Moogle Murder Mystery II - Game Thread

[Ilyena]

Fake Zazu wonders why Pomeidon's name would be on a receipt in a bag in the belly of a shark. Even if he did fall off his board, why would he be surfing with a bag? A sudden shaking sends ripples through the water around him and Fake Zazu flies back through the shark's mouth, not wanting to risk getting trapped inside.

Tobias wheels backwards, dropping the shark's jaw. He stashes the Coeurl deodorant in his sweater. "Every time I think we can eliminate him as a suspect, Pomeidon pops back into the picture," he told Fake Zazu.

"He certainly has motive. It's possible he stole the remote for the shark, used it to attack McHank and then hid it in the lifeguard hut."

"Possibly. I'm still not fully convinced. What about the broken harpoon and gold? And how does the sea creature fit into all of this? What happened to Furaway's captain? Do you think she just went away quietly?"

Fake Zazu lands on the sand and shakes the water out of his feathers. "Do pirates ever do anything quietly? Telling people that you were raised by dolphins is practically the same as shouting 'hey, look at me! I'm suspicious!'"

Tobias glances towards the pirates cave. They were all away so it would be easy to investigate the cave now. He spies Annie near the chocobo rides sign. If anyone knew what happened to Captain Scherwiz, Annie probably would. Tobias cycles over to the captain. Well aware that Count Cluckbeak has already felt the fury of Annie's foot, he makes sure to word his questions carefully. "Good day, captain. Might I ask you a few questions about the stripped captain Sherwiz? What was it that she was stripped for? Stealing? What did she steal and what happened to her after she was kicked out of the confederation?"

 

[sly]

With no apparent clues in sight, OGAB continues down into the bowels of the ship.

Meanwhile, the Moogle Doll gets out of the tub and takes the photograph, then asks the floozy why she would think that there's a shark in it. "Has someone been keeping a shark in here?" He follows up with an attempt to get her to identify the person if that is the case.

 

[Dionysos]

Think we could be done between round 23-25? I think we can’t continue much beyond this month, so let’s enter the end game now!



Round 20:

Maps:
Click the maps to enlarge. For the clearest image open in a new tab.

Main Beach:

Old Pommy’s Cottage (discovered by Raptorbo):

'Nippynut's Nudist Beach':

SS Kuporius:

SS Kuporious Lower Deck (discovered by OG Angry Bird):

Sultry Siren:

Upper Town:

Fossil Beach:

-
Particulars:

Raptorbo lets go of the wires and, severely wounded, manages to stagger away from the robotic shark…

Raptorbo has discovered a new area: Old Pommy’s Cottage.

-

Gerry Adams opens his tracksuit top and checks his inside pockets… You never know!

Inside is a rather large moth, looking forlorn and desperately desiring a lamp.

-

Count Cluckbeak shouts out from his compromised position. He begs a young nudist lady for aid and then immediately asks Nutalie if Furaway McHank’s autobiography mentions Syldra, explains what ‘raised by dolphins’ means and if he mentions the Confederacy of Pirates….

The young nudist near at the harbour giggles uncontrollably and snaps a selfie.

Nutalie can also not contain herself and laughs for a good minute before replying as follows:

He he he! He… Heh. Confederawhat?! Kupohohehe! You mean he wasn’t really raised by dolphins, kupo? Beats me! He made no mention of piracy in his book, kupo! He mentioned sailing quite a lot… How he would often sail and people would adoringly surrender their gold and prized artefacts because they could see how amazing he was, kupo… Pirates? Whatever! You can’t be serious… He he. Look at you, you really can’t be! HA!

He he! He could have been raised by a blobfish and I’d have still loved to gaze upon his hunky features, kupo! He he he. Sweetie are you alright? Ha ha!

Furaway made no mention of a sea monster, but he does mention Syldra as being a very dear friend of his… I was getting quite jealous reading about her, but if you say she was a monster then I guess she had no shot, ha ha! Kupo! Not that any of that matters now… *sigh*

He he he….

-

Fake Zazu hurriedly flies out of the robot shark’s mouth before Tobias lets go of the jaw and it slams shut. The pair then find Annie the Adamantoise, newly returned to the beach with attire more suitable for her captaincy, and they politely question her about the fate of Captain Scherwiz.

Annie has the following to say:

Arrrr! What be it wit’ people pokin’ into our affairs today? By th’ slimy flipper of Shamu, I’ll slay the lot of ye detectives if ye keep at this much longer!

