Kids Growing up too Fast?

der Astronom

der Astronom

Is a bigot for agreeing with Jim
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I suspect this might still be a problem now, but back when I was in grade 3, the kids around me knew some really strange sex terms. They talked about their "crushes", they laughed at me when I said "I did it!" in a non sexual way, and I guess I wouldn't be surprised if they went out on dates. That might be more normal if they were closer to grade 7 and high school, but no; these kids were only eight.

Thanks to them, I lost my childhood innocence.

But children who are only eight aren't anywhere near puberty, and shouldn't be thinking about these things. Instead of worrying about adult responsibilities and thinking that knowing these sex jokes and having "crushes" makes them more mature, I personally think they should just enjoy being kids and do what normal eight year olds do. Which would simply be to enjoy hanging out with friends, not worrying about having boyfriends or girlfriends, playing at some playground, joining summer camps, playing Legoes, playing board games, or even video games.

Your childhood stories or your views on this are appreciated.
 
I completely agree with you. I've lost count to how many times I've seen and heard 2nd and 3rd graders say to their friends, "Your boyfriend's looking for you" and then hear giggles right after. And then a few months ago, my 11-year-old sister announced that she had just broken up with her 8 or 9 year-old boyfriend. :holyshit: Now that really shocked us. I really don't wanna hear about my siblings kissing other kids and talk about their crushes all day long, but alas, it happens alright.

But of course, this doesn't really surprise me anymore. I was aware that kids are indeed growing up too fast when I was only 6 years old, but I'd rather not get into my personal experiences.

Anyway, it's really only to be expected too because of the media. They see and hear things everyday, especially from their peers.
 
I agree wholeheartedly. Kids do seem to be "growing up" too quickly, beyond their level of maturity and comprehension. An eight year-old needn't know of sex and obscenities, nor will they be mature enough to make their own decisions for themselves for another decade.

Yes, I was exposed to expletives myself by other kids, maybe not so much in primary school, but definitely in secondary. I was, however, more mature and responsible than others most of the time, and didn't usually resort to using such words. Many children think that such words will make them all mature, but that is untrue. They are swear words, which should not be used lightly. -__-

Children can't act responsibly and reasonably most of the time. You expose them to things, they pick them up, even if they don't understand them. In fact, most kids understand very little. They are vulnerable, and must be protected against such exposure. Relationships? Eight is far too young for that. Okay, immature children have had playful "relationships" throughout all of history. Not a new thing, and no harm from come from it, really. It gives them some experience in dealing with their emotions.
I think this includes young teenagers, up to the age of fifteen at the very least. Even most 17-18 year-olds are immature, naive, and lack good judgement. However, they are usually grown up enough to understand what sex and obscenities mean, and won't be nearly as gullible.


Hah, irony, as I am seventeen myself.
 
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Well, I wouldn't mind it if they were in high school--they are going through puberty and experience lots of hormonal changes. Nonetheless, you're right about throwing around sex terms does not equate maturity. And they do have sex ed when you're in grade 7 or something, so it's impossible not to know what it is--just that before puberty, you'll probably say it's disgusting, and then after, you accept it, but what you choose to do with that knowledge is what constitutes to maturity.

But when you're in grade 3, then that's the problem--you're not supposed to know about it or care about it. I guess some people are just better at looking for their parents' porn stash than others.
 
I agree completely. I remember, I was in fifth grade, seeing 10 year old kids talking about masturbation and porn. And me, being, y'know, normal, I found them to be idiots. And who here's seen the movie good luck chuck? now, that movie was not that good, but the first scene showed 8,9,10 year old kids discussing sex, that they learned about from listening to adults talking. That scene had a bit of truth, since kids might be talking about crushes and sex and stuff like that so young by hearing relatives or from tv.
 
I noticed this as well when walking through a store and heard some 10 or 11 year olds cursing like it's no problem. It made me really think of what was really going on with society. But as I say this, I remember being 9 and, for some reason, I always thought about sex O_O. I find it weird that at that age I'd be thinking of these things. One factor could be older siblings talking about these things...I grew up with two older brothers, so some more mature things were heard/seen. That's my theory, at least.
 
