Serious Friend Issue

[ff1-10]

So my update on this is that I just sent her a message saying that I haven't heard from her since I told her how I felt and I'm not sure why. I value her as a friend and am still willing to talk things out. The reason being why I said the things that I did was because I felt I wasn't being respected in the same way that I was respecting her. If I don't hear from her within a week, then I'll know she doesn't want my friendship and won't contact her anymore.

I just feel like the other two times I probably came off kind of hostile, like attack-ish and I tried putting myself in her shoes and I feel like maybe I would also feel uncomfortable contacting someone back after they said things in such a way. So this is my last attempt. I will finally rest after this, over this friendship that I have agonized over so long, even long before this happened. I knew that if I didn't do this, something in me wouldn't just sit quiet and be okay and rested at peace with this situation.

 

[Galadín]

Good for you! I hope your friend comes through for you in the end, but regardless, I'm happy you've found peace of mind.

 

[Harlequin]

ff1-10

I don't mean to be Mr Pessimistic about this but it sounds like it's going to be more of the same on both ends. She blows you off, you chase, she blows you off, you chase and so on. The problem here is you and your reliance on others. Right now you're relying on her to get back to you for closure when the whole issue is her not getting back to you in the first place. Treat the relationship for what it is and not what you want it to be, if she was such a good friend you wouldn't be where you are with this. The more you try to change it the more embittered you'll become when it invariably doesn't work out the way you want it to. Back off, live you life and maybe after a while when you guys meets by chance you'll get on just like old times.

 

[ff1-10]

That's the thing, though - how many times can you really forgive someone? I'm all for forgiveness, but there has to be a limit somewhere.

 

[Six]

Forgiveness should always be something you try first, if not for them, for yourself. I agree, though, even that has its limits. You don't want to become a bitter person by forgiving people who keep doing the same thing over and over and irritating yourself by doing so in the process.

To be honest with you though, you can be as nice as you want, you cannot prevent a poor outcome. Normally when doing so, you end up looking like the bad guy no matter what you do because you set a limit. Just remember to stick true to what you believe in, and things will work out in the end, one way or another.

 

[Bambi]

sounds like a wank mate if you ask me. her 'friendship' well isn't worth it.

I'm too old to put up with crap like that off people. If you stop making the effort with certain people you soon relalise it was only you making any effort in the first place because shock horror, you never hear from them again.

 

[rowe]

I'm late to this one, but...

Forgiveness should always be something you try first, if not for them, for yourself. I agree, though, even that has its limits. You don't want to become a bitter person by forgiving people who keep doing the same thing over and over and irritating yourself by doing so in the process.

To be honest with you though, you can be as nice as you want, you cannot prevent a poor outcome. Normally when doing so, you end up looking like the bad guy no matter what you do because you set a limit. Just remember to stick true to what you believe in, and things will work out in the end, one way or another.

This. And further, don't lose sight of yourself during these situations. It's easy to do, and difficult to come back from.

I'm too old to put up with crap like that off people. If you stop making the effort with certain people you soon relalise it was only you making any effort in the first place because shock horror, you never hear from them again.

Same. I'm less tolerant of games/BS from anyone now. Not to say I don't give a chance, but I'm not up for being played, and shut it down immediately.

Admittedly, I used to be rather forgiving, and kept up the effort to keep a "friend". I dunno... maybe I've become more bitter with age.

 

[Six]

I'm late to this one, but...


This. And further, don't lose sight of yourself during these situations. It's easy to do, and difficult to come back from.


Same. I'm less tolerant of games/BS from anyone now. Not to say I don't give a chance, but I'm not up for being played, and shut it down immediately.

Admittedly, I used to be rather forgiving, and kept up the effort to keep a "friend". I dunno... maybe I've become more bitter with age.

Very difficult to come back from.

Best thing to keep in mind is to not blame yourself for wanting to move on. Both the OP, and you, Rowe! =P I'm pretty sure in the end, we all still forgive the right people. Doesn't make it a crime to skip out on it once in a while if your gut is telling you to do so! =]

 

[Mitsuki]

This. And further, don't lose sight of yourself during these situations. It's easy to do, and difficult to come back from.


Same. I'm less tolerant of games/BS from anyone now. Not to say I don't give a chance, but I'm not up for being played, and shut it down immediately.

Admittedly, I used to be rather forgiving, and kept up the effort to keep a "friend". I dunno... maybe I've become more bitter with age.

The age part made me chuckle. Age is often the scapegoat!

As for the OP, I normally don't offer advice or criticism to sensitive issues like this because there's always two sides to a story. All I can say is that I hope you and your friend both find some peace with the situation, and most importantly, don't let anger dictate a relationship. Even if the friendship is no longer solid. Turn a negative experience into something positive. It's hard to find, but it's there, and you'll eventually realize what that is. Best of wishes to you both. =]