Serious Psychological Abuse

[Six]

Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, child abuse and abuse in the workplace.

Verbal abuse (also known as reviling) is described as a negative defining statement told to the person or about the person or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and indulge in a defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one.

In couple relationships the verbal abuser responds to the partner's "separateness," i.e., independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, expressions (even of happiness) as an irritant or even an attack. While some people believe the abuser has low self-esteem and so attempts to place their victim in a similar position, i.e., to believe negative things about himself or herself this is not usually the case in couple relationships. A man may, for example, disparage a woman partner simply because she has qualities that were disparaged in him, i.e., emotional intelligence, warmth, receptivity and so forth.

Verbal abuse also includes the following: Countering, withholding, discounting, abuse disguised as a joke (sarcasm), blocking and diverting, accusing and blaming, judging and criticizing, trivializing, undermining, threatening, name calling, chronic forgetting, ordering, denial of anger or abuse, abusive anger.

The abuser: Abusers may see their behaviours as defensive behaviours rather than as abusive behaviours. In their mind, they're not attacking you; they keep you from attacking them, even if you have no intention to attack them.

Ignoring desires

The abuser often ignores the wishes of the victim. The abuser may believe that their opinions and decisions are more important than the victim's, even with the victim is fully capable of making their own decisions about the matter. Some abusers ignore the victim's wishes just out of selfishness, only wanted to do what the abuser wants to do.
Examples: "I don't care if you want to [work in a different career, cut your hair, buy the red car, ...] because you need to [do what I want you to do] instead." "I don't want to do that, so we're going to do this instead."

Insults

Calling somebody a name, telling them that they are less significant than somebody else, comparing them to undesirable people or animals, or suggesting that they are fundamentally messed up is abusive. It doesn't matter if you say it nicely or if you're just trying to help that person get motivated to change. Even something said as a joke can be abusive.
Examples: "You're [stupid, defective, unlikable, unlovable, a mistake, retarded, brain damaged, a pig, a slob, a klutz, just like your uncle (who possesses qualities the abuser dislikes), ...]." "You can't do anything right." "Why are you so [lazy, boring, ...]?

Blame

Telling somebody that they are at fault for things when they actually aren't the person to blame is abusive. Most of the time, abusers do this because they want somebody to blame for their problems and aren't willing to take responsibility for their mistakes. Other times, the abuser uses blaming as insults, which may actually be intended to help the victim or to simply ensure that somebody is assigned fault for a problem. Examples: "You're the one [making everybody miserable, making me angry, who screwed up, ...]." "You're the reason why [I couldn't have the life that I wanted, I never get to have any fun, ...]." "It's your fault that [he cheated on you, she died so young, I'm so unhappy, ...]."

Raging

The abuser may not actually hit you, but if they start yelling, screaming, throwing things, hitting walls, or slamming doors, they are creating an environment of fear to threaten and control you.

[h=4]Disrespectful Speaking[/h]

Speaking to somebody with disrespect is abusive because it indicates that they are beneath you and are insignificant. Disrespectful speaking can be in the form of barking orders, sarcasm, disregarding statements, or acting annoyed for having to talk to the victim.

[h=4]Banning / Ignoring / Silent Treatment / Shunning[/h]

An abuser may use banishment behavior to punish the victim. Shunning behavior includes ignoring, refusing to speak, refusing to listen, not keeping promises, and pretending the victim isn't even there. It is important to note that this behavior isn't done to protect the abuser from the victim; it's done to manipulate the victim.

[h=4]Trivializing Feelings[/h]

An abuser may dismiss the feelings of a victim to avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes.

Examples: "You take everything too seriously." "I guess I just can't joke with you." "You're too sensitive." "You're making a big deal out of nothing." "It wasn't that bad."

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Informative or tl;barely read it, either way. Have you ever been in a relationship family/partner wise where you were on the receiving end of Verbal abuse? Or maybe you were the verbal abuser? This is a sensitive topic for a lot of people to talk about and most people will never talk about it, but it's really going against the saying sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me. There was another recent topic were that line was mentioned, and it just made me think about a lot.

So, what are your thoughts on this? Do you think calling your partner/family member names is okay? What are your views? If you've been in a situation like these, and care to share your story, feel free to as well.