Fair enough. Another thing that bugs me is how some people think that minors can make their own important decisions. Most can't, really. Children don't have a sophisticated view or any experience to help them make critical decisions. A child's mind is simple and inexperienced. You can hardly expect most 16 year-olds to be able to make the right decisions about their own future. They might have some motivation to live whatever dreams they might have, but is it really what they're built to do?
Most childhood dreams shatter when people learn that they just aren't cut out to be sky pirates or blitzballs.
 
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Well, if you learned about sex when you were 8 or 9 and aren't completely messed up, then I guess it can't be that bad, can it?

There is nothing wrong with a young child being curious about what sex is. It's natural. Sex is a part of who we are and how we make more of us. Children are reminders of reproduction, so in some ways associated with sex themselves. Why shouldn't a child want to know why some woman's belly is swollen or why a boy is anatomically different from his sister?

Sex itself isn't a bad thing. What is bad is when children that are too young to understand all the repercussions are taught to market themselves sexually. I don't think Bratz dolls or things like that are a good thing because they do not teach responsible ways of dealing with sexuality. I think if a child is curious they should know what sex is and how it affects people's behavior so they understand how to make healthy decisions. If you meet a child that is talking about having sex when they are far too young, instead of telling them to just be quiet or to think about butterflies and horses, it might be better to try to teach them why that wouldn't be a good decision for them right now.

I am working with kids this summer (ages 5-13), and honestly what scares me more is not kids talking about their boyfriends or their new bra's or getting married, but little boys knowing the names of tons of different kinds of guns and talking about GTA. I don't think guns or GTA are inherently evil, I just think that game shouldn't be played y kids who aren't old enough to understand the tongue in cheek themes of the story.
 
It's not so much learning about sex as it is talking about it all the time, and believing that talking about sex or having a boyfriend/girlfriend makes you more mature--it doesn't. Having childhood friends and playing with them when you're only eight is fine--that's perfectly normal. But having a boyfriend/girlfriend or at least considering a friend as such at that age is a little unusual. It's almost like they think society won't accept them if they don't have one, or that people won't treat them seriously if they don't have one. Or how young girls buy all these clothes that were meant for teens (and now they're making it worse anyways) because they think people won't treat them seriously unless they look older.

What's wrong with wanting a normal childhood of innocence and free from adult responsibility? It's the only time where you'll actually be allowed to have fun and not worry about the world; you'll eventually have to grow up and take on adult responsibility, but why worry about that when you're at an age where you're not going to be able to deal with it anyways? You can't pretend you can deal with it by wearing clothes older people wear or by having a date because older people have them.
 
I agree with you. But it's the world we live in. the youth are exposed to things all the time that they shouldn't be but there is nothing we can do. Their surroundings are the key. the enviornment they live in will effect them. or other things like: Parents. Other kids. TV. Just life. But I do agree with you all the way.
 
I agree. I remember back when I was in fifth grade, this girl was talking about how she was going to have sex with her boyfriend. :gasp:

I also saw a video on Youtube a while ago that showed (well, not exactly 'showed', it was just voices) an eleven year old kid with some older teenagers on a chat room. Here were some of the comments he said:

"Let's talk about what we do a titty bars!"
"I just fapped at that."
"If she has an ugly face, it doesn't matter, just put a paper bag over that sh*t."
"I'll give you a blowjob!"

...it went on and on like that. I can't imagine where he hears stuff like that. Surely someone has seen that video before.

But yes, kids are growing up too fast. They probably think they're acting mature by talking about pr0n. They probably get most of the stuff they say from older siblings and getting up in the middle of the night to watch "Girls Gone Wild".

The whole "I has a boyfriend/girlfriend!" thing is probably just for popularity. It's pretty much, "Whoever has the most boyfriends/girlfriends wins!" I even remember kids having contests where everyone would run around asking, "Will you go out with me?" and whoever got the most "dates" won a piece of candy or whatever. I just ignored it all, but that was all everyone would talk about for a day or two.
 
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Karl Friedrich Gauß said:
It's not so much learning about sex as it is talking about it all the time, and believing that talking about sex or having a boyfriend/girlfriend makes you more mature--it doesn't. Having childhood friends and playing with them when you're only eight is fine--that's perfectly normal. But having a boyfriend/girlfriend or at least considering a friend as such at that age is a little unusual. It's almost like they think society won't accept them if they don't have one, or that people won't treat them seriously if they don't have one. Or how young girls buy all these clothes that were meant for teens (and now they're making it worse anyways) because they think people won't treat them seriously unless they look older.

