FFVIII True

my god that was soooo funny spiderman! spider! he's a spider who a man!

Squall: Why do they have those characters in EVERY Final Fantasy?
Biggs: Oh, so we're not good enough for you?
Squall: That's not what I said--
Wedge: Fine! We'll just get that boss thing with Siren to come now, jeez! *snaps finger*

lol that got me the most lol
 
~continuing now~

Squall has still not answered my question. T_T

Squall: I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!! ,>_<,
Mechanical Spider Thingy: I vant to suck your blood!!

Well.....spiders.....don't really suck your blood....they just bite you......

Squall: *sigh* Well, Narrarator, could you make yourself USEFUL and kill the Mechanical Spider Thingy?

I.....I can't.

Squall: WHY NOT!!?

'Cause I'm afraid of spiders. ;_;

Squall: T_T We have to do this mission, stop Galbadia, and we could also get killed. You had "SPIDER" man come in this story, and had him die, and you were sad about it, which tells me you LIKE Spiderman. And now.....here you are.....telling us....YOU'RE AFRAID OF SPIDERS!!?

Yes. Yes I am.

Squall: YOU IDIOT!!!

*cries*

Selphie: Awww....don't cry...he didn't mean it.....*fire comes from behind her* DID YOU SQUALL!!?
Squall: EEP!! O_O"

No...it's just...*sniff*.......an invisible monkey jacked my imaginary cracker....

Squall: ARGH!!!
Mechanical Spider Thingy: *takes Zell's wallet*
Zell: OH NO!! I HAVE MY WEED IN THERE!!! I'M USELEEEESSS!!!!
Squall: Let's just get out of here......

So....*sniff*....the team went off *sniff* to run away from the Mechnic--*sniff*--Mechanical Spider Thingy. *sniff*

They soon got back to the boat with Seifer waiting for them.

Zell: DUDE!! HOW DID YOU GET BACK!?
Seifer: The....talking cheese saved me.
Squall: ....NARRARATOR!!

WHAT!!? THE TALKING CHEESE IS REEEEAL!!! ,>_<,

Squall: GODDAMMIT!! HOW WILL WE DESTROY THE MECHANIC--

Just then, gunfire was heard. The bullets came from a huge machine gun that...Sephiroth was controlling.

Sephiroth: What happens if I push this butto--*gun fire* AAA!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!! >_<
Squall: Sephiroth....KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!
Sephiroth: What if I don't want to?

Sephiroth....do you know....the button man?

Squall: What?
Sephiroth: O_O No...NOT THE BUTTON MAN!!

Then kill ze Mechanical Spider Thingy!!! ;_; I'm afwaid to.....

Sephiroth: YES MA'AM!! JUST NOT THE BUTTON MAN!!! *destroys the Mechanical Spider Thingy*

So....they went on the boat and sailed back to Balamb Garden.

Then the Garden exploded. THE END.

Audience: WHAT!!? THAT'S IT!!?

Nah, just kiddin'. But this part ends.

~yet to be continued~ <!-- google_ad_section_end -->
 
~continuing NOW~

We left with Squall coming back to Balamb Garden with his little friends, Selphie dragging Zell...and Fujin and Rajin came back.

Selphie: I wonder what a chicken and a duck would look like mixed together?
Seifer: I wish Squall would love me. ;_;
Fujin: RAPE BUNNY.
Rajin: *too busy popping pills to comment on anything*
Zell: *curls in feedle position* Haven't...gotten...high...in...10 minutes. O_O"
Sephiroth: I miss my cupcake...;_;
Squall: I hate my life...

They went to the headmaster's office to recieve their scores.


When they had gotten in, they awaited patiently and nervously for their scores, as a bunch of dead bodies fell from Cid's closet.

Cid: Now...wait, what the hell is THAT guy doing here!!? *points angrily at Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *in sing song voice* I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner!
That is what I truly wish to be.
'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
Everyone would be in love,
Oh, everyone would be in love,
Everyone would be in love with me! ^_^
Everyone: *stares at Sephiroth*
Cid: .....Rrrrrriiiiiiiiiight.....so! Time for your scores!! First up is Seifer. Seifer: it seems that when you were walking around, and, suddenly....jumped off a bridge.
Seifer: IT WAS THE AUTHOR'S--
Sephiroth: *still in sing song voice* Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring! BANANA PHONE!!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring! Don't have a phone?
It grows in bunches!
I've got my hunches
That it's the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular,
Modular,
Interactive-odular!
Everyone: *stares at Sphiroth again*
Cid: Okay....so the author did this?
Seifer: YES.
Cid: And....who is this "author"?

