Stupidest Weapon

I have two candidates for the stupidest weapon in the FF series. One of which... You're going to... Not like. :hmmm:

1) Blitzball: Seriously? A fucking ball? Used by the dumbest character in the series to date, it's capable of doing some epic massive damage. :ffs:

2) Gunblade: Stupidest weapon concept of ALL FUCKING TIME. Look at the grip on this motherfucker. One hit with that and the user SHOULDN'T HAVE A WRIST LEFT. The functionality of this shit storm is practically zero. Then they brought it back in FFXIII (yet another shit FF game). Running low on ideas, eh Square?
 
Firstly, there's that parasol that Zack was using against the Genesis copies in Crisis Core. Now, I don't mind a little bit of hilarity in that game once in a while, but how on earth can a parasol inflict a damage output equivalent to the Buster Sword? Even that optional mission has Zack slaying a whole Behemoth with a parasol.

Secondly - Vanille's fishing rod like weapons. Seriously? Fishing rods? Actual wires dealing damage by hooking onto enemies and doing a bit of pulling? What were they hoping that Vanille catch and kill? A giant flying fish? Why couldn't they just give her a sensible staff to use?

Thirdly - Filo's hoverboard things in Revenant Wings? Due to the sprite nature of the game in battles, I'm struggling to work out how exactly they work. I know they allow Filo to fly, but how do they actually cause damage? Ram into the enemy? They're just flying skateboards.

Also, Cid's mop in FFVII had me going "what?" as well. I was like - a mop? How practical is a mop in battle? Won't it be chopped in half easily? And I always found Red XIII's headdress things and Cait Sith's megaphones to be a bit odd as well.

Oh yes, I nearly forgot Lulu's dolls and Wakka's Blitzball. How on earth those things can be damaging whatsoever in a battle is beyond me. Those balls are lethal. A few have spikes and razor blades! How does Wakka use them without being decapitated or get his hands pierced?
 
i think you all forgot about quina and her god dam FORK!! I mean i know you have a deep, and i mean deep love for food but really. I haven't been stabbed with a fork yet, but im assuming it wouldnt deal 3000 dmg to me. but thats just me
 
Have we all forgotten FFTactics? We had people using carpet, CARPET, to attack. They unroll it and it smacks you from two squares away. Then theres the dictionaries. It would be one thing if they were spell books but no theyre dictionaries. You open them, turn a page and then whatever get hit with a gong-like noise which deals damage. Really? And what about the scholar class from FFIII? They used books as well, except they just walked up and smacked you with them.

And then we have Eiko's flutes. granted it was cool seeing her play a tune to cast magic but when she attacks, what the hell is she doing? She runs, jumps and idk... The only thing i can think of for that is that she beats them over the head with a WOODEN FLUTE.

I'd also like to take the time to talk about Edea and her ability to bitchslap you from about 5 yards away. Really? Look at Edea. She looks like a bloody pimp and she has the pimpslap to keep her men (Seifer) in line. As for Squall...whats so wrong about the Gunblade? Its perfect. Best weapon Ive seen so far.
 
LuLu's Moogles. I never understand how the Moogle you get from the Hunter Guy was supposed to catch Enemies. I thought it was pretty useless in fact in terms of catching animals for the monster Arena
 
Personally, I HATED Vincent's ultimate weapon, the Death Penalty. I refused to spend hours on end powering up that weapon. I end up doing one of two things: attaching Added Effect with Death, and/or just using another weapon.
 
Barrets Arm thing

NOT his gun-arm

But I can remember him having another weapon that was not a gun.........It was just basically a piece of JUNK attached to his hand..........which he runs towards the enemey and hits them over the head.:kelly:
 
I actually liked the gunblades. Lightning's was better than Squall's though, IMO. Lightning's actually could change from a sword to a gun...Squall's didn't ever shoot anything. Squalls trigger just caused the explosion which caused the blade to vibrate, doing more damage.

Now, as far as the STUPIDEST weapons...

Measures
Harps and other Instruments (dumb as an attacking weapon...at least Edwards harps let him sing different songs)
Books (In FFIII for the DS, you beat the enemies with them :confused:
Excalipur/Excalipoor (I can't believe nobody has said this yet...)
 
As Spoony One said:

Wakka's voleyball that turns people to stone.

Red XIII's head ornaments.
 
I gotta say Red's Hairpins. Srsly, what is a lion-dog bastardization on evolution doing with a hairpin? Granted he would use his claws and teeth to attack which you can't quite... equip but ffs give him something practical, not a hair accessory. :ffs:
 
The Blood Sword in FF2. I hate weapons that absolutely kill the balance in an RPG, and this sword certainly fits the bill. It's capable of killing the final boss in 3 attacks without any buffs, and anything you manage to fight before that certainly isn't going to last long. No fun killing any and all challenge in the game.
 
Robbiedbee said:
Wakka's weapons from FFX are horrible. There is no reason why it would always come back after throwing it at an enemy. It looks particularly horrid when you fight Sin's fin early in the game.
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agreed...i dont get much how those weapons work, i find it weird
 
The stupidest weapon for me is Wakka's weapon as mention before. I find it weird to see a ball kill monsters like nothing.
 
Gotta be Vanille's weird fishing hook...thing. I've never even played XIII, but it looks and sounds utterly ridiculous.
Other special mentions are Cait Sith's megaphones, Red XIII's hairpins, Garnet and Eiko's rackets, Setzer's cards, and Lulu's dolls.
 
Definitely Cait Sith's megaphones. What purpose do they serve anyway? And why do they have to come in different colors? :| Cait Sith can just deliver a punch and have the enemy KO'd.
 
Let's watch the one liners and spammier posts in this thread, please. :)
 
\O/ A fellow Troper! *highfives the OP*

For me, it'd have to be Wakka's BALL! OH my GOD! What in the hell were they THINKING!?

Also, Lulu's MOGGLE DOLL. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Vanille's high-tension wire majigger is also pretty darn bad. Oh, and a sword? Made out of WATER?

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