[Real RP!] - Have Party, Will Travel

Ryan grinned at Aedan. "Jailbreak, really. Morris is going to be a bit too...spicy for all of us for a bit, so we're heading off to Sturmhalten on our way to the capital. Oh here we go, our number's up," he added merrily as Ty's Door of Wind came up and the werewolf vanished through it.

Ryan boldly stepped through, tugging his giant ferret along by the leash that doubled as reins, and the mustelid obligingly followed. Ryan somewhat enjoyed that chilly feeling caused by the winds and the magic involved. Everything seemed perfectly normal on the other side, a regular early night just outside an average little town...until Ryan heard Ty groan morosely, then some moans, felt his boots hit a distinctly slimy surface...and then smelled the air.

Plato did too and let a soft little growl while his fur pricked up in hackles and his tail stiffened, frizzing over.

Ryan sighed, stepped out next to Ty and took a strong whiff of night air through the nose. "Aaaah..." he exclaimed in a theatrically pleased manner. "Putrefaction! I never tire of smelling that the first time I step into any town. And I hear moans and groans," he added, on cue to a new round of groans for brains. "Walking dead! Lovely! Now you all are going to blame me for this mess, as if it's my fault. Wonderful," he ended, the whole thing spewed with copious amounts of snark.

Sturmhalten was a town of roughly a thousand residents, built in a lush prairie with a mixed forest just to the west of it. The people lived off agriculture, beastkeeping and some craftsmanship, famed for their textiles. It lay in an organized grid with paved streets, no less than three charming squares and four alehouses. The tallest building, the clock-tower of the Town Hall dominated the city without obscuring it...and now illuminated by the abnormal glow of a fire burning up one of the houses not far from it. More houses, none of them taller than two floors, were burning slowly, smoke rising in the air slowly. The town church's bell tolled twice ominously as they watched as if to accentuate the situation that Ryan suspected plagued the town.

And surely enough the air was rife with the stench of rot and death. Faint noises of melee came from the town not five minutes brisk pace away from their Door of Wind. Even closer were the shuffles and groans of the walking dead that--

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"They're zombies! Phoebe, stop tiptoeing around it and just say it! Don't pull everyone's leg! We're dealing with zombies! Jeez!!"

Shut up, Ryan! Let me write!

"Just get on with it! You've got people waiting already as it is!"

Alright, alright! Christ!
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Ahem, as I was saying...

There were zombies approaching them surely enough, chanting their ever-present mantra, demanding brains...although some still managed to remain out of tune.

"Braaaaaaains..."

"Brrrrrrrrrrrainssssss...."

"Briaaaans..."

"...For fuck's sake George, it's braaaaaaains."

"Shuttup! Briaaaans..."

Ryan couldn't help it. He brought his hands to his waist, drooped his head a little, shook it in dejection and chuckled. "Well, fuck me sideways. I drag us out of one predicament and bring us into another. First demonic warlocks, now a zombie outbreak! I imagine when we do get to the capital there'll be an invasion by multicolored, adorable little horses!"

Plato whined, sitting on his haunches and lifting his hid foot to scratch his ear a little and shook his head vigorously as if in agreement.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose we should go check how bad it is? We can head for the church of St. Jevel in the center. I imagine that's where most of the survivors will be, that place always had some hulking wards...and well, it had Rachel too. You'll like her Ty, she's a nice missy...for a nun."

Ryan looked back at the Door of Wind, expecting to see the bewildered faces of everyone else, and mentally preparing himself for their reactions. He especially wanted to see Raz's face. She definitely wasn't going to take it well.
 
Aaron was amazed that Ty was able to use such magic to travel a distance in a short amount of time, The breeze from the gate slapped his face making his hair float slightly.

"Heh these people never cease to amaze me..."

He walked inside and tripped over something, when he opened his eyes he was nose to nose with a stinking undead man moaning, he freaked out and pushed back launching himself onto his ass yelling.

"WHAT Kind of freakish hell did you send us to Ty!?"He yelled out as he jumps to his feet and stab the zombie in the face.

He pull's out the sword and stays by the gate making sure no one else gets surprised by this, but he realizes something... "I....Came dangerously close to kissing that brain muncher...Is this really Sturmhalten?"

((OOC:Hope that was comical :O))
 
“Yes, of course Mages wear panties,” Tali shot back. Of course, anything overtly sexual always had Tali uncomfortable. Talk about panties was no different. “B-but let us not talk about such things.” If someone ever called her a prude, it was always hard to argue. She couldn’t help it if she was more reserved than most people. Some people went around throwing out their sexuality to everyone in sight. Tali, on the other hand, would never dream of doing so. It just simply wasn’t in her nature at all.

There was more talk… but none of it really concerned her. She already knew the destination; that was all she really needed to know. However, Ty, appeared to be wanting to do something different. Not only that, he always appeared to be in a bad mood. Sure, she wasn’t very friendly herself, but this man always appeared as if he had a stick lodged up his bottom. Before she could think of anything else, he threw a coin to the ground and suddenly Tali realized what was going on.

He was going to teleport them all! He explained what it would do and where it would take them and something about a necromancer of some sort. Before she knew it, the doors were up and she went through. The entire feeling left her a little nauseous. But as soon as she stepped through her foot landed in something disgusting. “Eww…” she said. What was this stuff? Before she could find out she heard the sound of “brains” from around her.