Muahaha. >:)

Seifer: YOU'RE EVIL!!!
Cid: Since you were being idiotic AND suicidal, when you were supposed to be the captain, I'm not giving you any points.
Seifer: NOOOOOOOOO--
Sephiroth: *covers Seifer's mouth and holds him cheek-to-cheek (face, pervs T_T)* But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she.
Everyone: *stares at Sephiroth and Seifer*
Seifer: *gets out of Sephiroth's grasp and runs away crying*
Cid: Well....as for Fujin and Rajin...it seems you guys did absolutely nothing.
Rajin: PICKLES!! *twitches*
Fujin: ORDERS.
Cid: Ah....so you were ordered by Seifer to do nothing?
Fujin: YES.
Cid: Aha....so you both get all 30 points.
Rajin: YIPPEE!! NowcanIgetmepillz!!?
Cid: Yes, Rajin. You may get your pillz.
Rajin: WOOHOO!!! *runs away*
Sephiroth: *dresses up in banana suit* It's peanut butter jelly time!
Peanut butter jelly time!
Where ya at?
Where ya at?
Where ya at?
Where ya at?
There ya go!
There ya go!
There ya go!
There ya go!
Peanut butter JELLEH!
Peanut butter JELLEH!
Oh no, peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!
Oh no, peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly!
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!
Everyone: *stares at Sephiroth once again*
Sephiroth: *gets out of banana outfit*
Fujin: ...SCARY. *walks out*
Cid: ....She has a point. Now, time for Squall! Hm...it seems you've lost five points.
Squall: Yes.
Cid: 25 POINTS FOR YOU!!
Squall: Yessir.
Cid: ....Doesn't that bug you?
Squall: Not really.
Cid: And I think we all know that Selphie and Zell have 20 points since they had lost 10...
Sephiroth: ....*suddenly grabs a vase, throws it on the ground, and points accusingly at Squall* WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!!!!? *runs away crying*
Everyone: O_O
Cid: ....Can we just have a ball now?
Zell: YAY!!

A few minutes later...

We find Cid, Selphie, Sephiroth, and Zell rolling a ball to each other, and Squall rubbing his eyes.

Squall: *stops rubbing his eyes* Can we have a dance now?
Selphie and Zell: *stares at Cid*
Cid: Ah, why the hell not? *glances at Sephiroth* ...And when did you come back!!?
Sephiroth: WHY ARE YOU YELLIN AT ME!!? *starts sobbing*

Later that night...

The dance has started, and everyone seems to be having a good time. Fujin and Rajin are dancing together, Zell is in the corner with a gloomy look on his face because he has no pot, Selphie is drinking a butt-load of punch, Sephiroth is threatening to kill himself if he doesn't get to hide in a closet, Cid is....we don't wanna know what he's doing...and Squall, being his anti-social self, is leaned up against a wall, watching all the students have a good time.

Suddenly, a young girl, dressed in a white dress, walks up to Squall, and looks at him with a smiling face.

Some Girl: Well, what would a handsome man like you be doing all alone?
Squall: ....
Some Girl: Hmm...not very talkative, are you?
Squall: ....What do you want?
Some Girl: Well! What would I want? Nothing...but a dance.
Squall: *suddenly becomes wide-eyed, wide-mouthed, and nervous looking* But...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE!! O_O"

~yet to be continued*
 
lol this is soooo funny kain you are the king of comedy or your sister is.... aww wth who cares just carry on the story
 
Sephiroth was pretty random:lol: Frankly, if I were Squall I would have been pissed if Fujin and Rajin got more points than me.
 
~continuing NOW!~

I have decided...that for this chapter...there will be NO HUMOUR.

Audience: *gasp*
Man: NOOOOO!!!
Woman: Cover your eyes!! *covers eyes of a little girl*

Jeez, didn't think you'd take it THIS bad...okay, how about this? I'll make it all serious, except parts with Sephiroth. How about it?

Audience: Hmmm....
Lady Ladington: Well...I guess that's not TOO bad...
Mrs. Man: WE'LL TAKE IT!!!

Okay. Now that THAT'S cleared up...

We left off with Squall admitting that he couldn't dance to the mysterious lady in the white dress.