Maybe you even experienced these kinda things at your work environment? Actual abuse on the work floor is not something new in this age.

 

[Steve-O]

I did not believe that somebody could be abused in any form of verbal way etc, that was until it happened to myself earier this year. soooo I was with my last girlfriend (and we were quite happy together) then i would say about febuary this year, something changed. I don't know what. but she started using me, but in a way where i couldn't notice it, a way when I wouldn't know that i was being used. she would start some kind of argument, but in a way soooo she could alwaysblame it on me, then afterwards, she would be like 'oh, to get my trust back can you buy me some gifts' in the silly person i was 'first love and all' I would, then everytime she would ask for a little more. but if i ever say no, I would get like 'oh if you truly loved me, you would get it'. this went on, then my brother got dianozed with his brain tumor, then she started using that and the fact that 'I couldn't spend enough time with her' to get more stuff from me. I finally noticed when i relized that my anger problems were starting to come back due to what was going on. I would call this emotional abuse, not only did she use my feelings toward her to her advantage, she also used my emotions of my brothers dianostice to her advantage. it was the worse feeling ever when i noticed what happened, and something i still not gotten over, I throught that i was strong, but infact i was sooo weak to let in to that, simple stuff. I felt sooo stupid that someone would use my own feelings and that to their advantage just to get what they want. it just horrible, plain horrible.

 

[Ilyena]

My mother is emotionally/verbally abusive to the point where I was actually afraid of her growing up and I was always walking on eggshells. You never knew when she was going to flip out about the slightest thing. If she ever said anything to me, she was criticizing me. She would even encourage it when my brother would constantly harass and pick on me as a child (he's another story) and when I got upset, I was just being too sensitive. She always had this attitude as if we owed her something because she gave birth to us. To this day, I have a hard time getting along with her because she still refuses to just let me live my life. If I do something she doesn't agree with, she sends me nasty emails. We're at a period where we're getting along right now as I don't live near her and I talk to her probably once every two weeks or less. I don't trust for a second that anything has changed though.

I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend. Another person who always made me feel like I was walking on eggshells because he would flip out over the stupidest things. He would criticize me on everything from my choice of music to my family and would tell me how lucky I was to have him (yeah, right). He also had extreme jealousy issues. He would call me constantly and if I didn't pick up, I would get yelled at. He didn't like me talking to anyone other than him. He even got pissed once because I said hi to the handyman at my apartment building. Even breaking up with him was difficult. He basically told me that he hadn't said we were breaking up so we weren't breaking up. Afterwards, he stalked me on MSN for a while until I blocked him. About a year later, he had the nerve to call me and complain about his life. He was married with a baby on the way and he claimed he was thinking of committing suicide (I didn't believe the suicide part, he was just trying to get sympathy). Call me a bitch but I didn't feel sorry for him and I told him never to call me again.

 

[Six]

I did not believe that somebody could be abused in any form of verbal way etc, that was until it happened to myself earier this year. soooo I was with my last girlfriend (and we were quite happy together) then i would say about febuary this year, something changed. I don't know what. but she started using me, but in a way where i couldn't notice it, a way when I wouldn't know that i was being used. she would start some kind of argument, but in a way soooo she could alwaysblame it on me, then afterwards, she would be like 'oh, to get my trust back can you buy me some gifts' in the silly person i was 'first love and all' I would, then everytime she would ask for a little more. but if i ever say no, I would get like 'oh if you truly loved me, you would get it'. this went on, then my brother got dianozed with his brain tumor, then she started using that and the fact that 'I couldn't spend enough time with her' to get more stuff from me. I finally noticed when i relized that my anger problems were starting to come back due to what was going on. I would call this emotional abuse, not only did she use my feelings toward her to her advantage, she also used my emotions of my brothers dianostice to her advantage. it was the worse feeling ever when i noticed what happened, and something i still not gotten over, I throught that i was strong, but infact i was sooo weak to let in to that, simple stuff. I felt sooo stupid that someone would use my own feelings and that to their advantage just to get what they want. it just horrible, plain horrible.

It's actually really easy to have your feelings be messed with like that. Specially like you said in relationships, you trust that person, you don't expect them to use it against you when someone so close to you is diagnosed with something like that.

