Serious Love

Valkyrur

Valkyrur

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Auralesca Vlangia
Love.

What exactly is it to you? What does it mean to us?

Up here in the Temple of Ancients, I can see some of the problems actually linked to this four-lettered word. To someone as amateurish as me, it's probably incomprehensible.

Thousands of soap opera's not going to teach me better about the subject than experiencing it myself, but I'm still curious about it either way.

I'm 15. 16 this year on Halloween. (Oh yes, my birthday's on Halloween itself)

Honestly speaking, it's a time where hormones rage. I wouldn't be surprised if I found someone I actually like, or have someone who truly like me. So, I'd like to know the general opinion of what love is like, and some comments on how I view love.

To me,

Love is something that would be shared between my other half and myself. It will be the strong force that binds her to me, and I'll have to put in my utmost to ensure this bond holds strong. Life will be a fearsome enemy to the bond I try to forge, and it'll throw many an obstacle.

I believe Love will come with trying situations financially, psychologically, and whatever-ly. However, with it, comes a form of satisfaction in life, a form of happiness that is hard to find, or virtually impossible to obtain from other methods.

It will be through my utmost, and really, my utmost, that I'll overcome all this hurdles. These words seem weak in face of the real scenario, and that is my belief. Yet I believe Love will be a fuel at the same time, which will power my jump across that hurdle.

From which, I'll finish the race, hand in hand, with that partner of mine- despite all the troubles we face.

(The above is not some rip off from some inspirational speech or anything. It's purely my own words, save for the fact I did get inspiration from inspirational talks. lol)

... So, what is your opinion of that? Naive? I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case.... I'm young! :P
 
Coindicentally enough, I was talking to someone last night about this very topic. The root of topic was the fact that so many people say it in so many situations, essentially rendering it less meaningful in the long run. The point is valid, it does get said a lot and it usually ends up being in vain. And though I did agree to that, I made the point that even though you're only supposed to really love 1 person romantically in life that people always "feel" like they love the person they are with, and usually don't realize until much later that they never really did. So it gets said a lot without actually being valid. But the timing in which it gets said is valid, even though it's not the case in the big picture.

The general thing I tell people about love is that it's something you can't validly put into words. It's a feeling you have for someone that is indescribable. As for finding out if you love someone or not, it really is something that you have to experiment with to fully understand what it is. It's a very tricky concept and it can be very misleading. I too have been misled by concept of what I thought was love, but really wasn't, it happens to the best of us.

So my general thoughts on the matter are, its a feeling that cannot be described by words. When it does happen though, you know it, and it's magical. :ryan:
 
Christ, you know how long of an essay I could write on this? Take in mind this might be long to you, but to me this is only a fraction of a post I could do.

Love..

People look through their who life for purely innocent love. I will discuss something different first though.

People go through their whole life finding lust, sexual desires, and only tasting the surface, of their so called love. I define it very differently, and maybe I sound like an old man in saying this, but my way of thinking has been weathered from overexposure to all the real shiznit I had to deal with when I was younger.

Before I say this I am not a Christian. I will never be one. But I am a humanitarian..

For me loving a good friend same sex or opposite sex is almost like loving your spouse... cept one you are physically attracted to and the other you are not.

Can you love everyone? I can't. I have tried. It doesn't work that way. I love the majority of people I meet though.

Love to me has to deal with your soul and your heart. You put your faith in the person, and you can tell them whatever the heck you want. You can be backed up by them at a moments notice, and they can be honest to you if they need to be. They should never be afraid of telling you what they think. Love is respecting someone and trusting someone with your very life you were given. You look to this person for answers often times. You look to this person for maybe a physical thing (hug or smile). Sometimes that's all you need to get on with your life. They are the bandaids in our life. You never tell them lies, because they see right through it all. You know they just want to see you happy, so they know who the right counterpart for you is.

As for your soul mate.. is there a thing? You be the judge. I'll tell you my view.

It's hard to tell really. I gave my entire soul and heart to someone when I was a bit younger, because they were on the verge of doing the stupid shiz a person can do. I intervened where I could.. and because of it, it drained me. I believe in kindred spirits.. I believe in people who think like me, I believe a lot of people have love, are in love, or just love me in general, but I show it in my smile.

