Serious Hmmm

[Dean Winchester]

Well I have an issue. I was asked for advise and for the first time my mind was in blank. One of my friends asked me why women were not too attracted to "nice guys", and why "nice guys" were always the best of "friends", but they were meant to be just "friends", end of story.

So I began to think, and honestly the only answer I can think off is that, "nice guys" are, maybe, too "nice", and maybe, just maybe, women tend to get tired of that.


In summary, since I couldn't give my friend an accurate answer, I just suggested him NOT to change only to please her, because then he will only become a puppet.

Any thoughts?

 

[Lirael]

No, he shouldn't change... He'll find someone who appreciates him! If anyone wants him to change, they're not worth it. :/

And girls DO like nice guys...it's just that maybe they feel these guys can become too clingy? Girls are weird. I don't even understand them.

Hmm, each girl is different, so I'm sure there are a variety of reasons why "nice guys" don't always get girls.

How about this? Maybe some girls fear breaking up with the nastier guys 'cause they fear being threatened and such. Others might, as you say, grow bored of nice guys. Erm, there could also be affecting factors. :/ And its also possible that the nicer guys look for something long term, which can scare many teenagers. =P There are girls who want something long term too...but I've noticed that there seem to be more nicer guys around who want something long term. :/ Most of my friends aren't ready for that. SOMETIMES nice guys become possessive, as a friend told me her boyfriend was.

The thing is, at this age, feelings change often. :/ My friend's recently expressed how sorry she is 'cause she no longer feels the same about her boyfriend (could be an ex now...) who she still thinks is sweet. She hates to ruin things, but her feelings changed. She's only 14 so that's not a huuge surprise really.

That was all a bit muddled, but I gave some points to reflect on...

 

[Morrigan]

It's just like men prefer b*tch women that make them suffer over a nice,reserved girls.

Nah,actually I think that happens because we get very obsessed over someone who doesn't accept us from the first time and want to win him/her.(I don't know if this makes much sense so I'm sorry)

Things become worse when you try to change who you are in order to please or to become liked by others,because simply you are not meant to be what they like.And changing yourself will result to your own embarrassment and you getting hurt.Worst of all she still won't accept him or might even take advantage of him.

It's like you want a peach,but instead of a peach in your house there is a banana.The banana in order to please you tries to act like a peach,taste like the peach,smell like the peach...but whatever it does or you do to it,it cannot change the fact that it's a banana.(except if you're a wizard or a witch and cast magic on it).

The wrong with the nice guys in my opinion is that they give in easily and when in love they become selfless,maybe that's what the girls I hate.They want someone who is master of himself and which not necessarily means he has to be one of those "bad guys" in order to be able to do that.

 

[Donald Trump]

Firstly I think the whole " wimminz doesn't like nice guise" is a pathetic generalisation that comes from people that consider themselves too nice to get laid.
That generalisation blames the women, and not the person.

This is such a cliche and I despise myself for saying it but, you are right, tell him to be himself.
Perhaps if he just wants to tap and gap, then changing so she likes him just to get laid would be alright from his point of view.
However you can't have a relationship that works being someone that you aren't.
People either like you for who you are or they don't like you. Changing to suit other people is pathetic really.

 

[Deleted member 176]

People want what they can't have, and people want a challenge. It's a human flaw.

You look at anything, you want it, you get it, now you don't want it. Sex - Sex is awesome, after you've had it though it's a while before you want it again.
Money: People who have none want it, people who have it don't care.

Relationships are the same. If a girl gets whatever she wants when she wants it from a guy, she'll get bored and lose interest. It affects girls more simply because it's harder for most guys to just go get another girl just like that

 

[Coco]

I think Decado summed it up, really. You want what you can't have.

I personally tend to get fed up quickly of guys that are too nice. My definition of nice being, too mushy, too open and too concerned. Not that I'm saying that I don't like these traits, but too much is sickening.

Its usually when there is this air of mystery around a boy that intrigues girls and attracts them. I wonder what he is thinking? I wonder if he likes me? I wonder how he sees me?

Questions like that keep us interested.

Getting back on topic, I think that if he wants a particular girl, he shouldn't be open right away. There'll be plenty of time to open up later, but for the first few weeks, keep her at bay.

If unsuccessful.. Meh, maybe it's not for him then.