I think it's absolutely horrible, and so unreal sounding people would actually do that, you know, "If you really love me, you'd by me this" =/ What's that gift going to do for them? Absolutely nothing.

It's very easy to point fingers in arguements, but I think true colours show when people suddenly forget they can genuinely say sorry for something. Everyone says something wrong to some other sometimes, but it's about realizing, and standing up for that is what a lot of people have trouble with.

You shouldn't really blame yourself though, recognizing is the first step of being honest with yourself, admitting that something's up. You weren't just going in circles, you changed something for the better. =]

My mother is emotionally/verbally abusive to the point where I was actually afraid of her growing up and I was always walking on eggshells. You never knew when she was going to flip out about the slightest thing. If she ever said anything to me, she was criticizing me. She would even encourage it when my brother would constantly harass and pick on me as a child (he's another story) and when I got upset, I was just being too sensitive. She always had this attitude as if we owed her something because she gave birth to us. To this day, I have a hard time getting along with her because she still refuses to just let me live my life. If I do something she doesn't agree with, she sends me nasty emails. We're at a period where we're getting along right now as I don't live near her and I talk to her probably once every two weeks or less. I don't trust for a second that anything has changed though.

I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend. Another person who always made me feel like I was walking on eggshells because he would flip out over the stupidest things. He would criticize me on everything from my choice of music to my family and would tell me how lucky I was to have him (yeah, right). He also had extreme jealousy issues. He would call me constantly and if I didn't pick up, I would get yelled at. He didn't like me talking to anyone other than him. He even got pissed once because I said hi to the handyman at my apartment building. Even breaking up with him was difficult. He basically told me that he hadn't said we were breaking up so we weren't breaking up. Afterwards, he stalked me on MSN for a while until I blocked him. About a year later, he had the nerve to call me and complain about his life. He was married with a baby on the way and he claimed he was thinking of committing suicide (I didn't believe the suicide part, he was just trying to get sympathy). Call me a bitch but I didn't feel sorry for him and I told him never to call me again.

Yeah, I've heard of people like that before. Like they blame their children for not being able to live their own life properly anymore. You didn't choose to be put on this planet, they did. It's very easy for someone to say you're being too sensitive when they flat out just don't understand or care to understand. 'Trivializing feelings'.

 

[The Master]

My boyfriend and I joke around and call eachother names just to be funny, it's NEVER intended to be out of spite. I think it's special when you can joke around with someone like that but realize that you each don't mean it... I WILL admit I have been abusive but it was unintentional and I never meant to be hurtful. Does it make me a bad person? I don't like to think so. Because I learn from my mistakes and use those to become a better person. I don't think I have ever been abused... I'm usually the unintentional bully. It's just who I am. It's just verbal abusive fun. I would NEVER call someone something that they don't like. I made it clear to my boyfriend that I never want him to call me a dumbass, but he is free to call me anything else. I hope this makes sense to all of you...

 

[Six]

My boyfriend and I joke around and call eachother names just to be funny, it's NEVER intended to be out of spite. I think it's special when you can joke around with someone like that but realize that you each don't mean it... I WILL admit I have been abusive but it was unintentional and I never meant to be hurtful. Does it make me a bad person? I don't like to think so. Because I learn from my mistakes and use those to become a better person. I don't think I have ever been abused... I'm usually the unintentional bully. It's just who I am. It's just verbal abusive fun. I would NEVER call someone something that they don't like. I made it clear to my boyfriend that I never want him to call me a dumbass, but he is free to call me anything else. I hope this makes sense to all of you...

I'd say there's a fine line, but it's actually a warning sign slapping you in the face kinda line between joking and verbal abuse.

Verbal abuse isn't a joke. It isn't said jokingly by the abuser, it isn't taken jokingly by the person being abused. You make a clear point with arguing, actual arguments, not your every other day bickering, you need limits, you both need to have some ground. If you both are okay making jokes when you're playing around calling each other an idiot, or a douchebag, that's fair enough, that's your PERSONAL limit and tolerance.

However when it comes to actual arguing, down talking, belittling? See the difference? If you both know its a joke, it's not anything close to the topic.

