Things FFVII characters would NEVER say.

eww... this has gotten a tad grody, guys. o_O

Cloud: :woot: I'm hyper!

Cid: *signs* I have taken a vow of silence.

Red: I feel so blue...
 
Cloud: *In a dress* I feel pretty! O So pretty!
**Sephiroth stabs Cloud**
Cloud: I'm still pretty!
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *melts*
Cloud: heheheheh...*dies*
 
Cloud: Alright guys! We can defeat that Midgar Zolom!
Tifa and Barret: Yeah!
*Midgar Zolom appears*
Tifa and Barret: O.O...
Cloud: Alright! Let's get 'im guys!...guys? *sees dust clouds where Tifa and Barret were* Mother fu-
Midgar Zolom: *eats Cloud*

Sephiroth: Oh shoot! I broke a nail...

Cloud: *Hyper*
Aerith: Here's a tranquilizer Cloud!
Cloud: No!
Aerith: *uses tranquilizer*
Cloud: You dumb bimbo!
Aerith: I...dont understand...
Cloud: As long as I'm Hyper, my Limit Gauge will fill faster!
Aerith:..oh
 
Yuffie: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMM:cool:
Cloud: Watcha doin'?
Yuffie: Meditatin'
Cloud: I wanna try!
Yuffie: OK! First, you got to cross your legs reeeeeal tite!
Cloud: Ok! *crosses legs* uuuuuaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhh! :gasp:
Yuffie: oops! I forgot that only women can stand to do that!
 
Cloud (to Sephiroth): With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to Tian'anmen Square
Oh yeah muthafucka, I'm gonna kick your fuckin derierre, yeah yeah
You broke the rules, now I'l pull out all your pubic hair...
 
Rufus Shinra: "The Turks deserve a raise!"

Hojo: "It's my fault Sephiorth's so f*cked-up... If only I'd given him a few hugs when he was growing up."

Cid: "I love you, Shera!"

Aeris: "I'm the slum drunk!"

:wacky:
 
:aerith:: *To Cloud* I want to know you
:cloud:: But I'm right here!
:aerith:: But...whats that?
*a rocket flies in and blows both of them up!
*********************************************************

:cloud:: Lets kill that cactuar
:nanaki:: But killing him would harm the balance of nature???
:cactaur:::offtopic:
:aerith:: Just kill the bitch! *Kills him*
 
:cloud:: Hey look! A chocobo!
:aerith:: Lets kick it!
:chocobo:: That would be mean!
:aerith:: I don't care! *kicks chocobo*
:moogle:: Kupo! That was mean!
:aerith:: *Kills moogle* Cloud! We will be feasting tonite!
:cloud:: :dance:
 
Cloud: *riding on Fenrir* ooh...ow...yikes...I should have used Preparation H...
 
Cloud's crew is standing on the Highwind after defeating Sephiroth.


Cloud: "Why the hell did I kill Sephiroth? WHY??????? MY BROTHER!!!!"
Barret: "...sniff.... I agree.... Why did you kill someone like him....sniff....."
Red XIII: "You morons should stop bawling and focus on gettin' us outta here...GOD!!!"
Tifa: "God, Red XIII, I love it when you take charge....now let's f**k right here!"
Cid: "Please, dearest Tifa, you should know better than to use language like that."
Vincent: "Hey, take it easy, man. We DID beat Sephiroth after all."
Yuffie: "Here, Cloud. I assume you'll want your materia back. I'll finally settle down at Wutai and help the needy."
Cait Sith attaches a bomb to the Highwind. "This'll serve you bastards right for making fun of me! Make fun of my Dice, will you? You stupid sons of....(constant incoherent profanities)"
Aerith is watching down on them from Heaven. "Dammit! Why don't those f**king *ssholes just escape already! Damn them to Hell! Especially that idiot Cloud!
Zack: I agree. God, I hate him so much!!! He was freakin' responsible for my DEATH here!
 
Tifa: Feck off Cloud
Cloud: Make me!
Tifa: Fine!
Cloud: Fine!
Tifa: I love you. (Gives a cookie to Cloud)
Cloud: I love you too. (Eats the cookie)
 
Aerith: Are you gonna stab me or what?
Sephiroth: O_O
Aerith: Not Stab me! STAB ME!
Sephiroth: Oh, Right! *stabs*
Aerith: Farewell!
*Aerith has logged off*
Sephiroth: WTF was that?
 
Aerith: oh hey Seph
Sephiroth: hey
Cloud: .....
Barret: Tifa Your dates here
Tifa: my sephie poos here
*Aerith and cloud start making out on couch*
Barret: Get a room you 2
Cloud my room you out
 
Kamoku-Ai said:
Rufus Shinra: "The Turks deserve a raise!"

Hojo: "It's my fault Sephiorth's so f*cked-up... If only I'd given him a few hugs when he was growing up."

Cid: "I love you, Shera!"

Aeris: "I'm the slum drunk!"

:wacky:
Click to expand...

HAHAHA! That had me almost falling to the floor!
 
Yuffie: Hey, this isn't my materia!

Cloud: Hey, RedXIII...you think Aerith's hot, don't you?
RedXIII: ...What does that have to do with killing Sephiroth?
Cloud: ...It was just a question...

Cid: I miss Shera...I wonder if she's ok...

Tifa: *Sigh* Yuffie, why do girls like you and me hang out with a group of men?
Yuffie: *In a distant voice* Cuz, Cloud is hot...
 
Cid : I quitted smoking.
Aerith : Since when?
Cid : WHY THE HELL SHOULD I TE---Oh look, more cigars! :monster:

_____________________

Marlene's Teacher : Attendance...Marlene?
Marlene (in a very quiet, pissed off mood) : Here...
Marlene's Teacher (can't hear Marlene) : Marlene?
Marlene (in a tiny bit louder voice) : Here...
Marlene's Teacher (still can't hear) : Marlene?!
Marlene (very pissed off) : I'M FUCKING HERE, STOP FUCKING CALLING OUT MY NAME, I ALREADY SAID HERE, YOU FUCKING BITCH...okay I'm done. :)
 
Cloud: Damn! Why do you have so much health!?
Sephiroth: Well, I'm the Boss after all
 
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