Poetry The monster who stole everything, and the guy who did nothing

[Sexy Beast]

Who could have seen this coming,
A monster unleashed on me ,
And I could do nothing.

It was gnawing on my soul,
It tore open my heart,
And I could do nothing.

The monster was unleashed on my family,
It tore them open,
And I could do nothing.

It took them by surprise,
It made them believe that everything was a lie.
This enabled me to do nothing.

This monster is you,
Our love withered away,
And you did nothing.​

 

[nomad]

Could've seen.

I could share a lot of little criticisms about this poem (grammar, repetition (aside, of course, from the main repetition, which is good), word choice, meaning) if you are interested in perfecting it. Let me know. Otherwise, it's not too bad.

There are some classic poetic forms that feature repetition similar to the way you used it. Check out the Villanelle and the Rondeau, for example.