Telemarketers

[Icarus]

I had fun with one that actually slipped through.
Tele: Hi!
Me: Allo? Allo?
Tele: Sir?
Me: *in Taliban accent* You must have de wrong numba. Goodby. *click*

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

Best one I had was one trying to sell me a cruise trip.
The first thing I heard when I picked up the phone was a foghorn...it was actually that good I kept the conversation going until I heard it again. Then I got bored and hung up.

99.9/100 I'll put the phone straight down though, we seem to be having a 'free British survey' for something at the moment and they keep ringing.

 

[Sephiroth Crescent]

So we all know and hate it when they call and have something to sell you or ask you of that you neither care for nor want. So, how do you deal with them? Do you hang up on them, say some nasty things to them, pretend to be interested and then flatly decline them or what?

I've recently experimented on them by speaking to them in foreign languages.

It usually starts like this:

Me: Hallo.
Telemarketer: Hello, [insert typical introductory nonsense about some product or survey].
Me: Was? Wir ist das?
Telemarketer: I'm sorry?
Me: Ich verstande nicht.
Telemarketer: what?
Me: Ich verstande nicht. Im Deutsche sprachen bitte.
Telemarketer: Oh, okay. Have a good day. (they hang up)

Sometimes, they might ask if there's someone in the house who speaks English, or repeat what they say and finally get that you don't speak English. I once had a guy say he wasn't trying to sell me something after he didn't get what I said, but it turned out he was. And another time, this lady repeated the "Deutsche" part because she didn't know what I was saying, and so I repeated "Deutsche", and she asked if I spoke English, so I said "Was ist Englische?" And then at that point, she simply said good-bye and hung up. I admit I had a good laugh. Of course, if someone there happens to speak German, I could always switch to Latin or Chinese, particularly the former, considering the only people that speak in Latin now would be those in the Vatican.

Your stories?

(Feel free to correct my German grammar. I doubt they would have known the difference anyways.)

Whenever a telemarketer calls, and me or Socrates(me bro) happens to answer the phone. We just speak spanish. One time the tele-marketer spoke spanish, so I pretended I spoke portuguese, and tried to deceive the person into thinking the first caller thought it was spanish. It almost didn't work lol. It Looked like this.

Me: Allo
Caller: Hi blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Me: Perdon no hablo ingles
Caller: Oh ok, ill transfer you over to someone who does
Me: <thinks to self> <insert bad word here>
Caller: Hola, deberias comprar esto porque...blah blah blah blah blah
Me: <thought ahead and went to freetranslations.com> Pesaroso vesti falo espanhol, eu sou de Brasil
Caller: Perdon me voy ciao.

I tried not to laugh when I spoke, but thats the only time I've encountered issues with a telemarketer, Portuguese and Spanish are indeed similiar, and If I spoke to somebody who was Brazilian I could probably understand some of what he/she is saying, but forget the written part.

- Kuja

 

[Socrates]

Whenever a telemarketer calls, and me or Socrates(me bro) happens to answer the phone. We just speak spanish. One time the tele-marketer spoke spanish, so I pretended I spoke portuguese, and tried to deceive the person into thinking the first caller thought it was spanish. It almost didn't work lol. It Looked like this.

Me: Allo
Caller: Hi blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Me: Perdon no hablo ingles
Caller: Oh ok, ill transfer you over to someone who does
Me: <thinks to self> <insert bad word here>
Caller: Hola, deberias comprar esto porque...blah blah blah blah blah
Me: <thought ahead and went to freetranslations.com> Pesaroso vesti falo espanhol, eu sou de Brasil
Caller: Perdon me voy ciao.

I tried not to laugh when I spoke, but thats the only time I've encountered issues with a telemarketer, Portuguese and Spanish are indeed similiar, and If I spoke to somebody who was Brazilian I could probably understand some of what he/she is saying, but forget the written part.

- Kuja

Haha I remember that!!

Don't forget that time when that cosmetics lady called !

The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello
Caller: Hello Miss, are you tired of <insert long 5 minute boring statement>
Me: Im a guy...
Caller: Oh thats ok, "some" guys also use this special cream
Me: Im not one of those "guys"
Caller: Are you sure?
Me: *hangs up*

Wow...I hope she never calls back.

~ Socrates the Great

 

[Sephiroth Crescent]

Haha I remember that!!

Don't forget that time when that cosmetics lady called !

The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello
Caller: Hello Miss, are you tired of <insert long 5 minute boring statement>
Me: Im a guy...
Caller: Oh thats ok, "some" guys also use this special cream
Me: Im not one of those "guys"
Caller: Are you sure?
Me: *hangs up*

Wow...I hope she never calls back.

~ Socrates the Great

Lmfao how could I forget! XD

Man they dont call anymore, I wish they did so we could mess with them.

- Kuja