Cap’n Scherwiz conveniently claimed she ‘lost’ a brig fill’d to its upper deck with the most precious haul o’ her career…. Arrr! By rights the whole Confederacy should’ve had a portion! Claimed a whirlwind, or a crab, or somethin’ crazy took her ship…. But how did she and her crew survive? A tall story! She must’ve stashed the treasure on a desert island somewhere! We don’t do it lightly, but we had to remove her from our Confederacy…

Scherwiz has been seen on th’ beach ‘ere a few times since… She were nude ‘cause we stripp’d her o’ her clothes too so that no pirate crew could ever take her seriously again, nor could they respect her or rally behind her! Arrrr-ha ha ha ha!

Some would say it be too harsh, but it was put t’ a vote! Completely fair! Arrr!

-

OG Angry Bird goes down the stairs and discovers a new area: SS Kuporius Lower Deck.

The Moogle Doll asks the dancer about the shark in the bathtub.

The dancer, Pomerta Wing, replies with the following:

Oh no baby That’s just a joke amongst the pirates, kupo! Shouldn’t you know that? I just wanted to make you jump out he he he! I once got Chipper to jump out naked! He he!

Maybe we should borrow the shark from the lifeguards though, kupo… Do you think that would improve the hot tub experience for you, honey-bunny? I know where they keep the remote, kupo!

Camera activities:
OG Angry Bird snapped this photograph during this turn:

-

Susan Boyle has been dead for quite a while...

RIP.

Susan Boyle has been removed from the game....

-

You may all now post your next moves!

@Soulcorruptor @Linnaete @Ilyena @Paddy McGee @sly

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Raptorbo being the inquisitive soul he is goes to the bedroom and inspects the closet

 

[Paddy McGee]

"AYE AYE LAD DYOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DIS SHITE" Gerry asked the cute moth, opening his jacket to allow him to go free.

 

[sly]

"Um... Arrrgh lead us to where they keep the remote.... You lead the way... we'll stare.. I mean watch.... I mean follow. Then we'll terrorize the seven seas!" Says the faux pirate to the harlot.

The sleuth and the traveler meanwhile warp over to the kupo nut tree to speak with Ruff.

"Oi there Chops, how's Fura? Oh say I noticed all the snazzy uniforms you Nuts wear. I myself am a forest dweller. So I can understand your position. I was wondering though, how can you advocate for returning to your moogle roots when you're all wearing such adornments? Seems strange... She alright? Need any help there? Oh, I noticed there are some things hanging from ropes at the top of the tree, can you tell me about them? Nice statue, seems familiar.....

*Woody touches the statue*

 

[Linnaete]

"YOU WILL DELETE THAT PHOTOGRAPH IMMEDIATELY FROM YOUR PHONE, YOUNG LADY!" bellows this unfortunate, porky inspector at the giggling dark-haired, naked Moogle lass who just snapped a selfie of herself in the foreground with his plump self with one foot stuck in a beached arse behind her. This is precisely what he feared. He is at the mercy of wicked, deprived hooligans whose accursed mobile devices can effortlessly allow them to share dozens of humiliating photographs of his current state with their legion of equally brain-dead friends on the internet. His reputation is about to be so tattered it will be second only to Bill Cosby's TV career.

But there is hope yet! He, Inspector Clarence Cluckbeak, Bane of Fowl Play, is a man with ingenuity. No cloud nor squall shall hinder him. His family line is as prescient and revered as it is because for generations his ancestors have been men and women of fine, proud calibre, with an intelligence few can match. They've built railway systems, served in governments both nationally and locally, written volume upon volume of books, you get the picture. He himself has had an illustrious career so far as a crime scene investigator, detective and overall solver of mysteries big and small. To let an obstacle like this spell the end for him would be an insult to his family name.

With a degree of effort he hadn't exerted since that time he had to fully digest that enormous banquet held by members of the Chamber of Commerce, Cluckbeak just about manages to wiggle his way out of this nefarious trap, by loosening his right shoe's laces and slipping his foot out from it. What a terrible waste of an expensive, exquisite leather shoe. He will have to ruin this splendid sock as well as he clearly does not have a spare pair of shoes with him. He could purchase a new pair of shoes this instant, but that would be like having to buy lunch from a Burger King when you're used to Michelin Star restaurants. Oh well, at least he's free.

He immediately seizes the cackling naked woman's phone from her hand like the expert ninja he is and throws the device into the water, clearly forgetting that in this age of 4G internet connectivity on one's mobile and the ease in which uploads can be made by just tapping on a social media app icon, those selfies are probably already up on Snapchat or Instagram. At least this woman will be upset.

