Homophobia

[Ohri-Jin]

Is tht the right way to spell it?

I had a major discussion with Frank Fontaine about homophobia.
I stated tht all gaymen are sissies.

Was I out of line? It might have been disrespectful and I apologize if I am.
But he called me a homophobic.

What is a homophobic precisely?
I have no issues with homos. They are still human beings.

What I do think is disgusting are men with children and are married and meet with men to havr sex with.

What I dont like are feminine homo sexuals.
I dont have issues with lesbians either.

Basicly I dont dislike homo sexuals as long they dont stick it my face or in public.

Does this make me homophobic?
Do I hate them? Am I afraid of them or something?

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

you dislike gay men, but not gay women, and you dislike the fact that gay men have sex with one another. i'm pretty sure that classifies you as homophobic.

 

[Richard B Riddick]

I would rather not see hairy gay men wearing sundresses in public.

Does that make me a homophobe?

Of course, its always possible you're not a homophobe.

Everyone else could be a heterophobe!!

We have religionphobes, too, sometimes.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

I dislike gaymen that are married and has children tht have sex with other men yes.
I dont mind gaymen as long as they dont do it in public.

EDIT:

I meantgaymen married to women tht dont even know their husbands are gay.
Gay marriage I dont mind.

I should have doublechecked my thread lol.

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

sex in public is illegal whether you're homo or heterosexual, and no one really likes to see it. you're digging yourself a hole.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

Kissing either and read the post before tht pls. I dont like seeing men kissing in public. Does tht make me a homophobe?

 

[Gaige]

If it's alright for a man and a woman to make out in public, then it's fine for a man and a man or a woman and a woman to make out in public as well. It's two people on a date, in love, whatever.

TBH the whole "as long as I don't have to see it it's OK," thing is a flawed thought pattern. If you saw a hetero couple and a homo couple making out in the same place, would you go tell the latter to stop and let the former continue? If so, yeah, that's a homophobic tendency.

And by feminine gay do you mean camp? Because even though I'm more or less gay myself that does kind of annoy me too.

 

[Sepalcure]

If you are fearful of or express hatred towards someone who identifies as a homosexual, then that makes you a homophobe. You fear the idea of their unionizing together, kbeing publicly demonstrative of their affections and love for one another, and you dislike if they marry a woman who is not aware of their orientation. It would be wrong to marry a woman in good faith and keep her in the dark about your sexuality and then raise her children--the ones you biologically fathered. What if they were to find out you were secretly gay and carrying on with men? You cheated, regardless of the gender you cheated with, yes ... that is wrong.

However, if you dislike the fact that a man marries a woman and is either unaware or fearful of admitting his gayness then in essence that makes you a homophobe. There are a variety of reasons why a gay man might marry a heterosexual woman and eventually "come out of the closet" years later after fathering her children. He could be scared or insecure about embracing this sexuality that he might have tried so hard to suppress--I think it's unfair to judge or express bigotry towards someone who intentionally tries to suppress something they are not comfortable publicly announcing. However if they continue to be with this woman and lead her in the dark and never enlighten her of the true nature and extent of their sexual preference for men, then they're leading her on.

I do think that these men should eventually embrace their sexuality and admit to their heterosexual wives that they are sexually and/or romantically attracted to the same sex. Yes. Spare them their feelings and weaken their heartache by being sincere when you do accept your sexual preference.

You dislike the fact that a gay man can be and chooses to be sexually intimate with other men; that, by definition, also makes you a homophobe. If I was a lesbian and if I had a female partner whom I loved and cared for very much; should I be shunned for wanting to kiss her and hug her in public? Why is that any different than a heterosexual couple kissing tenderly and holding hands in public? Why is that so taboo? I'm just asking these questions as a way to find out why it unsettles you so?

 

[Tucker]

If you are fearful of or express hatred towards someone who identifies as a homosexual, then that makes you a homosexual.

Ummm...I don't think you'd be a complete "homophobe" if you are fine with gay marriage. I think you are a half homophobe However, I don't really use that term, it sounds like you have a wretched disease. And it also means you are scared, which you really aren't, you are just not supportive of it.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

Look I dont like seeing two men kissing in public but I would never intervene or adress them. Im not hypocritical like tht. I never called names deliberately to genuinely hurt ppl for their love interests.