Most people never found this out about Tali. When she was young she had a close encounter with a zombie and it left her terrified. So when she heard the zombies… she wasn’t very amused. For a little while she stood there with a look of panic and fear on her face. However, as she heard Ryan speak. She couldn’t recall what he was saying, but it was nice to hear a familiar voice. He said something about a church of some sort. She didn’t really care, she wanted out of there now.

As a few of the zombies started getting closer, Tali couldn’t take it anymore. With fire in her right hand and lighting in her left, she lashed out at the zombies and aimed at their heads. She was far too panicked for her own good. “P-please… let us hurry and get out of here…”
 
OOC: Finally, gais, I get to enter this slaughterfest as well!
Infotime, I might have said this before but I'm still going to explain it this once again.

"hello" - Iras speaking, normal voice and everything

"hello" - (itallic) Iras thinking to himself or "speaking" to Scelus, no one can hear this unless one can read minds.

"hello" - Scelus speaking, his voice explained in post and in character bio

"hello" - (itallic) Scelus thinking or talking to Iras, no one can hear this unless one can read minds.
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Iras could not say that he was happy about his soon to be hangout, living in the circles that he does he tends to pick up some strange information at times. In this case he had found out that there might be 'something dark' happening in Sturmhalten. Not that he knew what this dark thing is or what it could do, but it sounded like it was something to send Scelus at, for him to vent some steam as this did tend to make him much more manageable.
Having traveled quite some time from a dock-town to the north of Sturmhalten, he slowly got closer to the destination. Internally to himself, and sadly to his companion, he thought about the soon to come opposing force. The information weren't exactly specific but that did not stop him from going, rumors included zombies, skeletons, a lot of infected/diseased people and similar things. Good thing that Iras was basically immune to any sicknesses. The only fact that was known was that there were no cure and killing them was the only way of setting them free, not to mention that their minds were already gone. This was an opportunity for Iras; he got to help out the local population and Scelus got to 'go mad'… so to speak, without having to send a headhunt after Iras again.

Nearing the large clearing where the town was said to reside he found the little town. It did not have any city walls, most of the things were made of wood, a few of combined wood/stone and nota building had more than two stories. The smell in the air spoke of rot and gore; sadly a familiar smell to Iras.
"Smell the roses, Iras. This place speaks of death and decay even before I get to do something!" Scelus stated in Iras' mind, Iras could not do anything but sigh.

As he neared the town, following what seemed like a 'main road' to the place, a woman with a young boy ran past him; clearly seeming in fear and terror, only carrying a single backpack that again seemed packed in a hurry.
"Iras, let me kill them! Release me! I will bathe in the entrails of the child as the mother watches before I slowly take her life with the bones of her c*" Iras stopped him there with a reply of his own.
"Scelus, how many times have I told you, I will not let you loose on random civilians, she is running away. Stop whining or I will not let you have your fill in Sturmhalten" sadly this was a normal bickering for the two, Scelus wanted to 'do his thing' whereas Iras preferred to stay on the good side of life. The only positive thing was that this only happened in Iras' head so the plots for murder weren't heard by anyone else.

Nearing the town it was clear what had happened here, or rather; not what happened but what was the after-effect of it. The living dead, undead, zombies… the creatures had many names but all pointed to the same end image; the dead, some more than half rotted, were walking feeling like feeding upon your person.
Walking into town it started, a few shambling creates started dragging their ass towards Iras, one had a broken foot and were basically stepping on the ankle as the foot was broken-bent inwards.
"Iras, Iras! Let me loose! You promised!" Like a puppy being teased with 'want to go out, boy? want to go out?' with an overly eager motion Scelus was beginning to act like a spoiled child.
"I don’t know, you feel like you deserved it?" Iras replied with a taunting mental voice.
"But you promised!" the demon's reply sounded.
"You have promised a lot of things as well in the past, and broken them. What if we just turn around now and go back to that nice colorful town we passed though. That was a nice place; everyone so helpful" Iras still taunting the satanic demon in his head.
Iras has to concentrate to hold Scelus away from gaining control; not something too hard as he had done this thousands of time before, but now he let the demon get closer to control but not quite there. This was to tease Scelus as you do with a dog; holding tasties just out of reach.
The odd thing with this is that since Scelus did manage to gain minute control but lose it, Iras stood there twitching every now and then as the creatures got closer.

Then it happened, Iras made good on his word as a man always should do, and Scelus gained full control. The right eye light up and could be seen from afar if staring into it, the stone arm on his right hand lit up like a forge; burning the leather glove he had used during travel to hide it, as it was paper on a bonfire.
"FINALLY!" the deep gurgling sound of Scelus shouted though Iras' lips as he gained the sweet, sweet control he needed to remove these abominations from existence. A crouching and kick-off as if he were jumping forward with all his might effectively shooting him off straight ahead like a humanoid missile. Crash landing into a zombie in front of him.
"…Brains…?" it stated as it looked on the possessed man.
"If you wish!" Scelus replied as he punched his arm with all his strength into the zombie's head.
Off course this was somewhat overpowered, but the demon had been pent up from not getting to kill anything for days, weeks even!
The demon arm crushed the zombie's head like it was a watermelon, mental gore and fractured bone splinters found its way around the vicinity of the head as the fist kept on going deep into the ground. Standing up as he pulled the arm out the zombie was left with a well ventilated skull and a foot-deep hole under it.

