Problem

[Davey Gaga]

Got a bird.

Pros:
+ Lives just up the road
+ Does the same stuff at Uni
+ Relatively similar humour
+ Different groups of friends but they occasionally overlap
+ She's particularly fun in the boudoir

Cons:
- She's clingy as FUCK and never gives me my space and seems to expect my attention 24/7

wat do?

 

[Will Graham]

The clingy thing is not so bad I think considering the pros, personally I hate clingy birds but that is not too important

How open would she be to chatting about space and time apart? Is she rational I mean

 

[Ethics]

Buy her a dog.

 

[Davey Gaga]

A bit, but Freshers Week is just around the corner and we're both helpers, so if we "had a bit of space" she'd end up shagging everyone.

In fairness, that would mean I could too...but I'm not that smooth. lolz.

 

[Will Graham]

Then when you see her walking the dog, ask her 'who's walking whom?'. Bitches love a grammatically correct cunt

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

ehhh the clingy wouldn't bother me too much. i'd say you need to let her know that now though before it causes a shit storm down the line.

 

[Will Graham]

If giving her space means she will likely ride the box off a lot of people, is that even a relationship? I'm not trying to sound like a douche, but it seems odd

If you both aren't that interested in committing see how much mileage you can get out of her vagina

 

[Davey Gaga]

also she gets on at me for basically not jumping on her and raping her at every opportunity. i'm like, well you can be a bit of a dead/lazy fish. you do something for a change.

 

[Davey Gaga]

DOUBLE ALSO, my mum and dad went away on a cruise for a week so she came round for the whole entire week. 7 consecutive days of her moaning? get tae fuck.

 

[Belazor et Britannia]

What to do? Stop expecting that someone will be around only when you want them to be =p

Be thankful you have someone in your life that wants to spend time with you

 

[Will Graham]

How long have you been together? If all you have in common really is humour, see if you can lure her in to sex buddyism

Not in that sex predator way I made it sound like though

 

[Donald Trump]

Fuck her and then act like a cunt.
This comes naturally to me, you may need to practise.

 

[Will Graham]

Hal is wise in the ways of women, to be sure

 

[Davey Gaga]

A dilemma indeed.

 

[Will Graham]

Ask to take a dump on her chest

 

[Donald Trump]

Tell her you want to fuck her in the arse.
It's a win-win situation.

 

[Davey Gaga]

We're not really there yet.

 

[Donald Trump]

Put on some Marvin Gaye or Barry White, open a bottle of wine or vodka and ask her about her ambitions, dreams, etc etc.

 

[Will Graham]

You only get there by asking, it isn't anal, you can't just 'slip in there by mistake'

 

[Jack's Smirking Revenge]

i'm not gonna lie, this breaks my heart a little ):