What's wrong with wanting a normal childhood of innocence and free from adult responsibility? It's the only time where you'll actually be allowed to have fun and not worry about the world; you'll eventually have to grow up and take on adult responsibility, but why worry about that when you're at an age where you're not going to be able to deal with it anyways? You can't pretend you can deal with it by wearing clothes older people wear or by having a date because older people have them.
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How is it that unusual if you hear about kids doing it all the time? Children naturally want to imitate their adult examples. I think, valuing ourselves only based on how sexually attractive we are is not a childhood problem, but a societal problem. The way children are acting is just a reflection of that. I think parents are responsible for talking to their children about the clothing they wear and how they portray themselves.

I don't know that you can say its any worse than any other age. A hundred and fifty years ago, little girls might have been obsessed with folding their hands and dressing in huge amounts of clothing and not saying anything un-lady-like because that's what how women were supposed to behave at that time to be sexually attractive.
 
Children don't come equipped with the feelings necessary for romantic love. They haven't gone through puberty, and don't have the hormones that adults have that make them want to have that kind of love. Imitating an adult activity by "pretending" they have a boyfriend or girlfriend is empty and not quite the same. So yes, the age difference does matter.
 
I didn't say that was real. I said it was natural for children to IMITATE what they see in adults. It's how they learn to speak, to think, to walk, to socialize, ect. Sexuality is an important part of adult life, so children are going to attempt to imitate it as well. They play games where they pretend to go to work, or have families, or to yell at each other. Most children don't understand politics, but they still will talk about supporting the person their parent supports.

I don't see where whether or not they actually feel it or are just imitating matters to the argument. The fact of the matter is, our society has become more open about sex (or at least the way we view sexuality is changing) so children's behavior and play is going to recognize that. Nonetheless, it is still important to teach them to act responsibly.

I knew about sex since I was five or six years old and was completely fascinated with anything dirty for years. I do not have any STD's, I am not pregnant and have no plans to be pregnant as I cannot support a child, I am not promiscuous, and I am not especially judgmental of other people's sex lives. I waited to have sex until I was 18, a legal adult. I do not feel as though any of my childhood was ruined. Yes, some children do mess up, but I don't think it has to do with how early they understand what sex is, but how responsible they are taught to be when it comes to their own sexuality.
 
Kids do this probably because they don't want to be looked down upon by Teens/Adults. You always see people saying things like "You're too young so you can't do this," or "go play with your toys, we're talking adult talk" (which is something that is necessary to be said, but it's natural for kids to take it the wrong way and try to do everything they can to not be "belittled.") When they hear something that sounds mature, they copy it because they want to be "mature" and "impress" people, such as their older siblings and their classmates. Then, their classmates pick up on it and it becomes a vicious cycle. But do you really think a 4th grader will go screw someone because of this? They most likely won't. Most kids won't until they actually get the urges and want to willingly do it. What worries me more than anything is what happens to them when they get older. The sexual ignorance that's presented to them, i.e, Bratz dolls, and their "role models," such as Jamie Spears, is definitely a burden on society. If they're learning so much already that they don't have to know, then they should at least be taught to know what's right and wrong when it comes to sex, to prevent them from doing anything stupid when they actually become horny for real. They need to be taught responsibility.

I don't ever remember kids knowing that much about sex when I was 8-10. The most they'd say would be "I had sex yesterday!" Maybe they said more and it just flew over. However, I do remember the girls in my class trying to "look older" by having a "boyfriend." I pretty much ignored it all, because I was never the type of person who would do something unwillingly just to look more mature. When I was a little older, in 6th grade, everyone would "look down on me" because I didn't have sexual urges (yet). I bet that most of them didn't either and were just putting on airs.
 
I don't see the problem of children growing up too quickly.
We could take a romantic view and mourn the loss of childhood innocence, but that's a very sentimental view.

I don't see the harm in kids talking about sex, it's just talk, they aren't having sex. It's no more harmful than children playing war games. Infact I remember when they had NATO and Yugoslavia fighting on TV and I thought it was great. Talking about sex is less harmful than the rap music that kids listen to. All it does is glamourise misogyny, violence and drugs.

Also having children growing up talking about sex is better than not. They know the risks of sex; STDs, pregnancy etc. I knew a girl who had a very sheltered upbringing, she thought oral sex was talking about sex.
'Protecting' children from sex is not going to lead to well adjusted adults. You cannot hide children away from reality.
 