Now in a foul mood and with one less shoe, Cluckbeak hops into the Sultry Siren. Where better to take his anger out on someone than in an establishment as seedy and outrageous as this? He hops aggressively to the bath tub room where Pomerta Wing and the pirate band are currently. It pains him to have to see a woman dress in such a disgustingly provocative way that can potentially fill his head with all sorts of unwanted sexual vices, but he has to ask her something.

"ARE YOU NOT AWARE THAT THIS SHARK YOU SPEAK OF HAS LIKELY KILLED A MOOGLE TODAY? A MECHANICAL SHARK NO LESS, CONTROLLED BY A REMOTE. THE KILLER WOULD NEED TO BE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS OF THE REMOTE AND WHERE IT IS, PRESUMABLY TO FORCE THE MACHINE TO GO ON A HOMICIDAL RAMPAGE. AND HERE YOU ARE STATING THAT YOU KNOW WHERE THE REMOTE IS, SO NOW I'M STARTING TO WONDER IF YOU HAVE ANY CONNECTION WITH A LOCAL CHARACTER WHO WANTED FURAWAY MCHANK DEAD.

ANSWER ME, WENCH. MY DAY HAS BEEN ABOMINABLE SO FAR AND I HAVE BEEN SUBJECT TO MUCH MOCKING AND DERISION. PRAY YOU DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE TOO."

 

[Ilyena]

"A crab or whirlwind swallowing a ship? That sounds strangely familiar," Fake Zazu says.

""Of course it does! The same thing happened to Alvin Allosaurus just last summer. If Piyotr Pterosaur hadn't been hang-gliding by when it happened, he probably wouldn't have made it."

"No, I'm thinking of something else."

Tobias ignores Fake Zazu as something Annie said sparked his memory. He recalls seeing a naked woman with pink hair in the ocean earlier. He didn't think much of it at the time but after the discovery of the photograph with Annie and the other pirates, it must have been the same woman in the picture. She disappeared from the beach after talking to two moogles. I'd like to hear her side of the story and what she knew about McHank and Syldra. "Fake Zazu, let's go back to the main beach. I need you to fly out over the ocean and see if you can find Captain Scherwiz."

Fake Zazu sighs. "Of course. Fly into the cave, fly into the shark's mouth, fly over the ocean. I expect a handsome raise after this case is over."

Tobias wheels back to the main beach and watches as Fake Zazu flies out to see what became of the disgraced Captain Sherwiz.

 

[Dionysos]

Magazine stuff is my excuse this time, but I aim to get the next round out quicker!



Round 21:

Maps:
Click the maps to enlarge. For the clearest image open in a new tab.

Main Beach:

Old Pommy’s Cottage:

Open Sea (discovered by Tobias and Fake Zazu):

'Nippynut's Nudist Beach':

SS Kuporious Lower Deck:

Sultry Siren:

Upper Town:

Great White Kuponut Tree:

Fossil Beach:

-
Particulars:

Raptorbo inspects Old Pommy's bedroom closet...

There are no skeletons in this closet. Just some old clothes, some Werther's Originals, and a handful of chocobo eggs.

-

Gerry Adams frees his moth and asks if he knows anything.

The moth flaps about in Gerry's face and then says the following (translated from Mothese):

Laaamp!! Laaamp! Me want lamp!

-

OG Angry Bird orders his Moogle Doll to ask Pomerta Wing to lead the way to the remote control....

Pomerta Wing giggles and wiggles and then says the following:

He he he! Okay, sweetie! Kupo! Follow me! Karl Abos was always following me to this place... I miss that one and his enormous harpoon, kupo!

OG Angry Bird then re-enters the Great White Kuponut Tree and ask Ruff 'Chops' Hugwood how Fura is doing, why these moogle extremists wear clothes, and what the ropes are for... All whilst edging towards the Moogle Death God statue.

Ruff 'Chops' Hugwood sighs and speaks as follows:

Fura... My poor sister, kupo! Through the salving succour of the Great White Kuponut she is looking and feeling much better now, thank you!
Hmmmm.... You are right about our uniforms, kupo! I can explain... Well, we don't want to be arrested for public indecency... We wanted to shock the town into fearing us first, so that we could get our way or something. I don't know anymore... Plus, the others didn't want to show their faces... Being anonymous made them feel powerful and unstoppable, but I admit it also sent them a little bit crazy and it made them think that anybody could be harmed for the cause... They were no longer moogles during those acts, kupo! We nearly killed Fura!

Can I ask you for advice? Do you think stripping off and protesting naked would be a better tactic, kupo? Non-violent, but very impactful? We hope to demonstrate how once people start to think and see each other as moogles again - as true moogles - then nudity is no longer shameful or crude, kupo! We return to our true selves!