"braaaains…." the sound came from his right, a twitch of his whole body was enough energy to step over and grab hold of the zombie's head, the searing hot stone arm burned itself though the head more and more as the grip tightened, even the undead let out a scream of pain. During all this the demon had a twisted grin on his face; clearly liking it but having anything but pleasant thoughts in his mind.
Spin-kicking the last of the walking corpses in the chest sent it flying a good 5-7 meters before it landed in a farmer's tool stand, effectively impaling it on a few broken tools.

"Are there no more!?" he shouted as a challenge to the nearby area. And to his delight a small group of 4 came shambling around a house, one of them climbing; or rather falling, out of a broken window. Scelus' grin widened even more, twisting his face to an almost demonic look… though that might be the shaded lighting and his eye.
Again kicking off, using the distance to pick up speed, he used his own body as a wrecking ball aimed at two of the shamblers, as contact was made the momentum did not stop. A nearby wall marked the first stage of slowing the trio down, but it was not quite enough. Still running as he used the things as shields, they became more and more squished and the wrecking-ball mode did not stop until he had torn down a roof-holding stud. The wood and grass roof collapsed on the building forcing it to lose its shape. As this was barely enough to even damage a common person this did nothing to Scelus, save that his glowing-hot arm set the dried grass used for water-insulation on fire. Stepping out of the miniature inferno he looked nothing but evil as he simply picked up one of the fire-enthralled undead and threw it on the newly created bonfire. Lighting up the nearby area quite well.
One left at a slight distance found Scelus' focus, using pent up magical energy he collected a large-ass fireball and sent it on the rotting corpse. As it flew past the buildings, its illumination following the fire it made a rather interesting scene right before it hit the zombie.
Built up methane gasses from rotting and the large fireball made the corpse explode and literally 'jump a little and spread itself over a larger area' .
"Oh, this feeling, this sensation!" it was far from the same as killing innocents, having their screams of pain and terror flavor the act, but it was a good ventilation for the demon's pent up energy.

Walking down the small road he had ended up in he found himself outside a very small hut (5x3m), one that were on the very outskirts of town, but inside there were a lot of eating sounds.
Kicking in the door Scelus found something he very much liked. A group of what looked like 3-5 undead, looking like ex-villagers feasting on one of their ex-friends.
Scelus just grinned wide still as he entered.

From afar, even if one were not to look at this small hut, one could easily hear the releasing of fire energy into an explosion. The whole hut toothpick'd all over, not a piece larger than a salad fork. Zombie guts and pieces flying all over; spreading itself over a rather large area.
In the midst of this fiery explosion, in the middle of all this fire very slowly burning down (not spreading to other houses) is Scelus, right arm glowing brightly and right eye glowing as well. He is having the best time in quite the while, and he is taking it for what it is worth!
 
Tysorai shuffled aside and stabbed downwards with his daggers, straight into the skull of a zombie. He twisted the knives and gunk squirted out of the head, narrowly missing Tysorai's face. The zombie crumpled as Tysorai removed his daggers. He couldn't help coughing; the stench of death and rot was unimaginably strong.

Once his coughs had subsided a bit, he whirled around and beheaded a zombie, quickly stabbing down into the brain. The zombie body went limp and fell at Tysorai's footpaws. "I didn't take us into any hell," Tysorai growled at Aaron. "So shut up and fight. The sooner we get out of here the sooner I can get my money and take a bath." Tysorai shuddered. He would never admit it, though it was painfully obvious, but he was a severe germophobe. He hated the gunk and slime and...ugh. Blood, a little gore; the little things didn't bother him. But slime and guts and rotting flesh? It made his skin crawl just thinking about what it might look like, and he didn't even want to imagine touching it.

Trying to keep his growing disgust in check, Tysorai said, "Go for the heads! Don't just chop them off, mutilate them! Burn them! Once the head has been wrecked they can't do anything!"

Tysorai stabbed another zombie and was about to go for another when he heard an explosion from the north. What now? he thought, impaling a zombie in the back of the head.
 
Now let's get a few things straight here.

Raz never was one for teleportation spells. They creeped her out. The idea of just whooshing from one spot to another automagically had some rather unsavory implications that she'd rather not contemplate. Nothing was that convenient without being insanely dangerous. She was all for taking risks, but calculated ones. It made her cringe just thinking about rushing over miles and miles of space at the speed of light.... only to go SPLAT! against a rock when the mage screwed up the landing.

Not to mention she hated flying. She'd been on an airship or two, when hired by a few royalty to protect their skinny asses while touring the countryside, and she hated it with a passion. It wasn't the height that made her distrust the ship beneath her feet. It was the technology and magic that got it there in the first place that she didn't trust.

Standing in front of the gusting, blowing, windy portal to another spot on the map gave Raz motion sickness just looking at it.

But she didn't let that show. No, she kept her expression utterly neutral and stepped through anyways. She stepped forward like she was going to kick someones ass and did not let any of her fear show.

Because she was a fuckin' badass.

There was that ever unpleasant wooshing sensation (god, what is it with mages and their freaking 'wooshing' tendancies? Therapy there, I tell ya....) and the feeling of being pulled in several directions at once--

And she stepped out into the Sturmhalten night, odoriferous, with a sprinkling of zombies.

It took her a second to get her bearings and she was only vaguely aware of Ryan turning to look at her, a strangely eager look on his face like a child wanting to see a parent's reaction to a prank.

The familiar blast of putrid, rotting things that still got up and started making lame-ass chanting hit her full in the face and her face screwed up in disgust.

