Serious Should I ask him?

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ff1-10

Blue Mage
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I have this crush on someone who I work with. I do work study, he's basically on adult staff. Well...in January when I started working there, he introduced himself and after said hi once in a long while when he saw me. Then, for some reason, he just asked me to hang out on Valentine's Day. I WAS SO SHOCKED! I was like, HUH!? THIS guy!? HE NEVER EVEN TALKS TO ME! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU! Plus he's adult staff so I didn't know how old he was (but I found out he's either 22 or 23). So, I said no and I had work to do anyway...thought he would never ask again but then he did two weeks later while I was eating with a friend and he came around to say hello. My friend thought he was cute and cooed at him so I told her the story and she made me start thinking about him. Well, he asked that same night and because I just got interested in him and it came so unexpectedly, I said no. I was too shy! After that, he remained friendly and always said hi to me Sunday nights when I went to eat (we work at the dining hall) and there was this one night early last month that he was really excited to see me. Then...for a while now he hasn't said hi to me and just acts normal around me, though last Thursday my friends ran back to the hall because one of them knows him and encouraged me to bang on the window while he was cleaning to wave hello. The other friend told me that when we left, she looked back to see if he would look back and she said that he did, and at me, smiling. But my friend who knows him made him dance a little, so what if he just smiled at us in general? Cuz he always looks tired from work, so maybe we made him smile a bit. SO I'M CONFUSED!!!! PLUS HE ALWAYS APPEARED NORMAL!!!! ...Just that this time, it feels different, like he gave up, maybe. But what about that Thursday!?

He seems really nice and I can't get him off of my mind! I prefer a guy to ask me and I've been thinking that if he really likes me, he'll ask me again but we end the year next week and nothing so far from him! Should *I* ask *him* to hang out!? Also, I told him "Maybe next time" the 2nd time to drop a hint that he should ask again, but do u think he thinks I was just trying to be nice but was just really saying no completely!? Or is he waiting for me? UGH! HELP!

EDIT: Also, I was told he's kind of shy...BUT DOES THAT REALLY MEAN ANYTHING!? HE'S ASKED *TWICE* BEFORE AND DANCES IN FRONT OF ME!!!! But, yes, he does have a reserved and bit of a shy/quiet persona, but very friendly with people.
 
What are you confused about? The guy had the balls to ask you out twice and you rejected him both times, of course he's going to lose interest. Saying maybe next time as a hint to ask a third time, he'll ask you out again if he REALLY likes you right? Uh no, the message he's probably getting is that you're not interested in him. You ever thought about what his feelings are after these 'tests'?

Honestly, girls like you are so annoying. Want the guy to make all the moves and wonder why nothing ever happens when you refuse. Over analysing mundane situations afterwards hoping it means something. Why did he smile at you? Probably because he's a nice fucking guy???????

My advice? Get off this Finaru Fintaru Forumu and ask him out for God's sake. Stop playing games with him. I'll be honest, you might get rejected because me might have moved on seeing as you didn't seem interested in him, he probably liked you a lot to come over when you were with your friends, but you have to take that risk now.
Also, it will boost your confidence because once you ask someone out and put yourself out there, it's easier to do it again and your confidence grows even if the outcome isn't what you want. Plus, confidence is really attractive!

If you let shyness get the better of you, you will miss out on a lot. Trust me.
 
Lol you rejected him twice but you're into him... I don't even.

You have to ask him out now because he's probably not going to do it again. We're in 2013 now, it's fine for women to ask men out.
There really isn't anything to lose.
 
I would ask him out if I were you too. :) You've rejected him twice! He may not ask you out again a) because he fears being rejected or b) because he doesn't want to put pressure on you. :hmmm:

He's taken two risks for you! If you think he is worth it, show him and take a risk too! =)
 
Ah...you're all right. It's just that the first time I did not know him at all, only by face. He would come around once in a long while and say hello when he saw me. And he was adult staff, so I wasn't sure how "old" he was. Then he whips out of nowhere on Valentine's Day and expects me to feel comfortable hanging out with him. I know he wouldn't know that I'm the type that you have to talk to a little before getting me to feel comfortable with something like that, but he should have at least talked to me a little more than that to show friendliness. That's what guys who liked me did, so when he came out of nowhere, I was shocked because I didn't even know him; I never noticed him! Only when he said hi to me.