The rope-lanterns up top? Oh, they are just memorial lanterns. People light them to remember those who have passed, kupo! I'm so very glad that Fura didn't die, kupo!

Wait! KUPO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THE DEATH GOD POM-G'ON IS NO JOKE! DON'T TOUCH THAT! LAST TIME WE ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED THE HARPOON ON IT AND IT WENT WEIRD! KUPO!

OG Angry Bird touches the statue.

Green sparks fly off. OG Angry Bird's hands begin to burn as the object reads his past!

A distant cry is heard....


Camera activities:
OG Angry Bird snapped this photograph during this turn:

-

Sacrificing his shoe to the hungry beach bottom, Count Cluckbeak manages to pluck his foot free.

He approaches the woman.

The angered Count tosses the naked lady's phone into the sea.

He then turns his attention to the Sultry Siren where he hops and asks Pomerta Wing (in a most violently vexed manner) if she has any connections with someone who could want Furaway McHank dead.

Pomerta Wing is prevented from leaving the Sultry Siren (followed by the band of pirates) due to Count Cluckbeak's intrusion.

She replies as follows:

Why does everyone want little me today, kupo?! I don't know. These lot often fight each other and fall out over silly things! Are you one of them, kupo? Were you raised by dolphins? I'm gonna call you Stede Nugget, I think!
I mean, obviously, the Baywatch team know how to use their own remote, kupo... I've known for a while now when they are absent and when to go in and give the shark a little whirl! I guess I've told a few people... Was that a bad thing, Stede Nugget? Have I been a naughty girl?
Are you going to punish me, Stede Nugget? Sweetie sock? Chicky-wicky? Noodle-poodle? Kupo! Let us out!

-

Tobias waits at the beach as Fake Zazu flies over the open ocean in search of Captain Scherwiz...

The ocean is quite big. Should he keep going or turn back?


-
You may all now post your next moves!

@Soulcorruptor @Linnaete @Ilyena @Paddy McGee @sly

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Feeling the eggs could be in danger Raptorbo will take them and then exit through the back door to explore the unknown.

 

[Linnaete]

To think an honest man like him has been brought down so low he has to converse with this ghastly near-naked banshee much less breathe the same air as her. To think he has to stand here now listening to this woman's volley of stomach-churning "cutesy" nicknames as if she genuinely believes it will be enough to coerce him to drop his trousers. No, Cluckbeak would rather his secret one-night stands and extramarital affairs be with slightly more sophisticated women, preferably a woman of a lower social status than he so he can get a sexual rush from dominating her - and preferably a woman who doesn't look like she carries every known form of a sexually transmitted disease ever invented by God.

"The two gormless lifeguards know how to operate the shark with that remote," Cluckbeak quietly hisses at her, expertly ignoring the agitated fidgeting of the pirates who have finally noticed her exit route has been blocked by an obese splinters-ridden lilac chicken missing a shoe, "You obviously know about the remote and what it does. You've told this rabble about it. Who else knows about the remote? How many people do I need to ask in this town about a remote-controlled mechanical shark before one of them cracks and confesses their sins? 5? 10? 50? Because I am not prepared to do that. At this point I would much rather lay this all on a scapegoat. Yeeees, a lowly scapegoat like you. Who is really going to care who actually did it so long as anyone is bundled off to a police station, wrongfully accused or not? The public wants only reassurance - a placebo - in order to sleep comfortably in their beds tonight.

"So, Miss Pomerta Wing. Unless you want me to tell the authorities that you and the lifeguards committed murder today using a mechanical shark, I suggest you tell me right now the names of everyone who knows about the remote and how it works..."

 

[Ilyena]

Fake Zazu will continue out a little further.

 

[sly]

The Moogle Doll waits for Cluckbeak to get his answer and then takes his hat and puts it on the oglop statue. Next, he picks up Cluckbeak and tosses his fowl ass into the hot-tub. With no further obstacles in the way, he politely invites Pomerta to lead the way to the remote, pirates in tow.


Woody takes his hand off the statue. "That was.. interesting, did you hear a scream?"

He asks Ruff for more information about the harpoon. He then turns the conversation to naked moogles, Fura and the "There's another way picture", Pomideon hiding in the tree for some time, the syldra photo, and the pirates blaming the NUTS for the McHank killing. Couldn't have been a better, more thorough and honest conversation.

 

[Dionysos]

Okay. For real there won't be many rounds left. Be formulating your theories asap. If there is anything you think you'd need from me to help order the information for you, let me know. Otherwise, read through the first post or your posts throughout the game if you like when you are ready to look for clues you may have missed. I'll get the first post up-to-date within a few days as it is lacking the latest two rounds.