Love is something the majority of the people will never comprehend because of the constant distractions in their own life. It is hard to grasp because it isn't physical. It is not something you can "see" it is something you know and will never be gone. Even in death you know they are with you. You know they are what made you who you are. You remember their smiles, their talks, their care, and their faith in you... hence you love them.

For the people you don't love.. all these things either didn't exist in the first place, or were forgettable. Love goes hand in hand with Hate though.

One thing I do know though, is when that loved person is gone.. expired.. the silence grows inside you. It might be beautiful to some.. but god willing you know how much of a burden it is to your soul. You might accept it.. and live a normal life.. but when you are reminded blatantly of them but something they may have done, listened too, or taught you.. it stops you in your steps.

"There is not one day that you are living that has been promised to you"
 
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I'm going to give you two quotations that sum up my feelings on love, one short and one long.

'"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.' Robert A. Heinlein

A couple of people I've given this definition to find it insufficient. And, well, honestly I think they're stupid, because that sums up all sorts of love in a nutshell. And, in any kind of relationship, if both people actually love each other, it means an understanding that your own happiness and well being are just as important as the other person's. It gives both people a drive and a responsibility to be the best version of themselves, for their own self and for each other.

As for romantic love, in the sense of being "in love", honestly I didn't used to believe in it. Experience has told me it does exist, and is probably the greatest high in the universe. HOWEVER, one should understand that the state is not sustainable, and maybe not even desirable in a long term relationship. Romantic love should ultimately be the same as any other love, plus some sexual desire. Your lover should also be your friend.

The other quotation I'll just link to, because it's pretty long.

This one is more about being in love, which is a different thing than love itself in my experience.
 
Love is the best feeling in the world and also the worst. Love makes us do and say stupid things. Fights start over love, people have been murdered over it I suppose. Im not a fan of love, but I would like to be loved forever. But nothing IMO lasts forever lol.
 
So is love really a feeling?
So why is it so much stronger and unexaplinable than sadness or happiness or anger or jealousy....?
To me, love is it not a feeling. It's bigger and better and far more complex than any other feeling we can encounter. It's a decision.
Alot of people have been asked why they love their significant other. They usually say stuff like "oh, they have a great personality/theyre sooo strong/ they make me laugh" etc etc etc.
Does anyone ever say that they love someone simply because they said that they would?
I have tried my best to love everyone, simply because I said I would, and it's rewarded me with a good reputation (yeah...some reward eh?)
My point is that love comes with feelings, but it is not a feeling in itself. Feelings can die out slowly, come back, die out quickly, going into a vicious cycle. But thinking of love as a decision/vow/commitment allows it to stay put as the feelings of love come and go.
I also somewhat agree with your explanantion of love, Valkyrur. It is a great bond that should take incredible effort to keep. Alot of people have lost sight of that truth.
 
Love. The complexity of such a word being put into a phrase of sentence has eluded humans throughout time. Many people around my age (18) might say they know what it is. I don't know if i even know what it is for sure.

This is one of those things man might not even fully understand. And that's okay. What''s important is to make sure you are sure of your situation. IF you keep falling in "love" with person after person you date. Your not in love. I'd say you have a need to be with some body. Or maybe i'm wrong. Maybe they do fall in love and are very easy to sway and such.

I cannot give a definition of such a word. I cannot explain things of such an emotion, if it can even be called that. I cannot give any advice of such a topic. It is too obscure a topic, given many people define love in many different ways.
 
The following statements are from my own personal experiences with Love.

Love is an amazing and wonderful feeling that can hit you when you least expect it. Love is joy, love is sorrow, love is passion, love is pain. All these I've experienced while traveling down this road.

Now, I know a lot of you know some of my ups and downs with love that I've shared on here, but frankly, they are just a tiny fraction of it. I like to say that my heart is scarred from my past "relationships" (none of them were official), and that Andy is the one who can heal them. He knows of my damaged past and still takes me for the person I became from them. THAT is love. He sees me as one of the most perfect people in the world, as I do him. The best way to sum it up is in my quote signature. Those are his own words. Those are his thoughts of me. I try to live up to them every day, and I still find myself unworthy of his love. That is how love can be painful.