Some Girl: Oh, how can you be a SeeD without knowing how to dance?
Squall: ...I just never bothered to learn.
Some Girl: Well, there's a first time for everything. ^_^
Squall: Uhh...
Some Girl: Teehee. You look cute when you get all nervous.
Squall: *sweat drop*
Some Girl: *giggle* Come on, dance with me! *drags Squall to the dance floor*
Squall: Hey...H-HEY!
Some Girl: Come on, it's not that hard!!
Squall: Uhh...

So, the girl put his hand in hers and his other hand on her waist, while she put HER free hand on his shoulder.

Some Girl: See? It's not so bad.

Suddenly, a certain song came on, that made her eyes glow.

Some Girl: It's her song!
Squall: Her song...?
Some Girl: Well, it's orchestrated, but it's her's nonetheless!
Squall: What are you talking about?
Some Girl: Enough talking! Let's dance!

At first, Squall stumbled a lot, sometimes interupting other dancers...but the woman was patient and always smiling, and sometimes let out the occasional giggle. By the time the song was almost over, Sqall had become very good. His stepping was near perfect, he had become more confident, and the incidents of him stumbling and bumping into others had stopped. Squall, for once, felt like he belonged, like this girl...

The song had ended, and an amazing fireworks show had gone off afterwards. Squall stared in amazement at it, and for the first time in a LONG time...felt warm inside.

He watched the fireworks, unaware that the girl in white looked in a corner of the room with Seifer there. Anyone could see in her eyes that she thought he was handsome. Unfortunately for Squall, he wasn't looking in her eyes.

Some Girl: *still looking in Seifer's direction* Could you...excuse me for a moment?
Squall: *finally looking away from the fireworks and at the girl* Uh...yeah, if you want--
Some Girl: *walks towards Seifer*
Squall: --to...

Squall immediately thought that she had just "politely ditched" him, but he didn't want himself to believe that. So he stood in the dance floor, saying a quick "sorry" everytime someone bumped into him. Finally, he decided to wait in the corner, where the girl had found him. He shuffled around nervously, sometimes getting a drink of punch, until finally, his thoughts got the better of him.

Squall's Thoughts: Squall, you idiot. How could you be so stupid to make yourself believe that she'd come back? No one's that nice. No one stays forever, and NO ONE...ever comes back. Never again will I be so stupid...never again.

Squall had been crushed, though it wasn't as if he hadn't felt this way before. He had been left in the rain MANY times before...so he just got used to it.

Suddenly, he felt a small tap on the shoulder, and turned to see Fujin looking at him.

Squall: Fujin? What do you want?
Fujin: FOLLOW. *walks off*
Squall: Umm....okay?

Fujin walked off into the SeeD training grounds, Squall following. Finally, Fujin got to one point, where they saw some people getting intimate.

Squall: ...Fujin, why did you bring me here?
Fujin: INTIMATE.
Squall: What?
Fujin: *points to couple* INTIMATE.
Squall: ...That's nice.

Fujin kept on leading him on, and Squall replied like he was a machine, finally Fujin stopped leading him on.

Fujin: LEAVING.
Squall: Okay.

Fujin left, Squall just standing there, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. He didn't care anymore. He kept his "never again" in his mind, making sure it WAS "never again".

Finally, Squall went back to his dorm and fell asleep.

Yet to be--

Mr. Woman: Hey...SEPHIROTH WASN'T IN THIS!!!

Yeah, failed to mention that part. XD

Audience: CURSE YOU!!! >_<

~yet to be continued~
 
Awww... Squall so lonely.
-It still made me laugh a little when Fujin just came in and said INTIMATE
 
~continuing NOW!~

So, since I made you suffer a whole chapter of seriousness, I'm making this purely gags! *throws pie at Complete Stranger*

Complete Stranger: HEEEY!! *licks lips with pie on them* Mmm, boisonberry! ^_^
Audience: YAY FOR BOISONBERRY!!

On with the STOOOOOOOOORYYYYYYYYY!! *starts spinning around in a chair*

Squall: *wakes up in his room* Ugh....wonder what--OH MY GOSH!!! O_O

WEEEEE--Squall has just realized that he has, without a doubt, woken up with a chicken's buttocks in his face--EEEEEEEE!!! *still spinning in a chair*

Squall: WHY THE HELL IS THAT IN MY FACE!!!
Me: *barges in room* I PUT IT THEEEEERE!! ^_^
Squall: Figures...-_-"
Me: Do you know why it's not butter?
Squall: Wh-...What does that have to do with anything!?
Me: Pickles. It has to do with pickles.
Squall: T_T What is wrong with you!?
Me: *points behind Squall* LOOK A WALL!! *runs off*
Squall: Idiot...