Round 22:

Maps:
Click the maps to enlarge. For the clearest image open in a new tab.

Main Beach:

Old Pommy’s Cottage:

Open Sea:

More Open Sea… (discovered by Tobias and Fake Zazu):

'Nippynut's Nudist Beach':

Sultry Siren:

Upper Town:

Great White Kuponut Tree:

Fossil Beach:

-
Particulars:

Raptorbo steals the chocobo eggs from Old Pommy’s wardrobe and then heads out to discover the way into the garden on the Upper Town map.



-

Count Cluckbeak threatens to blame Pomerta Wing for the murder unless she coughs up the names of all of the people she has told about the location of the remote control.

Pomerta Wing replies with the following:

Oh… Okay, okay… Keep your feathers on, fluffypuff. Kupo! I can’t remember everyone I told, can I? When I’m drunk as a shoopuf in a Moonflow of rum, I can’t remember what I’m doing, kupo!

But I’m sure I have told…. Ermm… Well Stede Nugget the sexy chicken stud who is clearly flirting with me, he he. Little beak muffin! I also told all of the pirates behind me, because they’re always up for a laugh, kupo! I love those little salt pots! Annd…. The tentacley fellow who loves to tickle me… Purple prince guy…. Kupo… He tickled it out of me once! He he! Then there’s Karl Abos, of course, who always nipped me in all the right places! He he! Old Pommy… Ermm.. No, not him… A few of his ‘bos though… For sure at least four of them. Father Pompous during confession… Hippopappa… Erm… Oh! That sweet turtle as well! He’s the conqueror of my heart! Although I’m willing to open my heart to you too, birdie bae! Kupo…

I mean I’ve known this secret for some time. The question you should really be asking is why has this shark only now gone crazy? Why didn’t anyone mess with it before, kupo?

-



Fake Zazu heads even further out into the open sea and discovers a new area: More Open Sea…



-



OG Angry Bird’s Moogle Doll removes Count Cluckbeak’s hat and places it on his oglop statue.

He then lifts up this feathered obstacle and tosses him into the hot tub.

The path now being clear, Pomerta Wing blows a kiss at Count Cluckbeak, and then each of the pirates in turn before leading them to the Main Beach (see map).


OG Angry Bird himself lets go of the wooden statue of the moogle death god Pom-G’on. He then asks Ruff about the scream, the harpoon, naked moogles, Fura, and Pomeidon….

Ruff ‘Chops’ Hugwood replies as follows:

You…. Don’t know what you’ve just done, kupo! There was a scream! That could have affected any number of things! Have you ever killed anyone, kupo? They may walk again! Cursed item, kupo! No! I don’t mean that, Pom-G’on! I mean the item, not you! Silly bird!

The harpoon? Well it was always Karl Abos’ weapon of choice, kupo… He’d carry it everywhere even when he wasn’t out whaling. He was a bit weird… That was before he vanished, kupo. We were surprised to find the broken harpoon included with the pirate treasure we accepted to help fund NUTS…

Picture of Fura? There’s another way? Sis, were you planning on handing something to me, kupo? Oh sweet sister… Forgive me, kupo. It’s too late. NUTS are violent, and that’s on me, kupo. Nude streaking would have been far more appropriate. I could still do this…

Pomeidon? The surfer and self-anointed god of the sea? Kupo, yes. He was rightly scared of us, but he has nothing to fear now… I’m not surprised that the pirates are trying to pin the murder on NUTS… We are violent and the perfect scapegoats, so I think from now we should strive to be better, stronger moogles! Pure moogles! Moogles of peace! Kupo! That's the way!

Camera activities:
OG Angry Bird snapped this photograph during this turn:

-



Gerry Adams asks his moth who did the murder.

The moth flaps in his face.



-
You may all now post your next moves!

@Soulcorruptor @Linnaete @Ilyena @Paddy McGee @sly

 

[Soulcorruptor]

Raptorbo goes back into the cottage and inspects the picture hanging on the wall.

 

[Paddy McGee]

"AYEEEEEEEEEEEE YE ORANGE ARDER BASTARD YE FUCKER."

Gerry screams, pushing the moth off. He then decides to head straight to the big tree thing, screaming:

"THE FUCKIN' MOTH DID IT"

as he does so.

 

[sly]

Moogle Doll gives up waiting for the turn-killing airhead to lead him anywhere and rallies the pirate crew to the fossil club to talk to Mogabod.

