Wife WAS a porn star?!?!

[Setsuken]

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2008/08/12/“my-wife-was-a-porn-star-what-should-i-do”/

I dunno what's more sad, the fact that this is actually a situation in real life... or the fact that the dude who's facing said situation is actually asking for help on the INTERNET!

(Also, I hope this doesn't violate the rules of the forum. The article itself doesn't contain any inappropriate content besides the fact that said wife WAS a porn star... If this DOES violate the Rules, please close it/delete it)

 

[Donald Trump]

I don't see why this guy should care. She isn't a pr0n star anymore. I think it's kind of pathetic that he is judging his wife by her job. Also he didn't expect her to be a virgin, so I can't see any difference between being a porn star and having previous sexual relationships.

 

[Gingerbread Lesbian]

I feel sorry for the guy if his children ever see their mother on a porn film, how do you explain that one?
Apart from that small reason, I don't see why it would cause any problem, everyone has done things in their past that they'll probably regret at one time or another this just might be hers. But yeah I don't see why it matters if she is no longer a porn star.

 

[Fusilli]

If she kept quiet about it then clearly she didn't want him to know for a reason. Maybe she was ashamed of it or just thought that it would cause unnessecary problems if she told? If so then it's obvious that she has no intentions of going back to adult movies and her husband shouldn't have a problem. I'm sure he had done things in the past that he wasn't proud of, nobody's perfect after all.

 

[Erythritol]

Errmmm, I personally think he deserved to know. This isn't like a "oopsie, I once stole something from a store" type of past. If she was in porn, whether she quit or not, those movies are still floating around. Don't you owe it to the person you supposedly love to come clean about something like that? I mean, chances are that your significant other will find out anyway and not in the best of ways (as we can see from what happened to this guy). I think it's completely different from previous sexual relationships because it's completely public. There are MOVIES of her having sex. That's not the same at all. I'd be completely horrified if I were that man. You really think he wants to imagine people jerking off to videos of his wife having sex with other men? I think it was pretty douchey of her not to tell him, whether she's ashamed of it or not. If he loves her, he'll be able to deal with it. But she at least owes him the truth.

 

[L]

I think he's blown it a bit out of proportion, though.

NOEZ, MY WIFE WAS A PORNSTAR, WUT SHULD I DO?

I don't think it's something anyone would straight up say, anyway. Just seems like too odd of a subject to talk about with someone you're in item with.

I'm assuming that she's quit that lifestyle. Personally, I'd be a little offended and want a little bit of time to myself to get over it, though. I think it's more important not to lose sight of what's in front of you to direct your sight upon something far behind unless it's becoming such a troublesome problem that needs significant attention.

 

[Doaj]

Errmmm, I personally think he deserved to know. This isn't like a "oopsie, I once stole something from a store" type of past. If she was in porn, whether she quit or not, those movies are still floating around. Don't you owe it to the person you supposedly love to come clean about something like that? I mean, chances are that your significant other will find out anyway and not in the best of ways (as we can see from what happened to this guy). I think it's completely different from previous sexual relationships because it's completely public. There are MOVIES of her having sex. That's not the same at all. I'd be completely horrified if I were that man. You really think he wants to imagine people jerking off to videos of his wife having sex with other men? I think it was pretty douchey of her not to tell him, whether she's ashamed of it or not. If he loves her, he'll be able to deal with it. But she at least owes him the truth.

Said it like a champ.

 

[Setsuken]

I think he's blown it a bit out of proportion, though.

NOEZ, MY WIFE WAS A PORNSTAR, WUT SHULD I DO?