"Fuckin' zombies," she snarled. "I can't believe this. I just washed my damn hair!" She drew her sword and, not in any kind of a hurry, lopped the head off a zombie that had shuffled too close. Then she glanced down at the putrid puddle she was standing in. "Great. I just got these boots and that smell will never come out! Can't you squishbags put a cork in it at least?" Waves of disgust and general dislike so strong that it was palpable, fairly emanated from her.

A sudden wash of flame rolled over her head and lightning zipped past her ear as Tali unleashed her spells in a panic. Raz jumped a country mile.

She whirled on Tali. "HOLY SHITFUCK, WATCH WHERE YOU TOSS THAT SHIT!" She breathed hard, waiting for her heart to return to a speed known to the Eisensteinian universe. As she did, she noticed that Tali looked a little.... panicked?

"What, you can't be afraid of these things?" She idly waved her sword at the shambling horde, inadvertently lopping off the arm of a zombie. It stumbled in circles and its groaning got marginally louder. "Oh no, they're shambling at us."

She rolled her eyes as she turned to face the horde. "By Athena, the worst thing they can do is stain your clothes or spurt juice all over y--"

At that moment, Tysorai, whirling around like a hyperactive ninja with those daggers of his, stabbed a zombie in the head and gave the short blades a savage twist. Juice spurted in an arc, barely missing him....

And landing squarely on Raz's still damp, newly washed hair, dripping down her face.

The waves of intense hatred and disgust coming off her found a new level of strength so great as to be almost radioactive.

Raz wiped some gray, reeking squishbag juice out of her eyes. The heat of a thousand nuclear bombs pulsed in her glare.

"Fuckin' zombies."

Raz went to work.
 
As Aedan stood there wondering if he would stay with the group after his fetch-quest, he heard something he did not want to hear. Being a paladin meant he has heard just about everything bad to hear, but there was one thing he had yet to hear:

"Brrrrrrrrrrrraaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssss"

He closed his eyes and prayed for a second, then opened them and looked at his sword. Great, now I've fucking heard everything.

He turned and saw Tali standing there, spells in both hands ready to go, and had a quick flashback to the ambush fight. Shaking the vision off before it started, he yelled and ran toward her. Aedan could tell that something was wrong with her, because she had a look of fear about her, and at a time like this, it was not a good thing. He quickly rushed over to her and attempted to comfort her the best he could.

"Hey now, let's not be all nervous and shit right now. I trust you (even though I hardly know you), but I also enjoy not being hit by rogue magic spells coming from an ally. Unless that's what you WANT to have happen."
 
“HOLY SHITFUCK, WATCH WHERE YOU TOSS THAT SHIT!” Raz had yelled at Tali for casting her spells. She hadn’t meant to aim so close to her… but she couldn’t help it. Yet in her panicked state, she could hardly adjust to anything. “Do not yell at me!”, was all Tali could manage to say as she fired two more fireballs at the heads of a couple more zombies. “What, you can’t be afraid of these things?” However, Tali was. She hated the undead, but when it came to zombies… they simply scared her. In the castle, she couldn’t make the monsters out. Even though they were undead… they weren’t zombies. One thing that Tali admired most was her mind. A monster that would want to take that away from her terrified her greatly.

“S-shut up! I-I am fine… I am,” Tali lied. “And I do not need you treating me like a child!” She took her staff out from behind her back and launched a few lightning bolts from the tip of it. Two more zombies fell dead because of it. “Hey now, let’s not be all nervous and shit right now. I trust you (even though I hardly know you), but I also enjoy not being hit by rogue magic spells coming from an ally. Unless that’s what you WANT to have happen.” Tali shot the paladin a rather cold glare. “My aim is fine! I know what I am doing!”

Normally, she would have been more cautious. However, now she only wanted to get out of this place. No one said anything about zombies. Why zombies? Out of all the things that could have been in this place at it had to be zombies! She just wanted to go home. No amount of money or glory was worth staring down a horde of monsters that wanted her brain. As she continued firing lightning bolts at their heads her panicked state only increased. At one point one had almost touched her before she was able to bash it upside the head with her staff.

As they all continued fighting she wondered where Berhu was. Luckily, he was smart enough not to eat their flesh. He more than likely had run away somewhere without her. Berhu was smart… and she wanted nothing more than to be out of this place.
 
"Whoa, whoa! Everyone calm the balls down!" Ryan shouted over the din, and with truly flawless affability a tentacle slithered out of his sleeve, snatched a stone from the ground and flung it with deadly precision. The projectile obliterated the head of a zombie shuffling closer.

"Calm down, they're just zombies! Run of the mill, shambling slow-pokes!" he scoffed. "And look, they aren't even oozing any funny-colored puss. They're necromantic, not plague-bearers. Even an untrained, underaged, over-excitable squire can bump one of these off! Be creeped out all you like, just don't panic. We just have to clear this shit out, no big deal!"

And as if to emphasize his point, Ryan looped Plato's leash around and leapt onto the ferret's back, making it squeak and fidget excitedly. "Have I got a doozy one for these, heheheh!"

He slung his guitar from his shoulder, flexed his neck and with a big, toothy grin he started playing a strangely appropriate, if somewhat retro song he'd learned while traveling with a necromancer a few years back.

And it happens to be this: Bad Voodoo

"Oh and...I CALL THE GRAVEYARD!!" he added excitedly and as he passed by, he grabbed Ty around the waist with a tentacle, lift him off the ground and sat him onto Plato, behind himself. "Come on, my germophobic pup, let's go splat some zombies! Haha, dance you silly shamblers, dance!" he cackled as the song had the expected effect.

