud: *sigh* It all began five years ago....
~yet to be continue--
Audience: WHAT!!? AREN'T YOU GONNA CONTINUE!!? THIS WASN'T EVEN FUNNY!!
........
Bob The Builder: .......OH MY GOD!!! *jumps off a cliff*
Audience: Wha-.....WHAT THE HELL DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!!?
Paulie wants some dope. T_T
Audience: WHA--
~yet to be continued~
Cloud: It's...it's....LIGHT TIFA!!
Nanaki: Wow. A lighter version of Tifa.....and cooler.
Light Tifa: HAHA!! I AM THE BEST!! So good....that I can get rid of Cloud's crabs! But I refuse to!
Cloud: YAY!!
Tifa: But....isn't that the same as me figh--
Nanaki: Shut up, bitch!
Tifa: O_O
Cloud: Gasp!
Audience: Gasp!
Meep.
Cloud: .....M-....meep!?
What, you wanna go white boy?
Cloud: Wh-..I just...
Bring it bitch, come on.
Some Guy In Audience
H MY GOD!! AAAAAAAA!!! *runs away* MY EYES!!! MY EEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEESSSSS!!!!!!O_O Uh.....okay......
Huge Robotic Thing: And now I shall attack!! *stands still for a second* *explodes*
Light Tifa: O_O Well, guess I didn't have to do anything....
Nanaki: You're still awesome.
Later, the team went to the outskirts of Midgar, to sit and think. All that they heard....they knew they had to stop Seph-.....WAIT A SECOND!!
Cloud: WE HAVE TO STOP SEPHIROTH!!!
Light Tifa: Why exactly? I mean, he just wanted to save the puppy....
Nanaki: Yea--wait a second.....you weren't there with us Light Tifa! Starts to get suspicious of Light Tifa....
Light Tifa: I....um....it.......YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!! *runs away to an unknown town*
Cloud: HEEEY!!! WAAAAIT LIGHT TIFA!!!
Barret: Yo, I think we chould call her LT....
Nanaki: Nods in agreement.
And so the whole team went after LT, which was Nibelheim, Cloud's hometown. W-wait...
LT: Cloud, wasn't your hometown destroyed?
Cloud: How do you know?
LT: ........AAAAAAAA!!! *runs inside the Inn*
Tifa: So Cloud--
Cloud: LT!! *runs after LT*
Tifa: ......I hate you lighter version of myself.... *walks in slowly*
So the rest of the team went inside while enjoyed...RAMEN!!
Everyone except me: WHAAAA!!?
*slurp* Mmmm....
Cloud: Now I'm hungry.
Barret: No one cares.
Tifa: I do--
No one cares.
LT: So, Cloud, what happened between you and Seph?
Cloud: *sigh* It all began five years ago....
~yet to be continue--
Audience: WHAT!!? AREN'T YOU GONNA CONTINUE!!? THIS WASN'T EVEN FUNNY!!
........
Bob The Builder: .......OH MY GOD!!! *jumps off a cliff*
Audience: Wha-.....WHAT THE HELL DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!!?
Paulie wants some dope. T_T
Audience: WHA--
~yet to be continued~
Author's note: LightTifa (known as Arin to her friends) was a friend to many and often brightened up everyone's day with her wit and humour. Sadly, she passed away after a heart attack on december 29th last year, aged just 18. The story was continued as a tribute to her.
~continuing now~
The team was in the hotel of Nibelheim and BLAH BLAH.
Some Guy: I still think that's not how it went....
GRAH!! *bites Some Guy's head off*
Audience: *gasp*
Some Girl: Was....that needed?
Yes. Yes it was.
Anyways, on with the story.
Cloud: This is where I grew up....
Tifa: Me too!
No one cares....
Cloud: YOU SHUT UP!! I'm gonna tell you what happened.....
LT: But we already know what happened. T_T
Tifa: How.....how do you--
Barret: SHUT UP, WE DON'T WANT HER RUNNING AWAY AGAIN, DAMMIT!!
Cloud: Anyways, it was five years ago that I met Sephiroth.....
Five years ago.......
.......I SAID FIVE YEARS AGO, TIME TRAVELERS!!
Time Travelers: EEP!!! *goes to five years ago*
Ahem, five years ago.....
You see Cloud in the car, and Sephiroth,and two other guys....with the blue suits....and stuff....
Cloud: I can't believe it I'm working with Sephiroth it's so great--
Sephiroth: I LIKE PIE!! DO YOU LIKE PIE!!?
