[SU/Discussion/Brainstorming] - Have Party, Will Travel

=p Nice of you to join us Fox.

Hee, nice character thar CK. ^_^ I've got to hold conference with Jonnie-boi in order to give ya some more ideas on enhancing your char and then you can go ahead and chuck him in!
 
I feel I've been neglecting my responsibilities. Will definitely post tomorrow. I'm just too damn tired to think of a decent post. and on a sidenote, I have to think up of a way to bring my beloved - yet neglected - gryphon. Perhaps soonish. :D
 
*snrks at your screename* :p

Hee, yes, Ryan's missed his bash-buddy-to-be! XD Do post, and don't worry so much about quality, we're trying to have fun.
 
Ohai thar CK =D Welcome to the club. Phoebe and I have discussed this over Skype, and here are some things that we think could be improved upon. They don't necessarily have to be done immediately - only one is important enough to require immediate attention - but can be developed over the course of the RP.

Personality and First Impressions - We're not sure you quite grasp the essence of what these sections are trying to do. For the Personality, we want you to delve into what makes your character...well, your character. What makes him unique as a person, and not as a warrior? Who is he, what made him that way (not the historical parts)? These are just some questions that you should consider. These days the length of something isn't as important to me, but four sentences really isn't enough to capture the essence of your character. For First Impressions, you seem to have the basic understanding of what it is, but the execution is off. It's not about how he reacts to those that react to him, it's only about how people react to him, and their justifications for doing so.

Statistics: Specifically, speed and stamina. 5 mph is actually rather slow; most people can run that fast, and considering that your character is an elf I wouldn't be surprised if Aedan actually was able to run at least 50% faster, even with his armor on. Stamina is also off in that 10 seconds in full armor is rather weak for a trained paladin. Perhaps you should boost it a little, though keep it realistic.

Weapon: The details here are confusing, I think. Is the handle itself like a dragon head, or is that the pommel? The grip? The crossguard? The only thing here is that you need to be more detailed. How heavy is it? Thick? Sharp? Is it a short point or a long point? All we want here is more detail.

Magic: Details are also key here, but this is the section that -needs- to be amended. You specify activations times, but the cost is vague; what is required for these spells? How are they used? What are the specific effects - what do restoration and heal do, and what are their limits? How much sleep does he need? These are just some of the questions; I'm sure that there are others you can think up, and all the power to you! Your uniqueness is what makes a good bio.



Well, that's really all we felt the need to address. Again, only the last one -needs- to be changed before RPing since it's far too vague. Don't go over the top with the detail - statistics are ill-advised, but details are good.
 
I'll finish up the magic part tomorrow, and throw in some stuff for the others then, too.
 
You know, I'm pissed that I had Tysorai wait in the shadows. Like, really pissed. Now I can't actually do anything till Raz and the others get to the library D: Dammit! The action's picking up really well, too D:

Cardiac Kid said:
I'll finish up the magic part tomorrow, and throw in some stuff for the others then, too.
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That's cool, no rush. We're not elitists, but we like it when people take their time and give us a quality bio instead of a rushed one. They tend to turn out better.
 
Alright, I think I'm about finished with the magic part. I can expand on it more if you want.

Also, should I make a post basically saying that I am where I am, so that people know?
 
Yeah, you can, as soon as I've got Ryan and the commotion and noise he brings with him within your char's range, so that he's got something to react to. :3

In the meantime, flesh him out more ^_^
 
Shiny splish splosh!
Seth is watching yoo!

So... yeah... that just happened.. ^^
You know what to do!


EDIT
Had to fix the link... I linked to the wrong version of Seth ^^
 
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:B Foxy's char is approved! Cardiak's needs one last look over by Jonnie and me and we're all good to go.
 
Mental note: start planning magic part 4 days sooner than everything else, due to lack of a working brain.

Anyway, I think I'm done with the important stuff, and the few other changes that I can actually think of.
 
Sexy Beast said:
Fox, I love Seth. Just saying.
And my post should be up laters on :3
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Thank you ^^

He is an odd one, that Seth. I have to admit he is hard to play at times, but I think that in this one RP he will be abused a lot and abuse just as much in return! ^^
 
Terribly sorry for the delay; busy couple of days and I had a friend over yesterday, something I don't often get to do. Almost 8 hours of MarioKart Wii, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Batman: Arkham Asylum, and The Dark Knight. Fucking awesome night xD

In terms of acceptability, your magic is fine now. It's not perfect, but I don't think it's possible to have perfect magic; there are just so many factors and different routes you can take. I do have a couple of questions and suggestions, but to me the bio looks fine now. These are only things that might be thought-provoking for you, that you might take this bio and clarify it further.