Any zombie that heard it was suddenly overcome by the inexplicable urge to move even more erratically than before, distracted from their quest for brains. They'd still shamble and attack but they'd be a lot more sluggish, reluctant and even easier to dispatch.
 
Raz cut up a few squishbags with ease -- really, the hardest part fighting them was just putting enough muscle behind the blade to saw through the bones. But thanks to the (heinously) expensive enchantments she'd put on Thirst, that was little effort anyway.

"Alright Tali, you and I both hate 'em. Just focus on the that. You hate them more than you fear them right?" Raz shrugged, kicked a squishbag into a knot of others and whipped her sword out low, severing shins from legs. "Stick by me and I'll take down the ugly ones while you get the fast ones, sound good? Just mow them down."

Her teeth were bared in a feral grin. "And have fun." She winked one red-black eye at Tali then leapt into the fray, loosing a fearsome battle cry.

She slashed down at least two squishbags turned, kicked another so hard its head tumbled off and she grabbed one by an arm..... which came off in her hand. Raz snorted slightly in disgust, but used the abandoned limb to bludgeon the head off a few neighboring squishbags. Juice splattered.

"I... hate.... squishbags!" Raz growled, taking out a few squishbags with a kick, slash, and a vicious backhand that accidentally knocked a squishbag's eyes out.

Then Ryan started playing that crazy guitar of his.

Raz started bobbing her head in time with the beat, enjoying the hum of the music. When he broke out into the full melody, a grin was on her face as she whirled and sliced through the squishbags like she was dancing at a macabre ball.


"Oh and...I CALL THE GRAVEYARD!!"

There were suddenly much, much fewer zombies in the area. She hadn't realized the group had gone through them that fast.

"Not without me!" she shot back. "They got guts, we got glory. Let's go share!"
 
Ryan’s speech didn’t help at all. The zombies may have not been plague-bearers, but they still ate brains. They were still zombies… and they were still coming towards them with that hungry look in their eyes. Her heart was still beating in her throat after Ryan’s talk. He didn’t know how she felt about zombies; no one did. He could play it as easily as he liked. At the end of the day, Tali was still terrified. First he dragged her into a fight at a castle and now he had taken her to a place filled with zombies. She wanted to electrify him the first chance she got.

However, Raz did help… a little bit. She did hate zombies, but not more than she feared them. But something about Raz’s voice calmed her down; even if it was just a little bit. Even as she spoke she was still killing zombies as Tali stood there with lightning in one hand and a staff in the other. After she was finished, Tali fired off a few more shots albeit a bit more calmly than before. Ryan started playing his guitar and took off. Tali followed closely behind Raz, but made it a point not to get to close to her while she was swinging that sword of hers. With a slight sigh Tali muttered under her breath. “The faster we get this over with the better… I want to go home…”
 
(((FIRST POST: If it's shitty, sorry. I'll get better as it progresses:P. The humour is probably terrible, I tried though:D))


+So, like any other kind of Village worth zomblifying, Sturmhalten was a pretty big place. Two different side’s, you know??? Course, the party were currently fighting a “walking dead” brawl over one side- with shoddy undead nevertheless. But, on the other side… Shit was pretty quiet. Sure, one or two zombies were stumbling around, feeling both tired and having a serious munchies craving. They’d probably die for a juicy steak right now+

Zombie 1: GRRR, ARG NERRRRRGHHHHH (So, Johnny….How’s the kids doin’ in college??)

Zombie 2[Johnny]: ARRRRGHRH HERRRR GRRRR UHHHHHHHH (Oh, you know. Sandy’s doin’ some sort of conjuration course… Jimmy dropped out, tryin’ to be a professional Henchman now, like his mom…. So proud of dat Boy!!!)

Zombie 1: GRRRRRRRRR, ARGHHHHHH BRAIN’S!!!! MMMMMMMMM (Shit, here’s some Kid!! BRAINS!!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMM)
　
+And, in come’s the “Kid”- dressed completely wrong for the occasion. A T-shirt and gloves??? What the hell was he thinking??? Even the “kid” didn’t know. He’d come into town to resupply his shoddy bag with some provisions- before setting off in any random direction. What had drawn him to the obviously outbreak in the city??? Was it the toxic smell of…..<i>Hotdogs?!</i> since when were they made of rotting carrion of humans, and perhaps some animals? Still, he did have a serious case of the munchies. His ignorance was quite idiotic, as he nodded towards Johnny and his buddy [Who’s called Fred now, gave me his nametag earlier] in a semi-greeting way. He didn’t even notice the missing arm of Fred’s until…. GAHHHHHHH! +
　
+Freddy had shuffled over to Lucas at this point- the boy just judged the man had a limp- that is until Good ol’ Fred tried to take a chunk of his arm off! With a quick reaction, Lucas jumped back, flabbergasted by this new occurrence. +

“I’m only here 15 minutes, and ZOMBIE’S?! Goddamn Necromancers, what necrophilia obsessed weirdoes actually want to dead to come back, during “private time”?! Seriously, it contradicts everything!!”

+Lucas cried, pulling his blade from its sheath and, wielding it parallel to the ground, he hopped towards “Freddy” and- while the Zombie was still deciphering Lucas’s rant- his skull was bi-sected straight through, the squirting of blood covering Lucas’s blade in horrible, Zombie blood. Johnny was now in tears, Poor Freddy killed (again) in front of his eyes! He swore to avenge him and- DEAD! Johnny’s left eye socket was already pierced with the sword, as Lucas galloped towards him during his speech! +



“..Zombies. I hate them, so much….”