Cloud: O_O I, um......
Sephiroth: You annoying little sh*t!!
Cloud: HEY!!
Some Guy In Blue Suit # 1: Don't mind him. He just forgot to take his medication this morning....
That's when....A DRAGON CAME!!
Sephiroth: NOT THE BUTTON MAAAN!!!
Some Guy In Blue Suit # 2: Don't worry, Mr. Sephiroth....the Button Man can't get you....
Sephiroth: *in feetle position* Too many....buttons....
Cloud: It's a dragon.
Sephiroth: NEVER FEAR!! I'M HERE!!
Some Croud: YAAY!!
So Sephiroth defeated the dragon in one blow.
Cloud: But....what about me?
Sephiroth: No one cares, son....no one cares.
Cloud:I'm not your son.
Sephiroth: WHY CAN'T YOU APPRECIATE ME!!? *sobs*
Cloud's Thoughts: How can this guy be the infamous Sephiroth? He's an idiot!
Sephiroth {in demonic voice}: *fire rises behind Sephiroth and his eyes turn red* *One Winged Angel comes on as background music* What did you think about me!?
Cloud: *gulp* N-n-n-n-n-nothing!!
Sephiroth {in retarded voice}: *is back to normal and music is no longer playing* Okey dokey then!!
Cloud: Heh heh...
So when they got to Nibelheim, Sephiroth stopped walking.
Sephiroth: You lucky bastard, Clud.
Cloud: Huh? Uh.....my name's Cloud si--
Sephiroth: You have a hometown with people in it.....filled with people......pointy ears....
Cloud: Whaaaaa?
Some Guy In Blue Suit # 1: Sephiroth doesn't have a hometown....and he really like Legolas's ears from The Lord Of The Rings movies.....
Sephiroth: Pointyyyy.....
Cloud:
So they stopped at a hotel, very much like the one the team is at, where they are telling this story......
Five years later, people.
Time Travelers: *goes to five years later*
With the team....
LT: Wait. Are you sure that's how Sephiroth was?
Cloud: Yes...
Nanaki: Thinks you're lying.
Cloud: But...but...
He's telling the truth, believe it or not. Sephiroth does act like that....which is so awesome to meh.
Cloud: Anyways....
Five years ago people...
Time Travelers: We're on our break.... *leaves*
O_O GODDAMMIT!! Alright, I'll just do it myself..... *goes to five years ago*
Cloud is visiting his mum.
Cloud: Hi mom.
Cloud's Mom: OH DEAR LORD!! DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!!?
Cloud: Mom, for the last time, I'm not gay!
Cloud's Mom: Then what was with that gay porno I saw you have the day before you were going to join SOLDIER?
Cloud: Th-that was nothing!! >_>" <!--emo&<_<-->
<!--endemo-->"
Ooo....that explains a lot.....*goes to five years later*
Cloud: I-I was just giving to a friend!!
LT: Yeah, sure.
Nanaki: Is cracking up!
Cloud: I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!
~yet to be continued~
~continuing now~
The team was in the hotel of Nibelheim and BLAH BLAH.
Some Guy: I still think that's not how it went....
GRAH!! *bites Some Guy's head off*
Audience: *gasp*
Some Girl: Was....that needed?
Yes. Yes it was.
Anyways, on with the story.
Cloud: This is where I grew up....
Tifa: Me too!
No one cares....
Cloud: YOU SHUT UP!! I'm gonna tell you what happened.....
LT: But we already know what happened. T_T
Tifa: How.....how do you--
Barret: SHUT UP, WE DON'T WANT HER RUNNING AWAY AGAIN, DAMMIT!!
Cloud: Anyways, it was five years ago that I met Sephiroth.....
Five years ago.......
.......I SAID FIVE YEARS AGO, TIME TRAVELERS!!
Time Travelers: EEP!!! *goes to five years ago*
Ahem, five years ago.....
You see Cloud in the car, and Sephiroth,and two other guys....with the blue suits....and stuff....
Cloud: I can't believe it I'm working with Sephiroth it's so great--
Sephiroth: I LIKE PIE!! DO YOU LIKE PIE!!?
Cloud: O_O I, um......
Sephiroth: You annoying little sh*t!!
Cloud: HEY!!
Some Guy In Blue Suit # 1: Don't mind him. He just forgot to take his medication this morning....
That's when....A DRAGON CAME!!
Sephiroth: NOT THE BUTTON MAAAN!!!