Feminine gaymen those tht act like women. Like awmygawd etc.

I have a transvestite at my work and I always greet her because she is still a human being. I have no right to judge anyone. I just dont like certain situations. Reason I made this is thread is because I dont think im homophobic and if I am I would be disappointed in myself cause I would never hurt anyone deliberately.

 

[Sepalcure]

Ummm...I don't think you'd be a complete "homophobe" if you are fine with gay marriage. I think you are a half homophobe However, I don't really use that term, it sounds like you have a wretched disease. And it also means you are scared, which you really aren't, you are just not supportive of it.

My apologies, I should have said you can be tolerant. Tolerance is different than fear, you don't have to adamantly like something to tolerate it. You can just pay no mind to it and not have it personally affect you.
Ohri-Jin: Well then, if you know that you're not a homophobe, you've already answered your question. What you label yourself and tell yourself you are is how you will be viewed because you project that mentality. If you know that you are tolerant of homosexuals but can not tolerate when they are publicly kissing or hugging, then that is fine. If you know that you wouldn't publicly throw a tangent telling them to stop kissing because to you it is disgusting, then that's also fine. I should've clarified ...

If you were to be physically aggressive and cause bodily harm to two men because they kissed in front of you--that is expressing hatred. If you do it intentionally meaning to project that hatred on to them then you're homophobic. However, if you are MERELY tolerant of their actions even though you dislike it, then you are being respectful of their right to being publicly affectionate. If you greet a transgendered or homosexual person and do not judge them based on their sexual preference or let that mar your perception of them--then that is tolerance. Tolerance is all good and well; it's when you express hatred towards a group of people who embrace their sexual orientation BECAUSE of their being homosexuals that you become homophobic and project a homophobic mentality.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

sneakerpimp441

Adultery always wrong indeed, but yeah if a guy tht is gay or bi-curious still marries a woman, I still think he should not have children with tht woman. Like I said i dont mind homosexuals for there love interests but in some cases Its unacceptable imo.
Starburst

You hit the nail there.

 

[Bambi]

I don't liek seeing anyone practically humping in public, couldnt give a shit if youre a gay or straight couple, PDA just knocks me sick. Get a room

 

[Ohri-Jin]

Sneakerpimp you are right. I am homophobic then. I fear them yes.
But sometimes I think ppl misuse the word and toss it around so easily. Some ppl believes tht homophobics actually hate or are disgusted by homosexuals., but thats not true. I dont hate them. Just anxious. Afraid. Because im not used to it.

 

[Sepalcure]

sneakerpimp441

Adultery always wrong indeed, but yeah if a guy tht is gay or bi-curious still marries a woman, I still think he should not have children with tht woman. Like I said i dont mind homosexuals for there love interests but in some cases Its unacceptable imo.
Starburst

You hit the nail there.

I said it in a generalized sense--I presented it in a medial way, not really expressing my dissent or consent to that particular subject. Granted ... I agree with you, if a homosexual man fathers children for a straight woman and fails to ever admit to her that he was sexually and/or romantically attracted to men then that is totally wrong. He has led her on and given her a false representation of himself--he has masqueraded as a straight man and he has lied not only to her but also to himself. Very wrong. I do frown upon that, yes. I don't hate them thought and I don't fear them for performing that action but I do feel for the woman in those instances. Fran Drescher, a famous actress in the States from the Nanny show was married to a gay man and she didn't know for years until he finally came out to her. They're still friends to this day however so I suppose you can't totally fault some gay men. Sometimes they are truly fearful of how society and how their wife would ever accept that inveterate truth about them--so they keep it buried for a long, long time. And when it becomes unbearable and it aches like a sore and they can no longer keep it trapped in their closet, then they let it out.

They have their reasons ... no matter whether you disagree or find them horrid for doing what they do.
That said ...

Sneakerpimp you are right. I am homophobic then. I fear them yes.
But sometimes I think ppl misuse the word and toss it around so easily. Some ppl believes tht homophobics actually hate or are disgusted by homosexuals., but thats not true. I dont hate them. Just anxious. Afraid. Because im not used to it.

Well you can be either or: you can either fear the very idea of them copulating and adopting children and raising them, for instance. However, you can vehemently hate them for simply kissing or just expressing their gayness and their pride of being gay. You can both fear and hate them for being gay or cross-dressing or being a "lipstick lesbian" (basically a lesbian who dresses in a feminine manner yet is sexually/romantically attracted to other women).

