Poetry just something i wrote.

[Shael-BurizaDo]

>the light from my life<

once i break through the clearing, i must use, hearing
although this, fortress perview begets solitude, i know, i must
i continue, faking nothing, leering in supposed thought,
though regretfully, nearing the pulse, presence, the envelope of wind,
something never, tried with loose elements, never,
pried open by thought, but yet, not often held, empty and lost
sand pours, as it catches light, nothing fancy, flight, or sound
snaking to the truth, breaking, and bound, what i find, in the
chest of this power, is only my last, my once thought of, and
things still to come, dreaming in pain i feed, on this
looking back always, and never, coming to an end
because, of the beauty, the pain
and reference to my pen, this broken, this name

 

[Sexy Beast]

I like it. The over-useage of commas were actually beneficial to the flow of the poem, but could of used a period in the there somewhere to give me a breathing time, but hey you pulled off a great poem, so I like you for that.

 

[Shael-BurizaDo]

>the shadows i cannot see<

they are me, these darkness, these lights
i would pay them to be, unfair, of course, this life
presents when my hands, full of harshness,
perhaps i do not count, or lost plans, presented a course,
scratch of the wood, in night, absence, sounds
like i heard right, i will explore then, look for it,
and find might, something so small, me, they are
waiting for, the dreary silhouette, i let the dance,
until i look away, back again
eyes open, no sight

 

[Benrir]

good poems, almost the equivalent of a good spring...something like that. you could make a profession like this