Some Guy In Blue Suit # 2: Don't worry, Mr. Sephiroth....the Button Man can't get you....
Sephiroth: *in feetle position* Too many....buttons....
Cloud: It's a dragon.
Sephiroth: NEVER FEAR!! I'M HERE!!
Some Croud: YAAY!!
So Sephiroth defeated the dragon in one blow.
Cloud: But....what about me?
Sephiroth: No one cares, son....no one cares.
Cloud:I'm not your son.
Sephiroth: WHY CAN'T YOU APPRECIATE ME!!? *sobs*
Cloud's Thoughts: How can this guy be the infamous Sephiroth? He's an idiot!
Sephiroth {in demonic voice}: *fire rises behind Sephiroth and his eyes turn red* *One Winged Angel comes on as background music* What did you think about me!?
Cloud: *gulp* N-n-n-n-n-nothing!!
Sephiroth {in retarded voice}: *is back to normal and music is no longer playing* Okey dokey then!!
Cloud: Heh heh...
So when they got to Nibelheim, Sephiroth stopped walking.
Sephiroth: You lucky bastard, Clud.
Cloud: Huh? Uh.....my name's Cloud si--
Sephiroth: You have a hometown with people in it.....filled with people......pointy ears....
Cloud: Whaaaaa?
Some Guy In Blue Suit # 1: Sephiroth doesn't have a hometown....and he really like Legolas's ears from The Lord Of The Rings movies.....
Sephiroth: Pointyyyy.....
Cloud:
So they stopped at a hotel, very much like the one the team is at, where they are telling this story......
Five years later, people.
Time Travelers: *goes to five years later*
With the team....
LT: Wait. Are you sure that's how Sephiroth was?
Cloud: Yes...
Nanaki: Thinks you're lying.
Cloud: But...but...
He's telling the truth, believe it or not. Sephiroth does act like that....which is so awesome to meh.
Cloud: Anyways....
Five years ago people...
Time Travelers: We're on our break.... *leaves*
O_O GODDAMMIT!! Alright, I'll just do it myself..... *goes to five years ago*
Cloud is visiting his mum.
Cloud: Hi mom.
Cloud's Mom: OH DEAR LORD!! DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!!?
Cloud: Mom, for the last time, I'm not gay!
Cloud's Mom: Then what was with that gay porno I saw you have the day before you were going to join SOLDIER?
Cloud: Th-that was nothing!! >_>" <!--emo&<_<-->
Ooo....that explains a lot.....*goes to five years later*
Cloud: I-I was just giving to a friend!!
LT: Yeah, sure.
Nanaki: Is cracking up!
Cloud: I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!
~yet to be continued~
Last edited:
lmfao this is sooooo goddamed funny
Madison Strife
Ultimate Cetra
hahahah that was good
~continuing NOW!~
Okay, so we all just realized Cloud was gay...
Cloud: I'M NOT GAY!!!
Yes, but Cloud. There's a monkey on your head.
Cloud: .....No.....NOT THE MONKEYS!!! *curls in a feetle position*
Anyways, he was visiting his mom....five years ago.....
Cloud's Mom: Oh, Cloud hunny! I missed you so much!!
Cloud: Mom, I'm fine.
Dark Cloud: No you're not.
Cloud: WOAH!!! Who the hell is that?
Dark Cloud: I'm you, Cloud...
Cloud: No....that's not true.....that's impossible!!
Dark Cloud: Not really. I'm just the darker version of you.
Cloud: Oh....
Dark Cloud: *drinks some water*
Cloud: Hey! Is that my batman cup!?
Dark Cloud: .....Maaaaaybeh.....
Cloud: Give iiiiiiit!! *stamps foot on the ground*
Dark Cloud: Umm..........*points outside* THE BAT SIGNAL!! I MUST GO! *runs away*
Cloud: Heeeeey!!
Gonads and strife. T_T
Cloud: Th-......the heck does that mean!?
Cloud's Mom: She's right, Cloud. You didn't have to scare off Dark Cloud like that....
Cloud: .....*cries, and runs out of the house*
Back to the present.
LT: You asshole!! *punches Cloud in the arm*
Cloud: AAAAAA--mommy....*tear*
LT: How dare you scare off DC!?
Nanaki: DC, eh? Sounds like a soda....
LT: T_T *takes out a shotgun, and loads it*
Nanaki: Hey, I'm sorry! Wets the floor....
Cloud: Aw, now I have to pay for that!
