The Age Gap

My dad is 4 years older than my mom. They met almost 17 years ago, and even through all the bullshit they've had to put up with whether it be because of themselves or some outside family, they've stuck together. I fully believe that they really do love each other. Or they would have really left one of the many times they have threatened to. My dad used to walk out on us, yet he's always come back. They have been together through every happiness and sadness there can possibly be. Yes, the age gap was once a problem. I find it very stupid and unneeded. Like you guys have said, as long as it's not anything pedo, what's wrong with it? So what if X is 19 and Y and 26? If they love each other that's all that matters.
 
I think as long as both parties are of legal age and love one another, the age disparity shouldn't be an issue to anyone else if it isn't an issue to the couple themselves. I do think it is important to be mindful of the age disparity though, and remember that the other party is probably at a different stage of their life/personal evolution and aren't necessarily into the same things you are. If you are 40 and you are dating someone who is 20, your priorities are probably very different. A 40 year old shouldn't expect a 20 year old to be as mature as they are, and a 20 year old shouldn't forsake all the things a 20 year likes doing to please a 40 year old. We are only young once and shouldn't be in a hurry to grow up and get old. That'll happen automatically anyway.
 
Personally i've never dated anyone 2 years older/younger than myself so i've not had any similar experiences but that's not to say that I wouldn't consider ever gettign with anyone significantly older. I think the problems lie where people of such a vast differing age tend to have different expectations of the relationship and often different maturity levels and interests, not to mention future plans. Older people (sorry) tend to be more likely settled in employment whereas younger people often look to better their prospects through education or training; often away from home.

I think it becomes less relevant as you get older. My mums partner is like 15 years older and no-one would bat an eyelid at that, but were I to date someone who is 36 i'm sure i'd get some snide comments or intervention attempts.

Ultimately it boils down to; is it safe (Legal and no-one being taken advantage of) and are they happy? If yes then fuck it, who cares? I don't personally know anyone in this situation but can't imagine there'd be much of a problem in my friendship circle. It's just ammunition for banter amongst lads anyway.

What I can say is; try and understand a parents point of view. With all this paranoia in the media about paedos and manipulative people then a significant age gap can set the alarm bells ringing for parents when it comes to their little angel. Especially as things may have been different when they were themselves growing up so the thought may have never crossed their minds.
 
It's been said before, but I think it depends on the people and their maturity. I'm actually currently involved with somebody 4.5 years younger than me, me being 20, and his 16th birthday just around the corner. When I think about it or it's mentioned, it really feels a bit weird, especially because it doesn't feel that way with me. To me, my boyfriend is very mature, he's interesting and kind and a billion other things. When we're together, it feels like we're the same age.

Obviously, there are some issues that we've run into (not including his VERY anti-gay family) that we work around, but it's been a year and a half and we're still close as ever. And for somebody who might complain about it, it is not illegal, and things that would be considered illegal are things we stay away from until it's appropriate (that time being after his birthday).
 
(i just read in urban dictionary about the age rule which is half your age plus 7 ??? def no basis for that tho)

Kerrigan said:
TOO old or TOO young is exactly when you FEEL it's too old or young.
Click to expand...

^ nailed it tbh.

if it's going to be at the back of your head, nagging you, then maybe it's a personal thing--that's something you have to resolve. it might eventually become a serious issue between you and your boyfriend, so if your relationship is turning into something serious, it has to be addressed asap. age only matters to the point where you believe it matters. =)
 
Age doesn't really matter to me at this point, especially when on three occasions I've been in some large gaps. The biggest being 10 years, with me being the older.
 
I would be willing to go a 15 year age gap. But then again ive fooled around a bit with some people barely over that age gap (dont judge)...its completely different tho when a man gets a woman who is barely a woman then when a woman loves a much younger man. It just doesnt suggest its an emotional connection over a physical. And when women do, it takes some strong consideration to date a younger guy and hesitation.

Im not saying its true that all men like these girls for their bodies or not all women think twice before getting a younger guy. Im just saying how it looks.

I dated a 39 year old man back when I was 19 (now that I think about it, if I stuck with him for 1 year, he would've been twice my age) We eventually broke it off because how people (and his son) saw it all. Plus, who were we kidding, the more we dated the closer it got to a father/daughter relationship considering all we did was hold hands, kiss, and go out...it feels really weird revealing this..but whatever...its in the past.