SQUALL GETS DRESSED AND THEN GOES OUT TO SEE ZELL, FUJIN, AND SELPHIE AWAITING HIM WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *still spinning around in a chair*

Squall: Hey, guys.
Selphie: *glares at Squall with eyes that look as though she hasn't slept in years*
Squall: What's....wrong with her? *pokes Selphie with a stick*
Fujin: NO ENERGY DRINK. *pours an energy drink down Selphie's throat*
Selphie: *drinks it all* ENERGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! CARBONAAAAAAAATES!!! PROTEEEEEEEEIN!!!! VITAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!! *dances around everyone, throwing flowers*
Sephiroth: *walks in suddenly, wearing nothing except a black censorbar covering his "you know what"* Hey guys, sorry I'm late. ^_^
Squall, Fujin, and Zell: O_O
Selphie: *still dancing and throwing flowers*
Sephiroth: What are you looking at? o_O
Squall, Fujin, and Zell: O_O
Selphie: *still dancing and throwing flowers*
Sephiroth: *looks at himself, then looks at the others*....Oh.
Squall, Fujin, and Zell: O_O
Selphie: *still dancing and throwing flowers*
Sephiroth: Well, umm....this is embarassing. ^_^"
Squall, Fujin, and Zell: O_O
Selphie: *still dancing and throwing flowers*
Sephiroth: I just thought that it was...well....Naked Sunday.
Squall, Fujin, and Zell: O_O
Selphie: *still dancing and throwing flowers*
Sephiroth: Umm....I'm gonna go--
Squall: Change?
Sephiroth: YEAH, yeah....umm.....wait right there! *points at all four or 'em* .....See ya! *runs off*
Squall: Well....that was....umm...
Fujin: INTERESTING?
Squall and Zell at the same time: ONLY IF YOU'RE A PERV!! T_T
Fujin: ?
Selphie: *stops dancing and throwing flowers* OH MY GOSH, SEPHIROTH WAS NAKED!!!
Squall: You idiot. T_T

WEEEEEEE!!! *still spinning around in chair*

Squall: And the narrarator's not doing anything! HOW CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE!!?
Zell: Oh! I broke my addiction with marijuana!
Squall, Selphie, and Fujin: *claps hands*
Squall: Good for you! ^_^
Audience: BOOOOOOO!!!
Zell: Yup! ^_^ Now I'm addicted to toilet water!
Squall: ....Teriffic. -_-"
Everything: *silence*

THEN SPIDERMAN CAME BACK ALIVE WEEEEEEEE!!!

Spiderman: Nananananananana nananananananana SPIDERMAAAAAAN!!! Spidermaaaaaan!! Nananananananana nananananananana SPIDERMAAAAAAN!!! Spidermaaaaaan!!
Batman: Hey, that's MY theme tune!
Spiderman: ....
Batman: ....
Me: *runs across the screen* WAKKA-WAKKA!!
Batman: o_O""
Spiderman: *shoots Batman in the head*
Batman: *dies*
Spiderman: And that, my friends, is the actions of a true hero!
Zell, Squall, Fujin, and Selphie: ....
Toilet: *runs across the screen*
Zell: TOILET WATERRRRRRR!!! *chases it*
Selphie and Fujin: *go into a random ninja battle*
Squall: Why me...? -_-"
Zell: *comes back on-screen with a pint of toilet water* *strokes pint* Yessss....it's okiiiiiiiieeeee me precioussssss.....KEKEKEKEKEKE!!!
DC: You know, kackling like that is bad for your appendix.
Squall: Y-....you're not even supposed to be in this story!!
DC: Yes, but does that answer why it's not butter!!?
Squall: T_T
DC: DOES IT!!?
Squall: You're an idiot.
DC: NOBODY LOVES MEEEEE!!!
Aya: Come to MOMMEH!!!
DC: EEEEP!! *runs off-screen*
Aya: *chases him with gunblade*
Squall: I can't deal with this anymore! *leaves*
Zid: .....*peeks on-screen* >_> <_< ....*goes onto the screen all the way* Well, it seems much randomness is going on right now...*steals Zell's socks* MUAHAHAHA!! I AM THE MOST EVIL OF EVIL!!
Spiderman: Hoho! All you did was steal some socks!
Zid: .....So!?
Zell: Gimme my socks back!! *takes socks from Zid, slaps him, and walks off*
Zid: ....My dreams....crushed. ;_;
Me: *walks across the screen eating popcorn* It's okay, you're still a big pimp.
Zid: Sh-....she's right...I AM a big pimp!! HOES!! *points to two cat girls* GET ME MY MONEH!!!
Catgirl #1: Wha' if we don' wanna!?
Zid: Don't back-sass me, b*tch!! *pimpslaps Catgirl #1*
Catgirl #1: Awright, awright, gawsh!!!
Catgirl #2: *takes off outfit to reveal that it's a wookie* *in squeaky voice* Yeah, smack yourself on the a**!!
Catgirl #1: O_O
Zid: O_O
Zell: O_O
Fujin and Selphie: *stop with random ninja battle suddenly* O_O *Fujin punches Selphie one last time*
Spiderman: O_O

