Miserable People

[ff1-10]

Yeah I don't really like hanging out too much with miserable people mainly because their negative attitude brings moods down and makes it hard to enjoy anything, but also because it's infectious and the next thing you know you're feeling a little miserable yourself!

But I think it's sad that people shun miserable people. Yeah it's insufferable sometimes how they can be so self absorbed but these people obviously don't need their misery worsened by being ignored or sidelined by society. That said, only they can help themselves. You can't have the attitude of a negative person and expect happiness to find you, all that negativity is like a poison that destroys relationships and opportunities even when people are incredibly patient and understanding with you.

I agree with this.

There's someone I know, though, who every time I see them, their life is worse than what it was before, even though I *told* them so many times and how to make it better. Each time, in fact, because whenever we were together, they would just talk about their problems nonstop to fill in the space. I didn't mind at first, but when it is every time you are with them from start to finish, you just don't wanna deal with them anymore. This person does have a dysfunctional family, but what's even more dysfunctional is their mind. They tell me that they went to therapy, that they were diagnosed with sorts of depressions, but to me, they are just a normal person who thinks too much and too negative ABOUT those things. I know I'm no doctor, but honestly I believe they are just a negative person who is able to get out of their situation but choose not to. And they have, but then slumped into their negativity and negative lifestyle again, so you really are just responsible for yourself in these types of situations. But I understand that if your life has mostly been a blob of negativity, you're gonna tend to slip back into it just because it's what's familiar. But, still - be responsible. If not a lot, then at least a little!

But how can I say that when I'm one these miserable people, lol? I motivate miserable people, but on the inside, I'm just like them. In fact, I think someone who used to get excited at the sight of me and who was kind to me now just says hey with a small and short smile like they don't really wanna interact with me or know me because I was always venting to them when I was with them. Why did I do that? Because they seemed to really care for me compared to others and I was in a miserable state of being and had no one to listen to me. When you're miserable, no one understands you and no one wants to listen to you when you really just wanna get EVERYTHING out of your system and in a processing sort of way, which makes you attached to anyone who seems willing to listen or might care, causing you to vent every time because you really don't have anyone.

What I mean is...I've been on both ends of the stick and it hurts either way. The solution is to yes, vent, ONCE, vent it all out to someone who cares and is there for you, then DO something about it so that it doesn't ever bother you again and you can worry about the new things that will come your way, which also includes the positive, not just the negative. And if you do that, you will not vent again for a long time because then you will have already learned how to deal with a problem and will keep dealing until something that really takes you by surprise hits you, and then you may have to vent again but then people won't mind because you're not venting to them all the time so they'll WANT to listen.

 

[The Welsh Paddy]

I think this whole 'clinical depression' thing is a bit overexagerated. I'm not denying that there are people who do suffer from it, but I do find that when someone goes to the doctor's claiming they're all depressed, they are waaay too quick to prescribe anti-depressants. Too quick to turn around and say "Yeah, you do have a problem." Much of the time, I think it's bullshit, and in those cases the answer most certainly isn't anti-depressants. All you need is the will to hold your chin up and not let every day things get the better of you.

Grieving is really tough, which is perfectly understandable, and there are certain medications that cause depression as a side effect (Such as those used to treat high blood pressure), but people who get themselves really down over a split relationship that only lasted a few months (as an example) and refuse to get themselves out of their funk. I mean come on, just shed your tears and get over it already. Not everything works out in life, and you're seriously kidding yourself if you think life can be all peachy.

As for those who make a point of showing how miserable they are just to get loads of sympathy or whatever. It's just stupid. Moods can be infectious, and the times when I've been sad, the last thing I've wanted is to go and bring everyone around me down into a funk too. It's so much easier to cheer up when you're around people who are laughing and joking around.

 

[Twilight Sky]

I'm quite miserable and was for years actively looking for a way to turn this all around. I can say that I don't really have anyone I can relate to, or can talk to on a regular basis. I don't have a phone - no one to call, and no one to call me. I dont have more than 4 people on my facebook friendlist, all of which don't bother unless I initiate - which my primary problem; I have to initiate everything, and what happens is, I burn out, and then there is nothing. I never hear from the person again. It is maddening, you have no idea. I have regular bouts with the urge to commit suicide, always having to refortify my mind against these urges; Truly I have no reason to live, but I wanna stick around..if that makes sense.

I don't complain to anyone, over and over again, and I'm not a party pooper. I love to make people laugh, but I haven't been able to do that lately, especially online where people jump in social circles and are unwilling to make new friends outside of it. I have been on the receiving end of advice and at this point I don't wont anymore advice. I just want to be treated like a friend. To matter to someone.

I used to randomly PM people on forums, hoping for a spark, but nothing has surfaced. Nothing in 3 years.

Girlfriends? None, and I've done plenty asking out.

After all the things I've done but no positive results, I decided it was time to stop fighting and stop hoping. It is not healthy for me. Whatever happens..happens..

Not everyone is miserable because they chose to be. You have control of everything in your life, except one thing.. . You can't force people to be your friend. And you can't force mutual friendships.

I don't mind that others complain over and over again..because that's who I am, I am a listener. Hell my observation skills are seemingly fine toned to hone on the suffering. I'll notice them before half you in this thread will. All the people who has shitty lives I've met in the past..have gone on to have better lives years later. One in particular was a girl who was like a sister to me. Now she's married and happier than she was when she was 13(23 now). But we don't talk anymore. I have more examples of that.

The worse kind of people though, and I've met these more often than I want to, is how they exaggerate their misery to gain your attention, and then brush you off when one of their friends come online. For a person like me, that really really hurts.

You happy people, you better not take your good lives for granted. Cause one day it might all go away.

 

[Ed Elric]

You know what's funny? I'm a pretty naggy person

It's not like I do it on purpose but I want shit done and people just don't want to do it. So i'll take my happy ass over and nag you. I know it's not a very nice thing to do, or even the right thing to do. I just feel like people need to be reminded to do their shit first--get their priorities straight and for the most part we are lazy and we are procrastinators and we will make any excuses to get out of something... no it needs to be done just dooooooooo it. ugh.

I'm not an extremist-- I don't complain and nag to the point of annoyance (lolol i hope not)

I tend to complain too-- not because i'm a miserable person but because everything else around me is pissing me off--therefore i must vent and complain. Something's dirty? I'll complain. Now if it's something i'm doing, i can't complain because i caused it--ya dig? But it's just common sense to pick up after yourself.