Serious I'm so sad it's painful.

Summoner Yuna

Summoner Yuna

The pirate and the princess
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May 10, 2007
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Moravia, Costa Rica
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My father died yesterday and I went to his funeral today, but I'm sad beyond relief. All the things that I liked like watching movies, playing games, etc. seem so meaningless. I miss him already and it aches me to think that I'll never see him again. I'm so depressed that I can't even concentrate in studying. How do I cope with this awful pain? I have my mom and all of my other relatives whom I love but somehow something feels missing.
 
Omfg. =(

I can't even begin to imagine losing anyone in my life, much less my parents. People who come through that must be so brave. One of my friends actually lost his dad to a sudden heart attack just before the hohlidays and I have no idea how he's managed to cope with it. I can only guess that it's true what they say about time being the only cure.

So sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure most of us will be around if you just need a chat.

x
 
=/ I'm sorry to hear that, Sofia...I can't even begin to imagine how painful it must be for you. The pain is fresh, so for now, don't worry about coping with the pain. It's there, it'll never go away, but it will subside in time. Spend time with your family - I'm sure you guys need each other.

If you need to talk, you know where to find me. -Hugs-
 
i felt the same way when my grandmother died a year and half ago. it felt like nothing could ever make me feel the same again. but after some time passed, i began to see everything in a clearer light. i had the rest of my family to help cope with the pain, and i'm so glad that you have yours to help you as well.

now when i think of her, it's easy to remember the good things and difficult to remember the bad. stay strong. even though it's cliche, the night is always darkest before dawn.
 
Well, if you end up becoming depressed, I suggest anti-depressants. And I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. It has been almost a year since my Grandfather passed away from pancreatic cancer. :( Anywho, get well soon.
 
Oh wow hun, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can only begin to imagine how incredibly painful it must be for you. I do know what it feels like to lose those close to you, but not a parent. Right now, being with your family is the most important thing. Be there and support one another because you all need each other. We're all here for you as well if you need anything from us, just need to talk or need some free hugs. :hug: Take care hun.
 
Grief, pain and sorrow are a natural part of life, there is no avoiding pain. There is no rule about coping with pain, it's something we all do in different ways. Some people concentrate fully on work, or in your case study. Other people do no work at all.
I think you have to do what comes naturally, don't go out of your way to do something. Like Mandi said, friends and family are very important when coping with losing someone. I was fortunate enough to have friends that supported me and put up with me for over a month. Your friends and family will understand what you're dealing with so they'll be there to help you.
I know this is a cliche, but time really does help, the pain will lessen and you'll be able to think of all the positive memories.

I'd also stay away from anti-depressants, alcohol and drugs. The help for a day, but you feel worse afterwards.
 
Oh no.. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I won't say the common responses, because that won't make you feel better.. I hope you can get through this though. Be strong and Sayuri is right. You need to stay with your family and support each other right now. Take care. Talk to us when you have to.
 
That's horrible. You have my condolences.
Take comfort in one thing, though... your father would not want his death to ruin your life.

I lost my mother when I was eight, and I barely knew her. I got over the sorrow gradually, but it can still come back, rarely.
 
I hope you get better and I'm very sorry for your loss =/

Don't say that everything that you ever did with your father is pointless. It's good that you knew him instead of not having him at all. I'm sure he's proud of all the good things you did.
I lost my cat last year. Even a loss of a pet hurts me so...
But your heart has to go on. You can do it ;)
 
Although it might be awkward to say, but death somehow gives purpose and meaning to life, however; this does not mean to make the loss less painful nor bearable. In life, we must understand that infinity is not, unfortunately, tied to our existence and as mortal creatures we will, one way or another, meet our definitive end. It does not actually matters how we are born or how we die, the only thing that matters is what we do in between. The achievements we had or might have, the pain and sorrow we had endured and that we will continue to bear, and the strength we will need to recur to in order to overcome such trials.

I have already had losses already, but in each case I was prepared. I know there is no successful way to be fully prepared against the loss of a loved one, but I still try. It might sound weird as well, but I try not to grow to attached to anyone in order to make it hurt less when they pass away. I feel, that if I ever pass away anytime soon, I would not like anyone grieving for me. I do not recommend you to do this, for the cost is high because it means to be somehow "alone".

