Kids Growing up too Fast?

[Morrigan]

They know these things now from grade 1 too and not to mention that they even know more things than we ever did.Nowdays whenever they brake a vase or something it's not like they don't realize the danger or how much it could harm them but still they go ahead and do it.You'll find it idiotic what I am about to say but kids are turning into evil pro-adults.The way they speak,they act,they look at you.The other day I was in a park with some of my friends and we were playing volleyball.I mistakenly hit the ball on a different direction and it headed towards a little boy that was cycling near us.Thank God the ball didn't hit and I apologized to him and what did he do?He screamed at me for no reason like hooligans do.
No,there are no more innocent kids and if there are a few now,there won't be any left in the future.It's not their fault of course it's the TV's fault and their parents' fault that don't raise them the way it should because they don't even have time for themselves and when they get a day off they won't spoil it with taking care of their kids but by relaxing so they can continue working like machines in order to make a living.We can't blame them either that are trying to survive in a world full of expenses.

The ones who are to be blamed are TV,older brothers or sisters,friends,environment and wrong role models.Recently have been added in the list and fashion designers as in order to sell their products they appeal young people through clothes and mess their mind.Haven't you noticed that the clothes now little kids wear are almost similar to those adults wear?No wonder you see 11 year-old-girls being pregnant.

 

[Bambi]

Eight year olds should so not be talking about things like that, I think kids are growing up to fast anyway, you hear of them commiting suicide because they think they are fat, or they become anorexic or whatever. It's absolutely ridiculous

If I heard a kid that age talking about sex I think I would die inside. I cringe when I hear 13/14 year olds talking (loudly) about it on the back of buses. They will regret doing these things when they are older and actually mature - rather than thinking they are, and if they really ARE having sex with everyone as they oh so proudly claim

Now I was no angel when I was a kid, my mates outside school where all older than me, so I had already been read the riot act for drinking and smoking at a young age.... but I was never arsed about how I looked or wanting a boyfriend.....well, I'm not sure actually, I think I was exposed to the sex talk quite young but I can't remember Ugh, my childhood memories are so muddled

I do remember laughing everytime the sex word got mentioned anyway

They should all be in the park and climbing trees

 

[der Astronom]

Well, I have thought about kids imitating adults, and it goes something like this: Oh, so-and-so is my boyfriend, and when we grow up, I'm going to marry him and have lots and lots of children!

Yes, that really speaks of maturity and responsibility. They sure learned something.

 

[Erythritol]

Well, I have thought about kids imitating adults, and it goes something like this: Oh, so-and-so is my boyfriend, and when we grow up, I'm going to marry him and have lots and lots of children!

Yes, that really speaks of maturity and responsibility. They sure learned something.

You know, it's funny because you could be quoting some adults. Mental maturity/responsibility and physical maturity are not necessarily linked. I think that's an important point.

Um, I'd also like to point something out. Treating children as we do today is a relatively new social construction. A few centuries ago, Europeans treated children as 'little adults.' They were dressed like adults and treated as adults, albeit with less world experience and knowledge. I kind of agree with Aerocrystal that it's natural for children to want to imitate adults and pretend to have a significant other or be fascinated by sex. I really think that's natural human behavior. And sure, because they're children and don't know as much as adults, they tend to have a lot of misconceptions. So what? That's irrelevant. I also think people tend to retroactively idealize childhood memories. In our society, I think childhood tends to be this very sacred, idealized time. But in reality, it just isn't. Yes, there was lots of playing in parks and climbing trees, but I also remember my friend trying to explain to me what sex was in third grade (she was, of course, completely wrong). I think to label what children do as "wrong" is to label human nature as "wrong."

 

[aerocrystal]

You bring up a good point. Some people would argue that we've extended our childhood too much. At other places around the world and history, the lack of adulthood responsibilities and behavior (ie working everyday, thinking about building a family, taxes) that many people have in the western world up until at least their mid-twenties might disgust them. The increasing numbers of college bound adults and the college culture of free-wheeling experimental youth seems to have extended our childhoods in a number of ways.

Furthermore...yes childhood is idealized. Kids are nasty little brats sometimes, just like people. And when you were a kid you had depressions, anger, and more worries than just tree climbing or glitter. Someone once told me that we only get nostalgia when we forget what something was really like. I partially agree.