"Ahoy Mr. Curator sir! Lovely daughter you have there, what's her name... Mogette maybe? Say, I was wondering if you happened to arrive by ship... Possibly with a strange one-legged man that you rescued? Perhaps he even had some sort of chest and claimed to be a stranded whaler? Just curious."


Meanwhile, Woody and Sam congratulate Ruff and Fura on their newfound peaceful and naked ways, then heads over to the SS to speak with the male dancer and the cheerleader standing next to him.

He presents the photograph of the pirate crew to them on arrival.

"Here I have a picture that appears to be a group of..... sailors. There's you Bromios, next to the Oglop statue.. There's Chipper behind it. The recently deceased McHank next to him. Oh look, Syldra photobombing in the back, fun times. Annie, Andre, Nutloote. That just leaves the pink haired lady, the guy with the harpoon, and the crab.. The pink lady, I'm guessing is Scherwiz... Such a tragedy, wish we knew what really happened, but the code is the code after all... What do you call her, Faris? Nude the last I heard... *Blushes at the Cheerleader* Speaking of the code... The guy in the red with the harpoon, I heard he did something to get himself marooned. Happen to know why by any chance? Seems to me that the code is pretty clear there, I'm sure he wasn't happy about it though.... Especially given the circumstances. Purely hypothetical, what would happen to an individual that lost a leg while killing a sea creature... Paid for the leg and then marooned? That would be a hell of a thing, right? What then would happen if that marooned.... sailor... made his way back to civilization and then someone who marooned him recognized him? Purely hypothetical. You look like you could use some wine. That Karl guy really seems to have a thing for crustaceans..."

Woody turns to the Cheerleader, "You know when I first arrived here there was a stunning sand sculpture named 'Barry the Behemoth and the Cheerleader’s struggle', and I thought, "How do you know she's a cheerleader if she's naked?" Then here's you, a cheerleader." What a coincidence. *Sam seems to shrug.* You know, another coincidence, the cheerleader in the sculpture looked a lot like the pink-haired lady in this photograph. I wonder why anyone would wrestle a behemoth naked? How come you're dressed in your cheer gear btw? Some sporting event going on? Are you seeing anyone?"

 

[Linnaete]

Cluckbeak can only wallow in that oversized, steaming barrel of briny (and likely urine-filled) water with a look of total resignation etched all over his face. He's suffered one too many episodes of dire humiliation at this point and he's run out of energy to properly react to this new desecration of his dignity. He can only gaze dead on, perplexed as to how it ended up this way and what possible road he can travel from this point on to claw back even a smidgen of the face he's lost today.

Noticing the ravenous and multiplying Oglops march in formation to surround the tub, Cluckbeak lets off a petrified shriek and rockets out of that tub and straight out through the door faster than a millionaire faced with an unpaid tax bill. Never mind the fact his delicate lilac feathers are now sopping wet and he is in no state to meet a homeless tramp in some ghastly inner city alleyway let alone civilised society. Cluckbeak's only business now is to cut his losses and depart from this accursed town. Screw every resident in this heap of a hellhole. Every single person here can be mauled by any further mechanical sharks gone rogue for all he cares. A tsunami can pay this little spot a visit and give the place a lovely wash. At the very least it can flush out the vile excesses of vice and squalor that he cannot even walk for more than a dozen steps without tripping over.

Just as he prepares to bravely storm out of town and consign it to whatever fate it deserves, a moment of conscience stops him in his tracks. Very rarely does he allow that inner voice of reason to govern him, but in this instance an overwhelming sensation of stubbornness and...empathy for the residents of this town(???) has inextricably taken hold of his stone cold poultry heart. What was he thinking? He's Count Clarence Cluckbeak, a renowned genius and crime scene investigator! He's written copious volumes of books on the subject and he will undoubtedly enjoy countless glowing biographies dedicated to his life and his marvelous pursuits! He cannot let it all be tarnished here and now. As appalling as this town is, he has a duty to solve this crime and ensure these craven commoners can sleep soundly at night once more.

He hurriedly escapes the seedy nudist beach and retreats westward to the direction of Fossil Beach. There is a certain Moogle he would like to have a small chat with. A certain Kuporge Pomard Jr who may or may not be the former pirate Karl Abos, wielder of a now-broken harpoon.

"Mr Pomard Jr," he snootily says to the old fella with the wooden leg and the distinctive pipe, "you look like you've been on this spot for quite some time, either staring out to sea or observing that washed-up mechanical shark.

"I am curious to know if the name 'Karl Abos' - a particularly pernicious pirate, so I hear! - means anything to you. Maybe you knew a Karl Abos and liked his harpoon. Or maybe you even fancy yourself a Karl Abos! Also, what are your thoughts on that mechanical shark that all of a sudden with rogue impunity murdered at least one Furaway McHank? Who could possibly be able to turn a contraption formerly belonging to the lifeguards into a killing machine? Whoever this person is must be a very stable genius..."

