Original *tears*

[nukka-chan]

hey... though i am not a writer or anything but here is ma super short story...


it was dark ... where am i...? at the end of the line ?
but...there is no Q ... and if so ...what happend to those behind me...?
am i the last one here?
and what happend to those in the front?
(i raised my head and smiled ) oh yeah they passed me ...years ago... what is that ? light?
no ...going there means they will see me
irushed in .... stayed inside the shadow..my senctuary
i cried...even if tears didnt drop..
then a saw a weirdly glowing butterfly...
it simply cought my eyes with it silver blue color
i followed it...
it drove me in a dark place with blue air that felt like the morning breeze
and then i saw mare than a thosend of them
i raised my hand ..."take me with you"
my wings appeared...
i flew for about a secound
then i fell.....
then i realized...i couldn`t follow anyone...not with my torn wings
i know the painfull truth ...that i will always be here
in the shadow...of myself​

 

[Leonheartas]

Sorry Nukka Chan,

I understand that you're on your psp (which is not the ideal place to write may I add) but this is terrible to read, the punctuation is out of place, capital letters left out etc. Spell check before you post maybe?

Anyway, the story was more just a set of questions, however these can be used to build suspense. I would suggest structuring it correctly, putting a tad bit more effect in the spelling front and then making it a little more understandable.

Good luck,
Tom.

 

[lyralamora]

Agreed! The story is interesting, but I find it difficult to read because of the spelling mistakes.

 

[nukka-chan]

ok ...i fixed it X)