I agree with you completely. I mean sure... it's an issue, but not one that I'd go around talking about on the Internet. I mean seriously... It's beyond embarrasing that ANYONE know of this XD

I guess the guy was pretty shocked and confused about this. He didn't know where to turn to. Of course, the Internet was NOT the best place XD

Errmmm, I personally think he deserved to know. This isn't like a "oopsie, I once stole something from a store" type of past. If she was in porn, whether she quit or not, those movies are still floating around. Don't you owe it to the person you supposedly love to come clean about something like that? I mean, chances are that your significant other will find out anyway and not in the best of ways (as we can see from what happened to this guy). I think it's completely different from previous sexual relationships because it's completely public. There are MOVIES of her having sex. That's not the same at all. I'd be completely horrified if I were that man. You really think he wants to imagine people jerking off to videos of his wife having sex with other men? I think it was pretty douchey of her not to tell him, whether she's ashamed of it or not. If he loves her, he'll be able to deal with it. But she at least owes him the truth.

True, But some people are just cowards. I can imagine a lot of scenarios where she couldn't be able to tell him:

1. She loves him so much that she doesn't want to hurt him and therefore risk losing him.

2. She got with him after she restarted her life and started a normal one. She does NOT want to revisit her old life, as it's quite a dark mark on her past.

e.t.c. There can be tons of reasons, but basically what I'm trying to say is that while she SHOULD have, it's perfectly understandable that she couldn't.

I mean... people freak out at hearing about past relationships and all that, and this just totally blows everything out of proportion XD

 

[Sephiroth Crescent]

Well she doesn't do it anymore, everyone has done something they're not proud of.

I think he should relax and be happy hes married to a sexually experianced woman .

- Kuja

 

[Lahl]

Damn, way to get hit in the balls.
The moral and loyal deed to do would be to stay with your wife and try to maintain the relationship. Do not even hint at the situation, basically before he knew that Im guessing everything was fine?
However, if I was that mine - jeeeez. Im a really jealous person, and things such as my GF's ex's wind me up. No not her but her ex's, a few months ago there was one who would tell her he had a naughty dream baout her. He knew I was with her, she wasn't interested and he even had a Girlfriend. But I still got wound up with my GF, asked her loads of questions, etc. Acted a real douche. She wasn't to blame at all, I realised that quickly. However, it still didn't stop me threatening his family with my Death-All materia haha. It's still funny to see someone hide their face from you when their driving and your walking down the sidewalk.
Anyway I ranted on then. if my wife was an ex-pornstart, I couldn't handle it. I like my goods semi decent not second, third, fourth or one hundreth hand.

 

[Ironman]

i think he is quids in, at least he knows why the sex is so great, and anyway whats he complaining about being married to an Ex-pornstar shouldn't be a bad thing. as long as she has quit the business and made sure she is clear of STI's and what nots its allright

 

[MasterX]

The poor dude's like "OMG! My wife did porn! What should I do!" Thinking that many guys used/still jerk off to his wife would unsettle any husband, but he tried to solve it the wrong way. He should've tried talking to her first and settled as much as he can within that one conversation.

That was the 'popular' answer, now here's mine: If she WAS a porn star, then that shouldn't matter. If she ended her career before she met him, why is it any of his business? The way I see it is if a wife/gf/lover was involved in porn before, then she'll have a bit of experience under her belt, so it wouldn't necessarily be a disadvantage.

 

[Dionysos]

That was the 'popular' answer, now here's mine: If she WAS a porn star, then that shouldn't matter. If she ended her career before she met him, why is it any of his business? The way I see it is if a wife/gf/lover was involved in porn before, then she'll have a bit of experience under her belt, so it wouldn't necessarily be a disadvantage.

I don't know... Being a porn star, past or not, is a pretty major thing. Only slightly more acceptable than being a prostitute (in that it's probably safer)... But still if she was doing stuff with many men it would be quite important for the husband to know, at least before they married (perhaps for going out / dating in the early stages she could do without mentioning it, but later when they fell in love and trusted each other she should have let it out).

I realise she may have wanted to have started a new life, fresh start, but I feel she may have been a little selfish in deceiving her husband. Her husband I feel has the right to know this sort of thing. It's not just forgetting to tell him about an ex-boyfreind.. It's forgetting to tell him that she's commited acts with several men, and that these may be spreading across the world via video and internet, and that people may be viewing them. To find this out through actually watching one of these is both unfortunate and embarassing.