Just try to remember not why he died. Do waste time trying to find the "what", the "how, neither the "when" or the "why". Try to remember for what he lived, and what he has done for you. Try to always bear in mind how important he was in your life. Believe me, in the memories of our loved ones is the only way to obtain "immortality".
 
I know how you feel... My dad died in a murder-suicide this year, only a week before his birthday... I felt the same way that you do, but you'll get through this. You have family and friends to get you through this. So get through this, k? Its okay to brood, but don't let it ruin your life.
 
I know how you feel i lost an aunt i never knew my grandpa on my father's side and my aunt i felt so horrible but the thing that i tried was to think that now they are in a better place one without pain and suffering and that they are always in my heart no matter what.
 
Yes, as cliche as it is, time really does heal all wounds. It really does lessen the pain. Over time, you'll start enjoying the things you love again. You'll feel less physical and mental pain. You'll eventually be able to think of your father, and instead of crying and feeling the most unbearable pain imaginable, you'll be reminded of all the good things you two shared together. The things you enjoyed about him, and the times you laughed with one another.

Don't push yourself to study, or do the things you love. Don't expect anything either. It's unfair to expect yourself to start feeling better within x amount of time. It's unfair to get mad or annoyed with yourself, or your loss of interest in the things you love. And yes, you still love them, but you're grieving, and that exceeds any feeling at the moment.

Don't feel worried if you're coping with this pain in a different way than everybody else. And don't worry if you're not coping as well as anyone wants you to. Don't worry if you feel like you're not going to cope, never going to enjoy things again, or smile again. It's unfair to yourself.

I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with such a tremendous loss.

Being with your family and friends will help. You will be able to support one another. As previously mentioned by Kasabian, I would also stay away from the anti-depressants. From personal experience, I fully agree with him. They take away the pain, all the negative, drowning feelings, but in turn, replace them with a lack of feeling.
 
One thing to not do when you have lost someone close to you.
Dont take those meds because it wont help i just makes it worse trust me when my grandpa died i did that and it just made me horrible just dont let it ruin your life and if you are still in school talk to a consleur and he?she will help.
 
It's something we will all have to experience. I do not look forward to the day. I love both of my parents completely. But life is life. Your pain of loss is how we deal with these things. Let it run it's course. Time is the only healing factor in these situations that I can see.

I am sorry
I won't even pretend to know how you feel since one does not know until they go through it.

Peace
Blitz
 
One thing to not do when you have lost someone close to you.
Dont take those meds because it wont help i just makes it worse trust me when my grandpa died i did that and it just made me horrible just dont let it ruin your life and if you are still in school talk to a consleur and he?she will help.
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Many people with depression have benefited from medication (commonly antidepressants and antipsychotics). Certain people react badly to certain brands of these meds, but psychiatrists (most of them, anyway; some are not trustworthy; one of my psychiatrists was at fault with my meds, which caused me to be hospitalized...) know what they're doing and whether or not the brand/dose/whatever needs to be changed. Short-term meds such as Alprazolam (or Xanax) are bad, though, and are comparable to the flat-on-your-ass-later effects of alchohol. They CAN be beneficial, but the real issue that lies behind them that they're hard to use properly.

Therapy and in-school-therapy are quite beneficial, yes. They know more about what to tell you in order to help you than most people... You might be coming down with depression, which is perfectly normal, considering that someone so dear to you has died. I've experienced depression (and hospitalization), but it wasn't caused by a death, so I honestly don't know what advice I can give you other than this. Even if you don't have or develop severe depression, therapy is the way to go, in my opinion (although, some therapists are quite air-headed and unhelpful, unfortunatly..). People have different ways of coping, and one of the main purposes of therapy is for the therapist to help you develop coping skills. But some people manage to get out of it themselves (often along with other family members and friends) after time passes.
 
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As a friend of mine once said, "Life is too short to waste it worrying about death, Live for the moment, Live for now, Live life to its fullest"

everyone at some time or another loses someone close, but its how we choose to remember that person that counts, would that person want you to suffer in silence? would they want you to spend a large portion of your life grieving and getting over there death? no they would want you to live for the day and remember them through your actions and through the good times you shared...


Everyone has the right to grieve a loss, but dont keep yourself in that hole for too long, I'm a firm believer in spirits and that they will be watching over you...Make them proud!
 
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