Serious The "Perfect" Break up

[AddleBoy]

I've been saying this for months now, but I want to break up with my girlfriend. In all honesty, we aren't all that close, and we haven't ever been, really. Summer vacation started about two months ago and we both went back home. We haven't any contact at all since then. I texted her a couple of times, but she never responded. We don't even live that far away from each other; there's only about a 45 minute drive from my house to hers. I just don't care for this relationship anymore. What I came here to ask was if it would be better to break up with her over the phone or in person?

If I were to break up with her in person, it would just make things really awkward. I mean, if I do break up with her in person, would it be better to just go see her, break up with her and leave or should I take her out somewhere first?

I'd prefer not breaking up with her over the phone, but it seems like the most convenient way.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Definitely in person. Nothing over the phone leads to satisfactory on your or her part. Sure, the notion of break-up by phone seems like the easiest way, but if you want to break up with her without any ramifications for you(and her) in the future, then break-up in person seems the most plausible.

Choose your words right, and there should a lesser amount of tears
/ishopingheisright

 

[Kei]

In person of course, just call her out, and make sure you tell her, there's something you need to talk about and then break up to your heart content.

Not expecting she will shed tears or anything more like agree to the decision, from what you said:

We haven't any contact at all since then. I texted her a couple of times, but she never responded.

She doesn't seem interested in the relationship either.

 

[Linnaete]

The distinct lack of contact definitely does sound like there could be a mutual lack of interest in this relationship from the pair of you. My advice is to personally go see her and have an honest heart-to-heart talk with her. Tell her why you really want to see her, rather than asking her out only to drop this bombshell. If the pair of you agree that this isn't working out too well, then you should let this come to a closure. I acknowledge that doing it over the phone or by text would be more convenient and a lot easier, but to go to the length to meet her up in person usually spells a far clearer message to her that you valued and cherished this relationship, whereas over the phone it could come across as being a little unkind or even cowardice.

 

[Coco]

Normally, I'd say breaking up over the phone is a complete no-no. But given your situation:

We haven't any contact at all since then. I texted her a couple of times, but she never responded.

If I'm correct in assuming that she feels the same as you, then this break up is only for formality's sake. It doesn't seem like there's a relationship at all anymore. If you don't want to make the trip just to formally break up with her, then I'd say go for the call. I don't see anything wrong with it if it'll save both you and her the trouble of meeting up, talking about it, closure, and so on. It's totally up to you, though.

 

[Six]

As many have said, go see her in person. Yes, of course things will be awkward, but breaking up over the phone, no matter how the relationship looks, is something I definitely wouldn't recommend. I don't have any experience with it, but... Telling someone in person, even if they are the ones not responding back to text messages, just proves you have the heart at the right place.

It will be a satisfying feeling if you know you did the right thing, specially seeing you loved that girl at one point.

I wish you the best of luck, Addle. I'd honestly just call her up, tell her you need to talk to her, and make a set time together.

 

[Rapture]

Normally, I'd say breaking up over the phone is a complete no-no. But given your situation:



If I'm correct in assuming that she feels the same as you, then this break up is only for formality's sake. It doesn't seem like there's a relationship at all anymore. If you don't want to make the trip just to formally break up with her, then I'd say go for the call. I don't see anything wrong with it if it'll save both you and her the trouble of meeting up, talking about it, closure, and so on. It's totally up to you, though.

I'm going to agree with Coco.

I would do it over the phone, since in your situation it seems appropriate since it seems like the relationship is for the most part non-existent anyways. Why go out of your way to be personal about breaking up when you were never personal when you two were "together"?

 

[Bambi]

im seconding coco, the lack of interest is clearly mutual, whats the point in going out of the way to confirm what has already seemed to have happened naturally?

Something along the lines of, i think we can both agree that we've run our course, do you wanna meet to talk about it or just draw a line under it or whatever seems reasonable enough to me

 

[saajuk]

I say go meet her in person so you can see her reaction (if you got the balls). She might think your really cool for driving all the way there to her house to tell her rather then hide behind a phone call.

Ur choice though.

 

[Yaoi Master Gavin]

In answer to the question, it depends on who she is. When I broke up with my ex, I simply sent him a text and ignored everything from him. Why? Because I expected him to go into a rage, beg, plead, and what have you to try and get me back or simply to bitch at me. So I preempted him and stopped it at the source.

Maybe not the best way to go about it, but I didn't want him trying to squeeze back into my life. There was nothing there and I wasn't going to keep lying to myself that there was.

From what I understand though, I think she'll be alright with it. It seems like your relationship has just died and she's probably noticed it too. Just be sure to use weasel words like 'it seems' so you can say it was all a misunderstanding as a defense.

 

[Spiceberry]

As said before, your relationship is distant and almost awkward. She doesn't even respond to your texts! I'd say call her up and say that you both know it's not working. If it were a more serious relationship you should do it in person, but since it's already distant there's nothing wrong with a phone call.