Now I date guys/girls (mostly guys) in the 5 to 10 year age gap because I want to be with someone who I can spend most of my life with and vice versa.
 
I couldn't go out with someone eighteen years older or younger than me. The youngest I've dated has been three years younger than me, and my fiancée is just over a year older than me. I like sticking to someone at a closer age to me.

I mean... my dad is nineteen years older than me, and I find the idea of dating someone from his generation just extremely weird. And there's also the reasons others have posted.
 
My girlfriend is six and a half years younger than me. She was 18 when we got together and I was 24. Honestly, if she was your average 18 year old, it wouldn't have worked out, but she really doesn't have the same values of someone her age. We were lucky, neither her parents or my parents made any mention of the age gap. Neither did any of her friends for that matter, but one or two of mine did.

There really is no set rule; it's down to the individuals. You have to be honest to yourselves and to eachother. As others have mentioned, if interests clash, and if both parties are at completely different stages of their personal growth, there can also be a problem. It's always a danger making the younger person grow up too fast, I'd hate to be that guy. But with my and my girlfriend, we both like to read, watch films, and play games. We both still lived with our parents, but were looking to move. We both had just finished education and were on to our first "proper" jobs (albeit I went to University first).

Another thing I'll add is that it's unwise to blindly ignore advice from your friends/family if they tell you something they don't want to hear. They love you, and they want what is best for you. Even if you choose to go against their (initial) wishes, if the relationship is meant to be they will see it too, even if all it takes is time.
 
I don't think you should let other people have any say in what is right for you...

I'm sure you've already considered the scenarios that may occur with an age gap. Look at those scenarios and concerns and eliminate all of the ones that involve people who are: a) not you, and b) not him. Does anything else really matter?
 
To be honest i don't see age as being that big of a deal, if you both love eachother and are really happy with the situation then i say go for it! i usually wont date someone more than 4 years older or younger than me (being 24 at the moment) just because i like to hang around with peers so naturally to me someone to date would be about the same. However that's just my preference, aslong as it isnt a kid and a grown up i say do what you want <3 hopefully it all works out for the best! :)
 
I'm only 21, and my partner is about to turn 32 in a few days, we've never had any problems with it. In fact, I tried to date people my own age, and it never really worked out because they didn't want the same things as me. I wanted a stable life, with someone to come to home to, and less drama. There are advantages and disadvantages to dating someone older, you just have to decide if you really care about that person, and if they're making your life a better place. For me, he is.

Age isn't just a number, but there's no rule that says that you can't be with someone just because they're older than you. The only advice I would give is to be ready to be prejudged by family and friends as being a gold digger or such, because when you're the younger one that usually happens fairly often. Other than that, go for it.
 
It used to be that when a girl started their period, they could legally be betrothed. This was something that stayed around from the ancient Levites circa 1500BC all the way to the 18th century AD.
It's only in the past couple hundred years that 'age gaps' and legal foundations for sex have come about. It's all part of this world's rising 'new morality'.

In fact, even today the Church holds marriage acceptable at an age of 14. There are many countries in the Church's dealings in which that is perfectly acceptable, and many of those countries are as peaceful and loving as can be.
It just goes to show the irony of 1st world laws- it's not really because it's wrong, but because their societies are inept to be able to handle such things.

So, don't let somebody worry you about the age of the person you are dating. On the grand scale of things, it's really just rank prejudice.
 
My parents were six years apart :mokken:

My significant other & I are about 4 years apart. (he's older)

I don't see the problem in an age gap at all.

As long as, lets say,

different generations gap... if that makes sense :hmmm:

I'm not judging at all, I'm just stating my opinion.

It has to be within a certain range, otherwise.. idunno man.
seems just a tad shady
buuuuuuuuuut,

anything's possible. :monster:

I like older men anyways. :kinky: :wacky:

More mature. :mokken:
 
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I personally don't see any issues with dating somebody older or younger than me. As long as she is over 18 and is legal, that is all that matters. For me anyways. I have some friends that would never date an older woman. I personally dont care. If you connect and mesh together, why not date? After all, your age is just a number anyways. (again, as long as they're over 18 and legal)

 
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