Serious Love

[Harlequin]

But I've had someone recently tell me that if you are in love, then you are also in lust, because otherwise you're just friends.

There are more kinds of 'love' than just the one. Such as an unconditional love. But I'll assume you know that and you've just overlooked it.

This makes sense to me, since apparently sex is one of the most important and healthy things in a relationship... but why? Is it because society tells us that, so we believe strongly that if there is no sex, than things just aren't working out --despite how strong the mutual love is? If lust is lacking, then love is lacking too?

Possible answers to those questions will differ largely depending on cultures, ideologies, etc...

I do believe that sex is a healthy thing in a relationship, although I don't necessarily believe that you can't have an healthy, loving relationship without it.

Many people believe love to be all kinds of things, ranging from a combination of all types of emotions to a tender caring disposition to someone.

I personally prefer the latter. Love to me is a veil. I don't believe that there's special 'one' for everyone and that when you find them 'you just know'. Love to me is to be of a caring disposition towards a person.

Love can exist without lust. Which is where the argument of beauty surfaces. I can love my wife and believe her to be beautiful despite her aesthetic appearance. Lust doesn't come into that.

And as for the absence of sex pointing to issues in the relationship many older couples no longer have sex because of the physical requirements and there are examples where it does become a serious problem but there are many where it doesn't.

This kind of thinking has lead me to believe something that is really actually kind of terrible in a sense. There is a part of me --one that I like to ignore because I don't like it-- that doubts a man can truly fall in love. But I'm pretty sure that's due to my ignorance, because I don't truly know the extent to a man's urges. All I've been told is that those urges are extreme.
I don't fully and completely believe that men can't fall into pure love, because I'm aware I lack knowledge. Someone fill me in, I hate thinking this way.

Anyone can fall in love. It only depends on what you believe the state to be. The physical and psychological urges don't particularly come into that side of the argument.

This belief (the one before the "men can't fall in love" one) has also made me wonder what exactly entitles someone as a homosexual or bisexual etc. Because I believe that love is separate from lust, I feel like I could possibly fall in love with a woman, but I can never lust after one. I believe that I would be able to fall in love with the person she is, without wanting to do anything sexual with her. The same for men too, even though I'm positive that I can lust after a male.

If you're asking what makes a homosexual, it's the sexual attraction to a member of the same gender, whether acted upon or not.

Fans of celebrities feel the same feelings you're talking about. Some will feel a strong love for a celebrity but won't actually lust after them. It's perfectly possible for anyone, male or female, to feel this way.

Even though I would never put myself under this label, does this make me "bisexual" (fuck, I hate labels... but that's a whole other thread)? Or because I would never do anything sexual with a woman, then I'm just "straight"?

If you don't have any serious mental attraction to a female you are not a homosexual/bisexual.

I'm not talking about the ability to find another person of your gender attractive, I'm refering to you actually being attracted to them.

 

[Catnip]

There will always be people who agree and disagree with you. If you believe this, I think it's perfectly rational. Doing anything else, looking for lust when it's love you really want, isn't necessary. If it's love you want, you'll find someone who shares your desires.

It isn't about ~believing** and merely having opinions. Society is just brainwashed to shit, and I want to know if that's why people think they need sex or if some smrt scientist proved that it was because we're human or something

 

[Gaige]

Well, aren't you slightly generalising there? I don't believe sex is necessary, and neither to a lot of people I know. Love, again, is relative. I think sex is such a popular aspect of love interpretations because we live in a world in which we live for pleasure and materialism. That's all there is to it. Sex is something that gives pleasure. People like pleasure. But no, it shouldn't compromise love.

 

[Shu]

- Threads Merged -

Keep it clean, and remember this is not a spam post.

 

[Kim Taehyung]

This was an idea for a thread of it's own, but I think it fits in here better.

What does it take to fall in love?

Does there need to be a physical attraction to plant the seeds? Or can it be purely emotion/communication based? The second, of course, is mainly online relationships, in which the two involved would communicate, usually over a large distance, and may rarely or even never actually meet in person. Can a relationship survive without the physical parts involved, or does love need both a physical attraction/relationship as well as an emotional and communicative relationship?

Take, for example, pretty much every crush I've ever had. They all started out as just simply me liking the guy because he: Had pretty eyes, had a cute smile, had nice hair, etc. Then I'd try and see if I can get something to build from that, with little success.

Lately, though, I find myself paying more attention to the communication I have between others. I find that it seems that a relationship really can be based largely upon communication. I have some new friends here at school that are amazing, and that is because we got along so well when we'd talk. But that's friends, and I'm digressing a bit.

Emotions. When it comes to them, I think they're the driving force of a relationship. I'm a naturally passionate person. I live for it. The thing is, when it seems like the emotions tend to fade away and the companionship part comes in, it feels...boring. Do emotions naturally fade in a relationship, or is that not normal?

To summarize: Can you really have a relationship, and even fall in love, when communication and companionship were the main parts of your relationship/friendship with the other? Or does there really need to be that physical attraction to seal it?