And the second time, my friend just got me interested in him after he came around to say hello and somehow it just so happened that right after that, he asked me again, so it shocked me, too, and out of nervousness, I said no. I guess the "next time" was more like a step back for me so that I could feel more comfortable and say yes because I had just started processing him as my interest. I also feared boring him because I'm a shy and quiet person, and I think I've been taught too many wrong things about guys in order to initiate interest.

I do want to ask - but it may be too late...I guess I won't know until I risk it. :(
 
What's the worst that could happen? He says no. If that happens, you keep yer chin up and move on, knowing you took the courage to ask. On the other hand, asking him could lead to one of the best things that could happen. I don't see any negative to you asking him out.
 
Let me be analytical about the situation right quick. It doesn't sound like you know enough about him yet. It's fine that you said no those two times to be honest. I mean yes it was brave of him to ask on Valentines day and sometimes sporadic is good, though unfortunately it doesn't sound like you are willing to commit until you know more about the guy. It's not just you, I've definitely been with a girl or two who had to "feel" me out, due to we "just" met.

Here's an idea though. How about don't ask him to hang out with you, but with you and some friends. If he says no, then I don't think he's worth your time. The reason being is.. if the guy liked you enough for you, he would want to hang out despite being around your friends. The shady ones are the ones that just want you by their lonesome and I doubt can be trusted so soon. Also the guy might have some baggage. If he starts talking about himself all the time in a "whimpering" manner, it might suggest he's not ready for a relationship, because he'll just dump on you, even when you had a bad day.

I don't have enough information at this time to disseminate if he's going to be a good guy or someone just looking to get with you. Although it's 2013, there are still some shady folks out there. I know your friend gave you a little more confidence about the guy, but I would suggest not "dating" or hanging with him until you feel him out a bit. If you had a different psych profile I would tell you otherwise, to take a chance, but I doubt that's what you want to do right now.
 
I was thinking it's because we work all the time that he wanted to be with me alone to hang out. And the fact that he's adult staff, he is always stir frying stuff for the students. He's young, though, from what I've been told, like 22 or 23. We don't work in the same part of the dining hall. That Thursday I waved would have been perfect to do a friend hang out, since one of them met him at one of the school's events. She actually suggested for all of us to hang out together and that she'll do a lot of the talking while he may get to ask me some stuff, but I was too shy so I turned the offer down. So instead, we just both waved from the window and she even made him dance a little by dancing herself. I was surprised. Also, if you liked someone, wouldn't you not to do something silly like that in front of them? Because I know me and a lot of other people are like that. And I didn't say no outright, but that I had to study and "maybe next time".
 
Its a typical guy trick. If they reject you more then once just ignore them and if they feel the same way well... theyll wind up feeling how you feel or doing what youre doing. So yeah ask him out hes probably expecting it. But even if not whats the worst that could happen? He says no and life goes on and you find another person you have an interest in.
 
My friends who I told did a surprise attack on him...and on me! Because they did not tell me they did it! I just found out. This past Thursday one of them went up to him and told him that I'm interested in him and that he should ask me again. They said he started turning around all awkward not looking at her and that he turned really red, smiling. He told her, "This is really surprising to me. Thank you for telling me." But that was the night he acted like he didn't know me or like me...she said you could tell he's one of those really nervous people and that her telling him probably shocked him too much to ask me that night. I was so shocked...I've been thinking that he lost interest or something. :O Well...he didn't actually say, "I will!" or, "I like her too!" UGH! Risks, risks, risks...
 
You need to cop on and get over yourself, if you like him then ask him that's it. If you can't be bothered to tell him you like him yourself then he is probably better off without you and your pals messing him around. He was spurned by you twice and he was apparently already a shy person, so it's not surprising he is keeping his distance. Either speak to him yourself or move on, for everyone's sake.
 
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