Furthermore, if you still want to color, or climb trees or play with legos or go on a swing, what is stopping you? You can do that now, as an adult. Interest in sex or any other adult thing doesn't mean you have to stop being interested in things like that.

From working with children, there are of course some kids that are way too sex obsessed. But there are some adults like that too. I also work with plenty of kids who never care about talking about sex at all.

 

[der Astronom]

No, you just don't get it. I don't feel like climbing trees or playing Legoes anymore because I'm too busy and my hobbies have changed. I told you that we change as we grow older, and I no longer have these opportunities--you don't get to do them anymore when you have to deal with other things. You say there are kids that aren't sex obsessed, and I know there are; I for one wasn't, but I was only speaking specifically of the kids who take sex to be the only thing that matters in their lives, as if they needed a boyfriend/girlfriend in their lives, wear clothes that teens wear and worry about things they're not even able to think about properly--I don't care how much sex they know; that wasn't even the focus to begin with--it's how they think knowing about sex equates to maturity, which it doesn't necessarily.

You make it sound like it's alright for kids to be nasty brats, and I have the feeling the people that agree with me get what I'm talking about.

But when you're a kid, you can ignore these problems by just climbing a tree and doing things other kids normally do. You can't run away from your problems when you're an adult though, or else there are consequences.

 

[Zelpa]

I remember back when I was in 3rd grade, I had a best friend and he used to come over every single Friday and we had HBO so we watched porn. It did change our views on a lot stuff as kids, and you're right we didn't even hit puberty yet but still thought about doing that with the girls in the class we liked. We really didn't act any different though, we still watched cartoons and played outside and with action figures and all that, but it did make us look at girls differently. Now a days though, it does seem like the kids don't do much of that, they all think they have to be some kind of thug or something now and it's really disturbing driving past elementary schools and seeing little kids smoking cigerettes acting like they are some kind of thugs.

 

[Soul Saver]

I remember back when I was in 3rd grade, I had a best friend and he used to come over every single Friday and we had HBO so we watched porn. It did change our views on a lot stuff as kids, and you're right we didn't even hit puberty yet but still thought about doing that with the girls in the class we liked. We really didn't act any different though, we still watched cartoons and played outside and with action figures and all that, but it did make us look at girls differently. Now a days though, it does seem like the kids don't do much of that, they all think they have to be some kind of thug or something now and it's really disturbing driving past elementary schools and seeing little kids smoking cigerettes acting like they are some kind of thugs.

Hmm, I can see what you mean with that. As for kids turning into thugs, yes. I'm afraid many kids nowadays try to imitate, and aspire to become like idiots such as Wayne Rooney and 50 Cent. Worse than before, I think. Children don't often look up to, or have very positive role models.

 

[Jiro]

I think kids are still being stereotyped. The young kids that I know aren't obsessed with sex or the like. They're just immature and they do think they're cool if they curse and talk crap. Kids grow up, there isn't really too fast or too slow. Just different. Yes, there are mature and immature, but its the same with adults. None of it really matters so long as they develop into contributing citizens. Positive contributing citizens.

 

[Fusilli]

As lots of people have said, I think it's perfectly normal for young kids to have an interest in sex. I think that it's in very very few cases where they actually ARE doing it. Besides, children have to learn about it from somewhere. My parents never ever spoke to me about sex and I learnt about it from tv, friends, my older sister, internet, etc, and it's a good thing that I did because otherwise I would be completely clueless.

It does rather disgust me though the idea of 12 year old kids boasting about it. Like, when I was 11/12 one girl in my class asked me if I was still a virgin, and I was like '..yeahhh....?' and she started laughing at me. This girl 'apparently' lost hers when she was 9 and claimed to be pregnant several times.
There was also one guy in particular who was always talking about all the sex he was having (at 11), at the time I didn't think much of it, but now when I see the current first years I just think it's sick. This guy was also one of those that used to bring condoms into school and blow them up or put them on people's heads... or wear them, and then insist on showing us. At the time it just annoyed me but I guess they did it because, well, they could. Or it could have been a case of 'i have billions of condoms and am therefore a stud', even though we all know that people who carry them around obviously aren't getting any.