  1. It is mentioned that "Each spell drains up to 15% of his [Aedan's] stamina, and each spell can be cast once without the proper rest he needs". Can this 'proper rest' (i.e. 7-8 hours of sleep) be substituted? Does this mean that he can only cast a single heal spell in a battle, and must wait until after he rests to cast it again?
  2. While I am by no means opposed to incantations, your choices seem odd. What is the purpose behind them (can be explained in history); more specifically, why are those specific words needed, when in the general mythos there's no established connection between the words in your incantations and the effect of the spell?
  3. When one writes a history, generally it is an opportunity to delve into the character and his traits more. The main purpose of the history is for other RPers to see what he is like, and to see that you as an RPer will take the game seriously; think of it as a sort of cover letter, and the rest of the bio is the resume. To that end, why not go into a bit more detail? It is not necessary, but I think you might find that it helps you understand your own character a bit more, and it will cement him even further into your mind than he already is. I do look forward to seeing you expand this, as you say you will.
  4. As you play the RP and use your character more, you may find that his fighting style changes. Practically, his fighting style is extraordinarily ineffective for this kind of RP. I'm not saying to change this - I love it when you get diplomatic characters in otherwise violent RPs, as they always stand out as beacons of hope - but I do think that keeping this set in stone for this particular RP might do more harm than good. Moreso than a lot of other RPs, Have Party, Will Travel will test the versatility of the players. They need to be able to stand by their beliefs and such, but roll with the punches as well. To that end, if a point ever comes that you find your character's fighting style - or even his personality or other things - changing, don't resist this change out of hand. Moderate it, certainly, but change can be good and will help you develop the character further.
...Methinks I'm doing a lot more than I probably should, but I always loved reading over people's bios and giving them tips and stuff. Pity that when I was a mod, I had less time on my hands than I do now (though not by much). Still, this is a good working bio and I look forward to seeing it fleshed out in the RP.
 
I'll probably end up changing little bits and pieces here and there, throwing some stuff in when I get it in my head. Now I just need to answer the couple questions that I had in my noggin.
 
**I got permission from ElvenAngel to comment/help a little on this subject**

Hera Ledro said:
but I don't think it's possible to have perfect magic;
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Oh, I beg to differ! ^^
Perfect is such a relative term, shame on you for not thinking! ^^

When one writes a history, generally it is an opportunity to delve into the character and his traits more. The main purpose of the history is for other RPers to see what he is like, and to see that you as an RPer will take the game seriously; think of it as a sort of cover letter, and the rest of the bio is the resume. To that end, why not go into a bit more detail? It is not necessary, but I think you might find that it helps you understand your own character a bit more, and it will cement him even further into your mind than he already is. I do look forward to seeing you expand this, as you say you will.
Click to expand...

Another idea about the history is that it is a perfect place to answer all sorts of "why's".
Why is he like he is, why did he join whatever order that made him a Paladin? Why does he not fight? ..etc

Also, for your magic, I sense a deal of D&D in here with the charge-system rather than having mana as a cost.
Since he is not a fighter if he can avoid it, it might be a smart move to give him access to more healing, for example, or more spells in general.
One method is that he can have a total of X charges, each spell consumes one charge but he decides which spell to use. This way he can use 4 heals or 3 restorations in one day. Since you detail that every spell uses 15% of his stamina, you also list that each spell can only be cast once per day. Where this is still your choice I'm just giving ideas for you to build on if you should want them.
Also, as Hera asks, the resting; can it be substituted for something like a mana potion (if there is such a thing) or an energy-enchantment from an ally?
Also, how long does this rest need to be? Can he sit and relax/meditate or does he need to actually sleep comfortably.

Im aware that I might be out of order writing these things up, but I cannot help myself (@GM's: tell me and Ill delete the post if Im out of step).
Should you want more help with the magic section (Im a magewhore myself (boasts) so I can help a lot especially in that area), I can help you with it. Though this will be for your own sake more than anyone else as Hera has already pointed out what needs to be done and feel free to ignore my ramblings. ^^
 
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