I'm not saying children shouldn't ever learn about sex at all; I'm just saying they shouldn't be made fun of just because they don't know what "doing it" means or that they don't have a "crush" or don't even know what it means, and that if they don't like the idea, they shouldn't be pressured to join in with them. It's not the fact that they even know these words, but the fact that they use them like it's just some other English word. I did learn about sex eventually; but sex ed class didn't happen when I was eight.

But whatever; this isn't even about not knowing what sex is, like some of you seem to suggest, even though I didn't say that; this is about how kids talk about it like there's nothing greater, and that they think it makes them special and mature. I'm not saying that makes them screwed up when they're older, but I'm saying that they think that way is wrong. So what; you know what sex is. Great. Almost everyone knows what it is. But as a kid, being friends with someone of the opposite gender doesn't mean I have a crush on them, and solving a math problem and being excited over it doesn't mean I had sex.

I don't know why you think kids imitating adults is so great; there's nothing mature about that at all. You can't necessarily learn responsibility by imitating something you don't understand. And you can have kids talk about sex, but come on, man. There are better things you can spend your time over than talking about sex all the time when you're a kid. You don't need to worry about whether or not you'll find someone--that's not something you need to worry about for a long time. Instead of complaining about how you're not good enough for some guy because he's hot and you're not, and you're afraid he won't give you any attention because of that, go ride a bike or something. That's something little kids like to do. There are just certain things you don't quite learn or understand until you grow up naturally. Is there something wrong with just letting time go by as it should and not worry at all about these things until you get to the right age?
 
Sure, but some people are only interested in sex and that's how they start out. Kids that don't care about it won't talk about it and will find other things to do. I've been a kid that's less interested in sex than the other kids around me. It's horrible that kids are cruel and attack kids that are different from them. Anyone who has grown up will tell you that, but if it wasn't interest in sex, they would find other ways of isolating specific kids. That doesn't make it right, but it's what kids do.

Kids behave that way when it comes to sex because it is associated with adults. Most kids want to seem as adult as possible. Should they? Maybe not, but we live in a country that glamorizes the life of the young adult which involves sex and looking attractive, so it means that most kids will try hard to be like young adults and most older adults will try to look like young adults, too.

Of course its awful when any kid is singled out for thinking differently, but it will happen. In any case, that kid should be aware that he is dealing with other children, and chances are they do have other interests than sex. Its a matter of finding who your real friends are. Some people never do. Hopefully, an adult who is watching said children will encourage them to move beyond singling people out so harshly, but this can't always be helped.

It isn't great or not great for kids to imitate adults. I never said it was wonderful, I just said it was a part of life. Kids learn to be adults through imitation. This isn't saying that adults are always right or that every adult is a great role model.

My point is that kids talking about sex isn't "unnatural," perhaps it is unfair sometimes or not the greatest activity and takes up too much time, but there is nothing abnormal about kids growing up and talking about sex.
 
At that age I don't think I even knew what sex was let alone speak about it. It's difficult to understand why kids would think it's "grown up" to talk about things like that, most parents wouldn't talk about it in front of their kids, definitely not at that age. I think it's more likely that the one kid who always misbehaves in class brought it in from home, same with swearing. And if you tell a child not to do something they'll want to do it even more.

Interestingly enough on the radio a few days ago they were saying the government are talking about giving kids sex ed at the age of 4 (that's in Britain). That's just ridiculous. Just the kind of place we live in I suppose, dread to think what it'll be like when I'm an oldie.
 
I'm afraid I don't see how children pretending to have a boyfriend or girlfriend helps them learn to be adults. Because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is not a defining characteristic of being an adult, nor is going out on dates or talking about sex. Accepting responsibility is, making the right choices is, and you have to make a lot of mistakes in making choices before you finally realize what the right thing is to do--not everyone is like this, but growing up means you change a lot, and this isn't from imitating older people you think are "cool", but simply by physically growing up--you change, the people around you change, the world around you changes, you hit puberty, your thoughts and focuses change, you grow smarter, and more able to realize things you couldn't as a kid, and at some point, you forget what it means to play house with your neighbors, make art projects with glitter and construction paper, and have fun like you used to.

That doesn't mean you can't have fun anymore, but the kind of "fun" you have is a different one.
 
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