There were points I thought I'd never experience the joy that I feel now. I so desperately wanted to be loved, I ended up depressing myself and fell into a dark time. Andy was the one who pulled me out of it and helped me find true happiness, both with him and in myself.

Love is amazing. Love, at times, is purely indescribable. It can be just a feeling that you know is love, without the need to explain. Love is an amazing feeling.

Love, in general, is something that not everyone understands nor wants, and I can understand that. Love may not be for everyone, but I feel everyone should be loved in some form.
 
Well it really all depends on the type of Love, how you define it and what it means to the individual more than a generalisation really.

For me there are two kinds of love:

Friendship/Family Love
Romantic/Emotional love

The reason I find the word Love is tossed about so much is usually in referal to the friendship or family kind of love, mainly because of its universal flexibility and strong meaning.

To Love a friend or family member for me is to have a deep mutual respect for that person and to let them know that you are happy for them to be part of your life.

Now Romantic, or emotional Love is a whole different animal entirely, albeit some of the base principals do remain, such as respect and happiness, but in order for it to be truly evolved into Emotional Love, you usually place that person above yourself and feel a strong personal connection with them.

People do also often mistake Love as Lust as well, the biggest differing point between Love and Lust is usually simply decided by a matter of sexual tension, with lust you will pretty much only have one thing mainly on your mind, whereas love you will feel a whole lot of things about the person in question, and sex is not all that high on the agenda as you could go without it.

As far as emotional love goes, I can honestly admit I've only ever been in love twice. love to me in this form is so much more than saying a three little words on an occasional basis, you feel so strongly about the person that you would litterally do anything for them, and although you may miss them when they are not around, you respect it and dont go all panicy, needy or paranoid about them not being there.

Like I've said I've been in Love twice, the first time was with my long term ex, and I know I'm in love again, but thats something I'd rather keep to myself for the time being :wacky:
 
Love is the chemistry that occurs between two individual organisms, and is naturally selected in more recently evolved species in order to ensure the survival of that species. If there was no love, there would be no real incentive to procreate, and not all organisms need to know what the purpose of it is for; as long as they feel they need to, and such a thing as love does the job, then they will. As for the other love, there would be no such thing as altruism without it. At least in some species anyways.

But because the human species has a tendency to imitate nature and go beyond it, we have defeated natural selection in some respects, including love--not all love results in procreation.

Love bears no significance to me, beyond a biological explanation for why procreation generally occurs. I have no desire for either, and such a strong chemical reaction (the hormones that induce it, that is) requires more care to deal with than most people think it should, and personally, it's more trouble than it's worth.
 
What is love?

I've said this many times before; I've never been in love, never experienced lust, but I still allow myself to believe that the two are completely separate, and one does not need the other to survive.

But I've had someone recently tell me that if you are in love, then you are also in lust, because otherwise you're just friends.

This makes sense to me, since apparently sex is one of the most important and healthy things in a relationship... but why? Is it because society tells us that, so we believe strongly that if there is no sex, than things just aren't working out --despite how strong the mutual love is? If lust is lacking, then love is lacking too?

This kind of thinking has lead me to believe something that is really actually kind of terrible in a sense. There is a part of me --one that I like to ignore because I don't like it-- that doubts a man can truly fall in love. But I'm pretty sure that's due to my ignorance, because I don't truly know the extent to a man's urges. All I've been told is that those urges are extreme.
I don't fully and completely believe that men can't fall into pure love, because I'm aware I lack knowledge. Someone fill me in, I hate thinking this way.

This belief (the one before the "men can't fall in love" one) has also made me wonder what exactly entitles someone as a homosexual or bisexual etc. Because I believe that love is separate from lust, I feel like I could possibly fall in love with a woman, but I can never lust after one. I believe that I would be able to fall in love with the person she is, without wanting to do anything sexual with her. The same for men too, even though I'm positive that I can lust after a male.
Even though I would never put myself under this label, does this make me "bisexual" (fuck, I hate labels... but that's a whole other thread)? Or because I would never do anything sexual with a woman, then I'm just "straight"?



What do you guys think about this? Do you agree? Do you disagree? Do you want to add on to these thoughts?