Another thing is pregnancy. Now I'm not going to begin to pretend to understand what goes on in the heads of people who choose to get pregnant at 14, but all I know is that it happens, and it scares me that people think they can raise a child when they still are one themselves. I don't think these people realise that's there's more to raising children than just looking after it and being nice and that. But then again, I really don't know why, so I'm not going to judge.

 

[aerocrystal]

No, you just don't get it. I don't feel like climbing trees or playing Legoes anymore because I'm too busy and my hobbies have changed. I told you that we change as we grow older, and I no longer have these opportunities--you don't get to do them anymore when you have to deal with other things. You say there are kids that aren't sex obsessed, and I know there are; I for one wasn't, but I was only speaking specifically of the kids who take sex to be the only thing that matters in their lives, as if they needed a boyfriend/girlfriend in their lives, wear clothes that teens wear and worry about things they're not even able to think about properly--I don't care how much sex they know; that wasn't even the focus to begin with--it's how they think knowing about sex equates to maturity, which it doesn't necessarily.

You make it sound like it's alright for kids to be nasty brats, and I have the feeling the people that agree with me get what I'm talking about.

But when you're a kid, you can ignore these problems by just climbing a tree and doing things other kids normally do. You can't run away from your problems when you're an adult though, or else there are consequences.

True, adults have more responsibilities than children, but I still think you're idealizing childhood. When I was a kid, just climbing or playing didn't make all my problems go away. I was still hurt by a friend, still angry at an adult for condescending to me. There are other kids who have serious issues to deal with such as death or abuse that can't run away from their problems either. Do they have less responsibility yes, but do some kids (many kids) have their personal responsibilities that can still stress them. To you, as an adult, you don't think what children are stressed over as important, but if you remember being a child, it was that important. I have met numerous children with serious emotional problems. I have known young children that have tried to kill themselves multiple times before the age of ten. If you don't take care of the things that are important to you socially as a child or do what your parents want you to do or take care of your pets or placate your sister, you still will have consequences as a child.

I don't enjoy hearing the kids I work with talk about sex; I usually encourage them to stop. But I have never met a kid who only thinks about sex and values nothing else. I think some appear that way as a way of showing off. I think I know a lot of children that should get their priorities straight and not think about it, but realistically a good portion of the adults I know only think about sex or how attractive they are. Unfortunately, some kids do go through puberty by the time they are nine, so some of them are actually thinking about sex and it's not always their fault. If you have the new rush of hormones, you're gonna think about it more.

There are some kids I figure who will get pregnant by the time they are fourteen, but that stuff happens. It is awful and I don't agree with it, but its inevitable that some will. I don't know the statistics, but I don't think there has been any kind of huge jump in the numbers of teen pregnancies in the last twenty years. And not all of the boyfriend girlfriend talk is sex related. Most children's shows include people "falling in love" or whatever, so some kids are doing it to emulate the friendship or romantic side.

And no, I don't think it's okay for children to be nasty brats. I don't think it's okay for adults to be assholes either, but the fact of the matter is some kids are and some adults are. And yes, there is a big difference between sex and maturity and you shouldn't confuse the two, but children are still learning. If a child is attempting to appear like an adult, it's a lot easier to make a dirty joke (because it's something only adults are supposed to do) than it is to make a really mature decision (because thats something that is expected of adults). And please, just because I say something happens and is normal doesn't mean I think it's great or wonderful.

In any case, a good portion of adults I know don't behave in the ways that you say constitute adulthood, but they do engage in sexual behavior. Unfortunately, that is the biggest example of "adulthood" that some kids have, so that is what they think being an adult means.

 

[der Astronom]

True, adults have more responsibilities than children, but I still think you're idealizing childhood. When I was a kid, just climbing or playing didn't make all my problems go away. I was still hurt by a friend, still angry at an adult for condescending to me. There are other kids who have serious issues to deal with such as death or abuse that can't run away from their problems either. Do they have less responsibility yes, but do some kids (many kids) have their personal responsibilities that can still stress them. To you, as an adult, you don't think what children are stressed over as important, but if you remember being a child, it was that important. I have met numerous children with serious emotional problems. I have known young children that have tried to kill themselves multiple times before the age of ten. If you don't take care of the things that are important to you socially as a child or do what your parents want you to do or take care of your pets or placate your sister, you still will have consequences as a child.