 

[Harlequin]

I read the informative part of the first post and I didn't think any of it applied to me at first but if I'm harsh on myself I'd probably say I give people the silent treatment sometimes. If I'm angry, upset or offended by someone I tend to go silent on them, although the reasons for why I do I'd say are less contrived in the way of "time to blank their texts, make that bitch suffer yeah" and more "I'm not gonna deal with this right now" so I don't think it's really as applicable considering what it takes to actually set me off that way. That said, there are multiple reasons why I wouldn't speak with someone so there's a good chance if they feel I'm blanking them it's just a misunderstanding.

I guess I'm also guilty of shunning in some ways although again it's not a weapon for me to spite someone but just a way for me to protect my interests. For example someone recently felt like I was shunning them and deduced from it that somehow they must have transgressed on me but on my part it was solely due to circumstance and interests. The reality of the situation was that we couldn't hang out as much anymore because the two of us had our priorities to attend to. If they're the type of person to tend to their responsibilities then call me and disregard my priorities when they want something and use mutual factors as leverage (i.e. "let's go out tonight"... "I can't I've got work tomorrow"... "forget that we haven't hung out in ages, etc") then I might remind them of my disdain towards that attitude at first but if it continues... they're getting shunned.

Also, I'm a very passionate and expressive person, which means by and large someone will know how I think and feel about them if they're constantly around me with little margin for error really. This ties in directly with how I deal with grievances in relationships. If I have a problem with something you're doing or you've done you're going to know about it pretty fast and when you couple this confrontational attitude with my expressive characteristics I can see how it creates an intimidating situation to be in for anyone who would feel particularly vulnerable in that position.

But I never let my anger manifest itself physically. I'm not the type of person to break things around me and I've never hit a woman unless you count play fighting with my sister. So while it's easy to be intimidated by the way I react to a transgression it's not an air of intimidation I put up either deliberately or subconsciously to strong arm someone into doing what I expect from them.

I never deliberately make a girl I'm involved with feel like she's worthless or insult her and I really believe those are the hallmarks of a desperate, embittered loser who has his own self worth issues. I think a lot of the abusive characteristics described in Six's post are prevalent in a worrying number of men. It's a widely accepted train of thought by many men that if you've been rejected by a woman it was little to do with genuine substance (ability to provide for her, make her feel good when she's with you, etc) but rather your inability to manipulate (see abuse) her properly. It's as ridiculous as it is tragic.

Rather than improving yourself and your situation the tactic involves bringing down her standards by employing a combination of the abusive traits seen in the first post and smoke and mirrors to make it seem you're more valuable than you are. The problem of course is that once the guy gets the girl to stoop to his level in order to keep her he has to maintain the tactic, because obviously his substance wasn't enough to get her in the first place. This leads to abusive relationships where the abusive man feels as if he can't afford to let up on the abuse just in case the penny drops for her and she realizes that whether she can do better or not, she shouldn't be involved with him.

But whilst people in these situations are no doubt victims of abuse, it's their susceptibility to abuse that dignifies the abuser's course of action (it should be noted at this point that I'm not referring to child victims). It's in no way a justification of their abuse, but by tolerating the abuse you enable the abuse. In that respect, people who find themselves in these positions cannot afford to take the position of a perennial victim because in many ways it's symptomatic of the abuser's views of themselves. You're responsible for your own actions which means if you have a problem with something the onus is on you to react. In the case of many abusers they themselves have a victim complex be it because of being a victim of former abuse, heart break, injustice etc. This in turn gives them the mentality of a perennial victim, someone who views society as a dark, dystopian place and by extension makes meaningful relationships hard to develop because of their doubt, mistrust and selfish drive.

So in my opinion, just as important as it is to get out of such relationships it's also important to shun the negativity, injustice and bitterness that comes naturally with being a victim lest you become a perennial victim and in turn, someone prone to abusive interactions.

 

[Lirael]

My first boyfriend certainly played the blame game.

He would accuse me of doing things that I simply hadn't done. He'd accuse me of being dishonest, of cheating on him (when I discussed porn with a close male friend) and he frequently told me that I didn't love him. He followed the last accusation with ultimatums to manipulate me constantly. :/
- If you love me, you'll move away from home and come to live with me.
- If you love me, you'll tell me everything.
- If you love me, you won't talk to X anymore because he fancies you. I don't care if he's one of your best friends.
- If you love me, you'll give me a _________.
- If you love me, you'll have sex with me.