+with that, Lucas continued his stroll into the Village. His ignorance now dispelled, it was replaced by a slight streak of humour, Zombie ladies stumbling down stairs awkwardly, and Zombie Kid’s continuously walking into glass windows… Until, they actually noticed the guy. A comedic gulping sound later and Lucas was running through the town centre- a platoon of 20 or so Zombies following behind. +


“I FUCKING HATE YOU, MGPS! WHY THIS TOWN?!”
 
Tysorai crossed his daggers in a slashing motion, cleaving a zombie through the brain. He had only just straightened up when he felt a hand close around his collar and yank him off his footpaws. It took Tysorai a moment to figure out that he was flapping in the wind like a rag doll, being virtually dragged through the air by Ryan.

Tysorai spluttered a moment, giving Ryan enough time to say, "I CALL THE GRAVEYARD!" It didn't take long for some of the panic to set in. When he was in control, he generally had no problem with zombies. They were easy enough to kill, and in their current position, it was unlikely that they could have been overrun. But in a graveyard, the stereotypical origin of all zombie outbreaks...

Tysorai felt the shivers turn to quaking.

Tysorai yelled at Ryan as he flapped through the air. "RYAN YOU GODS-DAMNED IDIOT LET ME GO! I AM NOT GOING TO THE GRAVEYARD, DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM NOT!"
 
(( =D Welcome Meteora! That's a decent first post I'd wager, and I hope they do indeed improve as time goes. ^_^ Just enjoy yourself and whack some zombies! ))

Ryan grinned widely at Ty's protestations. "Aw don't be such a sourpuss, Ty! It'll be fun! See? Even Raz is coming along!" the incorrigible bard chuckled in response, the tentacle never letting go of Ty as Plato trainwrecked a zombie by tackling it and trampling it underpaw.

"Hey guys!" he called to the rest. "I suggest you head for the church in the town center! The tall belltower! Ask for Rachel and tell her I said hi! She'll help out!"

He then returned his attention to the reluctant lycanthrope. "Just relax, will you? If the source's at the graveyard, we take it out and we'll be done! Of course, if it isn't the graveyard after all, we're in a bit of a fix... But hey, that'll leave just the sewers and Hill Manor, maybe Barthus' Bakery, I always thought he used some funny shit in the garlic breads..." he mused, strumming his guitar all the while.

Eventually they neared the gilded iron gate of the once peaceful and proper graveyard. A cacophony of groans and wails came from it as zombies trudged over a section of broken iron fence, pouring out onto the path.

Ryan tugged at the reins of the giant ferret, bringing it to a stop. Plato planted his feet and arched his back, directing a shrill growl at the zombies as Ryan packed away his guitar for the moment.

"The important part of being a bard is presentation. And as a bard... you always go in through the front door. With a bang. Like this!"

Saying so, two large tentacles wrapped around his arms, melded into demonic-looking armor up to his shoulders just as he grabbed the base of a half-sized statue of Saint Humbert. He grunted a little and lifted it clean off its pedestal, then hoisted it overhead.

"Don't try this at home, kids!" he chuckled and with another grunt hurled the statue into the iron gate, crashing it open with a loud sound of grinding metal and cracking stone. The gate buckled inwards and swung open from busted hinges. All the noise got the zombies attention and they began shuffling over slowly.

"Haha, that'll do it!" Ryan cackled, drawing his longsword.

"What in Erebus' blazes was that!?" blurted a nasal, shrill voice coming from the church roof.

A tall, lanky figure dressed in dark, voluminous robes and exaggerated, enormous shoulder pads with spikes and bird-skulls stood on the roof tiles, holding a tall staff made of bones, about as pale as the bony arm that grasped it. Every inch the image of a classical undead lich, even down to the deeply worn hood that obscured the face completely, and the glowing yellow eyes seen in the darkness.

"What is this!? What're all these morons doing here!? I thought I'd cleared the place of all living except for the dipshits in the church and--" the lich exclaimed, palming his forehead, before taking better note of the trio of Raz, Ty and Ryan. "Oh. Shit."

The lich tapped the end of his staff on the roof tiles and with an obnoxiously loud bang a puff of smoke erupted in his position, eliciting a number of coughs from the wretched warlock before the smoke dissipated, and the lich had expectantly vanished.

"Well, that's interesting," Ryan said rather casually. "Anyone else get the impression he was a bit...green?"

Immediately he spun around gracefully to decapitate a zombie with a flick of the sword and skewered another's head on the tip of the blade. One of his tentacles shot from his shoulder's armor and snapped at a zombie like a whip, taking it's head right off with a loud crack. More zombies approached, groaning and growling, while the ground was alive with the noise of shuffling and shifting earth.

A grasping hand seized Ryan's ankle tightly.

"Oh, old trick. Not today," the bard replied casually, pulling his leg free with a strong yank, taking the hand off the arm with a loud crunch as he did. Then he dug his armor-clad hand into the ground near the flailing stub and with a bit of effort, 'uprooted' the zombie from its earthen ambush position, casually swung back his arm and then hurled it forward into a small wall of zombies closing in on him. The hurled zombie crashed into them with a loud, wet crunch and blew a gap in the zombies' advance.

"See!? Not that hard!" Ryan chuckled, twirling the sword in one hand.
 