Well, let's see here. When I was a kid, all my grandparents were alive, and when they died, I was old enough to accept their deaths, and had a better grasp of responsibility; I did my homework without my parents worrying about me. Besides them, no one considered important to my childhood life died. The only thing "terrible" I've had happen to me when I was a kid was to have my childhood innocence taken away by a bunch of kids with their stupid sexual connotations and jokes, but I admit I never realized it until I was much older. I admit I probably lost a lot of friends too, because I was insensitive, and didn't understand particular connotations of expressing myself as I was then--and also due to that insensitive property, I didn't take it very hard when I lost friends. So no; that's probably why I didn't realize most of the things children might complain about.

I don't enjoy hearing the kids I work with talk about sex; I usually encourage them to stop. But I have never met a kid who only thinks about sex and values nothing else. I think some appear that way as a way of showing off. I think I know a lot of children that should get their priorities straight and not think about it, but realistically a good portion of the adults I know only think about sex or how attractive they are. Unfortunately, some kids do go through puberty by the time they are nine, so some of them are actually thinking about sex and it's not always their fault. If you have the new rush of hormones, you're gonna think about it more.

If it were just only a few kids who had an early puberty, then it's not really that big of a deal--unless everyone else thinks it's cool for someone to "grow up" before they do, and so suddenly, they're popular because of that, and all they talk about is what their "older" peer talks about--sex.

There are some kids I figure who will get pregnant by the time they are fourteen, but that stuff happens. It is awful and I don't agree with it, but its inevitable that some will. I don't know the statistics, but I don't think there has been any kind of huge jump in the numbers of teen pregnancies in the last twenty years. And not all of the boyfriend girlfriend talk is sex related. Most children's shows include people "falling in love" or whatever, so some kids are doing it to emulate the friendship or romantic side.

My perception of that is that you don't really call them boyfriends or girlfriends; just childhood friends. It's because when they grow older, they meet new people, and most people don't always keep the same "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" from childhood; they just end up calling them childhood friends later, and they're still good friends; just not romantically involved. So technically, you wouldn't call them "girlfriends" or "boyfriends" because there's not enough romantic love or hormones in there to call it that or enough emotion for a break up; if you lost a friend, it would feel bad, but not as bad as if someone you loved as a lover would. So they're really just close childhood friends.

If children called such friends their boyfriend or girlfriend, it's either because they think having such a friend being called that is mature or socially "cool" or they really want to marry that person when they grow up.

I just thought it might have been worse now because of the way they've now got fashion for young girls that make them look older, and all the stuff about sex in the media and such--but back then, they didn't have much of that stuff, it would just be the cartoon channel and some classic cartoons, and they didn't have Adult Swim back then either.

And no, I don't think it's okay for children to be nasty brats. I don't think it's okay for adults to be assholes either, but the fact of the matter is some kids are and some adults are. And yes, there is a big difference between sex and maturity and you shouldn't confuse the two, but children are still learning. If a child is attempting to appear like an adult, it's a lot easier to make a dirty joke (because it's something only adults are supposed to do) than it is to make a really mature decision (because thats something that is expected of adults). And please, just because I say something happens and is normal doesn't mean I think it's great or wonderful.

Well, I already know it happens--everyone else has confirmed it for me. And when you say it's normal, it's usually because you mean to say there's nothing wrong with it.

But just because something is easy to do doesn't make it right.

In any case, a good portion of adults I know don't behave in the ways that you say constitute adulthood, but they do engage in sexual behavior. Unfortunately, that is the biggest example of "adulthood" that some kids have, so that is what they think being an adult means.

But kids can play "house" and emulate family roles without including sex. Most of the time, the children that play the siblings are already there--at most, they'll pretend one of the kids is a stork. Unless society has changed so quickly that to children, being an adult really does mean having sex.

 

[Sephiroth Crescent]

Hi karl,

I haven't read the other pages, but im sure something similiar to this has been mentioned.

Yes kids are growing up too fast, Kids shouldn't be having sex at such an early age, because they aren't responcible.

Some(not me), but some make the argument girls shouldn't be given dolls at such a young age, because it gives them the impression taking care of a kid is easy.

Not really much more I can say on this topic, other than that when me and my brother moved from Puerto Rico to Florida, we were a bit slow on the sexual connotations also, but because we were slow, but because our english sucked.


But I do agree sex=/= maturity.

- Kuja