Barret: Which reminds me....how ARE we paying for this? We have no gil....
Cloud: ......Um.......onto the story!
Barret: Wait, I--
Five years ago....Cloud had run out of the house in tears, for his mother had broken his heart.
Cloud: Yeah.....wait, WHAT!!?
So Cloud was running around in circles crying, when he bumped into Sephiroth.
Cloud: Umm....hi Sephi--
Sephiroth: Don't you hi me, b*tch!!
Cloud: Wh-what did I--
Sephiroth: Tell me this! .....*long pause*....*in sobby voice* Why do you look away when I try to talk to you!? Don't you see how much I'm suffering!? *turns around, biting his lip*
Cloud: Um.....Seph--
Sephiroth: Don't make excuses! *tear*
Cloud: Sephiroth....? Didn't you take your medication when we got off?
Sephiroth: >_> <!--emo&<_<-->
<!--endemo--> Maaaaaaaaybeh.....
Cloud: T_T Estupido!!
Sephiroth: How dare you call me a flarkshnarf!? I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Cloud: EEP!! *starts to run away, but is grabbed by Sephiroth* Don'thurtmedon'thurtmedon'thurtmedon'thurtmeeeeeee!!
Sephiroth: *stares off*
Cloud: Huh? What are you looking at?
Sephiroth: It's....it's just not possible.....
Cloud: What are talkin--*looks the way Seph's looking* O_O Oh. My. God.
~to be continued~
Okay, so we all just realized Cloud was gay...
Cloud: I'M NOT GAY!!!
Yes, but Cloud. There's a monkey on your head.
Cloud: .....No.....NOT THE MONKEYS!!! *curls in a feetle position*
Anyways, he was visiting his mom....five years ago.....
Cloud's Mom: Oh, Cloud hunny! I missed you so much!!
Cloud: Mom, I'm fine.
Dark Cloud: No you're not.
Cloud: WOAH!!! Who the hell is that?
Dark Cloud: I'm you, Cloud...
Cloud: No....that's not true.....that's impossible!!
Dark Cloud: Not really. I'm just the darker version of you.
Cloud: Oh....
Dark Cloud: *drinks some water*
Cloud: Hey! Is that my batman cup!?
Dark Cloud: .....Maaaaaybeh.....
Cloud: Give iiiiiiit!!
*stamps foot on the ground*Dark Cloud: Umm..........*points outside* THE BAT SIGNAL!! I MUST GO! *runs away*
Cloud: Heeeeey!!
Gonads and strife. T_T
Cloud: Th-......the heck does that mean!?
Cloud's Mom: She's right, Cloud. You didn't have to scare off Dark Cloud like that....
Cloud: .....*cries, and runs out of the house*
Back to the present.
LT: You asshole!! *punches Cloud in the arm*
Cloud: AAAAAA--mommy....*tear*
LT: How dare you scare off DC!?
Nanaki: DC, eh? Sounds like a soda....
LT: T_T *takes out a shotgun, and loads it*
Nanaki: Hey, I'm sorry! Wets the floor....
Cloud: Aw, now I have to pay for that!
Barret: Which reminds me....how ARE we paying for this? We have no gil....
Cloud: ......Um.......onto the story!
Barret: Wait, I--
Five years ago....Cloud had run out of the house in tears, for his mother had broken his heart.
Cloud: Yeah.....wait, WHAT!!?
So Cloud was running around in circles crying, when he bumped into Sephiroth.
Cloud: Umm....hi Sephi--
Sephiroth: Don't you hi me, b*tch!!
Cloud: Wh-what did I--
Sephiroth: Tell me this! .....*long pause*....*in sobby voice* Why do you look away when I try to talk to you!? Don't you see how much I'm suffering!? *turns around, biting his lip*
Cloud: Um.....Seph--
Sephiroth: Don't make excuses! *tear*
Cloud: Sephiroth....? Didn't you take your medication when we got off?
Sephiroth: >_> <!--emo&<_<-->
Cloud: T_T Estupido!!
Sephiroth: How dare you call me a flarkshnarf!? I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Cloud: EEP!! *starts to run away, but is grabbed by Sephiroth* Don'thurtmedon'thurtmedon'thurtmedon'thurtmeeeeeee!!
Sephiroth: *stares off*
Cloud: Huh? What are you looking at?
Sephiroth: It's....it's just not possible.....
Cloud: What are talkin--*looks the way Seph's looking* O_O Oh. My. God.
~to be continued~
Lol this is funny post the rest asap