It seemed like everyone got through safely and ended up in this hellhole of a mess, Aaron takes his sword out of another zombies skull and heard Ryan yell something to the group.

"I suggest you head for the church in the town center! The tall belltower! Ask for Rachel and tell her I said hi! She'll help out!"

"Right, Be Careful out there who knows how bad this'll get!!"

Aaron rejoined the group that didn't go with Ryan and Ty and took up the rear.

"Well lets get moving, I'm sure Tali doesn't like being out here from the look on her face."

He waits for the others to start moving and plans to keep guard on their backs so none of these lanky undead bastards can attack the weakened members of the group, He draws his sword once again once he see's more undead.

"Can't you freaks stay on the damn ground!!"

He had a annoyed expression on his face as he charged up his attack, the dark ball of energy quickly charged here for some reason, shruging at the fact he lets loose the energy ball from the tip of his sword and strikes the middle zombie the ball explodes into a large black dome engulfing the 3 undead into the void.

"Sheesh...If this keeps up I may have to call Sirocco..."He said with a worried look on his face.
 
Raz gave Tali a fierce grin before dashing off to follow Ryan, quickly adopting a long, loping stride that ate up the distance with her long legs and kept easy pace with Ryan and Plato. "Come on, Tals, don't fall behind!" she called over her shoulder. Every now and then she'd cut down a bumbling zombie as she ran by.

She stopped to catch her breath while Ryan started hurling statues at the gate. That man was pretty strong, for a bard. He seemed like a good brawler but it was a shame for all that strength to go untrained in a battle. Efficient use of strength could make one last forever in a fight, if done properly. She'd have to offer to give him a little training -- he'd certainly be devastating with the proper instruction, not that he was at all shabby as is.

She straightened, her breathing steady and ready to wreak havoc when Ryan finally busted down the gate.

One thin eyebrow raised as the lich (or is it warlock? Must ask Tali about that later) blathered his intentions in an obvious and trite manner. Then he vanished, choking on his own silly cloud of smoke.

"How suave, how graceful," Raz noted. "Green? No. Yellow perhaps. I think I saw a yellow streak on his belly, at the very least."

Wiping some more squisbag juice out of her face, Raz stepped into the graveyard, her red-black eyes not at all impeded by the gloom, thanks to the magical enhancements. But the others were not so gifted.

"Tali," she said, glancing back at the mage coming up behind her on Berhu, "It would seem the place is a tad bit dark. Maybe a little fire would brighten things up."

Then she turned to Aaron and Cerden, coming up behind them, and aimed her next sentence as them, making sure to include Ryan as well. "Hey! Last one to the church is a squisbag!"

The, laughing, she dashed into the graveyard, sword swinging. She made a quick zig-zag, zig-zag motion with her body, slashing the sword upwards at each sharp change in direction. The enhanced blade cut four zombies in half. Raz rolled under another squisbag, sprang to her feet, and whirled her blade about her head, slicing up four undead. She delivered a powerful kick to the chest of one, which shook an arm and a few fingers loose, and continued to slash away at the monsters.

Once she was clear, a ring of diced up squishbags lying on the ground around her, she started running again. She planted one foot on the top of a low gravestone, launched herself into the air and kicked the head off of one squishbag. For all her hate for the squishy undead, they were pretty fun to kill.

Besides, she felt good taking them out. It was a good way to let off some steam.
 
Tysorai wriggled around in Ryan's grasp, eventually slipping out and landing on the ground. He rolled to absorb some of the impact and came up with his daggers drawn. With a quick twist around, he gutted the head of a zombie and jumped towards where he heard Ryan. A quick stab downwards, he split a grasping hand in half and was rewarded with a squealing moan from his right. Stab, twist, another non-functional zombie.

Tysorai turned around and levelled his gore-covered dagger at Ryan's throat, snarling up into his face. "I swear to god, when we get out of this, you won't get a moment's peace. I'll see you...you...turned into a fucking squirrel!" Tysorai jumped behind Ryan and stabbed upwards with the dagger, getting a zombie up in the jaw and straight through the brain. The zombie collapsed with a sigh, and Tysorai cast his nose about for just one tuft of grass that was not ridden in slime, something for him to clean his blade off with. He didn't have a chance, though, as more zombies started to rise out of the graves.

"IF YOU'D STOP BLOODY WRITING THAT THEY'RE STILL COMING THEN THEY'LL STOP COMING!"

What Tysorai didn't realize, however, that when one bit the hand that fed it, things invariably would end up getting worse.

"OH COME ON!"

Not a score of yards away, the ground started to shake, and a massive tuft of dirt shot out of the ground.

"IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?"

A harsh grating sound like nails on a chalkboard squealed out of the hole, and out levered...

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

A fuzzy white bunny.

Tysorai stopped with his jaw hanging off its hinges, and he reflexively brained a zombie that strayed too close. He could smell the downy plush that was the bunny, and he bent down. Sight or no sight, the cuteness enthralled his every sense.

"Oh, what's a little rat like you doing in this?"

What Tysorai didn't realize was that...

"Realize nothing, it's an adorable little rabbit.

...insulting this rabbit, no matter how inadvertently, was a mistake. For this rabbit was, in fact...

"Just plain adorable."

...the dreaded Killer Rabbit of Sturmhallogh!