Me? Personally? I am tolerant and an adamant supported of LGBT rights; I support same-sex marriage, I think it should be legalized. I think that gay parents should be able to raise children and adopt them as they wish. I don't agree with them being discriminated, publicly harassed, or bullied for their orientation. At the end of the day, I think they are just like me--we bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA strands ... scientific facts aside though, why should i judge them? How can I judge them when one of my family members identifies as being one of their very own? Embraces that community and lifestyle and sticks by it no matter what. I admire them for that. More power to them. I'll always support them and stick up for that community. Always.

But anyways ... I'm glad that you can admit it and I don't hate you and can't judge you for it. Not everyone will feel comfortable with what they're unused to--it's a part of human nature. But you're not aggressive towards them or anything, like you said, so it's fine.

 

[Ohri-Jin]

Sneakerpimp you answered everything I wanted to know. I thank you for your part in this.

 

[Dionysos]

I don't like seeing two men kissing in public either, but I also don't like heterosexual couples kissing in public. Any couple that make a big scene out in public I just try to ignore. Sometimes it must be because their desire for one another is impossible to control for a half hour train journey because the trains do not offer cold showers. In other reasons it is akin to animals peeing to mark out their territory. A sort of 'this area is mine, look what I have' gesture. It's not all like that latter statement, but sometimes you get the feeling that people do that for that. It's very awkward regardless of the gender and sexuality of the people when you are sat behind / stood near two people all over each other. You don't want to invade their privacy by looking or acknowledging their presence, but at the same time they may be stood right at a place you need to look... Like in front of your own face. They've taken what should be private and thrown it out in front of everyone. I'm not keen on that. That's just me though.

So that aspect I can understand.


But I must say that not all gay men are 'sissies', and not all sissies are gay men. A lot of transvestites can turn out to be straight men. I'm not just talking about comedians such as Eddie Izzard (who isn't really a sissy anyway), but I've known of transvestites who are very straight.

Likewise there are other identities for gay men than sissies. Some of the more common comical archetypes (which can be equally insulting, but are also equally exploited by some of the gay community) is the whole 'bear' thing, and the lumberjack image. These are the most manly of men who happen to be gay. Comedy often exploits these archetypes almost as much as the sissie-man image. Perhaps even more so. It's a form of exaggerated masculinity that excludes women entirely from the lives of men who can only love each other.

But in reality gender is a lot more flexible. Gender can shift and change as we do. Sexuality can also be very complicated. It's not always a very simple thing that people know from the moment of birth. For many people it is a journey to discover what you are, and what you are comfortable with. It's possible to love people in different ways also, which can also be a bit confusing for people. It's not necessarily a lifestyle choice. Then again, you could argue that with anything our brain puts into our mind. It's just a complicated thing.

 

[Richard B Riddick]

At the end of the day, I think they are just like me--we bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA strands ... scientific facts aside though, why should i judge them? How can I judge them?

It annoys me when people say things like this ^.

-Republicans bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Justin Bieber fans bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Ron Paul supporters bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Conspiracy theorists bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Rapists bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Serial killers bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?

Obviously, we're judgemental individuals living in a judgemental society and judging people based on things that should be considered insignificant and unimportant is an integral part of reality.

Gays are judged just like everyone else.

Suggesting that gays should not be judged, that they should be considered above criticism or that judging them is 'wrong' is where things begin to get screwy.

 

[Sepalcure]

It annoys me when people say things like this ^.

-Republicans bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Justin Bieber fans bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Ron Paul supporters bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Conspiracy theorists bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Rapists bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?
-Serial killers bleed the same blood, have 99.9% of the same DNA, how can we judge them?

Obviously, we're judgemental individuals living in a judgemental society and judging people based on things that should be considered insignificant and unimportant is an integral part of reality.

Gays are judged just like everyone else.

Suggesting that gays should not be judged, that they should be considered above criticism or that judging them is 'wrong' is where things begin to get screwy.

