Poetry Opinions

[Valkyrur]

Alas, the things that happen.
It's nightmares; all with aims to frighten.
Yet to keep is to suffer,
In silence, where naught is there to offer.
To give is to share,
Yet one wonders if it's at all fair.

To oneself, to the beholder,
To others, and to the other.
Yet what choice have thee,
With so much indignation to free?
So filled with reservations,
Thus the silence with reasons?

One has to risk what is necessary,
But one never knows truly.
A reason, then, to hold?

No, a reason to go.
A time for change;
The world will never be the same.

~~~~~

I won't deny that I'm really new to poetry, so there's a lot of rules, and whatnot that I do not know. When providing your C&C and all, I may also not understand some jargon... Like... Iambe? I read that somewhere.. Meters?

With that said, feel free to comment and criticize.

 

[nomad]

Luckily, you didn't use iambs or meter. If you're interested in learning about those things, you can ask me any questions you have in my "Meter School" thread.

You've got rhyming down for the most part. One thing I can point out is that rhymes like "other / beholder," "reservations / reasons," and "necessary / truly" aren't strong rhymes because the syllables that share the vowel/consonant combination that make for the rhyme are unstressed, feminine endings. So they don't resonate very well. I believe it's more effective to make sure that not only that weak last syllable rhymes, but the strong syllable before it. So instead of "other / beholder" you might have to do "other / mother" or "beholder / colder" if you want a strong rhyme.