 

[Dean Winchester]

So I did the right thing by telling him that. Good, for an instant I thought I gave out one of my typical "Dr House's" comments and screwed it. Honestly I am in quite a fix too. I graduated from High School months ago and the younger sister of one of my best friends actually admitted she liked me.

I was like "Uh....well...but she is my best friend's sister...weird...". I was like her diary because she told me things about her past relationships that were quite awkward to know (well I just stayed there listening...like I always do...). For example, one day she burst out crying because the other guy she liked left her and he was not going to return.

Again, I gave out one of my Dr House's comments (can't help it, I am like his clone...>__>) and told her: "Look, if he left, then you'll meet another one who will value you more and will be a hell lot better. Mistakes are there to help us understand life a bit more....so....stop crying...and ...whatever..."


Also she made the same horrible mistake; she changed to please him. So in summary, the whole story repeats again.

Then she came out with this "I like you, you are cool and whatever..."
Dudes, she even questioned why I spent a lot of time reading. Heck it is MY book, I bought it for a reason. She also asked me why I was always so quiet, I replied "I am not very talkative...I enjoy the sound of "silence"..."Hard to avoid being too insensitive sometimes....>__> can't open myself so easily...

Anyways, there's the other girl I like, and she stated clearly the "friend's zone" and I was like, "shit", but three days after much deliberation I was "The hell, there are many women out there and lucky me that 75% of the students at my college are kinda hot women. Someday I'll meet the right woman for me"



On a side note....
I do like sensitive girls...I find them interesting, mysterious and cute. So nice girls are kinda heart melting...






























Pretend I didn't say that

 

[Prince Oberyn Martel]

I kinda do the whole Dr.House thing too.

Girls have been confusing the fuck out of me lately though. A good friend of mine who I had fancied for ages clearly gave the 'just friends' impression and I accepted it....yet ended up bedding her not long after and SHE made the first move (a relationship didn't take off tho). It's like you feel you've gotten your head around everything and suddenly it all turns around even more!

 

[Oddsocks]

It's not about being nice, it's about relaxing and just being yourself all the time. That's what is attractive. It's just that the people who are capable of relaxing into themselves regardless of company tend to be rather unpleasant characters. This is also partly why you find the girls you see as friends but also would not dream of dating are more likely to be attracted to you than the girls you are after. It's nothing to do with who you are, it's just with the friend you present yourself with less restraint and are not trying to impress anyone, this is when you are most attractive as you appear a more rounded and decent human being. I've also noticed that once people enter a relationship, they will become more attractive. This is largely due to them suddenly becoming more confident in themselves; they have bagged the prize and no longer need to try so hard in social circles, thus relaxing into their true characters more and ultimately becoming more desirable to others who see this and think "hey, that's how i want to be. maybe if i get with them i'll be happy too!"

These desires are largely seeing something you want for yourself in the other person, not the other person themselves.

Easier said than done, really. What can you do about becoming more confident and presenting yourself as who you are to people? Not a lot, I'm afraid. At least not right here, right now. It's a long and complicated process, one that takes years. It takes a lot of practice and this is where many people fall short; the practice. People are afraid of going out there and failing. However, how can you possibly hope to succeed without first failing? There are very difficult times when you feel completely inadequate, but you have to remind yourself that it is all in your head and you need to push yourself forward. It takes a strong will, but eventually you will progress until one day you'll look back on the past few years and realise how much you've grown as a person.

Personally, I found that putting a lot of effort into my physical appearance has helped a great deal. That is, in the form of regular exercise and working out my body. After time my physical strength grew and my muscles tightened, and this alone made me feel more confident in myself. It's a hard feeling to put into words, but growing physically and feeling good about what you have can make all the difference in the world. It really is an amazing feeling to look in the mirror and think "awwhh yeahh i'm looking pretty good right now". A lot of people would call that egotism, but that really doesn't bother me. Even if it is, at the end of the day I'm feeling really good about myself; and that's all that matters.

Getting what you want out of relationships with the opposite sex is also largely about honesty, but that topic is for another day...

That's my two cents, anyways. I really didn't expect this to be an essay but hey, I guess I got carried away bahaha! Enjoy.

 

[General Q]

I've always found that I need to spend some serious alone time with myself before venturing out into the social world, because confidence comes from within (obviously). You really have to be content with looking at yourself in the mirror and approving of what you see before you can go out there and interact with others. Otherwise you're constantly judging yourself based on someone else's set of standards, and that's never good.