Insults were on the list too!
- Disney movies are stupid. How can you enjoy watching them? (I stopped watching them for our entire relationship because of how terrible he made me feel!)
- ...You like Nickelback? Idiots like Nickelback.

I think guilt trips are pretty abusive too. He actually made me feel guilty about the lifestyle I lead and made me feel as though I shouldn't be grateful; I should reject it. I have very supportive parents, but he made it seem as though, if I were a good person, I would leave home and live with him. I didn't even have A-Levels at this point.

He and I have since settled our differences and we're now friends, but it was tough at the time and I will always support people who I perceive to be in these relationships in the future. I know from experience that you can't force someone to turn away from people they love, even if they are a bit abusive, but you can remind them that they are worth so much more. You can make them feel positive and confident; if they ask, you can assure them that they are special and beautiful. You can help them realise that they are unhappy, and show them, through your behaviour, that happiness with good people is possible!

 

[Squid]

I guess everyones been abused psychologically in some way or another, whether it just be something mild or something a lot bigger.

I've been told I'm not good enough, told I don't do things correctly, been compared to other people in regards to how much better they are or how they do blah but I don't. It's not a nice feeling. It's stuff like this which has gotten me very down in the past but I'm trying to over come this kind of stuff. If someone tries to get me down psychologically then they're not worth my time. It's really just as bad as physical abuse sometimes I think.

I have also been on the other end of it though and I wont deny that.

 

[Marquis of Granby]

i think everyone probably experiences it to some degree but i also think that the term is potentially abused by people who are just far too sensitive. being called a name doesnt necessarily mean you are being psychologically abused. if it did that would cheapen the plight of people who do actually suffer from real psychological abuse. i think if a person says (or does) malicious things which they know will get to you whether they genuinely believe them or not they are playing games with you and trying to evoke negative emotions because it makes them feel better to make you feel worse. if i have an argument with a friend or a family member i will always avoid doing this unless it's a case of just not sugar coating the truth. i'm probably not very tactful with that, but i'm not spiteful and malicious about it either.

i think that unless you're very vulnerable you shouldn't feel psychologically abused by strangers. it's something that's typically dished out by people who know you and who know how to hit you where it hurts or to manipulate you, or in the case of work, someone you spend most of the day with. having someone constantly nip your head all day can be draining and eventually it will get to you. on the face of it you'd think everyone who is spiteful and malicious in this way knows exactly what they're doing but i dont think that's the case. sometimes it's a way of life for a person; they believe that interactions with other people are opportunities to manipulate, guilt and abuse until they get what they want. the end always justifies the means. i suppose it's hard to change if you have always been that way.

sometimes when i talk to or about people i can often seem quite rude and/or nasty but mostly they know me well enough to realise there isn't any malice in what i say. usually if they are genuinely offended then i'll apologise and blah blah blah. unless i feel they're offended over fuck all then i have an issue with apologising just for the sake of appeasing them. so i guess that is my version of maliceless, spiteless psychological abuse.

 

[The Welsh Paddy]

I hate it when people are just incredibly oversensitive and expect people to tread eggshells around them so as not to hurt their feelings. That is something I will never do. I'll be considerate of people's feelings, but if I have to be a completely different person around them then that's a different matter.

But, on the subject at hand, I did get it pretty bad. From my own mother, no less.

Looking back on it now, I think it was mostly out of jealousy, and a very sad attempt at keeping "her little boy" home with her. I guess it kinda started back when I was in highschool, but back then it had more of an effect on my siblings as well as myself. I mean, her social life pretty much revolved around being in the pub, and so we were often neglected in favour of her spending time with her friends, or with her "new man" at the time. When I started college, it was me who began taking the brunt of it. Now, my youngest sister doesn't share the same father as me and my brothers, and that idiot fucked off shortly after she was born. My mum was happy to leave it to me to do most of the raising, though.

Because my mum never really bothered much with us, it was me who helped her learn to read, to write, to ride a bike, and to generally set an example of what a man should be even though at the time I barely had an idea myself. (I've never had a strong male presense in my life, so.) It was also always down to me to stay at home and look after my siblings so she could go out to the pub almost every night, and whenever she was home for the night she was always too tired to even want to give us the time of day.