*stops spinning in chair suddenly* O_O

Catgirl #1: How can you be suprised, narator!? You MADE that happen!!

Don't back-sass me, hoe!!

Zid: *pimpslaps Catgirl #1 again*
Catgirl #1: Awright, awright, gawsh!! *walks off with Catgirl #2 (or should I say wookie) to get Zid his money*
Zid: Yeah, you better walk off!!
Squall: *comes back suddenly* Is it over yet? -_-"
Zid: Shut up, foo'!! *pimpslaps Squall*
Squall: Ow!! What the hell was that for!!?
Zid: I said shut uuup!! *pimpslaps Squall again*
Squall: OWW!! Why do you hate me...?
Sephiroth: *runs on-screen wearing a green dress, red lipstick, purple eyeshadow, blue high-heels, a pearl necklace, and pearl earings* *in feminime voice* I'm BAAAAaaaack!! ^_^
Squall: O_O"
Zid: NUUUUUU!!! HAIRY LEEEEEEGS!!! MY WORST ENEMYYYYYY!!!
Sephiroth: *still in feminime voice* So, Squall, how do I look!? ^_^
Squall: ....Repolsive.
Sephiroth: *fire rises behind him* *in demonic voice* WHAT DID YOU SAY!!?
Squall: I SAID...you look....pretty. *barfs*
Sephiroth: *in feminime voice again* Aww, you're so sweet! ^_^
Off-screen Female Voice: Oh SEEEEEEPHiiiiiiiiiiie!!
Sephiroth: *gasp* Could that be....Kujie!?
Kuja: *runs on-screen in field of flowers* SEEEEEPHIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!! ^_^
Sephiroth: *runs after Kuja in field of flowers as well* KUUUUUUUJIIIIIIIEEE!!! ^_^

THEN THE BOTH GOT TO EACH OTHER AND CLASPED EACH OTHER'S HANDS WEEEEE!! *spinning around in a chair*

Sephiroth: *in feminime voice* Kujie! How are you? ^_^
Kuja: I'm fine, Sephie! ^_^ You look great you know.
Sephiroth: *still in feminime voice* Aww, do you really think so? Well, you have the advantage, 'cause you're already a girl! ^_^
Kuja: Yeah, but you still look great! ^_^
Sephiroth: *still in feminime voice* You too! ^_^
Zid: ....*pimpslaps Squall again*
Squall: AAH!! What is WRONG with you!?
Zid: You haven't answered why it's not butter!!
Squall: Give me a break...-_-"
Me: *runs on-screen and pimpslaps Zid* You hoe!!
Zid: What'd you call me!!?
Me: Why are you yelling at me? I simply called a good garden tool.
Zid: .....Oh.
Me: *uses Zid to make garden*
Squall: Can you end it now, narratator? PLEEEEEASE!!? *begs*
Me: Hmmm....OKEY-DOKEY!! Zid! I want you to get everyone out of here that doesn't belong!
Zid: Ay-ay, el capeetahn!! Come one peeps, let's get outta here!

And everyone starts leaving...

Kuja: Sephie...I must go.
Sephiroth: *in feminime voice* But....do you have to?
Kuja: Yes....I must. *leaves*
Sephiroth: *sniff* FAREWELL, MY KUJIIIIIE!! *sniff again* I shall miss her....;_;
Squall: Can we PLEASE continue the story now!?

Sure....in the next chapter.

Everyone: WHAT!!?

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

~yet to be continued~
 
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