Serious Please help

Starships

Starships

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I feel like my Mother doesn't really love me or want me at all, same with my Brother. I want to commit suicide. I have been taking medication, but my Mum always pushes it away and idk why. I feel like I want to die.

I feel like I have no true friends

That not even my Mum or sibling loves me or wants to me around me

I feel like a want to drink a bottle of bleach and get it over and done with.

Nobody is going to reply to this, face it, you want me to go.... or you just don't care...

Nobody does.

I try and pretend to be silly, cheerful, and happy. But it's all a lie. Truth is, I'm fucking miserable.
 
Woah, woah, slow down, there. Part of the reason people might be hesitant to respond is not because they don't care, but coming out with something like that all of a sudden is a little intimidating to respond to. What are all the obvious responses? "Yeah, we care!" "Don't do it!" "Aw, I feel ya :( " and the like probably aren't really going to make you feel better, but at the same time these kinds of things are way too broad to address in a single reply. If you want to talk everything out, we're here for you--really--but nobody can make it all better with a few words.

And I can also tell you right now, we won't have all the answers, but we can stick with you through the tough times. That's what friends are really for though, isn't it?

Feel free to PM me if you don't want to talk about everything in public.
 
There is no reason for you to take your own life because of that. I know that you feel lonely and betrayed by your mom but taking your own life is not going to solve the problem. There are a lot of people that is going through the same thing that you are going through right now even worst situation that yours but you have to sit for a second and think about how to solve the problem for yourself. What will make you happy and forget all those problem that you are having right now. I too sometimes feel like that with my dad and mom but hey I always find a way not to think about it and do something to keep me from thinking about it like playing basketball, go out with my friends, walk around the block, do exercises, etc. You can also try to sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel so she can know what you are going through too. Maybe she will listen to you and realize the situation that you are going through at this moment and understand your position.
 
Kirito said:
Feel free to PM me if you don't want to talk about everything in public.
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thankyou
Hakumen said:
There is no reason for you to take your own life because of that. I know that you feel lonely and betrayed by your mom but taking your own life is not going to solve the problem. There are a lot of people that is going through the same thing that you are going through right now even worst situation that yours but you have to sit for a second and think about how to solve the problem for yourself. What will make you happy and forget all those problem that you are having right now. I too sometimes feel like that with my dad and mom but hey I always find a way not to think about it and do something to keep me from thinking about it like playing basketball, go out with my friends, walk around the block, do exercises, etc. You can also try to sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel so she can know what you are going through too. Maybe she will listen to you and realize the situation that you are going through at this moment and understand your position.
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My mum knows that I'm depressed for ages she kept on saying that I wasn't and it was only till she caught me self harming myself 3 years ago that she realized that i do have depression and suicidal thoughts.

i usually love to draw when feeling sad, maybe i could do that

but honestly it's hard when you think that you're this worthless trash that nobody likes.
 
Starships said:
but honestly it's hard when you think that you're this worthless trash that nobody likes.
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So you think you're worthless because no one likes you? That's how you define how worth you are, based on others opinions? If that's the case, then I love you! :P

You shouldn't kill yourself because others don't love you, because killing yourself will just mean you don't love you too. Killing yourself because others (your "mom" or not) don't like you is just stupidity. I mean, expecting affection and love from people who couldn't care less about you and get sad with it has only one name: stupidity. Face the fact that your family doesn't like you, and that are going to be countless people who will not like you, just like there are going to be countless people who will like you too, but since it's a variable you cannot control, it's meaningless to allow yourself to be emotionally affected by it. That's called Upekkha.

Girl, love yourself. Don't do stupid things.
 
It's way too early in life for you to start thinking of ending it. I am not a clinical psychiatrist and can not prescribe you to any medication that you aren't already taking. I can't say that I know you or can offer you a way out. I do know though, just from experiencing my own demons, that there is something beautiful in you.

You have to start evolving. Stop thinking of what you can get for others, but what you can get for yourself. What is it, do you need? What truly makes you happy, even if it is only in moments?

What makes you tick? Only then can you know that someone loves you for the right reasons, not for some superficial reasons. Stop analyzing what your mom or brother think of you, that doesn't change you. It only makes you paranoid.

You said you like to draw, what else? I like to listen to music. I like to work out at 12 am in the morning. I like to focus on things to huge intensity levels, some might call it passion while others call eccentric.

I try to find meaning in everything, and I think you need to start diving deep in you. Stop the whole negativity crap. When you finally start respecting yourself, and start reclaiming you and working on you, you start to work towards dreams. You start to have people perk their ears, eyes, minds up toward you. You start distancing yourself away from the pack and inspiring.

You have to start small. You have to fall. Then pick yourself up. You have support, but you must not let those who have hidden agendas fool you. Don't be guarded all the time either. When you get through all this crap.. you will be stronger. Your mom or brother could be the weak ones.
 
Starships I am Bipolar type II with insane mania when it happens, I'm also schizophrenic. One of my problems when I was suicidal is what I call the echos. I thought my thoughts endlessly and ended up putting my thoughts into others as I saw fit, I am not over this problem yet but am coping by telling people how I feel and if I am corrected my thought pattern is as well.

Since age 6 I kept a dark secret in my about my step father raping me and beating me until I was 17, by this time you can imagine how much damage was done, so when I released this information it was a burst like how you feel now. Pain feels endless because of the circles you travel down while in this reality.

I am under no medication currently even thou I am prescribed Haldol among various others, I feel like it just clouds myself, this is not to say that everyone doesn't need medication thou! The brain is different for everyone which is now my fascination that brings me out of the pain; I wonder why I feel pain, if others feel this as well, can it change? And the answer is yes it can change over time slowly, progressively I think its the small steps such as you trying to be happy in which will lead you there if thought enough. I reversed my echoes to bring happiness as much as I can and then reflect that to those around me because people also do affect your moods yes, but like others have said don't let that lead you!

I know this is semi rushed but my head swims with negative still so I try to take it in small doses so it won't consume me whole... if you ever need a friend I'm just a few clicks and key strokes away as well.
 
Please no! I found myself in your position years ago, but then I developed something I really had the passion for and to do, and since that day I would never look back and care more about my past. Maybe my advice sounds really cliche and as boring as "find your passion" in motivators' show every Sunday in one TV channel, but at least it works on me and some people I advised to do so. At least you really have to care about yourself - not about the others, including the way they look, think, and say about you - because you're worthy. If you feel that you are not in your current society, find another one. Internet is a great escape for people nowadays, and I do find it's easier to express yourself and being true to who you really are in the internet than it is in real world. People care too much about behavior and appearance (plus our records in the past) and not willing to hear from us more if any of the mentioned subject above has minus point in them. If you listen and try to understand them, you will never get them right, vice-versa.

Every single person in this world is unique, even some may be too "eccentric" or "unique" for those around them, but another people find them just right - even amazing. It's a good thing that you share your problems to us here, meaning you trust us here not to judge about you and be willing to hear out your truly, deepest feeling from your heart. It's okay, sharing is caring, we can help you get over your problem and encourage, support you just in time you need us to! Be strong, we are here :)
 
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