We're not discussing anything about politicians, rapists, serial killers, etc. Of course EVERYONE is judged and judges on different criteria. You're throwing out rather ludicrous examples. What I was trying to state was that I personally can not judge someone and refuse to judge someone on the pretense of their sexual orientation. Their identifying as a gay, straight, transgendered, or bi-sexual person does not affect my opinion of them. That's like if I were gay and I judged someone solely because they were straight, what does their loving a person of an opposite gender have ANYTHING to do with me? Nothing. It has nothing to do with me, it does not affect my perceptions or assumptions of their character--I should not and do not judge someone based on whom they choose to lay down with and love. I wasn't raised to do that, I was raised to be tolerant.

Comparing a rapist, someone who defiles and actively sexually assaults women or men or both genders is incomparable to someone who merely identifies as being a gay person. They're two different people with two different labels. As for the politician example, what if that politician was gay or a lesbian? Could I decide to say NOT vote for them because I already judged them based on their orientation or because of their occupation (i.e He's gay so he must act this way or think this way or talk this way; or He's a politican so he must be full of lies and he's going to corrupt us all so I won't vote for him. I hate all politicians) -- Note, what's in the brackets are exemplary and do not reflect my personal opinions on politicians or gay people.

You get annoyed when people state that we all bleed the same, fine. Go ahead and get annoyed at me for believing that sentiment. All I was trying to illustrate to the OP was that I do not judge someone solely because of their sexual orientation; it's the same reason I won't judge you because of your religious preference, your racial and ethnic background, or because of your cultural beliefs. You may judge me on either one of those facets that I identify with and that's fine. My being a politician doesn't make me THAT much different from you, my being heterosexual or bi-sexual should not make me THAT much different form you. You may judge me on those pretenses, okay. We're only human, we all judge each other to some degree, but I can only speak for myself. I'll say it again, I won't judge someone because of their sexual orientation because where would that get me? How would that other person perceive me if I were to just scoff at them because they're a lesbian or because they don't want to sleep with their opposite sex? That's their choice and I should respect that. Do I have to like what they do? No. Do I have to respect them even though I should because it's only fair that I do if they do the same to me? No, I don't HAVE to and if I don't than shame on me, shame on me, they would think and they shouldn't feel any inclination to respect me if they choose not to. Respecting and tolerating people for their differences in lifestyle and sexual preference is a choice not a privilege. When you treat it as a privilege and not as a choice, THEN it becomes skewed and conflicts will result. When one person disagrees with another person for choosing not to tolerate a gay person or choosing to support them in their endeavors and preferences--then it becomes an issue.

I choose to support them and not judge them solely on THAT preference they identify with and feel comfortable with; it doesn't make me any lesser or more of a person than you or anyone else.

 

[Richard B Riddick]

What I was trying to state was that I personally can not judge someone and refuse to judge someone on the pretense of their sexual orientation. Their identifying as a gay, straight, transgendered, or bi-sexual person does not affect my opinion of them. That's like if I were gay and I judged someone solely because they were straight, what does their loving a person of an opposite gender have ANYTHING to do with me? Nothing.

What does someone being a fan of Justin Bieber have anything to do with anyone? I wouldn't be surprised if Justin Bieber fans got more hate and oppression than gays do. The same may be said of those who support Ron Paul, republicans and those who believe in conspiracy theories.

What you're really doing is reciting the modern day mantra that gays should be considered above criticism.

Its a disguised attempt to deprive people of freedom of speech on the issue, in that anyone who disagrees with gays or dislikes gays is demonized and ostracized for having an opinion.

If I said that I knew gay dudes who hung out in park benches at night on a regular basis jerking off with other gays. And, gays who did other disgusting things which gave me a negative opinion of homosexuals in general, you would probably say I was wrong for judging gays or having an opinion that didn't mirror your own and that therefore I was a "bigot" and "homophobe".

What's the point in people talking about being open minded and tolerant when all they do is try to limit freedom of speech on the gay issue and persecute anyone who doesn't adhere to your personal views on the topic?

Let's make a deal.

If people stop judging conspiracy theorists, religious people, justin bieber & lady gaga fans, republicans, ron paul supporters and others -- I'll stop judging gays.

Why should people make a fuss about how gays shouldn't be judged and ignore all other examples of judgmentalism present in society? Why do gays merit special treatment?

I bet a ton of the people who are most vocal about "not judging" gays are the most judgmental, oppressive and douchebaggy people in existence.

If you want an example look at Perez Hilton and the Miss USA pageant candidate. That's a pretty decent example of someone being intolerant and oppressive towards freedom of speech, I'm thinking.