 

[Dionysos]

We've decided that round 25 will definitely be the last round. Please consider this and make your last moves count.




Round 23:
Maps:
Click the maps to enlarge. For the clearest image open in a new tab.

Main Beach:

Old Pommy’s Cottage:

More Open Sea…:

'Nippynut's Nudist Beach':

Sultry Siren:

Upper Town:

Great White Kuponut Tree:

Great White Kuponut Tree Boughs:

Fossil Beach:

Fossil Club:

-
Particulars:



Raptorbo heads back into Old Pommy's Cottage and inspects the picture hanging on the wall.

Tucked into the frame is a note.

-

Gerry Adams pushes the moth away from him and heads into the Great White Kuponut Tree while yelling "THE @#!%$&' MOTH DID IT"

The moth follows, but upon entering the Great White Kuponut is attracted to the upper section of the tree to the lit lamps.


-

OG Angry Bird's Moogle Doll and pirate posse head into the Fossil Club and ask Mogabod if his daughter is Mogette, and if they had arrived by ship with a peculiar one-legged man.

Mogabod has the following to say:

THANK YOU, GIANT DOLL! HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU MOVING ABOUT AGAIN, KUPO! THEY FIXED YOU UP GOOD! MOGETTE IS MY DAUGHTER’S NAME, KUPO! LIGHT OF MY LIFE. MOST BEAUTIFUL $@$@%& DAUGHTER I’VE EVER SEEN, KUPO!

WE’RE HERE TO BUY SOME FOSSILS FOR THE MUSEUM, AND ALSO TO GIVE MY DAUGHTER A HAPPY HOLIDAY… WE TOOK THE SS KUPORIUS, KUPO! NOW THAT KUPORIUS IS SERVING TIME FOR HIS FRAUDULENT ACTIVITIES, I OWN HIS LUXURY YACHT AND USE IT FOR OUR WORK, KUPO! I DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR THAT #$!#%& - HIS TIME WAS UP.

HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WEIRD FELLOW WITH ONE LEG? HE WAS REALLY ODD, KUPO, BECAUSE HE ONLY HAD ONE LEG AND HE QUIZZED US THE WHOLE WAY ABOUT WHERE WE WERE GOING AND WHO WE WERE SEEING….

WE FOUND HIM STRANDED ON A $%@!& DESERTED ISLAND, KUPO! CLAIMED HIS SHIP HIT SOME ROCKS, SANK, AND FORCED HIM ASHORE. I THINK HE USED TO BE A WHALER - THOUGH, YOU ARE RIGHT, IT IS ODD THAT A STRANDED WHALER SHOULD HAVE A CHEST OF VALUABLES.... I CAUGHT HIM SINGING TO MY DAUGHTER A SONG ABOUT STICKING A HARPOON IN A WHALE'S BACK AND RIDING IT AS IT SPLASHED ABOUT AND DRENCHED HIS FACE WITH BLOOD... KUPO, HE NEEDS TO BE SEEN TO. I DID MY BEST FOR HIM. CLEANED HIM UP, LENT HIM SOME CLOTHES… HE WEARS THEM WELL, BUT THE UNGRATEFUL @#&% VANISHED AS SOON AS WE ARRIVED WITHOUT ANY THANKS. IF YOU SEE HIM, ASK HIM IF HE’D LIKE A RETURN #$%*& JOURNEY, KUPO!

OG Angry Bird presents Polyphemos Bromios and Sexy the Cheerleader with the large photograph of the pirates, correctly identifying the male stripper as one of the pirates present in the photograph, along with identifying the other pirates. He then asks for sure if the pink-haired lady is Captain Scherwiz, why the harpoon-holding pirate was marooned, and what such a guy would do if he returned to Whitnut...

Polyphemos Bromios replies as follows:

Arrrr! This ‘ere takes me back! These were halcyon days, for certain. Ye seem to know about us already so I’ll out wit’ it… But if ye tell anyone, I’ll slit yer throat and pour wine of me own makin’ through the gap!

Cap’n Faris Scherwiz was the pretty lass with the pinkish hair, aye. I had no qualms wit’ her. Stripped for stealin’, apparently, though that didn’t seem right t’ me. Me thinks she were framed!