"Dreaded rabbit nothing, this is...AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Tysorai jumped back as the fluffy white bunny roared and leapt at him, its sharp teeth snapping shut where his scrotum hung under his trousers. Tysorai leapt aside, avoiding another snap. "Isn't this thing supposed to go for the THROAT?!" Tysorai swiped sideways with an open palm, smacking the rabbit aside as it lunged at his manhood again. "Get away from that! I need that, you know! Ryan, lend a tentacle over here, would you?" Tysorai caught hold of the rabbit as it lunged again, and he fell backwards, wrestling to and fro so that the rabbit would not part his nuts from his branch.

"What are you, Johnny Evilguy's pet rabbit or summat?"

And that, readers, is what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you.

"OH SHUT UP!"
 
(( ^_^ Jon's permission hath been given))

Ryan took Ty's threats with a surprisingly lackadaisical smile. "A squirrel. Sure Ty, whatever you say pooch. I think someone needs to lay off the booze in the morning."

With his back to Ty now, Ryan could really let loose with his sword, cutting down zombies and using the armor tentacles spawning from his arms to knock back those he couldn't cut, making sure he only faced a small number at a time.

"Woops, that one looks like a bruiser," he muttered, seeing a very tall and thick zombie make its way towards him, groaning in a deeper pitch than all the others. "Wait, I know this guy..."

The big zombie was missing a lower jaw and its tongue hung out awkwardly from the skull while the well-chewed upon arms swung in tandem with his step rather sluggishly.

"Oh Ty and you complain about your writer," Ryan muttered and sheathed his sword, quickly casting glances around for a more appropriate weapon. "Ah, this'll do. Oh the things I do for survival..."

The armor wrapped around his arms again and he seized a tombstone that read 'Here lies Ed Whatshisname. May we never forget. Killed by a falling turtle, if you believe the tales' and broke it off the already vacated grave it marked. He spun round himself once or twice, and at the end of his last rotation, Ryan let go of the tombstone, which went flying like a hammer and struck the big zombie with a resounding, wet crack. The porker was flung off his feet and into a few of the regular zombies with further sounds of crunching flesh and bone.

"Hey, I'm not bad at throwing stuff. Who knew!" Ryan scoffed. "Ah...Ty, what was that?" he continued, turning around.

The bard took a moment to take in the sight: A fully-grown werewolf rolling on the ground struggling with a ferocious white rabbit that snarled and slathered, looking very intent on parting the lycan from his jewels.

"There's something about you and rabbits today, isn't it?" he observed, watching the struggle for a moment. "Funny enough, I knew I was forgetting something. That rabbit comes around Sturmhalten every two or three years. The season's about right for it."

The bard thought he ought to help his friend from his plight--

"Not really, it's just a rabbit, he can manage."

No, he really ought to help him--

"I'll embarrass him. But oh alright. Since he asks so politely."

Ryan walked over and grinned at Ty. "Lend a tentacle, Ty? Are you sure about that? I haven't even taken you for a date yet, and that rabbit seems quite determined to have you. What will the people think?"

"JUST GET THIS BLOODY THING OFF ME, YOU BELLIGERENT BARD!"

"Oh alright, if you insist."

Ryan snuck up to the unlikely pair and with a few sneaky tentacles he snatched the rabbit, tearing it off the lycan with two of them. The others were just a distraction for the rabid leporid, although they did get awfully close to Ty's nether regions...

"Fear not Tysorai, your nads are safe from the raging bunny of doom. You will live to shag another day," Ryan chuckled, holding the growling and struggling rabbit away from himself gingerly. "Seriously, this happens every other year here. The last time I was here a couple of years ago it almost got me. Fortunately Rachel'd given me enough warning and I was wearing an armor cup, heh."

With that, Ryan walked the rabbit to the edge of the graveyard facing the forest, punting zombies out of his way with two tentacles before unceremoniously letting go of the rabbit. As the creature dropped to the ground he kicked it, sending it skyrocketing over the fence towards the forest in a fit of snarls and screeches.

"And that's pretty much how Rachel deals with it every time! I tell ya, you can learn a lot from that lass!" he chortled.

While biting the hand that feeds you is bad, dear readers, having a character that utterly disregards everything you write is almost worse...

"Please, people love my irreverence. Save the drama for another arc."
 
((xAaronx @Exocraet EveRYONEELSE!

WTF? Where did you go? Posting is mandatory! Fail to due so and I will get the monkeys.

Don't make me get the monkeys.))

"Ha!" Raz laughed at the rest of the group mockingly as she skipped the last few feet to the church door, skewering a squishbag or two as she went by. "I won!"

Grinning, flying high on pure adrenaline, Raz raised one foot to kick open the church door -- then thought better of it.

She knocked on it. "Pizza delivery. Open up before it gets cold, please," she intoned in a dry, bored voice.
 
((OOC: I'm praying like hell I won't have to re do my post due to the push to post XD))


The group was silent, as they traversed the dead screwn road with weapons drawn.

"I know this place is unsettling but you guys can TALK you know!" He said to Tali and the others following behind.

The group was getting closer to the Church in the distance.

"So far so good none of those freaks have ambushed us ye--..." As he was talking he tripped over a corpse and his sword accidentally chopped the corpses head off, the head rolls down the hill to the side hitting a bunch of garbage cans knocking them down and causing alot of noise.

".....Shit...." He spoke flinching at every crash the head caused, when it stopped the only thing that could be heard was moans and screams.

"Looks like we gotta make a run for it!! Get to the Church!!" He yelled before getting up and running ahead of the group in the direction of the church hoping the others wouldn't beat him to death once they were safe from the undead hordes.

((OOC2:I REALLY Hope I didn't overstep my position!))
 
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