But back to the whole fiasco when I was in college. As I said, it was then that I started taking the brunt of things. First it just began with little remarks like "Oh, you're never going to get a job from studying art, or music" and things like that. To begin with, it was just a matter of being all "Yeah whatever" but as the courses I took got more stressful, it did start to really grate on me. As I made friends, and started having a social life, she tried taking that away from me because it meant less time at the pub for her. I got a part time job, so she started demanding that I start paying my own way at home even though she was still getting child benefits for me, which more than covered that. And all she ever did with that money was use it to go to the pub, or to go on holidays with "her new man". She would constantly beat me down with whatever I wanted to do with my life. Constantly made me feel like I would never amount to anything. Constantly make me feel bad for not "being there" for my brothers and sister even though she was never there herself.

I struck an all-time low when I was in my third relationship. The relationship started off fine for the first six months or so. It was fantastic. But then came all the jealousy. She was never happy with me being around my friends, she was constantly paranoid that I fancied other people. And whenever she was around while I was talking to a friend, she would constantly try to make out with me right there and then. I remember telling her once that it was rude, inconsiderate, and that the last thing I would want when talking to a friend would be for their partner to just cut in and start snogging them. Needless to say, she went on a rampage, started threatening to leave me and what have you. I told her that if she's gonna be that way, then fine. But what really got to me in the relationship, was the suicide threats. The last three months of the relationship I only stuck out because I was terrified she would go and friggin' down a bottle of bleach or throw herself off a bridge or something. I hated it, and it was so terrible at the time because of what my mum was putting me through, I ended up feeling like offing myself instead.

Well, finally ridding myself of that relationship, things were so much easier to deal with. I started looking to move out of my home. Of course, my mum didn't want any of that, and tried her utmost to stop me from leaving. It was easier to deal with then because well, all the shit I got came from the one place rather than many. But life at home was fucking hell. Her newest boyfriend was a complete twat. He practically lived in our house, and treated it as if it was his own house. Whenever I came home, I felt like I was intruding, that I was unwelcome. And so I became a hermit, spending my time at home being cooped in the bedroom I share with my two brothers. All this had a massive impact on my mental health, but I wouldn't speak a word of it to any counsellor or anything because despite all the shit my mum put us through, I never wanted to say anything bad about her to anyone.

So I spent years trying out different medication to treat my anxiety and depression, going to "group therapy" meetings, but it never changed because of how adamant I was to not say a word wrong about my own mum. And she knew this. Playing all her friends, and the rest of the family like idiots, she's got them believing she's a fucking saint when it comes to bringing up the four of us.

Now, almost four years ago, I finally moved out! Moved into a small flat with my fiance (girlfriend at the time) in South Wales. It seemed that my relationship with my mum was on the mend, and me and my fiance decided to go and have a little 'un for ourselves. Things were really looking up until shortly after young Paddy was born. My mum started getting up to her old tricks again, and because I finally grew the bollocks to stand up to her, she went and fucking turned the whole family against me. It was me who became the outcast, the one that everyone else hated, and it very much nearly destroyed me. There were people who I looked up to and loved my whole life who began treating my like dirt. All because of that manipulative cow I once called mother.

I still haven't gotten over it. I'm friggin' haunted by dreams where someone in my family will just suddenly get in touch and say that "Oh, your granny has died," or whatever and then start all over to try and break me. They already tried that once when my Great Aunt passed away. I guarantee they will try it again. The best that I could do is to just try and cut them all out and stop caring about them. But it's fucking hard. That's probably something they'll always have on me and use against me.

EDIT: I also forgot to mention that my mum was also notorious for saying how she would like to kill herself because of me.

 

[Cardinal Copia]

Me and my sister call each other names all the time. Same with my cousin as well. We call each other names, flip each other off, etc. If you didnt know us you'd swear we legitimately were serious sometimes. That's just how our family is though. We pick at each other back and forth and have fun. Having said that though, NOTHING we ever say is meant to be taken seriously. And we all understand that. We know its in fun and that we love one another. It's purely for a joking manner. There's a huge difference between saying stuff at somebody and being a clown, and saying stuff and being abusive. It's all about the context and the tone at which you say stuff.

On a much more serious note, mental abuse is worse than physical abuse imo. It's much tougher to overcome, and alot of times people never overcome it in their life. It's an awful thing that I wish nobody had to endure.