Karl Abos? He was obsessed with whalin’, and he had a skill for befriending crabs. Yet, as you point out, the code is clear. Whalin’ in general is allowed, but sea creatures that are our allies? That be an article ye should ne’er break! Abos didn’t jus’ break the code – he broke our hearts. Cap’n Scherwiz's in particular. Aye, he paid for it wit’ his leg. And aye, so did we as we had to pay him for his leg…. ARRRR! But aye, he paid for it again by us maroonin’ him for good!

Ah ha ha ha ha. Ye really are a clown fish, telling jokes like that about Abos returnin’! That be unlikely. I imagine he’ll be nothin' more than a skeleton reachin’ out for a sip of drinkable water with one hand, while refusing to let go o’ his gold wit’ the other. Or maybe he blew his brains out at the first pang of hunger! It’s the usual way. If he did return, surely we’d notice one of our own? Arrr! We'd certainly overpower him and send him back. We outnumber him!

Sexy the Cheerleader is also asked why she is dressed in her cheerleading gear, and if a sporting event is on.

Sexy giggles and replies with the following:

Of course, silly! The Surfing Championships are about to start! I'm here to cheer for the best surfer of our generation.... Pomeidon Damphare! The hunky god of the sea! There's a real chance he can win again this year, and I'll be there to woo-hoo him on the beach!

Camera activities:
OG Angry Bird snapped this photograph during this turn:

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A wet and frustrated Count Cluckbeak quizzes Kuporge Pomard Jr. about the name 'Karl Abos the pirate', whether it is actually him, and about the mechanical shark and the presumed genius behind using such a device to commit murder.

Kuporge Pomard Jr. replies with the following:

ARRRrrrre you crazy?! Me, a pirate named Karl Abos, kupo! Heh! Ha! Nay, you look more like a pirate than I do. What kind of name is Karl for a pirate anyway? KUPO! Me name is KUPORGE POMARD JR. That's me, KUPO.

Aye, I've been watchin' the sea, my lad. Of course. My heart is in the sea. My soul is in the sea! My nuts- you get my drift, KUPO... I was a happy whaler before my leg was chomped, KUPO... Now I can't move much at all without the aid of my crutch and false-leg! Of course I like myself a good harpoon! I had a great one before the incident, KUPO. An extension of my arm, it were! Alas, I believe it broke in two during my last whalin' trip... Snapped before my eyes as the beast writhed in agony! If you happen to find it and return it to me I would be very grateful. You'll be rewarded!

A mechanical shark... Hmmm.... Yes that used to make good harpoon practice back in the day, kupo! It was a very lifelike, advanced machine. Using it to murder people, though? I guess it might be possible? KUPO!

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Fake Zazu asks the pirates in the ruined boat about Captain Scherwiz, and the two murdered moogles.

One of the moogles has this to say:

Arrrr! Cap'n Scherwiz? She be our particular cap'n. See? We're wearing her pinky-purple, kupo! We're what's left of her crew after she was banish'd from the Confederacy.... We're the ones that stuck by her and left also... She's safe, kupo, don't worry about her. We've clothed her again and we're gonna rebuild! We can't tell ye where we hid her as we don't know if we can trust ye, kupo!
Furaway McHank? We didn't see it, but we have a strong idea. Obviously the Confederacy killed him, kupo... We lost one of ours.... His soul be swimmin' in Davy Jones' locker with sweet mermaids and nereids... Well, that is once his body is allowed to leave that blasted beach!
We don't know the other guy. Sometimes landlubbers get caught up in salty matters, kupo.
I swear, Annie is gonna pay for what she has done! There will be fury on the beaches! Kupo! WE WILL BE THE HURRICANE! WE WILL BE THE TSUNAMI THAT WASHES WHITNUT! Just.... Once we are able to sail again, you know? Some day really soon.

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You may all now post your next moves!

@Soulcorruptor @Linnaete @Ilyena @Paddy McGee @sly

 

[sly]

Moogle Doll informs the crew that they're going to the Fish and Chip shop and to pretend like they're there to do something terrible....

As they enter, Moogle Doll holds up the sword and quotes the code to Chipper, "Every pirate must keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass CLEAN and fit for service".... "This cutlass engraved "Chipper" does not look clean, in fact it's covered in blood. Do you know the punishment for breaking the code Chipparggghh?" The Doll looks over to the crew in the most sullen way that a giant robot doll can, then continues, "Of course, if you lent it to someone else, or someone took it, then maybe we wouldn't have to do something.... unpleasant... Is there anything you can tell us about how your sword may have got blood on it, who had it last, who was around when it was taken... anything that would mitigate what is about to happen to you?"



Woody and Sam go back to view McHank's body one more time, this time to check to see if he had been stabbed, to flip him over to check there, and in his pockets, if any.