I feel so lost.
 
I can understand where you're coming from. I believe that you can fall in love without lust, and vice versa. However, I do believe that a man can fall in love. I'm a bisexual, and currently feeling lust and love for someone. I think love and lust can both make for wonderful relationships seperately, but I think to find your life partner, you need some of both.
 
Mitsuru Kirijo said:
I can understand where you're coming from. I believe that you can fall in love without lust, and vice versa. However, I do believe that a man can fall in love. I'm a bisexual, and currently feeling lust and love for someone. I think love and lust can both make for wonderful relationships seperately, but I think to find your life partner, you need some of both.
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But why do you need both? It's natural for humans to have specific feelings and want to fulfill certain wants, but why do we need to have sex? Why is lust looked at as something so important? Is it because it is, or because society thinks so?
 
I suppose that's a possibility. There is such a thing as a loving celibate relationship. I guess it's relative. Different people have different ideas of just what love is. For one it might be your typical fairytale love. For others maybe lust. Personally I would place personality over appearance anyday, and if you're truly in love with someone, and you want to be with them, sex shouldn't be a condition.
 
Guys. I'd like to point out that this thread is NOT in the spam section. It has a topic and a reason. Please do not spam it up and stay on the topic Catnip has created. Thankyou.


I believe it's entirely possible to be in a relationship just based solely on love. Lust is NOT a necessary factor of a relationship in my opinion. Society says you must lust after the person you love. At least, that's how it comes across to me. I don't believe that. Sure, you can love AND lust after the same person, but it doesn't mean it's a requirement.

If you can lust after someone... and not love them. Surely it's possible to love them and not lust? That's my opinion at least.

I, however, like my relationship to contain both, but that's just my own personal preference. I don't think every relationship has to follow my preferred taste or follow my past experiences.

If that made any sense at all.
 
I think you have to have both if you're talking long term unless you mutually have no interest in sex, lust, etc yadayadayada.....at which points you'd essentially be really close roommates. again - I think it's all from the perspective of the length of the relationship. I can't see one going a long time without balance - short term sure because you're satisfying needs at a point in time - long term no.

And to answer the question in the thread title - love is when you feel comfortable enough to fart in front of someone that you have an intimate relationship with. It's really that simple.
 
Catnip said:
But why do you need both? It's natural for humans to have specific feelings and want to fulfill certain wants, but why do we need to have sex? Why is lust looked at as something so important? Is it because it is, or because society thinks so?
Click to expand...

Both, I think. There's definitely a biological imperative to have sex, and that starts with the flood of hormones one gets during puberty. And it makes sense, as the first biological imperative of just about every species on the planet is the preservation of its species, i.e. producing offspring.

But there's also a sociological importance placed on sex. Regular sexual contact between partners is viewed by most health professionals as important to a healthy relationship, and one of the first signs that a relationship is in trouble is if the sexual aspect of the relationship starts to disintegrate.
 
Mitsuru Kirijo said:
I suppose that's a possibility. There is such a thing as a loving celibate relationship. I guess it's relative. Different people have different ideas of just what love is. For one it might be your typical fairytale love. For others maybe lust. Personally I would place personality over appearance anyday, and if you're truly in love with someone, and you want to be with them, sex shouldn't be a condition.
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This exactly! I don't care about appearance, I can actually be attracted to anyone with a mindblowing personality. I'm just convinced that people these days are so unbelievably shallow to the point where it's just pathetic, and sex to them is just as important as communication and trust.
 
There will always be people who agree and disagree with you. If you believe this, I think it's perfectly rational. Doing anything else, looking for lust when it's love you really want, isn't necessary. If it's love you want, you'll find someone who shares your desires.
 
Ryomou Shimei said:
If you can lust after someone... and not love them. Surely it's possible to love them and not lust? That's my opinion at least.

I, however, like my relationship to contain both, but that's just my own personal preference. I don't think every relationship has to follow my preferred taste or follow my past experiences.

If that made any sense at all.
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This is very true. People sleep around all the time and there is absolutely no love present.

That all made perfect sense. I think it's just them media and society in general telling us that it's absolutely needed. Especially when we watch people like doctor phil telling us that
 
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